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September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. gottawonder

    What kind of retarded artical is this. I am a Christian, my wife is hot and we have a great sex life. Much sex all over the house. Just Dumb.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:48 pm |
  2. Brandon

    as much as I hate the blog for creative reasons, Acuff is right on this one. I got into a conversation with one of my older pastors about how the older generation attempts to take things too far in an attempt to communicate a message and for that reason kids are rejecting them. It's not just that gambling is bad, so are cards. It's not just that lewd behavior is bad, all dancing is bad. It's not just that there are a few bad ideas in liberalism, the whole ideaology is evil. It's not just that intercourse forges a bond that should be taken seriously, all of it is from satan.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:48 pm |
    • Frogist

      @Brandon. I see your point and I agree that it's the extremists who cast aspersions on harmless things just because they are associated with something else. These extremists are missing the point and ruining any potentially good message they have.

      But I have to say that people take intercourse, especially their first time very seriously! I don't' think it's a lack of gravity that's propelling kids to poor decisions. I think it's a lack of info and support. If any teenager answers honestly, the biggest thing in their lives is never going to be school or community, it's how do I deal with se-x or my lack thereof. If anyone is willing to give them honest and relevant answers at this point, they will be hooked for life.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:17 pm |
  3. PeteH

    Christians are obsessed with it; they've distorted it and they've deprived themselves and their children of information/facts. The result is an entire segment of society with no functioning knowledge of how to get it on in a hot/fun/different way... Free your mind and the rest will follow.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
    • LuLu

      AMEN! All Hail Pete H!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:07 pm |
    • Smith

      PeteH: You should not generalize! I'm Christian and have been my whole life. My fiance is not. Don't even try to tell me that I have "no funcioning knowledge of how to get it on in a hot/fun/different way...." I would have to disagree, and my secular fiance would tell you I absolutely have that functioning knowledge. And he didn't have to teach me.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:30 pm |
    • abiaggne

      You're a close minded person. My wife and I of 14 years, Christian, have had the hottest, best sex our whole marriage. Why don't YOU stop putting people in boxes and lay off the generalizations.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:50 pm |
    • Reality Check

      Are you 12 years old PeteH and LuLu? I mean, really. What a profoundly simple minded generalization you're making given that the vast majority of Western Civilization has considered themselves Christians - followers of Christ teachings at one degree or another (literally billions of souls served). I can assure there is nothing new under the sun that you can introduce to the erotic scene: 2000 years and generations upon generation! We wouldn't exist to blog about this subject if it were otherwise. Grow up and manage the gaps please.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:19 am |
    • Kaw2bKb

      I am so sick of this world always talking about and using sex as a weapon or tool. Sex sells; but that doesn't mean it is all about hot and sensual woman. Where are the hot and sensual men? Women want to see them since guys get to see girls all the time. Now we are discussing hot and heavy sex in the Christian marriage. Wow. I'm sorry but to me sex does not rule my world. There is way more to life than sex. Yes I was raised Christian and yes I have taught my children sex is for marriage but I also talked with them about pre-marital sex since sex is all they see on tv and in magazines. Sex with the right partner is fantastic, and sometimes we have to go through several partners to find that right one and at the time when we were quote 'In Love' sex was fantastic. Sex can ruin a relationship or make it better. Sex is a form of communication and bonding and can also be an excillent stress reliever. Why are we so focused on sex, this world has so much more going on that we need to focus on the other stuff. Who cares whom is having sex with whom? Being comfortable with your partner and trusting your partner enough to experiment sexually is between you and your partner, I don't want to read about it. Kudo's for you but I'm not in the bedroom with you so why should I want to read about it. To be honest, i'm not a prue and yes I absolutely love sex; with my man and no-one else. I don't talk about it to my girlfriends or co-workers. It's private between us. Bottom line is; if you are complaining about Christians' sex life you must be jealous and not getting any yourself.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:26 pm |
    • PHIL

      Some people say the dumest thing about people they don't know , you have no idea how Christion think most negative remarks towards Christions show that.

      September 4, 2010 at 7:47 pm |
    • mohan

      First piece of sane advice in this unbelievable article!!

      September 8, 2010 at 10:48 am |
  4. JLP

    I agree with the article. As a Christian I know firsthand how sex has been demonized. We really need to follow the plan that God has for us and "cleave to your wives". I believe he wants us to enjoy ourselves sexually.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
  5. Squeezebox

    It says in the book of Genesis "Be fruitful and multiply. Renew the Earth and subdue it." Sounds like God likes sex to me.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
  6. CatholicMom

    God invented ‘it’…..for a married man and woman. It became dirty when others took this gift that was not given to them and turned it into something ‘else’.
    Everything that God made about it is beautiful and special. And it should always be HOT! Food and this are most often talked about, right? So think of chili…spicy and hot, especially on a very cold day….YES! [Catholics love chili, too!]

    September 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
  7. Bob

    Been Christian all my life, been married for 25 years and been having a good time in the bedroom with the one and only person I have ever been with, that's my Mrs. I believe this is a gift from God and there is nothing wrong with taking accepting His gifts.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
    • Dorie

      Aaaww, that's sweet Bob. Our society doesn't hear stories like yours very much. How sad... I think married couples should get some kind of gold medal or something after so many years of being together! Seriously, I remember a pastor saying in church one time *and to his credit he was a very "real" pastor who didn't flurish in superficial stuff* he said "I'll show you a marriage of 30-40-50 years and I'll tell you that same couple has been through hell and back to stay that way"! I found it prophetic...

      September 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm |
    • Amanda

      AMEN to that!!! We are at the 13 year mark and enjoying the gift very much! Don't know why people think that Christians are prudes...we just don't let the crap come into our bedroom that ruins a HUGE majority of marriages.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:20 pm |
    • Frogist

      @Bob: You were one of the lucky ones. Not everyone fits well with their first partner.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:06 pm |
    • Kate

      @Frogist

      Why do I have this image suddenly of you trying someone on in the dressing room first now?

      Just laughin'

      September 3, 2010 at 7:15 pm |
    • Niwotmom

      I agree with Bob. God gave us sex for the purpose of procreation and to show love between a husband and wife. God intended for intercourse to be kept in marriage. Today sex is a game and it is used and abused. My son has a former 16 year old friend, who has sex with his 16 year old girlfriend, for "mental therapy". She's spreading her legs, to be used and nothing more. The sex act has become a game.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:33 am |
    • Copt

      I am an Orthodox Christian, and my church teaches that the marrital-sex relationship is the core of one of it's 7 secrets. I agree with Vernonika's earlier posting as well- so much judgemental stereotyping from shallow hollow CNN reporters who are too superficial to do researching before editing their rubbish. Wont turn to CNN for Credibility anymore

      September 4, 2010 at 12:45 pm |
    • Frogist

      LOL@ Kate: Can't say I've never thought of trying someone on in a dressing room! But alas I am too shy...

      September 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm |
  8. Steve

    Christians spoil sex???

    Maybe so, if your idea of sex is purely hedonistic. If so, then we probably spoil gluttony, selfishness, narcissism, self-aggrandization,etc, etc, etc......

    September 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
  9. DrFood

    Growing up a Christian, I always got the impression that s ex is merely a way of procreating inside marriage. To indulge in s ex outside of marriage was evil. To enjoy s ex was evil. About the only positive s ex message I heard was "s ex is God's marriage gift".

    Christians really need to do a better job pitching their religion. People tend to condemn and vilify way too much

    September 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
    • Jean

      Agreed. I was raised catholic, and it was made pretty clear to all generations before me that s-ex, when not used within the marriage and with the intent to procreate, is a sin.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
    • CatholicMom

      Yes, Jean,
      It is a gift just for a married man and woman and they should be open to life since marriage is a covenant made with God. There is no beauty in sin and so the Catholic Church to this day upholds this concept about marriage.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:09 pm |
    • momof8

      God gave man and woman (Adam and Eve) sex as a gift–one to be shared in marriage only. To say that sex is only for procreation is to take a wonderful gift and make a source of endless shame. I have friends for whom having children was not possible–they just couldn't conceive. Does that make their sex life illicit? I think not! Someone needs to read Song of Solomon! This becomes a huge source of shame and gullt for those who do not understand that sex is for married people–not just for having children, not something to be traded lightly between two strangers hooking up. Married sex is amazing...toe curling, breath taking, amazing. A gift–and one we enjoy with gusto!

      September 3, 2010 at 10:44 pm |
    • blessed

      Yes it is a gift from God Ilove his gifts all of them

      September 4, 2010 at 12:31 pm |
    • Izzy

      I agree 100% with you! As a survivor of parochial school, my friends and I can attest to the baggage we've carried our entire lives because of the GUILT taught. I don't know if there is a cure. I don't think we make good marriage partners because of the fear of intimacy.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:31 pm |
    • Bill744

      I'm sorry to hear that. No such guilt taught in the denomination where I grew up. You sayyou were taught s-ex is "God's marriage gift" and that unless used for procreation in the marriage, it is evil. Seems to imply that God gives evil gifts. If you heard both these things, it should cause you to question which one is incorrect.

      September 5, 2010 at 1:16 am |
    • CatholicMom

      Bill744,
      God’s gifts are beautiful….it is man who uses the gifts wrongly that makes the act evil. Don’t try to blame God for man’s wrong uses of God’s gifts.

      September 6, 2010 at 10:59 am |
    • CollegeChristianGirl

      I do oppose to how people tend to take the more extreme beliefs of some Christian groups, and assume that every one is like that. Because we're not. This, like the title of this, is misleading.
      I don't know what kind of church all of you have been to, but I am sorry for all of you who were taught that sex is evil or whatever. I am in a college church, which does talk about sex, and in a positive and honest way. Both in church, large groups, discussion, panels of people we know, and personally.
      This is a great statement from the original post: "They (Christians) should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”"
      As for contraception, if someone is opposed to using 'the pill' , a condom works, without killing a 'baby', or fertilized egg.

      Just because someone is Christian doesn't mean that sex is bad or sin. Sex is one way that God has provided for a husband and wife to express their love for each other. As another comment pointed out, "Ephesians 5 that says that a Man shall give hiimself to the marriage in the same way that Christ gave himself to the church." So, of course you are meant to enjoy it. The passion and love between them is a reflection on how passionately God loves and cares for us. By 'us' I mean everybody, not just Christians.

      The Church and Bible do teach that we should not have sex before marriage, to protect you. This is not just to ruin your fun. When you hyave sex it creates a deep emotionlal connection with the other person; you are leaving a part of your (emotional) self with them. Inside of marriage, this is a good thing, because you are already totally commited to each other.
      Outside of marriage, this can just complicate things, cause you to be hurt, ect. You may have a relationship held together on passion and pleasure, not based on a true friendship and partnership and commitment. If you are going to commit yourself to someone else sexually, you should care enough to totally commit yourself to each other in all areas.

      September 6, 2010 at 8:44 pm |
  10. Doug

    Acuff inhabits only a portion of Christianity and he shouldn't generalize. I have not grown up in that circle. My wife and I are both Christians and we heat things up just fine, thanks

    September 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
    • Gee

      Ditto for us, Doug!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:18 pm |
    • Ingenue 2

      Amen on that one. Having been married before though, I can say one problem is that too many christians either don't have or are uncomfortable with a good vocabulary for such communication/play. I once wrote a parody–Mennonite Phone es ee ecks (how's that?), and it hit a nerve with some. There is a healthy place for not treating someone as an object/being treated as an object, and there is a healthy place where there's no need to prove the respect so it's OK to say, to live, to scream, "just do me."

      I think a lot of christians have trouble crossing over to that side of it. One of the wildest BDSM couples I knew was "headed" by a Baptists pastor...I think he just had control issues, actually.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:23 pm |
    • chris

      Same here Doug!!!!!!!!!!! Amen

      September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
    • TB

      AMEN to that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:49 pm |
    • Tom, Long Beach, California

      yes Doug, you are correct...same for my wife and I and I'll bet many of us do it better than the so called porn stars......too bad the ignorance of this writer caused us all to waste our time commenting!!!

      September 3, 2010 at 4:46 pm |
    • jo

      I think the writer is talking about the real christians that idealy abide by the bible not the fake ones that live a life of sin.

      September 3, 2010 at 6:17 pm |
    • Kaye

      What a waste of an article. My Christian sex life is just fine, thank you very much. My husband and I both laughed at this ill written piece.

      Thank God for GREAT SEX!!!!!!

      September 4, 2010 at 12:31 am |
    • Steven

      I like that Doug my wife and I also heat it up,and people need to understand the truth in Gods word. Sex in marriage is a very beautiful thing , but we as Christians place respect for our spouses before our own pleasure.

      September 4, 2010 at 7:42 am |
    • blessed

      well I'm a christian saved by grace I accept all God has for me,I'm married 52 years and with all the storms of life out there,I thank God I have some strong arms to hold me and let ne know how much we still love each other in all ways yes even in intimacy with the one I love and God truely blesses our love for each other. amen

      September 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm |
    • Bill744

      Here, here. Have always enjoyed a great deal of intimacy with the wife. I never heard from Christian teachers that my body or a woman's body is shameful; only that it is shameful to abuse your body. Onan's sin was that he refused to have a child for his brother's inheritance. That has no bearing on the issue of contraception in marriage.

      September 5, 2010 at 1:08 am |
  11. S

    More to the point women who identify as being religious are not encouraged to enjoy S-x. Their body is "ugly" and "bad" and those tingly feelings are "wrong". Until women are comfortable in their own skin and reactions to s-x, they won't be comfortable with a partner and therefore poor s-x experience.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
    • Lapsed

      This does not belong to religious people alone. Women often have some insecurity regarding their bodies brought on by popular culture. Women will enjoy S-E-X with someone when they are comfortable in their own skin, regardless of their belief system.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:13 pm |
    • Veronica

      Generalizations are seldom helpful in any meaningful conversation. The idea that all christians believe this way is just stupid and the person perpetuating this idea is uneducated in the reality of what most, many, and few christians believe, not to mention the fact that there are many different kinds of christians. Had anybody done some kind of research and posted some actual findings instead of anecdotal information, I may have read this article in a different light.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:53 pm |
    • Marty

      Wow. It becomes an interesting read when people that are fairly unfamiliar with the Bible beyond the most basic of facts attempt to respond Biblically to questions of any sort. The Bible is extremely clear that sex between a man and wife is not only ok, it's strongly encouraged, and 'vanilla' sex is nowhere to be found as a directive to married couples. Take some time to read through the Songs of Soloman and tell me if sex is being approached in a 'vanilla' sort of way. What IS strongly spoken against is sexual acts between unmarried couples, extra-marital sex, and same-sex activities. The marriage bed remains undefiled.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:23 am |
    • Reality Check

      I just fell in love with Veronica. I'm sure she's as beautiful outside as she is wise inside. I'm also sure she doesn't fit the BS stereotype of Christians that this weak "article" (more like a random trouble seeking tweet) portrays.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:52 am |
    • Mattski

      You can spell out the word SEX. It's ok you won't in trouble.

      September 4, 2010 at 8:38 am |
    • Niwotmom

      @S-I agree with you some of what you said, however, when you say "women", are you referring to all women, or just religous women? I'm a religous woman, married to the same man for over 20 years now. Woman in general are very self consious about their bodies. If they are overweight, just had a baby, still getting rid of that weight, getting older, no they don't feel good in their own skin and yes, sex can be uncomfortable. I don't agree with your statement that women who are religious, are not encouraged to enjoy sex because it's dirty. Coming from a woman, that's not true.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:44 am |
    • jelectric

      Nowhere in the bible or really within the doctrine of christianity does it say womens body are bad in any way. I don't know where u get your info from. However the body of your wife is something to be enjoyed. Read the book of song of songs and tell me where it is bad. It is sinful to have sex outside of marriage because God knows what it can do to us. Where man's heart truley is. Look at how we treat sex in society... Go ahead have sex with as many people as u want... We use it to sell products.. We really destroy this great gift God has given us. Sex within the context of marriage is to be enjoyed and is a wonderful thing.

      September 4, 2010 at 9:32 pm |
  12. crystal

    this article is retarded. I am a christian and married and have amazing sex! as my church preaches abstinence until marriage, GOD WANTS US TO HAVE PASSIONATE TOE CURLING SEX WITH OUR HUSBANDS or WIFES... I have never once heard christians condemn sex in marriage. But of course this is just one persons opinion

    September 3, 2010 at 2:45 pm |
  13. capnmike

    Religion (the BIG SCAM) attempts to control every human activity, by making you "guilty" if you follow your natural instincts, which of course everyone has. Sex, food, whatever, they want to control it. The pathetic part is that ALL religion is based on a gigantic lie...there IS NO GOD,....it's a human invention. All the blather about gods and devils and heaven and hell etc., is nothing but a huge fantasy.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:45 pm |
  14. John

    Milton made the same point: Hail Wedded Love!

    September 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm |
    • EL

      AMEN!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:09 pm |
  15. Don

    Interesting article. Never through of it that way. My next thought, however, would be the issue of Christianity and birth control. How much of the Christian population is in the "birth control is bad" camp? The Duggar family comes to mind. How passionate and enjoyable could you relations be if you had to worry about a potential pregnancy every time?

    September 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm |
    • LA

      If you're worried about pregnancy than why are you "doing it"? My guess is that they don't see it as something to worry about.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:52 pm |
    • chris

      be careful not to lump Christians into one group. While we are Christians, there are sections that take items like birth control and contort it. Most Christians have no issue with birth control.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
    • Mike

      Don, I think you're lumping all Christians into one group. Catholics are the big anti-birthcontrol sect along with the Mormon Cult (who will argue that they're Christians, but every Christian will argue that they're not). Most of the married Christians I know practice some form of birth-control and have only a couple kids each, not a litter like the Duggers...mindless breeders...

      September 3, 2010 at 4:45 pm |
    • Frogist

      @LA : You do it because you desire your partner. Another odd message: Se-x is for procreation. What if you want a lil sumthn sumthn and have more kids than you know what do do with? You can't mastu-rbate, you can't do it, you can't have an affair, you certainly can't use a con-dom... Do you wait till one of your 18 kids get a job and moves out before you can have se-x again?

      September 3, 2010 at 5:00 pm |
    • Rich

      @Mike –

      While you are certain that Mormons are not Christians, and apparently speak for every other so-called Christian, you have the wrong information about Mormon views of birth control. Note that while Mormons do not believe in limiting the number of children for selfish reasons (i.e have as many children as you are emotionally, financially, etc capable of supporting), they are definitely NOT opposed to birth control. Mormons are against the use of abortion as a method of casual birth control, however. The number of children you have is between you, your spouse, and God. It is not anyone else's business. While premarital and extramarital relations are prohibited, marital relations are encouraged and expected for a healthy marriage. Children are tought that marital relations are a gift from God for both procreation and to promote intimacy between husband and wife.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm |
    • it's only sex

      I don't think the Duggars are worried about getting pregnant.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:51 pm |
    • Jesus

      I like how the same kind of people ask not to lump Christians into one group categorize all Muslims into one group; or even worse, categorize all those with brown skin as Muslims

      September 3, 2010 at 5:56 pm |
    • DefendingMorality

      @Mike–Mormons don't have to argue that they are Christians since they belong to the Church of Jesus Christ. It is self-evident.

      September 3, 2010 at 7:32 pm |
    • CatholicMom

      chris,
      Did you know that ALL of Christianity followed Bible teachings about not using contraceptive measures until 1930? Then when one sect decided it was okay they, I believe, all have followed suit except the Catholic Church which knows that Truth does not change with social winds.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:58 pm |
    • NFPFAN

      What many people may not realize is that there are natural ways to avoid having children if that is in the best interest of the couple or family. It is called natural family planning and when used properly it is as effective if not more effective than chemical or barrier methods of contraception. NFP and many of the Church goers that you speak of see fertility as a gift and not as a disease that needs to be treated. Fertility is not a disease. Contraception is not a cure.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:20 pm |
    • Robert Meek

      The Duggars do not worry about another child. In fact, despite this last one being premature with complications and almost not making it, they said they would love to have # 20!

      I think, personally, that they are insane. I remember their story. They were new, young, used an IUD, swear they did not realize that it allowed "conception" (fertilization) and that they realized it "caused miscarriage" and that they had "killed" their baby.

      I remember this very well.

      So they "repented" and "promised" God that if He would let them that they would have as many kids as He let them have.

      That is irresponsible in this world of diminished resources, and just downright ignorant.

      Okay, they did not like IUD.

      I can respect that, fully.

      But they acted as if it was their only option, and as if ALL forms of birth control must be sin, the way they reacted.

      As I recall, they "got counseling" from their minister, too. Lord only knows what he told them. I would hate to be in his shoes, and face God accountable for my actions.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:31 pm |
    • JeeperJoe

      The ancient Romans used the 69 position as birth control. It makes the pill debate look pale in comparison.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:22 am |
    • jordo

      i unfortunately do not have the answer to your question in terms of how many christians believe that birth control is bad; however, i would like to submit my belief as a believer myself. and hopefully among all the other reponses, you'll be closer to an answer that you are looking for.
      first to be very honest, i am a single guy. i have had to work through many of my own relationship issues while going to college and school and now entering into my own career field. i gotta tell ya, having all that stuff going on at once gets pretty busy and stressfull. and to bring a child into this world adds more responsibility. dont get me wrong, children are a precious gift from god and i would love to have one of my own...but i would need a wife first. so the issue of birth control comes down to making the wisest decision for you and your wife at that time, and leaning on god to give you that wisdom and discernmetn. god is a very real god and undersands what is best for all of us, so he'll tell you when the right time is to bring a new life amungst the rest of us. otherwise we may be living outside our means, if that makes sense. i would consider it unwise and irresponsible to have a baby when you are financially unable to care for it. so, i do not consider birth control to be a form of sin. i hope i made sense, and i hope it helped.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:24 am |
    • ex pre med Catholic

      American Catholics ignore the Church's teachings on birth control more than people think. And its not just doing the rhythm method (old joke: you only do it when you can afford to have the Irish brass band in the room to keep the rhythm). Birth control is at least as old at the 18 century with 'French lettters' which were the original natural condoms. The pill in the 60s really opened up the sexual revolution and probably decreased the illegal abortion rate as much as Roe v Wade did, but that's not something to talk about.

      What is bad is that the goofy Christians are skewing how data is collected in basic health research. States are loathe to publish anything about the number of abortions for fear of nothing but requests of who, where, why and when. And this is the health dept. Where I went to school a course for pre med, pre nursing, and ministry students was shut down due to all the outcry by people who really should know better.

      Lets face it, the one hour lecture on how salmon had sex up in Washington state had zero influence on driving us to abstinence. We went out bought Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask and read that cover to cover. And Joy of Sex is still in print. The banned in Boston crowd is pretty much on the losing side of the debate.

      But its not just pregnancy. When kids think oral sex is not sex, well, expect your sexually transmitted disease rate to go up. Same if they just think hooking up for fun is something to do. And some STDs are fatal and non curable. Some cities have STD rates of 60% or higher in a population. That's preventable and its expensive to try to cure it or decrease the rate of occurance.

      We need to get smarter about all this, after all, it is the 21st century. Not the 19th.

      September 4, 2010 at 2:31 am |
    • Niwotmom

      Belonging to The LDS church, does not a Christian make. Just because Jesus Christ is in the title, doesn't mean they are Christians. There are many Christian churches, Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, etc., that DON'T have the name Jesus Christ in the titles of their church. That doesn't mean a damn thing. I attend a church called St. Louis. It is a Catholic church, but Jesus name is nowwhere in the title. So, it is not self evident. Mormons will continue to argue that they are Christians, but people who are Christians, will continue to argue that they aren't.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:29 am |
    • Mark

      @ CatholicMom – read your Bible, it does not, anywhere, condem contraception or, for that matter, approve of it.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:11 pm |
    • ktrig

      Opposition to birth control is an integral part of the Christian patriarchy movement.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm |
    • Aaron

      @Catholic Mom & NFPFAN, I am very glad for your posts. So many people do not know about natural family planning and about protecting the dignity of life, respect for your partner and working with God's design. Sex is supposed to be unitve and procreative. I suggest that people who are curious to do a google search for Natural Family Planning (NFP). Planning the size of your family natural makes perfect sense. Contraception does not makes sense. Contraception is the only "medicine" used to distrupt a normal body function. Medice is supposed to help the body return, if you will, to it's correct state. Contraception does not do that. And when it fails, (I said "when" not "if") it causes an unwanted pregnancy then leading to the destruction of life.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:11 pm |
    • Aaron

      @Mark, Genesis 38:8-10. Onan's sin. Why don't you read your Bible.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm |
    • JL

      @aaron: The verse you quoted is not about God's judgment against spilling seed on the ground. The thing that displeased God was that Onan did not want to give his brother an heir. It was an issue of selfishness. Sin always has to do with the motives of one's heart.

      September 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm |
    • Momz

      I also am not certain how many Christians do not beliee in birth control. I will say the Duggars have made it very clear that God has called them to this level of faith and not everyone should follow it. They don't imply sin in choosing birth control, they just feel that it is not the right choice for them. Also, they have been very open, almost too open, regarding how God has blessed sexual relationships with in the marriage. I agree that Christian teaching regarding sex is confusing for some people. But, i don't blame the church, I blame society's uncomfortable with their sexuality. It is demeaning to teenagers to "protect them from themselves", I think most teenagers are quite capable of making the right choices. If it wasn't so forbidden it wouldn't be so excititng. I was raised in the church, my husband and i of fourteen years raise our children in the church. I have always made it clear to the kids that sex is a blessing from God and should be enjoyed with your spouse. Just because something feels good does not make it a sin.

      September 4, 2010 at 2:06 pm |
    • Andrew

      @Aaron. Although I am not a bible scholar in that day it was law for a widow's brother in law to conceive with her if he had no spouse of his own. In fact it was probably a law from God since it was a law of the jewish people. So God was probably upset that he wouldn't conceive with her not that he was "spilling [it] on the floor."

      That a widow whose husband died childless must not be married to anyone but her deceased husband's brother (Deut. 25:5)

      there is nothing in all 613 Jewish laws that say spilling seed in order to not conceive breaks a law from God.

      You might say that no one follows Jewish laws anymore especially if they are christian, but that is untrue. If Jesus affirmed any of the old laws then they still apply. He created a new covenant with us and he affirmed every law that we should continue to follow. He then added extra laws we must follow. And no where in the new testament did Jesus every condemn any type of contraceptive.

      September 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm |
    • Aaron

      @JL, You are absolutley right. Isn't that what contraception is? Being selfish, not open to the creation of a new life, not living accroding to God's will?

      September 4, 2010 at 2:57 pm |
    • Carmen

      Yah that would be Catholics. I grew up in the Baptist church and i have never heard that it was sinful to use birth control. The Duggars are just odd

      September 4, 2010 at 5:38 pm |
    • PHIL

      Lots of Christions use birth control ,were not all Catholic ,besides my parents had nine kids five boys then four girls . My dad once said we be surrprised how many of us were unexspected . My mom my dad and all the rest of us enjoyed it very much ,AND APARENTLY SO DID MOM AND DAD. tHERE ARE ALOT OF NIECES AND NEFEWS IN OUR FAMILY.

      September 4, 2010 at 7:33 pm |
    • Andi

      Haven't we finally evolved beyond all of this? Do we really need religion to tell us what to do? Do we still not know right from wrong? Religion is the root of all evil, it makes us different and intolerant and we reap hatred. My partner and I are consenting adults, we decide.

      September 6, 2010 at 8:41 am |
    • Billy

      The Bible says "The marriage bed is not defiled".

      September 6, 2010 at 9:13 am |
    • Steve

      While I agree about the whole guilt thing (at least that was my experience as a kids), I diagree on the proposition that Christians (primarily Catholics) need to change thier position on birth control. Guilt and sex has no basis in christian ideology, its nore about control. Birth control and Christianity do have thier foundation in the ideology. You can't pick and choose which doctrines to follow, or else you'll find your self discarding more and more until you are left with teh ones that are easy for you to follow. I do believe the primary purpose of being against BC is because they need us to have more christian babies. Right now we are being bred out of existence.

      The problem is that teaching "sex is good" even from a married point of view is difficult on a Catholic front becayse our priests are chaiste (we hope). How can they give advice on the joys of a good and health sex life. I am not an advocate for priests marrying, but rather a realist who recognizes this conumdrum.

      September 6, 2010 at 10:03 am |
    • Trish

      I can't stand how the general public thinks all Catholics are weird or crazy like the Duggars. Personally, I think birth control is necessary in a marriage. I'd rather use birth control and have less than about 4 kids who I can give my full attention to and support them financially for things like college. One of the reasons my parents used birth control was because they were from the big Catholic families of the 50s and had to give up the chance to go to a university in exchange for community college or working as a mechanic. As much as I would've loved to have several more siblings, I'm happy they can pay my tuition. Additionally, we spend a lot of our time with my extended family which includes cousins my own age. They might as well be my sisters or brothers. Ever time I see the Duggars on Good Morning America or Today I always wonder how frequently each of them gets to spend time with their parents and develop a relationship with mom and dad.

      Ostensibly, the louder and more extreme Catholics seem to represent the majority of accepting ones. I wish the Church would stop "guilting" people- as the writer in this piece mentioned- and instead understanding or atleast tolerating the many diverse viewpoints.

      September 6, 2010 at 10:39 pm |
    • John Smith

      What the author proposes is an oxymoron. Christianity values in theory are based in love, tolerance and forgiveness. In practice they are based in fear (of Hell), intolerance (of deviating from "normal" or what "Jesus would do") and the only way to be accepted and respected is to become "one of them". So they will never accept the gift of a happy sex life,a s they would see as condoning a liberated sexuality. And we all know Christians Fundamentalists are all about repression.

      September 9, 2010 at 1:17 pm |
  16. trixen

    Christians spoil a lot of things.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:42 pm |
    • Hoeech

      So long as they only spoil it for themselves, I have no problem with that. If they start trying to spoil it for ME, I'll show them what "holy wrath" really is.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:50 pm |
    • Tom

      one at a time Trixen, one at a time.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm |
    • jerry

      hey trixen ya i know we spoil the opportunity of people dying and going to hell.but hey you want to go there go and find out for yourself how terrible it is dont let us spoil everything christians stop you.there is going to be a lot of attitudes in hell wow unreal

      September 3, 2010 at 3:01 pm |
    • Dorie

      Non-Christians spoil much worse dear... MUCH much worse... but that is another topic ...

      September 3, 2010 at 3:01 pm |
      • peace2all

        @Dorie

        Because........ there is an 'expiration' date on said non-christians.. 🙂

        Peace.....

        September 3, 2010 at 3:45 pm |
    • Peter F

      Can we cut it out with the blaming game? Does that ever get us anywhere???

      September 3, 2010 at 3:03 pm |
    • Chizzy

      -Religion- spoils a lot of things, not just Christians.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:05 pm |
      • Bee

        People spoil things for themselves. Greed, vanity, lust for power, a desire for attention...people decide those things are more important than anything else and make decisions accordingly. Religion has nothing to do with it.

        September 3, 2010 at 5:07 pm |
        • peace2all

          @Bee

          Hardly.... Quite often, and maybe almost always, for 'believers'.... their faith or religious beliefs will dictate their state of mind, intentions, emotions and therefore... their actions.

          Peace...

          September 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm |
        • Bee

          So you are saying that people have no control over their actions? That the atrocities or issues that are committed in the name of Religion are not for money, land, power or vanity? You are either very naive or simply a college student who hasn't learned better yet.

          September 4, 2010 at 6:53 am |
        • Bee

          @peace2all Above

          September 4, 2010 at 6:54 am |
        • peace2all

          @Bee

          Your original post: " (People) spoil things for themselves. Greed, vanity, lust for power, a desire for attention.... (People) 'decide' those things are more important than anything else and make decisions accordingly. Religion has nothing to do with it."

          Bee- My response to your post was merely catching what I see as 'overgeneralizing' from a linguistic, psychological, historical, and sociological perspective.

          (People) as you say... operate from their world-view, and make decisions..(since you say...people 'decide' from their world-view/world model or -'values'.

          People, typically, and I am following your line of reasoning... (decide). Therefore, what 'influences' their decisions....? Their 'values' of course. And was quite simply saying that for a 'believer' or a person of faith, those 'values' will, without question influence their thoughts, emotions, (what's most important to them)... and therefore their ....'actions.'

          Ask (pretty much) any 'believer' or hard-core christian as to what their values are, and they will tell you..(just read all of the postings)... against abortion...why..?(because the 'bible' says it is wrong), premarital sex.. why( because the bible or their 'faith'..i.e...religion says it is wrong. Where did they get their sense of right and wrong (morality) to decide... the bible...

          To say that Religion "has absolutely nothing to do with people's decisions" is blatantly false. You need to take a step back and understand what 'influences' (peoples) decisions.

          So, therefore, as far as Religious Atrocities..... certainly a lot has been commited in the name of land, wealth, power, etc..... And, any study of history and religion and sociology will demonstrate that quite a number of atrocities, and some of the ones being commited today, are due to the values and decisions that some people make that Religion and the values that flow from them......influencing their actions.

          To think otherwise, is not in touch with the facts and the dynamic interplay between religious based values and actions and (decisions) that flow from Religious values.

          Sorry Bee, hate to take you to task on this....

          However, just an FYI..... insulting someone and making generalizations about them..i..e....your comment ...." I am either naive, or a college student who hasn't learned yet" .....does nothing to enhance your assertion or help your debate, but makes you look bad. Just some friendly advise....

          As I am neither one of your either or scenarios....

          However...I wish you Peace....

          September 4, 2010 at 11:34 am |
        • Mya

          While the Duggars choices may not be right for everyone, they have valid points on birth control. How many of you know that the major forms of female birth control (with the exception of the female condom and natural planning methods) do not stop always stop conception from happening. The hope is that conception will not happen, but if by chance it does, the hormones in the pill will cause the fertilized egg to not be able to implant and grow and will then be miscarried, even though most do not know that the conception or miscarriage has happened. Just looks like a normal monthly cycle. Statistics show that women on various forms of hormonal birth control ovaluate in a minimum of 50% of the cycles when these birth control forms are supposed to be stopping ovulation all together, and once ovulation has occurred, if conception occurs, the lining becomes an increibly hostile environment, therefore causing a spontaneous abortion. The IUD is just an abortion contraption imbedded right in your own body. So for the Duggars to choose no birth control, they should be commended. They have the means to support all of their children, and they are following their faith to a T. God will only bless us with what he knows we can handle.
          Though I do agree with the many comments that say that it is not even a majority of Christians who think that they cannot have a fufilling sex life, and I am very sorry for those who are unfufilled. Sex between a husband and a wife is a beautiful thing and should be charished and taken care of so that it can flourish!

          September 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm |
        • LB

          Another example which proves "You can't fix Stupid"

          September 8, 2010 at 1:50 pm |
        • Kate (not of 8)

          Yes, what an easy and convenient way to disprove what I said and what Christians know, by insulting my intelligence. I'm now ready to drop all of my faith and believe in your flying saucers and anthropocentric worldview.

          September 10, 2010 at 3:41 pm |
        • jerry

          on the contrary we all have full control of our emotions GOD has given all a free will to choose we ALL have a choice to choose

          September 5, 2010 at 9:32 am |
    • Saint

      Trixen. That wasn't nice. But perhaps I know what you are thinking. Our beliefs come with restrictions to many things in this world. We believe we have to be in this world but not of it. In other words, we set a difference. But where did the author get his information? The Bible says 'the bed is undefiled.' And there's no greater creator of creativity than our God.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
    • chris

      Who says Christian spoil s-ex. O that's right a non-christian. Like he would know. If you actually knew any Christians you be surprised by what they say about there s-ex lives.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
      • Chris

        Just forced to live under the auspices of "good (rabid)Christians" legislating morality. I know quite enough Christians. Was forced to go to church 3 time a week sick or healthy by my god fearing father until I was old enough to be emancipated.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:32 pm |
      • Chris

        Actually the article say it.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm |
      • riverrunner

        Probably half the people here are ex-christians. See exchristian.net and open your eyes.

        September 3, 2010 at 9:27 pm |
        • FingKnowItAll

          "Probably half the people here are ex-christians. See exchristian.net and open your eyes."
          I left the church not over what they preach but over what they do. Inside church gov't I saw lying, stealing, backstabbing, and was encouraged by church heirarchy to do the same. Too much do as I say, not as I do hypocrisy. I now commune with God one-on-one.

          September 4, 2010 at 12:17 am |
        • David

          I commend you for your actions. It's a pity when people take the actions of men to be the essence of a Faith. Bad churches come and go. Bad priests/pastors/etc come and go. But God is eternal. So I'm with you. I don't really care what the church du jour is going on about, what is important is my personal relationship with God and belief in Christ. And that's all I need :). (which isn't to say church can't be a great place for learning and fellowship...you just gotta find the right one for you)

          September 4, 2010 at 12:55 am |
    • Kelly

      These things you say will be shown to you again. We must all give an account for what we say, someday....

      September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
      • Kelly G

        So this gives me proof that the CIA and FBI *are* tapping my phone lines. Damn!

        September 3, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
      • ann

        Amen!

        September 4, 2010 at 10:35 pm |
    • There is No God

      Like what Dorie? We didn't spoil the Crusades. We didn't spoil the inquisitions. We didn't imprison and torture scientists who said that the Earth was round or that the Sun was the center of the solar system until they recanted. We don't conquer other people and then put our holidays on their dates (Christmas and Easter being the main two that were placed on the days of Pagan holidays) to make them submit. We didn't steal Hammurabi's Code and put our name on it so we could say we own morality. Most importantly, we don't spread our beliefs through the tip of a spear. What have people that don't believe spoiled for you? Did we spoil that your narcissistic make believe friend might not be real? Most of us just want you people to leave us and everybody else that doesn't want to be a part of your cult alone and quit cramming it down our throat. WE DO NOT BELIEVE. Billions have died in the name of your God whether you choose to call him Yahweh, Allah, God, Christ, Lord and Savior. It tells you in your book that he drowned the world because he loved you. That has schizophrenic written all over it. How about you read a book on ancient religions of the middle east and research some of those that were around before Christianity and see how similar they sound to what is in the first four books of the New Testament. Read about the Egyptian God Osiris, Mithra, the Chinese myth of Pangu, the Vedic myth of Purusha, Dionysos, and numerous others. The Abrahamic religions just happened to be the ones that survived. Kind of like Earth just happened to be in the right place at the right time to support life.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:33 pm |
      • Andy

        Talk about cramming stuff down people's throat...

        September 3, 2010 at 3:45 pm |
        • Bushpig61

          Andy, that's called foreplay.

          September 3, 2010 at 4:01 pm |
      • I'M RIGHT!!!

        Well guess what....YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! God is real!!! whether you believe it or not. let me tell you, God loves you whether you believe it or not, God loves you whether you believe in hom or not. God loves everyone, believers or unbelievers. and maybe you should read The Bible yourself!!!!! and you might believe– any way im just gunna say, GOD BLESS YOU!!!

        September 3, 2010 at 3:52 pm |
        • Sam Satan

          I've read the bible.....cover to cover....twice. Didn't you know that god and I collaborated on the Book of Job? Such a fun time!

          September 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm |
        • You are right "I'm right"

          the very fact that we have to defend the faith from scurrilous attack is evidence of what the prophets said more than 2000 years ago...not to worry though, read the back of the book–the Lord will have the final say...in the meantime our prayer must be that these stony hearts will be changed...

          September 3, 2010 at 6:07 pm |
        • todd

          but unless you hate gay people, kill women who aren't virgins when they are married, never eat shellfish, never eat meat on Fridays, never wear cotton blends, never do any work on the sabbath, wear your hair neither too long nor too short, then God the merciful will punish you forever.

          Did I miss anything?

          September 3, 2010 at 9:20 pm |
        • ann

          @maybeyourbibleisdifferent

          well put!!!

          September 4, 2010 at 10:38 pm |
        • Thomas

          Christians don't kill anyone? Ever heard of the Crusades? The Salem Witch Trials? The Spanish Inquisition? The "heathen pagans" that were killed anywhere and everywhere from the Romans in Europe to the Spanish in America? And the fact that you people invoke Jesus everytime we go to war with the "godless commies" or the "godless Muslims?" Do a little research.

          September 4, 2010 at 10:51 pm |
        • Brian

          I do not condone the sins you commit especially the ones that you commit out of ignorance and self-righteousness. Erecting Christmas trees, revealing your nakedness, consuming shell fish, – Thus Sayeth the Great Spaghetti Monster!

          September 4, 2010 at 11:56 pm |
        • peace2all

          @Brian

          Nice.....

          Isn't it the ...."(Flying) Spaghetti Monster...?"

          Just askin'

          Peace....

          September 5, 2010 at 2:08 am |
        • Bobby

          That's okay, we're only on this earth for a little while..What the God haters do now is going to nip 'em in the butt later. I just feel kinda bad for their souls. They don't really love and care about themselves too much if they can't respect their own bodies they temporarly have, which really belong to God. All we can do is pray that he forgives them and I'm hoping it is never too late. For those of you who don't believe in God..Do you believe in satan? Ghosts demons etc?? I have seen enough in my past to know they are real. If you never had that experience I sure hope you do..Have you seen the picture of the twin towers with satan's face in the smoke and other demon faces? Take a good look, because those are real..Not touched up or fake. That was a huge sign and warning to us, and satan is really working on decieving a lot of people as of late. Watch how this world has become more and more corrupt over such a short time. Watch the signs of the times of the end..it could be a while yet, only God knows his plan and promise.

          September 5, 2010 at 2:10 am |
        • jerry

          peace ton all ya thats right and its good kool aid too.how are people supposed to know the TRUTH if no one tells them.istead of this washed down wimpish no backbone afraid your going to offenf\d someone gospel.TELL THE TRUTH AND TELL IT LIKE IT IS.DONT WATER IT DOWN

          September 5, 2010 at 9:22 pm |
        • peace2all

          @jerry

          I am not sure I am getting your... point. I am not sure that you are sure what you are saying either...given your posting.

          If you would like to try again, I am ears..! Well, not 'all' ears... but you know what I mean.

          Peace....

          September 6, 2010 at 12:48 am |
        • jerry

          peace to all;my point is this you say i have been drinking that evengelical kool aid and responce is this yes i have been and yes its good kool aid and my other point is why water down something when you do you take away the effectiveness of it.serve it like it is it does its job better that way.its the same as telling people about the truth of the gospel tell it like it is simple as that its not as complicated as some people make it to be

          September 6, 2010 at 8:15 am |
        • William Bergmann

          You flying saucer is ready and waiting.

          September 6, 2010 at 1:56 pm |
      • NAK

        There is A God and his Name is Allah.

        He is the God of all universe and its creations from ants to all the prophets including Jesus, Mohammad and everyone who came before him. it sounds like a good idea based on all the evil that has been done in the name of religion to think that there is no God or think God is evil but blaming God for the evils of mankind is not a good argument to say there is no God.

        September 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm |
        • Sarcasmo

          So Allah is apathetic?

          September 3, 2010 at 4:03 pm |
        • peace2all

          @NAK

          And.... You have offered no proof or evidence that there is a god. Evil or good... either way offers nothing. Does that mean that allah or your god, just doesn't care enough to get involved...?

          Peace...

          September 3, 2010 at 4:21 pm |
        • NAK

          you forget one basic concept one of the things I am sure you also appreciate i.e. Free Will. Humans are given the ability to choose. what you do with your choice is up to you. when humans take decisions there are consequences good or bad. thats why there is religion that is a guide line to promote healthy society and promote well being.

          Also, you want evidence of Allah's existence? open your mind and look around its every where. science is a good tool to figure it out. Read Quran it will be a revealing experience.

          September 4, 2010 at 1:39 pm |
        • Ituri

          Free Will? Absurd. There is NO CHOICE when you take young people and raise them specifically to choose a religion and cult over their mind and freedom. "Give me the child his first seven years, and I'll give you the man." This isn't rocket science. Its the same reason the vast majority of children in the US vote the same political party as their parents.

          September 4, 2010 at 1:53 pm |
        • Daisy

          I think the greatest misconception is that all Christians are crazy cult people. On the subject of religion: It is true that many people are influenced by their parents. That is only natural. Young people can make the decision that their parents are dillusional or they can accept their parents beliefs to some degree or another. I come from at least four generations of pastors. Earlier in my life I made the decision to stray from my roots and let other parts of society have their chance to mold my mind. But I came back. Not because my parents made me or because it was easier. It is not easier. It was because I was accepted more as my crazy self by God and my family of Christians than I ever was by the society who would let me do whatever freedom I wanted. I was never persecuted for my sins but loved for my repentence. On the subject of sex: Any Christian who tells you that the body and sex are ugly and disgraceful are imposters. God created both. To say that either is bad would be to insult God's work. Waiting until marriage is a sacrifice I am willing to make inorder to show my devotion to God. I would be blessed to find a partner who has done the same but I would not cast down the one I love if he had not waited. One can have intimacy without sex. And when you are married the anticipation will have built up to a stupendous mindblowing honeymoon in which you never leave the hotel room. And there is nothing wrong with getting a little kinky if it is not degrading to either of you. Christians, real Christians enjoy sex just as much as anyone else. Extreme religion is not devotion if it denies you the pleasures that God provided. It is the motives of sex that you have to watch out for. As far as birth control goes, The duggar family is crazy. When your kids stop being your kids and become the caretakers of the younger ones, it is time to STOP. I will never have more children than I can hug at once. If you can't afford it or if you can't mentally handle it, then use contraception. God is overjoyed by the intimacy between a husband and wife even if it is not going to result in a kid every time. God would not ask us to stop having sex or to produce an army of children. He just wants our love.

          September 4, 2010 at 3:41 pm |
        • Tim

          Actually your logic is unfounded. We are in a "revolution" time in our culture where very few young people are doing what their parents did. The only thing they are pursuing is their parents wealth and stability albeit they want it way sooner than their parents every had it. Each person is responsible for their own decisions. Unless you believe Skinner and his anthropology which is simply flawed. People do however affect how people view certain values. What seems to be major battle ground is between which value system people should be allowed to pass on...humanism or religious. Many are saying today that you are brain washing your children if you pass on a religiouly motivated value system. But teach your child to love himself more than others and do everything for his own benefit (humanism) and you are somehow letting them be free. Which one has benefited society more? We have yet to see

          September 4, 2010 at 10:29 pm |
        • Lucifer

          There is NO god...so there !

          September 3, 2010 at 6:44 pm |
        • jerry

          hey got a question for you my friend you say there is no god well than show me your proof since your such a self proclaimed expert on the subject.it amazes me unsaved people who have never experienced GODS LOVE never had a relation with JESUS never experienced the presence of GOD in there lives and all of a sudden they are an expert on the subject

          September 5, 2010 at 9:02 am |
        • jerry

          s last comment was dirrected to the man who calls himself lucifer

          September 5, 2010 at 9:05 am |
        • peace2all

          @jerry

          Seems to me the burden of proof (god exists) should be on you fundies.... who are making the claim...?

          Especially experiencing something like 'god's love'.... Please explain... I am an open vessel... 🙂

          Peace.....

          September 5, 2010 at 5:27 pm |
      • sweetwater15

        Amen, brother. Perhaps Christians should critically read the tripe in the Bible and wake up to the 21st century. You are not living in the Dark Ages any more, people.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:10 pm |
      • SW

        Oh yes, Galileo was "tortured" until he recanted. Crack open a history book. Members of the Church may have done some heinous things and I'm not about to defend all of them, but every time you allude to "poor Galileo," you deviate from history and venture into revisionism. Might I suggest historian Giorgio de Santillana. He may not love love Catholics but at least he has scholastic integrity.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
      • Jon

        Another arrogant moron that thinks humans are the highest form of life in the universe...

        September 3, 2010 at 4:13 pm |
        • e

          Maybe we are, maybe we aren't, the truth of the matter is, nobody ****ing really knows.

          September 3, 2010 at 4:18 pm |
      • disagreejb

        Yeah, atheists like Hitler, Stalin and Marx have really shown us that having no religion is the way to go. Call Atheism what you want. What I call it is the worship of oneself.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm |
        • Mike in NYC

          @disagreejb –

          I can't say about Stalin or Marx but I'm fairly confident that Hitler held himself out as a Christian. As a matter of fact – in Mein Kampf he wrote that he opposed state atheism. Hitler often used religious speech and symbolism in his propaganda to promote Nazism. He also used religion as a pretext in diplomacies.

          To the extent he believed in a divinity, Hitler did not believe in a "remote, rationalist divinity" but in an "active deity," which he frequently referred to as "Creator" or "Providence". Hitler described his supposedly divine mandate for his anti-Semitism: "Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord." That doesn't exactly sound like an athiest to me!

          September 3, 2010 at 4:31 pm |
        • Cieje Valentine

          *nods in agreement* And if I'm not mistaken, hitler was Catholic.

          September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
        • CatholicMom

          Do you have any idea how many thousands of priests were killed during the Holocaust? Hitler did not love Catholicism.

          September 3, 2010 at 9:07 pm |
        • todd

          Hitler was catholic. Besides, apparently catholic priests aren't big fans of catholicism, given the number of them who either molest children, or cover up for those who do.

          Yes, that includes your Nazi pope.

          September 3, 2010 at 9:22 pm |
        • abiaggne

          Actually, I'm not a Catholic, but anyone that's done any worthy research knows the Pope was entirely against the Nazi regime. Joining Hitler's youth was a requirement in that area, he had no choice, and it's historical fact that Benedicts father was a loud opponent to Hitler's Nazi army. My, isn't it CRAZY when we actually do our homework?

          September 3, 2010 at 10:01 pm |
        • cadrolls1

          I hate to disagree with you but, I have to remind you that the Vatican helped hundreds of former Nazis escape Germany. This could not have been done if the Pope was against Hitler and Nazism. Italy simply would not have allied itself with Nazi Germany if they thought that the Pope wasn't in agreement.

          September 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm |
        • dalis

          Read the Papal encyclical Mit Brennender Sorge. It's the official condemnation of Nazism.

          September 4, 2010 at 6:28 am |
        • cadrolls1

          That does not matter to me. It's a shame that they lost their lifes but, they belonged to a Church that, for the most part, allied itself with Hitler. At the interim, they should have departed their relationship with the Church if they had misgivens about Hitler. I would have.

          September 4, 2010 at 9:47 pm |
        • Catie

          Thank you !

          September 3, 2010 at 10:39 pm |
        • Kristen

          Joseph Ratzinger's first cousin was killed for having Down Syndrome. After he was forced to join the Hitler Youth, he was transferred to the regular army. And he went AWOL. If he'd been caught, they would have hanged him, but the Americans got him first. That's not the action of a Nazi sympathizer.

          September 4, 2010 at 6:18 am |
        • monique

          Maybe in the beginning but when things really heated up, he believed in some viking norse ancient religion.

          September 4, 2010 at 3:49 am |
        • cadrolls1

          Thousands?

          Would you mind citing a source for that?

          September 3, 2010 at 10:08 pm |
        • dalis

          @ cadrolls Look up the official numbers for Dachau. That's the concentration camp where the Catholic clergy were imprisoned. In fact, I believe it's the only camp where Catholics outnumbered Jews the entire war.

          September 4, 2010 at 6:31 am |
        • stanknasty

          @ MIke NYC, What Hitler claimed and what he actually was are two different things. If I claim that I am a Jew and don't follow anything that Judaism teaches, then does that make me a real Jew. If I claim that I a a Muslim but don't follow any of the tenets of Islam, does that really make me a Muslim. If I claim to be a Buhdist and yet I never follow ny of the tenets of Buhdism, does that make me a Buhddist? If I claim to be a Christian and never follow any of the teachings of Jesus Christ, does that make me a Christian?

          September 3, 2010 at 6:56 pm |
        • cadrolls1

          That is an EXCELLENT reason NOT to be pro-Israel. You hit the nail on the head.

          September 3, 2010 at 7:25 pm |
        • peace2all

          @cadrolls1

          Again, within a 'christian' article, someone using the old..'hit the nail on the head' metaphor. christians are cringing everywhere...

          Peace...

          September 3, 2010 at 7:51 pm |
        • peace2all

          @Kate

          I have seen in several of the 'christian' articles and postings, for whatever reason, an up-tick in the amount of ..."hitting the nail on the head" metaphor. Reminds me of ol' JC getting the nails....

          I know of a few christians in my circle of associates who don't appreciate that metaphor being used... So, of course, I find it just a bit humorous...

          Just chucklin' 🙂

          Peace.....

          September 3, 2010 at 8:05 pm |
        • cadrolls1

          The metaphor: "hitting the nail on the head" has nothing to do with the crucifiction of Jesus. It has been used by Christians and others for centuries. It simply means to be "accurate".

          September 3, 2010 at 10:03 pm |
        • Tz2u

          @peace2all

          Sounds like someone wants to hit a nail on the head. 😛

          September 3, 2010 at 11:33 pm |
        • peace2all

          @Tz2u

          Yep...'Nail on the head'.... Hope that you are well...! 🙂

          Peace....

          September 4, 2010 at 1:34 am |
        • Tz2u

          @peace2all

          You shouldn't have gone to see that Mel Gibson movie. It was meant to traumatize and manipulate.
          Peas and carrots to you. 😛

          September 4, 2010 at 3:54 am |
        • peace2all

          @Tz2u

          Ahhh Tz... We can always count on you bein' so serious and all. Lighten up buddy 🙂

          Yeah the Gibson's movie was a brain stain....

          Peas and Carrots to you as well my friend...

          September 4, 2010 at 4:02 am |
        • Kate

          @Tz2u

          I didn't know Mel Gibson was in Alvin And The Chipmunks

          Just criticin'

          September 4, 2010 at 4:09 am |
        • Reality

          For their Crimes Against Humanity:

          "Robert Ley and Hermann Goering both committed suicide during the trial. Wilhelm Frick, Hans Frank, Ernst Kaltenbrunner, Walther Funk, Fritz Saukel, Alfred Rosenberg, Julius Streicher, Alfred Jodl, Wilhelm Keitel, Arthur Seyss-Inquart, Karl Brandt, Viktor Brack and Joachim von Ribbentrop were found guilty and executed on 16th October, 1946. Rudolf Hess, Erich Raeder, were sentenced to life imprisonment and Albert Speer to 25 years. Karl Doenitz , Walther Funk, Franz von Papen, Alfried Krupp, Friedrich Flick and Constantin von Neurath were also found guilty and sentenced to long terms of imprisonment. At other war crime trials Josef Kramer and Irma Grese were also executed."

          Obviously good Christians knew how to handle fake Christians and their crimes against humanity!!

          September 3, 2010 at 11:47 pm |
        • Ryan

          "My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God's truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice... And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.

          – Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

          yup...certainly sounds what an atheist would "believe"

          September 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm |
        • Ryan

          "My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God's truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice... And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.

          – Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

          nice try trying to pin Hitler onto us. Also, point me to any one of these so-called atheist dictators....and prove to me they killed in the name of atheism

          September 3, 2010 at 4:45 pm |
        • Lola

          You are awesome.

          September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
        • peace2all

          @Ryan

          It doesn't really matter other than for the *truth*... Hitler was a Christian. In his speeches and writings. Period.

          As for 'atheist dictators ki-lling in the name of atheism' .... What the F..?

          Where are you coming from dude....

          Peace to you....

          September 3, 2010 at 5:00 pm |
        • stanknasty

          Communist Atheism has killed more people than all the religions in the world put together. Atheist are the most intollerant people you will ever meet. The most unhappy. I never have seem a hospital constructed in the name of atheism. But we see thousands of hospitals constructed by Christian churches and organizations. These are the facts people- deal with it!

          September 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm |
        • PDXSerric

          Wow you have no concept of history, do you?

          September 3, 2010 at 6:40 pm |
        • TYLER D.

          that is the most absurd statement I have ever read. Its ok to try to support christianity but try again. so many people in our culture think they are supporting something by putting something else down. there are plenty of postive things to say about christianity but hospitals come on. we all know they are for the God of $. and communist medicine is some of the best around check out Cuba.

          September 3, 2010 at 7:28 pm |
        • rh

          Atheists are miserable? Maybe the activist ones are, but the ones like me, who are your neighbors but "don't go to your church" and celebrate holidays so their children will "fit in" but nothing more, are happier than most religious folks.

          Atheism does not equal communism, and Christianity certainly does not equal capitalism. Deism is really the way to go.

          September 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm |
        • stanknasty

          Just because Hitler claimed to be a christian doesn't make him one. If a mouse lives in a cookie jar, does that make it a cookie? If you sleep in your garage, does that make you car? If I claim to be a billionaire, does that make me one? People can say what they want but there needs to be proof. Killing, maiming and destroying human life is not found in the Gospels. A sick and twisted person can say what he/she wants to. Hitler was a monster and there is nothing in the Gospels that condones what he stood for. Jesus said, "love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you." Light years away from the death and destruction Hitler heeped on humanity- yes he is in hell! No murderer can enter the kingdom of God. He was a murderer and I could care less what he said he was. His actions told us the real story.

          September 3, 2010 at 6:45 pm |
        • Biliy2

          Hitler was PAGAN !

          September 3, 2010 at 9:06 pm |
        • db

          You're absolutely right that claiming to be a billionaire doesn't make me one. Just like claiming to be the son of god doesn't make me one, or claiming that the Earth is the center of the universe means that it is, or assuming that "my god is better than your god" means that either exist. There is no god, this is a fact - deal with it. (that's your logic of proof, right?)

          September 3, 2010 at 11:02 pm |
        • Blue

          Hitler reference, everybody takes a drink!

          September 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm |
        • cadrolls1

          Hitler was hardly an Atheist. The Vatican would NOT have supported him if that was the case. After every one of his speeches, Hitler said: "Amen". Italy, a strong Catholic nation, simply would not have allied itself with an Atheist. Another thing: Stalin may have "claimed" to have been an Atheist but, in reality, he exterminated over 30 million Christians and a few Jews too just for good measure. 860,000 of those so-called "Atheists" returned to Israel when they had the chance in the late 1990s.

          Learn to read between the lines.

          September 3, 2010 at 6:41 pm |
        • stanknasty

          How you knuckle headed atheists go from the joy of Christian sex to Hitler is astounding. What twisted freaks you people are. Stalin was atheist. Atheist communism (China, Cuba, USSR ecc.) all murdered Christians and Jews. So much for the religion of peace and tollerance that atheism is. hahahaahaha

          September 3, 2010 at 6:49 pm |
        • ajk68

          The Vatican did not support Hitler. The fact of the matter is that just about every statement against Hitler resulted in retribution against Catholic priests in Germany. The Catholic Church was powerless to oppose Hitler in politics and war; the Church is not a political or military institution. If you go to Wikipedia read about Pius XII and the holocaust. There you will see that the Church didn't even make a statement about the murder of 1.8 million Catholics in Poland. The point: what good would a statement do? It would have only invited further reprisals. The Church did help save a lot of Jewish people. Read the whole section in Wikipedia especially the last few paragraphs of the section.

          September 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm |
      • Sam Satan

        And people say that I'm bad for giving Eve the fruit. Maybe I need a better publicist.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:27 pm |
        • Lucifer

          Hey !! I gave her the fruit...and then some !

          September 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm |
        • Please have a seat over there

          @Lucifer

          Thanks for shedding some light on that for us, Lucifer. May I call you Lucy?

          September 3, 2010 at 11:28 pm |
      • Mike

        There is a God, He created our spirits, and He created this Earth so that we could prove to Him (and ourselves) just what kind of people we want to be: like Him or something less. We might sum up a good chunk of history as the things people have done in the name of God, but that doesn't mean God sanctions it, and it certainly doesn't prove that God doesn't exist. It's just a reflection of our own bad behavior. God does exist, He is our Father, and the day will come when many people are going to have a lot of explaining to do given that, as you have correctly pointed out, that there have been ample sources of good, moral instructions available throughout all the ages of mankind.

        September 3, 2010 at 4:28 pm |
        • capnmike

          What absolute nonsense. This is the kind of baloney people spout who are totally brainwashed.

          September 4, 2010 at 9:21 am |
      • CatholicSeminarianDude

        Its precisely because of all these similarities between ancient religions and new that I went from atheist to a priests wanabee, God is written in the harts of men, which is why (example) even a tribe in the Amazon who has never had contact with western civilization will have some type of rituals that put them 'in contact' with a being outside their natural world. They've never been told "god exists," it’s in their nature to worship! We are all inclined towards God. Once I came to that realization, next step was to test all religions with history, science and logic, to find where it is that the true God is revealed. I found Christianity.

        September 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm |
      • generalizationsarebad

        all of those words and not a single fact.

        September 3, 2010 at 6:59 pm |
      • cadrolls1

        You are prime Zeitgeist material. I mean this as a compliment as I am also a member of their cause. You will find the Venus Project to your liking too, I'm sure. I suggest that you seek out both of these websites.

        Good luck.

        September 3, 2010 at 7:33 pm |
      • TC

        Ok......so......what does all this have to do with me today believing in Jesus Christ? Sure people do bad things. Always have. Always will. I have never crammed anything down anybody's throat nor will I. And just to enlighten you....you mention the similiarities between ancient religions and the first four books of the New Testament......as similiar as those ancient religions may be to Christianity......and I agree there are many similiarities.....the ONE big difference is that they don't include a man named Jesus Christ, who was crucified, died, and was buried, and on the third day rose again in fulfullment of the scriptures, and then ascended into heaven......His kingdom will have no end.

        May God bless your soul, and I hope that one day you open your heart and mind to Him, you and the world will be better for it.

        September 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm |
      • CatholicMom

        We Catholics are not happy about our past sins in history. But that does not mean that we should now sin all the more because it is too late to live differently. Wars are an awful plague and plight on mankind and so should we just keep up with new wars as one war ends? Are we going to never be able to say 'I am sorry' enough about all the fighting and so must keep it up? Does this have to be the subject brought up even if the blog is about something else?

        September 4, 2010 at 3:24 pm |
        • CatholicMom

          post was for ....There Is No God.....

          September 4, 2010 at 3:38 pm |
      • jerry

        you can close your eyes you can say its alie but it doesnt change a thing,i can take you to the hill where they nailed him to the cross i can take you to the empty tomb but the rest is up to you.there is only one god under heaven where which men can be saved and that is thE MAN CHRIST JESUS.one GOD not ten diffgerent gods its not budda its not muhammud its not some greek god they are all false gods that man has made up in there minds

        September 5, 2010 at 8:57 am |
    • ilikewhatibelieve

      Saint, did you mean to misquote? Lots of people do what you have done and take a phrase out of context and distort the meaning. The verse says, "Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." The marriage bed is undefiled.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:47 pm |
    • There is one god

      There is no God- You are truly to be pitied. When you stand before him and he repeats this to you and then says he never knew you either, you are truly to be pitied then

      September 3, 2010 at 3:53 pm |
      • NoGods.

        oh grow up please, its a little to far in your life to have imaginary friends whose wrath you can feel being brought down towards your fellow man isnt it?

        September 3, 2010 at 4:57 pm |
      • stanknasty

        If there is no God, why do you spend all your time trying to prove He doesn't exist. Sounds like a labor in futility.

        September 3, 2010 at 6:34 pm |
      • orangeboy

        This is a lame reply, based as it is on delusions.

        September 3, 2010 at 10:43 pm |
      • capnmike

        Why on earth do you think that somebody who can see the plain truth needs your "pity"? Especially since you apparently base your view of reality on a fairytale. Wake up and learn to THINK!

        September 4, 2010 at 9:28 am |
  17. pete

    I was talking about this earlier today! I was raised to think that "lovin" was bad and dirty. Just like he article says, i think we as Christians try to hard to keep kids from "doin it" before marrige, that we demonize it. It is a beautiful thing.

    I won't lie, i don't want to hear my minister talkin' about it. That does kinda gross me out, but i do think that we could educate our children better about. Not just saying; "don't do it or you will go to hellllll!!!!)

    September 3, 2010 at 2:41 pm |
    • JRauz

      I second, third, and fourth that motion. I grew up in Christendom, and I see the teachings leave many with a void that good love makin should surely fill. And I'm talking marital lovin. Sheet Music is a good book to address this issue, may be too edgy for some though. God created lovin for a reason, its fun, satisfying and everyone can enjoy it because it's free!!!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:07 pm |
    • NYbywayofTexas

      If one demonizes something long enough, generally it becomes secretive, and ignorance about it purveys. This can lead to dangerous consequences. Sex, when in context of marriage as God has created is a wonderful and beautiful thing. I have had the priviledge of marriage for 11 short years and the intimacy I share with my partner is like no other. (Mind-blowing). However, we chose to abstain while we were courting. When we were engaged, we prayed every night or day that we spoke or saw one another. Yes, there were some close calls but, we were determine to honor God in our commitment. Our honeymoon was nothing less than dynamite and every time we consummate our relationship it is wonderful. I understand purity and chasteness however, it can be taken so far out of context as to what God has created. If we really trusted God like we are suppose to, we be alright with waiting. While waiting to marry my wife, I would repeat and stand on the promise of God. One in particular... And He shall supply ALL my needs according to His riches in Glory by Christ Jesus.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm |
    • Mark

      So if it is so bad, show me, and I do mean precisely, in the bible where this is stated? I can't find and I am left to conclude it is interpreted by the Church or Ministers because THEY have a problem with sex.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:14 pm |
    • Maria

      Same here. I grew up in a Christian home and was told it was bad and dirty and wrong. My parents never told me it was something beautiful that a husband and wife share. I was messed up in that area for a long time because of it. I'm over it now though 😛

      September 3, 2010 at 4:44 pm |
    • Sarah

      I read Sheet Music as well, and it did a great job of making sex something not dirty, but beautiful.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:02 pm |
    • jos

      Where's this writer been for the last decade or so? All I've heard from evangelical pastors is about hot activity on the marriage bed. It's,like, obnoxious! Just google christian books on it. I love doing it with hubs, but I loathe talking about it and being preached to about it. It can actually become this forced, artificial, legalistic issue. Just do it and shut up about it!

      September 3, 2010 at 6:36 pm |
    • Misty Marie

      I agree with Pete. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian home and this article rings a bell with me. I was taught everything was wrong with pre-marital sex; I was taught that I "didn't need a man" to be happy; my mother, especially, gave me nothing to look forward to when I married, and I went into marriage believing that sex was a "duty" part of marriage, not a free and enjoyable one. I was also messed up about marital sex for a long time – and probably still am. My marriage failed after 35 years, and I'm sure my attitude about sex played a part in that.

      September 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm |
    • Mike

      I actually teach my christian children about it in a good way. My daughter is 7 and I have already started talking to her about it.
      I did not get into details about it of course, not yet. She is too little. Here is what I have said.

      Dad: "Honey, have you heard the word sex, or sexy?"
      Daughter: "yes".
      Dad " Do you know what it is ? ".
      Daughter: "No".
      Dad "when you hear it what do you think they are talking about?"
      Daughter "sexy, to look good or something"
      Dad: "Well honey I'm going to talk to you about sex okay. First I want you to know, that it's not bad, God created it okay, and if you ever want to learn more about it or talk about at all, like we are doing now, feel free to ask and talk to me or mommy about it. Don't be afraid its not a bad thing okay. God wants us to find someone to love and marry so that you can share that very special thing with okay mommy, it's a very very special thing that is for someone that you will love for the rest of your life. Now honey just remember that you and daddy have had the sex talk okay and we will always talk about it because its a good thing. Now there are always bad people, and you know this and they can make a good thing bad, that does not mean that God made it bad okay, i love you mommy."
      Daughter: "Ok, Thanks Daddy".

      September 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm |
    • reck0ner

      1st:If you've have intercourse before a marriage ceromony don't believe you've sinned: it is a big lie! intercourse is the marriage act "period" not some multicultural ritual humans now use to preemptively celebrate love/intercourse between a man&woman. GOD doesn't need your priest, your rabbi or you ritual to recongnize two people performing the "act of marriage" Now that the horse is before the cart:2nd:If you've had multiple "s-ually" intimate relationships than you've sinned/committed adultery; by breaking the 1st "marriage act" you engaged in with another and than another!?!OMG!?!, etc.(unless your partners keep dying)however if GOD hasn't joined you with a mate/given you a child from these unions(children are from Heaven)than your not in BIG BIG trouble "per se"(St.Matt19:6) but you are in BIG trouble, so don't keep committing adultery/sleeping around; repent, stop using birth control and ask GOD to marry you&the mate your currently with via ritual or no ritual(St.Matt18:19) or remain celibate pray&fast until you've receive futher notice(FYI-just because the person GOD has given you kids with commits adultery, doesn't mean you can go get remarried/committed adultery like them: read 1Cor.7:11)(FYI-if you can't have kids naturally than adopt "orphan(s)" instead of engaging in a science experiment: read St.Matt.18:5)3rd: this was a nice article

      September 3, 2010 at 8:55 pm |
    • sam

      To reck0ner – you had an excellent point although slightly not complete, but still an excellent one and impressive. Thank you for sharing. For your answer, I offer you my books to read for free on the subject (I have 2). I have reached both conclusion somewhat a little similar to what you wrote from both logic and science and also from Biblical. I reached a theory I named Samer Genetic Code Theory. So search for that theory on Google and contact me for free books if you find the review of interest to you.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:32 pm |
    • ikantraed

      ok, you want to know what is worse.. covering your new bride in a sheet with a hole cut so you can have sex with your wife...

      September 3, 2010 at 9:33 pm |
    • Star

      Never really had a problem in this department . My parents were always very affectionate with each other and towards us. My dad was also very open with us about it, now my wife calls me an animal in bed. Sex is a part of Gods plan for marriage and as with all gifts from above it should be enjoyed.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:41 pm |
    • Antonio

      It is clear that most readers here are completely ignorant of Pope John Paul II's contribution to the discussion about Christianity and sex. Perhaps even CNN's contributing writers don't know about this. Well, it's worth another look. Pick up The Theology of the Body. Healthy Christians do not make an enemy of sex. On the other hand, the reason that 9 out of 10 books by Christians are about chastity is by way of admonition: because promiscuity and hook-up culture are such a big problem in our time and place.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:46 pm |
    • James

      Sounds like the writer (and quite a few others that have posted) went to the wrong church. I'm a Christian and I have awesome sex with my wife. I was never taught guilt about pre-marital sex, simply what God comanded. My choice whether to follow his will or not. God wants my wife and I to enjoy each other and we do. Sorry so many of you didn't bother to pick-up The Word for yourselves and read it, but instead chose to follow someone else's interpretation. Hopefully you will not continue to make that mistake.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:46 pm |
    • Bruce

      Organized religion, especially the evangelicals and fundamentalists, have done a REALLY BAD JOB of addressing sexual issues. They use the pathetic phrase "sex is a beautiful thing" but then totally avoid the need for young people to receive education and training – yes training – on sex etiquette, positions, and how to enjoy hot sex as God intended for us (otherwise God wouldn't have made us the way we are).

      September 3, 2010 at 10:13 pm |
    • Thomas Clay

      Sex is awesome & the best between a married man & female. After 25 years of marriage it is only getting better. I feel sorry for everyone else.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm |
    • TW

      I was raised a Christian, and am raising my children (ages 9 & 11) in the faith as well. While we talk about the importance of waiting until marriage to have sex (realizing that's an ideal world–and rarely happens), we certainly don't "demonize" or try to "guilt" our kids into waiting. We talk openly about sex and birth control, STDs, teen pregnancy, etc., and will answer any questions the kids ask.

      OH-my Hubby and I have an active, fun, playful, loving, and completely erotic sex life. We were raised to believe sex is a GIFT from God. We try to utilize that gift to the very best of our ability! 🙂

      (In other words: don't assume all Christians buy into the far right-wing threats & fear-mongering.)

      September 3, 2010 at 10:28 pm |
    • Niwotmom

      @ReckOner-I have to disagree with you on your statement that intercourse, before marriage is not a sin. I'm a Catholic, and in the eyes of God, to have sex before marriage, IS a sin, a grave sin.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:40 pm |
    • Catie

      Pete, oh my, just read Song of Solomon, I blush over some of it. Christianity frowns upon deviancy not a healthy sex life.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:42 pm |
    • Scott Woodward

      Just another dig and hate comment towards Christians, you would never mention Muslims and how they dominate and rape their wives.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:57 pm |
    • smtwnguy

      I infact know lots of Christians are having HOT sex.it just isan`t with their wives!!!i I can name quite a few fine up standing citizens who have made it a point to rely to us just how ,holier than thou they are,lets see Sen,Vitter,wash madam,Sen Ensin,I love my campaing staff,literally,old sex pot stud Newt Ginrich9 (haven`t figured that one out yet,he must look cute getting on and off,picture that)!!!! and of course can`t forget 'excuse me,I need to go to the rest room" Sen,Craigh.
      So I say to my fellow Christian we are lagging behind and need to bone up on our sexual skills,would -hang from a chandalier count ? if not lets try that Bill O`Reilly lets talk dirty phone thing ! Have fun one and all !

      September 3, 2010 at 10:59 pm |
    • Scott

      Does anyone think that CNN would ever write about how Muslim men treat their women and talk about how their sex lives are?

      September 3, 2010 at 11:02 pm |
    • jc

      I believe Mr. John Blake is totally misinformed about the topic under Christian views. It is probably not even worth ague over the issue for in reality Christians, in general, and Catholics in particular are able to see in the human body and its sexual expression wonderful things that other people have not or are unable to see.

      September 3, 2010 at 11:14 pm |
    • Moe

      Sex was invented by God and is very beautiful and very satisfying for married couples. People need to stop labeling all Christians as spoiling sex because it is only select people. I believe this is a personal bias and not the norm for most Christians. If you really talk to "Real Christians," you will get the truth you will see that every aspect of our lives (especially sex) is blessed and highly favored. Where are people getting this horrible information from these days and where are the "True Christians?"

      September 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm |
    • michael

      once said I have all the sex i want -are need and it is not spoiled for me ,and im a Christian it's you that have mental problems. See i have a wife and with my wife all things are good –to go –no problem not spoilded! you must be doing it wrong if you need help with sex try finding a wife and doing it right for a change! once said

      September 3, 2010 at 11:18 pm |
    • matt

      And CNN wonders why their ratings keep spiraling down month after month. The journalistic integrity at CNN is almost non-existant and the blatant cheap shots at Christianity is getting old fast.

      September 3, 2010 at 11:34 pm |
    • Monty

      I'm with you on that one. Growing up it was all about how you need to obstain from sex before your married and what sex is but that is it and we are tought how marrage is this whole ordeal of planing and flowers and a dress and a reception and all this stuff but what about spiritual marrage. My gf and I didn't wait until we are getting married but the first time we had sex it was like our souls became one and it was the most beautiful thing ever and from that moment on we both knew we are going to get married one of these days.

      September 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm |
    • Virginia

      My husband, a pastor, preached a series on Song of Solomon which tastefully and beautifully depicted sex as God's idea after all–as for hot sex, we may not talk about it, but we got it!

      September 3, 2010 at 11:55 pm |
    • stanknasty

      I don't understand some of these people that tell one group not to use contraceptives because before 1930 no one used them... yeah no one used them before because the pill wasn't invented probably. I use them in my marriage (or should I say my wife uses the pill) so what? Where is the sin? This is what happens when people push their personal interpretation of the Bible on other people. Let God's word speak for itself. Contraceptives are not mentioned anyway. God gave us a brain...we decide how many children we want, children are a blessing but I don't want 20 of them because not only will it kill us emotionally and financially it's not fair to the kids...

      September 4, 2010 at 12:05 am |
    • Chad

      Anyone who found this brief news story interesting should check out Mark Gungor's website and his marriage seminars (laugh your way to a better marriage– or laughyourway dot com). He does a lot to debunk the stereotype of the prude Christian, and even better, he explains why a good Christian marriage leads to other really good things. I'll let Gungor explain it!

      September 4, 2010 at 1:00 am |
    • Jesus

      i support absitince and sex in the christan life is still fun, why does your population keep thinking sex is the satisfication of the world.. i am quite annoyed by your thinking and think you should be more responsible for you action. sex is not life, life is what i give you to bear fruit and labor. Life will go on withought having sex all the time. I suppport chirstianity..
      Jesus 🙂

      September 4, 2010 at 1:28 am |
    • John

      You know it's hard to stay neutral when Christians get accused of spoiling sex. The heathen in the world are the ones who have spoiled it by turning marriage and relationships into nothing more than superficial meaningless hormone based relationships and sex. The world (unbelievers) doesn't understand what spiritual relationships are. There is so much more to marriage than just sex......so I've been told. Perhaps our perception of what sex should be is wrong, which is why we have trouble defining boundaries for others.

      As for sex before marriage, the only way you can demonize it is by saying that it's okay, perhaps even taking some example from the bible completely out of context to justify that position. The solution is that salvation through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ brings the instruction of what a correct biblical relationship is for Christians to have. Christ condemns sin in the flesh, but also forgives every sin when an unbeliever repents and comes to trust in his death on the cross for their sin. Those who say they believe in Jesus Christ and that sex before marriage condemns one to hell aren't biblically correct in doing so. While the act of sex before marriage may indicate that an individual is not fully sealed by the Holy Spirit, it doesn't prevent the person from repenting of their sin, confessing it, and continuing their relationship with the Lord Jesus.

      As for sex during marriage, it's not a gift biblically speaking, but is part of the marriage covenant, that two shall be one flesh. It's an expression of love, and no it's not the erotic desire the Greeks expressed fequently outside of marriage during the Roman Empire. Christian love is almost always Agape or Phleo toward ones spouse. Remember, trying to make your Christian marriage with your spouse relfect what the Lord wants is fine, just be sure not to make your relationship with your wife what the world wants.

      September 4, 2010 at 2:03 am |
    • Hhinson

      This is where the church fails its congregation, ESPECIALLY the kids. Some pastors counsel parents not to tell their kids about sex and birth control, because that's "silently condoning it." BULL! If you don't talk to your kids about sex, someone else might...and in a sinister way.

      People are told, "Wait until your married" and they gush about what a marvelous gift you're giving your spouse. No counseling is given to those who DO wait about what to expect, much less how to make it enjoyable. Generations of women have lain in their wedding beds, sore and bleeding, and wondered, "I saved myself for THIS?" as a result. Generations of grooms have been mortified because they couldn't perform (which is not unusual for guys the first time). Thanks a lot, Reverend Premarital Counselor.

      Sure it's a great thing to wait. Sure you're giving your beloved a gift....but the reality is that it isn't that much fun the first time, it hurts women, and it's something that DEFINITELY will improve with practice. It's a special thing that you share only with your spouse.

      Get with it, churches. You are failing in your mission when you don't tell your people about the joys of loving your wife/husband as God intended. Sex aint' dirty. God made it, didn't He?

      September 4, 2010 at 2:43 am |
    • Ishmael

      test

      September 4, 2010 at 2:47 am |
    • Ishmael

      Spirit over flesh. That is the answer that you seek. I will not say Christians, but I will say people of faith who understand what it means to be "Of Faith" realize that a follower of God and of Christ, seeks to walk not by the flesh but by the spirit. The teachings inspire women to give themselves to their husbands but that is not the greatest need for a follower. The man who seeks satisfy the flesh seeks "great sex" in the form of what he sees in "explicit adult films", but a man who seeks to satisfy the spirit, instead uses the act of sex to embellish and ornament romance.

      September 4, 2010 at 2:54 am |
    • Tola

      The claims that Christianity spoils sex is outrageous. First of sex is between married couples. Now, "married" I mean Man and Woman. Any other consenting sex is sin. However when you marry as a Christian it gives you the license to have sex. You can have sex in the morning, night, afternoon it does not matter. One good thing is that the Bible does not restrict oral or sexual position. Just do what pleases and excite you spouse. Moreover, the process of orgasm is an expression of deep love and sexual satisfaction. Even the Bible urges you to take a year of when you marry to be with your spouse. Obviously when you take a year off you cannot be looking at your wife all year long. The only problem is that when we try to define our own morality. The reason why God in his wisdom created sex is for us to enjoy it. Think about this thing Mr Blake

      September 4, 2010 at 3:06 am |
    • Tola

      Pete I don't agree with you. You have to be emotionally ready to have sex. That is why we have so many damaged people around cause they pervert this God given gift. I recommend you read this book Secret Choices by ED Wheat and Gloria Perkins. Also give your pastor or study group. Having sex is not the demon or hell bound ticket. It's having sex outside marriage that is wrong.

      September 4, 2010 at 3:14 am |
    • Paul

      Hate to say it but if you are Christian and you like sex you are probably going to hell...

      September 4, 2010 at 3:20 am |
    • Kevin M

      Christianity doesn't support sex? Well, maybe not acccording to the doctrines of the church...but try looking at the source (the bible – and specifically the old Jewish part known as the Tanakh, or Old Testament). I have three words for you – Song of Soloman.

      September 4, 2010 at 3:21 am |
    • reck0ner

      Yes, yes... stanknasty... i can understand why someone like yourself would be confused about birth-control, howbeit if your a godly person, read the bible to know The Way & The Truth of The Light JESUS CHRIST; yes there were crude forms of birth control being practiced by selfish humans before the manifestation of The CHRIST(if they weren't selfish than what were they than in the years B.C.? and what are they now in these years A.D.? trying to advoid the key responsibilties of those who engage in "the act of marriage") try studying what happened to Judah's naughty son Onan in the old testament book of genesis chapter:38 verse:9-10... among others... in the KJV of the bible... some people do & are interpreting The Truth in the bible the wrong way but you die at your own cost putting your trust in just any human... therein lays the beauty of the relationship between a man & woman who lost their virginity to each other and remain with each other through thick and thin even after the death consumed the flesh of one or both of them... in Heaven The Angels of GOD neither marry, nor are given in marriage but those that are married/joined together by GOD via children born "naturally" on earth(St.Matt.18:5) will remain married... for The Word of GOD cannot be broken(St.Matt.19:6) nor fail... so Heaven isn't as hum drum as some souls think nevertheless choose you this day whom ye will serve in spirit and in truth(St.John4:23-24)

      September 4, 2010 at 4:02 am |
    • Omar

      This truly is a Christian problem. As a Muslim, my religion (Islam) teaches that sex is a gift to be enjoyed by BOTH husband and wife in order to create a loving relationship. Nothing wrong with enjoying sex with your spouse. Sad that my Christian friends feel this way.

      September 4, 2010 at 4:32 am |
    • herenow

      it won't do you any good to with pleasure from yourself. It makes you a person who is disconnected from other humans.

      September 4, 2010 at 4:57 am |
    • jtzechs

      i don't know why he's (the writer) making this an issue. isn't this too personal? you should just do it and keep your mouth shut! you don't know every christians...some are experienced and some are not so we can't just generally accuse everybody of spoiling that. i partly agree but we should also look at the bigger picture. just like the worldly people...some are experienced and some are not...let's not create a non-sense issue here just to gather several readers...who knows? maybe christian couple make a lot more lovin' than the others.....
      .

      September 4, 2010 at 5:04 am |
    • reck0ner

      hey sam, i am glad you understand where i'm coming from... although i subscribe to some of the ideas held in the main-stream christian's understanding of day-age creationism, GOD'S Word is The Law i compare every subsequent theory or explanation that arises... like say for instance the Truth of telegony which is also talked about in genesis 38:8-10? but modern science/understanding has since ruled out the truth of telegony but i a lowly acadian, have seen it proved hundreds of times in the bible and in these ordinary times! while the modern scientist are still scratching their heads over "sexual cannibalism" (FYI-telegony begins: when a person first kisses/exchanges any biological materials with their mate, both their bodies assimilate all things in the various exchanges they make and over-time adjusts to one-another physically/genitically; that's why love remains a drug thats the high without the pill)(FYI-sexual cannibalism occurs because the female doesn't want the male to mate successfully again, because his other progeny will compete with hers, howbeit GOD'S Word is The LAW genesis 21:9-13) (BTW-i couldn't find anything inregards to "same genetic code theory" but coevolution?)

      September 4, 2010 at 5:23 am |
    • reck0ner

      hey sam, i am glad you understand where i'm coming from... although i subscribe to some of the ideas held in the main-stream christian's understanding of day-age creationism, GOD'S Word is The Law i compare every subsequent theory or explanation that arises... like say for instance the Truth of telegony which is also talked about in genesis 38:8-10? but modern science/understanding has since ruled out the truth of telegony but i a lowly acadian, have seen it proved hundreds of times in the bible and in these ordinary times! while the modern scientist are still scratching their heads over "s" xual c-a-n-n-i-b-a-l-i-s-m (FYI-telegony begins: when a person first kisses/exchanges any biological materials with their mate, both their bodies assimilate all things in the various exchanges they make and over-time adjusts to one-another physically/genitically; that's why love remains a drug thats the high without the pill)(FYI- "s" xual c-a-n-n-i-b-a-l-i-s-m occurs because the female doesn't want the male to mate successfully again, because his other progeny will compete with hers, howbeit GOD'S Word is The LAW genesis 21:9-13) (BTW-i couldn't find anything inregards to "same genetic code theory" but coevolution?)

      September 4, 2010 at 5:28 am |
    • reck0ner

      1st:If you've have intercourse before a marriage ceromony don't believe you've sinned: it is a big lie! intercourse is the marriage act "period" not some multicultural ritual humans now use to preemptively celebrate love/intercourse between a man&woman. GOD doesn't need your priest, your rabbi or your ritual to recongnize two people performing the "act of marriage" Now that the horse is before the cart:2nd:If you've had multiple "s-ually" intimate relationships than you've sinned/committed adultery; by breaking the 1st "marriage act" you engaged in with another and than another!?!OMG!?!, etc.(unless the mates R passing away)however if GOD hasn't joined you with a mate/given you a child from these unions(children are from Heaven)than your not in BIG BIG trouble "per se"(St.Matt19:6) but you are in BIG trouble, so don't keep committing adultery/sleeping around; repent, stop using birth control and ask GOD to marry you&the mate your currently with via ritual or no ritual(St.Matt18:19) or remain celibate pray&fast until you've receive futher notice(FYI-just because the person GOD has given you kids with commits adultery, doesn't mean you can go get remarried/commit adultery like them: read 1Cor.7:11)(FYI-if you can't have kids naturally than adopt "orphan(s)" instead of engaging in a science experiment: read St.Matt.18:5)3rd: this was a nice article:-)

      September 4, 2010 at 5:37 am |
    • Cliff

      I have been a Christian for my adult life and have never heard a message downplaying sex in marriage, of course for those who are not married it is a different story. As an earlier reply said, I do not want to hear my pastor talk about sex I like Nikes sales pitch "Just do it". It is a great thing and that is how God planned it, we as people have perverted it along with everything else. So be true to God and your spouse and have fun.

      September 4, 2010 at 5:53 am |
    • makeamyday

      Our pastor has stood on the pulpit and said God wants us to have orgasms. It's afundementally oriented church. I didn't need a pastor to tell me that. We're born again married for almost twenty-five years with four grown up children and we decided long ago that we were going practice using all of God's gifts to the fullest. We aren't prude. What goes on between a man and his wife is between them anyway. Nobody exept ourselves and God know how we express our loving and intimacy. And I can stand before God with a prefect concience. Believers that stand on their soap-box and make a big deal out of the human sexuality and broadcast taboos are for us taboo. Our children are all single, none are pregnant, or single parents or have had any difficulties with this subject because it was never a taboo issue in our home. We never even temped them with such nonesense. And believe me I've been a street preacher, a worship leader and sunday school teacher.

      September 4, 2010 at 6:10 am |
    • lau

      Sex is a blessing from God if is within marriage;
      Se Genesis from Bible;
      Sex is condamned if is outside of merriage;
      A blessing for cuple to have sex – if they are married; if not is a curse from God;
      So not having sex is someting wrong with that person; or have sex with tha same gen(like gay lesbien) that is blasfemie ;
      God codamned the sex outside of merriage or with the same gen is considering a curse and blasfemy is disonoring the God;
      But having sex within the marriage is a blessing ; that is the way that God is transmiting to us from the Bible

      September 4, 2010 at 6:45 am |
    • Doug

      You guys are so far off. Christians are taught that pre maritial sex is wrong and same gender sex is wrong, but they are also taught that the marriage bed is undefiled. It's in the bible. Sex between a married man and woman can be as wild and crazy as they desire by christian teaching.

      September 4, 2010 at 7:28 am |
    • ANNY

      jejejeje!!! well God most definetly created sex so man and woman could stand each other, much better....and even though some "denominations"(demonations) have twisted the word of God to meet their needs...jus trust in the Lord bcuz he tells the truth...always....

      September 4, 2010 at 7:35 am |
    • Aaron

      I agree. Kids aren't educated enough about it. Teaching abstinence is very acceptable, but we need to go further. Just telling our kids "Don't do it," and leaving it at that doesn't solve one of our biggest problems. That is, if they do decide to "do it", they don't know what they are getting themselves into because they weren't properly taught about it. Thus, all the teenage pregnancies.

      September 4, 2010 at 7:36 am |
    • Jerry Z

      Of course Christians want us to think that sex is bad. Their own savior, Jesus Christ, was presumably born of a virgin! Why? They're told from day one that sex, even within marriage, is somehow not clean, or else why would they have come up with such an idiotic story!

      God somehow produced Adam out of nothing, yet, to produce his "son", he had to impregnate a woman without the biological imperative of sperm!

      It's all part of the same thing. Christians need to feel guilty about everything they do, in order to keep the myth alive that by worshiping God, they'll be absolved of it all. Even the act of simple procreation, without which there would be no humans, has been cast as dirty.

      Brilliant!

      September 4, 2010 at 7:57 am |
    • methinksalot

      And a great big Same Here!! My mom was rather medieval in her catholic beliefs and passed that one to us kids. My dad was shy and catholic and didn't want to address it at all. Sooo, between the two I was educated (if one could call it that) to believe: Sex was only necessary for procreation, it was a DUTY that the wife "submit" to the husband," and that is was dirty beyond all comprehension. ugghhh! And then having to listen to a "priest" prattle on about the marriage bed was torturous and demoralizing and confusing. Wait! How would a priest know what's best for a husband and wife in their lovemaking? I asked that question at 17 yrs. old and got smacked for my efforts. Left me with some awesome issues to work through in therapy. I'm no longer a catholic (for this and many other reasons) and I am fine with that decision, as it allowed me to explore my sexuality within the confines of a marriage and a very long- term relationship. Sex is a fundamental part of human nature, and it should be taught that it is NOT dirty...it's those who try to control us within christianity that want us to believe that it is so we abstain before marriage. Problem is, we never learn that it really is okay within marriage or a committed relationship...we are still going to hell for liking it at all. Very said!!

      September 4, 2010 at 8:48 am |
    • Shane

      I guess this the future of journalism is here . . . print what the people want, or you think they want. Some days though I really miss tuning into a news program and without being yelled at, and/or opening my morning paper and seeing what is happening in the world. Some days anyway. Right now I'm watching HBO and have cancelled my newspaper. Guess I'll grab my iphone and play some games.

      Oh, a comment about the article . . . I'm sorta, kinda getting tired of "news" (almost daily) concerning Christians and what is wrong with being one. I'm not the most religious guy in the world, but from Anne Rice to Hawkings, you see anti-Christian "news" on here most days.

      I used to turn to CNN for the news, the real news – not MSNBC or Fox type news, but real journalism. If you are going to print this, where are the positive stories about how belief helped a drug addict overcome addiction or how a church helped a single mother whose job was lost?

      Now let me get back to Madden 11.

      September 4, 2010 at 8:54 am |
    • crystalclear34

      I have been married for 7 years. Hubby and I have a great bedroom life, however I wanted to add that the closeness isn't just for the bedroom. I think the after affects of having a healthy sex life carry over to a closer relationship, or maybe that's just in our relationship. For my grandparents, they were married over 60 years and had a large family. They weren't shy about holding hands in public or sneaking a little smooch. It was cute. Everyone knew that even after 60 years they were still deeply in love. When grandma was passing away, grandpa would still give her a little smooch on the cheek and talk to her, it just showed the level of intimacy and closeness they shared their whole lives. They were devout Christians and grew up in an era when sex really wasn't supposed to be talked about in public. Yet I think they shared something deeper and had a very satisfying life in that way. My husband and I are believers and like I said we have a very happy life in and out of the bedroom. As a Christian lady, I have no problems seeing myself as a vibrant, hot blooded woman. I am beautiful ( well to my husband and to me anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder 🙂 right) I don't think sex is sinful or should induce guilt, I also do not think a naked body is sinful. There is nothing wrong with married couples exploring each other. Enough said! heat it up guys! peace!

      September 4, 2010 at 8:55 am |
    • andrew lim

      I was raised christian and we are ethnic chinese. I was 12 when my older brother age 30 talked to me about sex. 3 years later my father at a private moment asked to talk to me about the subject... I replied big brother has done the job.

      Then it was books, medical school, I married a virgin undeservedly. We've been married 29 yrs and have attended many marriage and family conferences as a couple as also as a family. We are growing still. Menopause, hormones, raising girls who are now in college makes sex complicated.

      Song of Solomon has been the text used by the presenters. Man it's beautiful and passionate. Coupled with Ecclesiastes: Christians studying the bible and within a marriage have the freedom to enjoy the most fulfilling and metaphorically have the ultimate physical and emotional and spiritual modelling of what God intended for us.

      Of course if there are medical barriers, Consult your physician. My pastor is a patient and there are no taboo subjects.

      Sex is so great for my wife and I that my ribs hurt. Must be the unpaired one. NOT!! joking...

      September 4, 2010 at 9:24 am |
    • George

      I am perplexed by these broad statements of Christianity as if it is one religion. I am deeply religious an grew up in a Christian home, but was taught (and my religion teaches the same) that sex is a wonderful expression of love between two married individuals. Having been married for 13 years, I still find that to be a consistent message between religion and life experience.

      September 4, 2010 at 9:29 am |
    • andrew lim

      Song of Solomom coupled with Ecclesiastes gives christians the greatest legacy towards the metaphor of the 2 shall become one. Growing christians in a marriage have the tools to have such a great UNION in many dimensions.

      If there are medical problems, seek medical help.

      September 4, 2010 at 9:34 am |
    • Lauren

      If you are afraid to hear your pastor talk about sex chances are you are afraid to have "the talk" with your children. Sex is not weird- and I think it is so strange that no one wants to talk about sex. Sex is what makes fourteen year old girls have babies. Maybe sex shouldn't be such a taboo. Wouldn't you rather it be out in the open? That is why kids sneak around because your afraid of sex, and the thought that your minister would even bring up sex in a sermon.
      You're right we just can't say don't have sex, because that isn't working. No one wants to take responsibility.

      September 4, 2010 at 9:36 am |
    • CatholicMom

      Aaron,

      People need to see the history of STD's to see how God's Way is the only way. The charts may help teenagers get the picture....

      September 4, 2010 at 9:52 am |
    • Mike

      If there is a teenager who has NOT seen a chart of STDs or information about the dangers of STDs, I would be amazed. For more teenage boys, the risk is worth it. Giving more information on STDs is not the answer.

      September 4, 2010 at 10:03 am |
    • Wolf69

      Christians spoil sex? I would argue they spoil most things.

      September 4, 2010 at 10:10 am |
    • friendofthefamily

      I'm not sure what churches you've been going to and I'm in agreement that many churches get it wrong but I've been taught my entire life that sex in marriage can be inventive, wonderful and fun. I have been taught that in church for quite some time. Personally, the premise of this article is all wrong. Good churches haven't been teaching black-and-white sex nor do they publish 10 books on lust for every one about love. The non-churched often get a mistaken idea about Christian love, fidelity and intimacy and connote things that aren't true. I'm wondering what motivated the author of this article to write with such an assumption that Christian sex equals boring. That's NEVER been my experience – and all the while it's been monogomous. I hope other believers can report the same. Be blessed!

      September 4, 2010 at 10:18 am |
    • S.H.

      Well, my husband and I are atheists – so naturally, we come to this from an entirely different angle.

      Christians are terribly uncomfortable with the idea of sex, PERIOD. After all, their very lives revolve around a story that combines the obvious result of sex with the "miracle" of NO sex: a virgin birth. As we know now, birth doesn't result from a magical being visiting a woman in her sleep. It results from human semen being introduced (a friendly handshake, as it were) to a human ovum. Male genetic material + female genetic material = a human infant.

      It seems to me that fear is the real basis of religion – fear of life, fear of death, fear of earthly emotions. The myth religionists believe is all about being immortal, being "virginal", "clean", unblemished. Being human is a dirty proposition. It's messy, emotional, risky, ambivilent, and hard to control . . . in other words, things that hit Christians in all the wrong places. And nothing is more HUMAN and visceral than sex, right? So, they would rather pretend it's bland and unemotional. Oh, and "good girls" can't enjoy it, of course. If she did, she might become promiscuous – and we can't have THAT, can we? For her, it should only be a marital duty – an obligation out of which children are born. Sex because she likes it? GOD, NO!!!

      Of course, there are perfectly valid evolutionary reasons for sex and the enjoyment of sex. But religion would rather we deny those reasons and base our attitudes on a ludicrous myth that makes ZERO SENSE and leads only to dysfunction.

      Sex is dirty and underground for most religionists, so they find the dirtiest and ugliest sex they can. Look at the scandals and hypocrisy involving highly religious people and porn, prostitutes (both male and female), illegitimate children, incest, affairs, multiple divorces/marriages. The most voracious viewers of porn are those who say they believe in god and/or Jesus (and the stats support this conclusively.) Frankly, none of this is a mystery.

      September 4, 2010 at 10:33 am |
    • Jamie

      You know, my husband and I are both Christians, and we have some amazing sex, even at times what others might call "dirty" or "kinky" so, I guess I missed Sunday school the day they said sex in marriage was bad. I was always taught that whatever you did in you marriage bed was ok with God, omitting bringing another person into it. So we should all make bumper stickers: "Honk if you have great Christian sex"

      September 4, 2010 at 10:40 am |
    • Brian

      The title of the blog is more than a bit disturbing... why not "How SOME Christians Spoil Sex"??? What's on for tomorrow? How Muslims Spoil Sex? How African Americans Spoil Sex?

      September 4, 2010 at 11:00 am |
    • Pastor G

      There is absolutely nothing better than Christian intimacy. It's is as creative as the participants imagination. The problem is that ignorance and silly suppositions has twisted what God designed between a husband and his wife.

      Christians do not denounce great sex. Christians denounce sex outside of marriage. If one would read the bible one will find the true meaning of love. Song of Solomon is an entire book on intimacy.

      Saying that Christians spoil great sex may make for interesting reading. It may be used in an attempt to justify ones actions and/or desires. But ultimately' if your idea of great sex is meet at a club, get drunk, intercourse in the car, elevator, etc then you will never experience what God designed to be spectacular..and you wind up limiting yourself to a life of guilt, anxiety,cheap thrills and antibiotics.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:03 am |
    • Austin

      I wish I had abstained until marriage.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:17 am |
    • bj

      Mark Driscoll is a preacher who very much views sex as a gift from god. He has a series online called the peasant princess going verse by verse through the song of solomon. Whether you agree or not it is at least a good way to expand views in a biblical way.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:31 am |
    • Joel Weymouth

      As I recall the Bible says that the "marriage bed is undefiled-meaning that – anything goes of course between a man and woman married. I am an evangelical Christian. If you are referring by "loving" to illicit sex between to teen-agers in heat that of course is "sin". What is strange: the so-called sexual revolution has left our country in pandemic of sexually transmitted disease and children without fathers. Why don't you write an article outlining the homosexuals in San Francisco that are not only infected by AIDS but are also infected again and again with syphilis and gonorrhea. You would report about the teen-aged girls who have had 3 or 4 abortions. Christians haven't ruined sex. This perverted twisted band of leftists and media deviants have ruined sex from it beauty into some twisted act no better than copulating between 2 dogs.

      September 4, 2010 at 11:32 am |
  18. Reality

    A lot of hot s-ex in marriage. Not so in cases of ad-ultery or for-nication:

    "Se-xually transmitted diseases (S-TDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. While substantial progress has been made in preventing, diagnosing, and treating certain ST-Ds in recent years, CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.1 In addition to the physical and psy-chol-ogical consequences of S-TDs, these diseases also exact a tremendous economic toll. Direct medical costs associated with S-TDs in the United States are estimated at up to $14.7 billion annually in 2006 dollars."

    September 3, 2010 at 2:35 pm |
    • Seraphim0

      Eh... you realize, reality, that they have things that you can use to help drastically decrease the chances of STDs, right? Not everyone who has relations outside of marriage is some cesspool of STDs. Man... give it a rest already. The super-paranoia is ridiculous and getting old.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
    • Jodi KT

      Have you ever read the book : A guide to mind-blowing, toe-curling, holy sex? It is a book written by a catholic author celebrating the JOY of married love making! Maybe the author of this column could have his mind opened a little?

      September 3, 2010 at 2:54 pm |
    • Tom

      Ok, reality, so we can now say, Christians and Germaphobes spoil good s-ex.

      Try a condom, not only will it help reduce STD's but reduce teen pregnancies, and even reduce the number of abortions, things Christians and Germaphobes might like to see.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:56 pm |
      • jos

        So we should like germs, like Lady Gag does?

        September 3, 2010 at 8:13 pm |
        • peace2all

          @jos

          Please explain..... Who is (we)... and why should the (we) like germs.....? And who/what is Lady Gag..? (Did you mean Gaga..?)

          Peace...

          September 3, 2010 at 8:42 pm |
    • Patropolis

      Obviously you are not having wild, crazy, hot s-ex. If STD’s are the only thing going through your head you have no right commenting on something you are not doing. (i.e. s-ex)

      September 3, 2010 at 3:12 pm |
    • WE

      I would like to see you guys convince drunken and drugged up 15-24 yr olds – or college students away from home to use a condom.... do you really think that everybody is as smart as you guys? if it were that easy there wouldn't be 19 million new cases a year... in this case Seraphim0, it seems that your'e the only paranoid and dillusional one that seems to think that 15-24 are so easily educated.... Guess you never had a childhood of your own...

      September 3, 2010 at 3:14 pm |
    • Charles

      The problem with STDs is not that good Christians do "it" outside of marriage. The problem is that the Christian educators and mentors are so hung up on "it" being sinful that they refuse to entertain the notion of how to do it responsibly, such as birth control and STD preventive practices. They say "It's bad. Don't do it." rather than including "... but if you do, use this and this and this and this, and your chances of pregnancy or STD will drop by 99% or more."

      It's quite often the insulated Christian child that gets pregnant.

      Is it so wrong to offer multiple lines of defense?

      September 3, 2010 at 3:23 pm |
      • SDixon

        Well said Charles.

        September 4, 2010 at 1:48 am |
      • Kate (not of 8)

        Charles, you are right that it is most often the insulated "Christian" teen that gets pregnant. I was raised in a Christian home, and $ex was not talked about openly. It was understood that you just don't do it, and if you did you were a terrible person and your parents were ashamed and disappointed in you. I was in a situation when I was 16 that a boy I liked told me things about $ex that were not true, and I believed him because I knew nothing true about $ex from my parents. I got pregnant the first time I had $ex at 16 and got kicked out of my house. I think situations like this could be largely avoided if children were educated about $ex, and this can be done without encouraging them to have it or making it sound ok to do.

        September 5, 2010 at 11:51 pm |
    • faithfulwife

      That is great to know the stats of STDS to be able to have THE TALK with your teen or preteen, but when you are married, this should not be an issue. What ever happened to honoring your vows and being faithful? I am not nieve about what could happen in a marriage because my ex stepped out on me for years, but this is not what the article is about. There is no reason for married adults to engage in wild, fulfilling sex with their spouse and feel any guilt. God considers it a sin if you are having sexual relations, physical or emotional, with someone other than yuor spouse.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
    • JBP

      Reality, I was having "relations" when I was between the ages of 15 and 24, and *gasp* before I was married. I have also never had an STD in my entire life.

      WE, I was educated enough to be using condoms when I was between the ages of 15 and 24. Sounds more like you are speaking from personal experience on that one.

      Part of the reason why the STD rate is so high among young people is because they are having other kinds of s ex, like oral and anal, and not using protection because the girls can't get pregnant that way. They don't count this as "having s ex", so to them, technically they are not having s ex before marriage. Another reason for the high STD rate is because some young people, just like grown adults, don't care.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:29 pm |
      • avenger206

        does in the ear count as s3x?

        September 3, 2010 at 6:11 pm |
        • Ch-ch-ch check it out

          Wh-wh-wh what's it all about?

          September 3, 2010 at 11:36 pm |
    • MarylandBill

      Sigh, condoms can protect against HIV, but they are not effective against all types of STDs. That might also be part of the reason why there are 19 million new cases every year.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm |
      • jerry

        sarfe sex is not using a condom safe sex is waiting until your married

        September 4, 2010 at 1:33 am |
    • The Dude

      Haha convincing drunk or drugged up 15-24 year old to use protection is a lot easier than keeping them from having sex period... its what we call a compromise

      September 3, 2010 at 3:31 pm |
    • Jita2060

      @Seraphim, Tom, and Patropolis: Actually, the fact that you still think safe sex is safe at all is getting old. Save your money, your health, and your sanity by abstaining.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:54 pm |
    • TammyB

      Do you believe in anything? You are constantly using a bunch of statistics to prove how horrible EVERYTHING is, according to you.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:56 pm |
    • Mark

      What kind of response is that? All it does is to justify to the articles position that Christians have ruined sex; you make no mention of condoms but rather spew meaningless stats.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
    • sockeyerama

      Reality: Thank you for this cautionary review of the communicability of STD's. In my religion, we mix asceticism with good hygiene practices in order to avoid STD transmission. Just prior to an often after a heavy date, we sit in a boiling sitz bath for about 20 minutes. This practice inevitably leads to disinterest in sex and in many cases, even horror at the prospect. You sound like you practice the same faith.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:31 pm |
    • sockeyerama

      our comment is awaiting moderation.
      Reality: Thank you for this cautionary review of the communicability of STD's. In my religion, we mix asceticism with good hygiene practices in order to avoid STD transmission. Just prior to an often after a heavy date, we sit in a boiling sitz bath for about 20 minutes. This practice inevitably leads to disinterest in physical relationships and in many cases, even horror at the prospect. You sound like you practice the same faith.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:34 pm |
    • Frogist

      @ TammyB : 90% of posters think that Reality believes in statistics.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:46 pm |
      • TammyB

        Makes sense.

        September 3, 2010 at 5:41 pm |
        • TammyB

          BTW....the above comment was in response to Frogist regarding Reality believing in statistics. Sadly, the reply was thrown to the bottom, and my other comment went to where ever non-posted comments go. I was careful (I thought) and didn't use the "s" word. Sigh.

          September 3, 2010 at 5:43 pm |
        • zeugirdor nahtan

          Its sad how we are grown into a civilization of control through fear.Religions from Catholicism to Lutheran.Put Fear of judgment into every1s head and they automactically become become tranced.Power of influence even in the hands of ego driven power hungry men people will believe anything if they put to much trust into a person who's ulimately blind.God doesnt Judge Man man Judges man. ppl feed their ego daily. in religion ur brainwashed into serving "god" when its merely a man with an unsatifing thirst for Control.Thats the key word here..."CONTROL" without it men in religous power have nothing. I found a way to believe without Guilt and am still alive 😉

          September 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm |
        • doubled

          I have used the SEX word in 4(four) posts and no one has objected. Maybe you should get with the program and ENJOY your husband, if you have one!

          September 3, 2010 at 5:51 pm |
        • peace2all

          @TammyB

          Hi TammyB.... How are you...? Yeah, the comments have been thrown around down to the bottom here. I am hoping that my comment gets put under yours, as I hit the reply button under your name.

          Making any kind of comment about Reality's 'statistics' may lead you to getting more of same... 🙂

          In the words of Kate... Just sayin'

          Again, hope that you are well...

          Peace to you....

          September 3, 2010 at 7:48 pm |
        • Kate

          @peace2all

          Wait, what?

          Just confusin'

          September 3, 2010 at 7:59 pm |
      • Kate

        @Frogist

        I figured out why Reality avoided the Hawking thread – I think there was too much reality in the topic and he was afraid to face himself 🙂

        Just grinnin'

        September 4, 2010 at 3:46 am |
        • peace2all

          @Kate

          I bet you are right.... I have not seen Reality on this one.... He can't do a lot of cutting and pasting on this one... 🙂

          Peace...

          September 4, 2010 at 3:52 am |
        • Kate

          @peace2all

          What we need is someone else to post as Reality on this sort of thread – kind of an alternate reality ... Hawking's theory supports it!

          Just crackin' up

          September 4, 2010 at 3:54 am |
        • peace2all

          @Kate

          Yeah.... 'alternate Reality'..... but, would we still have to put up with all of the same cutting and pasting of statistics and rhetoric..? Hmmmm maybe not.

          While Hawking's theory may support it......but could we still give him a 'dose of himself'....? I am checking the math right now..

          🙂

          Peace....

          September 4, 2010 at 3:59 am |
        • Kate

          @peace2all

          Nope, no statistics – that whole "alternate" thing, y'see?

          I figured out a new formula to go with my previously posted "Fundamentalist Paradox" – I call it "The Statistics Of Reality". It reads:

          c = [(n + l) / r] / R where c = chances of reality pasting something is equal to (number of websites * number of lines) divided by relevance to the topic at hand, over amount of threads it can be pasted to completely out of context.

          There is, of course, a special theorem to The Statistics of Reality, which basically says

          if topic = Islam, chances = 100%, relevance = zero

          I think I've been watching my computer defrag all day for too long, I really should get sleep 😛 Oh, new post up about Hawking for you to read 🙂

          Just calculatin'

          September 4, 2010 at 4:07 am |
        • peace2all

          @Kate

          LOL...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 Now THAT was hilarious...!!!!! god... I hope that Reality is around to appreciate your mathematical work of art....

          Yeah... It's late...

          Peace....

          September 4, 2010 at 4:16 am |
        • perplexed

          finally an explanation as to why any thread gets completely off topic. too funny and sadly too true thanks for the laugh

          September 4, 2010 at 7:11 am |
    • Frogist

      @WE At 15 it's probably too late to start teaching people about cond-om use and se-xuality. Most pro-se-x activists recommend beginnng as young as possible with information that is age appropriate. Often times this can mean just teaching your children the correct words for their own anatomy from the time they learn to speak.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:51 pm |
    • Shannon

      Some of you make a great points about condoms, birth control, and stds, on BOTH sides of the argument. One thing I will add though is this- Not ALL stds are prevented by condoms. Look up HPV. I was not a slut (Still not), waited to have relations until I was 21, had very little sexual experience before meeting the man I was and am with, had my yearly check-ups, and ALWAYS used protection. A few months into my relationship with said man becoming $exual, and I found that he had given my HPV. A month ago, despite doing everything to increase the chance of it curing itself, including multiple colposcopies, I am now high-grade and may even have the beginnings of cancer. Note: He exhibited NO signs, but a previous girlfriend had cheated on him, and he didn't find out until we were together. Bottom line- You can be as cautious while sharing intimacy as a couple can be and still get it. HPV is not prevented by condoms. Gynos can tell you that if you've had relations once, you are likely to have contracted a strain, each with it's own result. Enjoy your relations, take great care, and remember that it is best to have one partner, preferrably long term because of this reason. I'm not extremely religous, I'm not judging anyone, I'm just giving info that I myself have received under bad circumstances/personal experience, and that I will pass on to my daughter.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:25 pm |
    • Reality

      From the CDC review, It is obvious that interc-ourse and other s-ex-ual activities are out of control with over one million ab-ortions and 19 million cases of S-TDs per year in the USA alone. Are "full-proof" methods of birth control responsible for some of this??

      From a Guttmacher Insti-tute report:

      "Percentage of women (men?) experiencing an unintended pregnancy (a few examples)

      Method
      Typical
      Pill (combined) 8.7
      Tubal ster-ilization 0.7
      Male con-dom 17.4
      Vase-ctomy 0.2
      Periodic absti-nence – 25.3
      Calendar 9.0 –
      Ov-ula-tion Method 3.0 –
      Sympto-thermal 2.0 –
      Post-ovulation 1.0 –

      No method 85.0"

      Not in the Guttmacher report:

      (Abstinence) 0
      (Ma-stur-bation) 0

      i.e. if con-doms fail to protect one from an unplanned pregnancy 17.4% of the time, they sure will not "full/fool"-proof protecting someone from getting a STD. Maybe B16 got something right for a change??

      September 3, 2010 at 5:45 pm |
      • James

        Um, if you claim to be a Christian, you need to believe that abstinence lead to at least 1 unintended pregnancy.

        September 3, 2010 at 11:43 pm |
        • Dana

          LOL! Except it wasn't unintended, at least by one of the parties involved!

          September 4, 2010 at 12:04 am |
      • peace2all

        @Reality

        Hello my friend.... Well... more statistics I see..... 🙂

        Peace.....

        September 4, 2010 at 4:41 am |
  19. jules

    its not about not enjoying sex, its about women not enjoying it. In all religions.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:27 pm |
  20. Peter F

    Good article, though I'm betting this is going to be an interesting comment section considering the s-word is not one of the moderator's favorites.

    September 3, 2010 at 2:24 pm |
    • jules

      ya if we use the s word we get deleted, my comment is awaiting moderation:
      its not about not enjoying s-word, its about women not enjoying it. In all religions.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:29 pm |
    • Hoeech

      Getting around the auto-censor is easy enough. It's when you get overly creative with wording that you start to draw ire.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:53 pm |
    • Anderson

      I am a christian male. I have had a very sexy life. I have had over 200 partners. Had sex in movie theaters, diners,Cars, hotels,most every room in the house. Neighbors lawn. on and on.
      I use toys with my partners. I tried every position.

      This study is a crock.

      September 3, 2010 at 2:59 pm |
    • ol cranky

      @Jules – you show a lack of understanding of of religions if you think that. A ketubah (Jewish marriage contract) actually includes a clause that states that a man must pleasure his wife (and yes, it means that kind of pleasure). Other religions and even some non-fundamentalist Christian denominations do make it clear that a healthy sex life is good for a marriage.

      For the record, I went to school in the bible belt, the # of "born again" devout Christians who had sex outside of marriage (and not just in missionary position!) was almost as astounding at their dismissal of any outsider who expressed shock they were doing it.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:04 pm |
    • coachjay

      What research does the author base this on? That perspective is so "last century." If he'd been even remotely involved in a contemporary Christian community in the last twenty five years he would have a very different picture. Sounds to me like just another "let's bash the Christians" diatribe.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm |
    • Karl kemerait

      We can't use the word sex in reply to an article on sex? Are you serious? if that's true maybe some Cristian artists need to get together and come up with a new symbol instead of that ubiquitous fish ... how about a horse being castrated or maybe we could all go back to using hieroglyphics when we talk to Christians...ya know pictures! Give that crayon box double duty!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:15 pm |
    • David

      Ages 6 thru 14 the heart flutters. What happens after that age? I find "Song of Songs", old testament, very insightful to the article being discussed. Sex, lust by itself is vulgar. Love times hugs will lift the spirit into the stratosphere!!

      September 3, 2010 at 3:18 pm |
    • skywizard

      Maybe just being a human being, and not referring to oneself based on religion might help get things heated up. Christians having bad sex? Well since they only have sex to procreate then who cares. Sex is a Sin if it`s not all about baby making is it not?

      September 3, 2010 at 3:19 pm |
    • JD

      Coachjay, some religions still are this way Christian or not. My own Christian religion is still this way, so while some contemporary Christian churches are overcoming this, not all are. Sometimes it is not the church leaders, but the parishioners. I had one leader whose brother had heard so much of this from others in the congregation (mostly from what he was taught growing up, but then not taught once grown) that it was affecting his marriage. The church leader wasn't able to help his brother much and everyone else in the congregation would have been all against the leader if he had said anything to change the congregations attitude.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:28 pm |
    • Mickfo

      What a dumb thing to waste thought on. It's like debating whether the Easter Bunny would disapprove of eating bananas.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:28 pm |
    • Craig

      I agree and disagree with the article. The article isn't trying to straight up bash christians it was written leaving out details to bring controversy and spike interest. Majority of christians are NOT abstinent untill marriage regardless of the books teachings. This article only really describes the christian extremest. The only valid point he truly has is the books... and again the books are probably written by extremists anyways sooo it really is not a valid argument.

      Enough said, no need to get riled up over this article. That would be just what he intended to do to have a popular article.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:33 pm |
    • geno

      I have been a christain my whole life. I also have enjoyed a awesome sexlife. This article is totally without fact and frankly peer nonsense. Within the bounds of matirmony, there are no more rules than non Chritians

      September 3, 2010 at 3:44 pm |
    • Steve

      Seriously?...God gave us Sex...are we seriously arguing this fact?

      Let's get this straight...God is our creator (I am a Christian if you have not already determined that)...Right?

      Therefore, he created (and gifted us with) Sex...

      Again, is this even somthing that needs to be debated?

      September 3, 2010 at 3:45 pm |
    • Hailey

      has no one read the Song of Solomon? very passionate section of the Bible. My husband and I have an amazing marriage and that is a large part of it. I would think spoiling your time sleeping with mulitple partners and watching pornography getting an unrealistic view of what that should be like, that would spoil it.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:51 pm |
    • Joe Orlando

      Not sure what Bible you are reading or even what marriage in Christianity you are referring to. Sex in a Christian marriage is HOT and about 3 things...Location, Location, Location. Just look at the Song of Solomon 4...where he describes his spouse and then later she takes him out to the open field to "do him". The difference I found (after 37 years) is the sex partners care about what the others needs are and what they feel comfortable with..."...the bed is undefiled in marriage".

      September 3, 2010 at 3:55 pm |
    • Funny

      I can’t believe that so called intelligent people write these articles. That’s why I read CNN News so I can feel like a genius. Thank you CNN. 🙂

      September 3, 2010 at 3:58 pm |
    • Eileen H

      I take exception to the headline. Would you use a headline like that for other religions?

      September 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm |
    • DickG

      It would have been a much better acticle if it was presented in a format showing which religions are at which S- Rankings. Perhaps there is still time to change.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
    • MoonSong

      God wants a married man and his wife to enjoy a roll in the hay (53x) That's clear in the bible. It's really that simple.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
    • VICTORb

      Christians? How about any religion? I have coworkers from India who have marital relations only to procreate. Sexual relations and religions don't go together, period. Read book the Act of Marriage.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
    • Kris E

      I agree that more Charistians need to stop putting Sex in a box. God made it and he made it to be fun when you are married. Couples need to learn how to talk and read Christian books about the topic. There are a bunch of good books out there you can read together.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
    • chris

      since when did passionate sex become god's idea...

      let me guess, tasty cupcakes were an idea from god because they're pleasurable, too.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:20 pm |
    • Mavis

      I have to disagree with the reply from "coachjay." Anyone who follows Jonathan Acuff's blog would likely agree that the last words to be used to describe his perspectives would be "last century." As a Christian who spends a great deal of time in contemporary Christian company, I believe that Acuff has hit that nail on the head. His perspective is pretty accurate when it comes to the attitudes of many Christians – contemporary or not. Not all contemporary Christian communities are that cutting edge.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:22 pm |
    • Maria Peña

      That is not thrue . I'm catholic and very very christian, and my husband and I are being having a wonderfull sex life sice 20 year ago, maybe this aplied, for the puritans who came here in the 1800's , and some stupid people how still living in the 1800's, "alway blame the chirtians" PLEAAAASEEEE find someone else to blame.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:24 pm |
    • Samantha

      Well, Jules ... you think all women don'[t like sex??? Lol ... you're telling on yourself, Jules 🙂

      September 3, 2010 at 4:26 pm |
    • tad

      The author of this article is living on another planet. Just read what Pope John Paul II wrote in Theology of the Body and his book Love and Responsibility. Read Christopher West or Jason Everett and what they say about marriage and Catholic Church teachings. You are completely lost if you think orthodox Catholics have a bad love lives. We have five beautiful children to prove our love is alive! IT is not sterile or boring. Your out of your mind. I wouldn't trade my Catholic Christian marriage for anything in the world!

      Those who use birth control are the nutty ones. They are the ones with a boring love life.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:27 pm |
    • Eric

      Why not think for yourselves for a change and stop waiting to be told what to do, maybe god gave you free will to make your own decisions, and not be sheep

      September 3, 2010 at 4:41 pm |
    • FunReally?

      tad: You have 5 kids... Let me guess, you have been married for 45 months! Most of those days your wife have been pregnant. What a fun and exciting s-x life! At least you got it 5 times!

      September 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm |
    • Brian

      As a follower of the way of Jesus, I totally agree with the premise of this article – that Christians need to decide if sex is good or bad. How ironic that of all the history books, the Bible clearly establishes a purpose for sex – Genesis. Even more crazy, the Bible actually encourages "hot" sex – Song of Solomon. There actually is no ambiguity in the story and teachings from the pages of scripture written thousands of years ago by multiple authors, most of whom never knew each other.

      The profound power of marriage and yes sex – as the Bible reveals to us – is found in exclusivity. The intensity of love is magnified when you spend time with someone who is devoted to you, and no one else. When you compare this to what the pundits and the famous and the media teach us – that sex should be experimented freely no matter the consequences or the partner – you realize the beauty of God's plan. So, is this ideal too lofty, or is it that many skeptics have lowered the bar?

      September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
    • James

      What he and many leave out is that many Christian opinions on s-x are derived from other teachings in the bible and teachings of the church (interpretive of the bible) which don't always agree, and lets not forget that each sect has it's own teachings, as easily manifested by the differences between Catholics and mainstream protestants (Lutheran, Methodist, etc). The following are examples of some of the derived logic used publicly and privately.

      If Lust and Vanity are sins, then being attractive for your mate are sins, for example.
      If women are subordinate, then anything other than a subordinate role in the bedroom violates God's plan
      If s-x is only for procreation, then you probably only should be doing it when you want more kids, so don't get hooked on it.
      If there are no married role models in the new testament with s-x lives, and the bible is inspired, then God doesn't want you to have sex
      If the new testament only mentions sex when describing evil characters like Herod and prostitutes, then there should be no good associations with s-x

      Lets also not forget that the scripture was edited by men, Europeans, and ultimately Protestants who applied taboos that weren't apparent in the earlier Jewish culture (nor even in non-European Christian nations like Ethiopia and a period of time in Egypt.
      Anyhow, the more interpretative a sect or people are with scripture and dogma, the more likely they are to be open-minded s-exualy

      September 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm |
    • Dave

      Christians spoil just sex? They tend to spoil everything.

      September 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm |
    • jazz

      sex is good

      September 3, 2010 at 4:56 pm |
    • Lapsed

      I am surprised that Catholics would respond to this article, as if 'Christians' was aimed at them. Catholics are notoriously naughty, therefore are not in this category. 'Christians' are usually Mormon, Protestant, Baptist, Evangelical, etc, etc. Catholics are a different animal altogether. In this decade, I am honestly surprised to see this article. S-E-X is everywhere, in magazines, film, tv, and in public. How to, where, when, with whom, and how often is publicized quite often. This article is ridiculous.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:04 pm |
    • Justin

      Somebody made a comment that if someone has 5 kids, they have only "gotten it" 5 times. That's crazy. Some of the best s-ex EVER has been with my wife while she was pregnant. See, it's things like "we can't have s-ex when the woman is pregnant" that I think proves the author's point very well. Christians (not just extremists) view such things as taboo, when really are part of a healthy, married sex life. I don't know if that's a characteristic unique to Christians, but it certainly is an issue.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:08 pm |
    • evoc

      Yep, hot sex between two caring people, not only two married people is healthy. After all, the universe was not born of a sterile thing.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:09 pm |
    • Shannon

      Jules, women enjoy the frisky- In all countries, of most faiths. Maybe its your (And other's) lack of skill and intimacy that is causing the problem. I'm woman, and I enjoy it equally or maybe more than my partner does. Back to the main topic, you're right though, many religions go about promoting marital *exual expression as a missionary, joyless activity.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:10 pm |
    • coloradojohn

      I do like this article. Frankly, I really don't think celebate people should necessarily be reproducing anyways. I'm sick of Christian obsolescence. Lets get with the times, and tackle s-word issues instead of shunning them or avoiding them. IF God is about love, then he will endorse lovemaking, and vigorously.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:11 pm |
    • a christian

      God created intercourse to be pleasurable to both partners within the marriage.not just for a procreation.It is not sinful to enjoy it because it is what God designed humans to experience .

      September 3, 2010 at 5:12 pm |
    • evoc

      Oops! I used the s word, and that comment is 'awaiting moderation. So, again: Yep, hot s ex between two caring people, not only two married people is healthy. After all, the universe was not born of a sterile thing.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:14 pm |
    • le

      Tad's love life makes me sad, the ones with lots of kids are always the ones with a utilitarian love life.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:16 pm |
    • seabiscuit

      Not sure what word that author is from. Christian teaching, especially Catholic, is very clear in the joy of sex between a husband and wife. Additonally, I remember surveys taken in women's magazines, Redbook as an example, which showed that married women who were strongly religious reported the best sex lives. How about this klutz cut the Christian bashing already.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm |
    • Will

      I love the picture, a young couple obviously in a romantic embrace, but she has her cloths on !!! Those religious types can't ever get it right

      September 3, 2010 at 5:24 pm |
      • FingKnowItAll

        "I love the picture, a young couple obviously in a romantic embrace, but she has her cloths on !!! Those religious types can't ever get it right"

        That's because she's a good Christian girl and to be nak*d is indecent.

        I'm a graduate of a Christian school and what some of my classmates had been taught was laughable. One, though now married 30 years, is probably still a virgin because of what she believed. Personally, I enjoy it very much.

        September 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm |
    • Jason

      Kind of confused here....grew up in a very Christian family, have been married 29 years, NEVER have committed adultry (had plenty of fun before marriage though) and still have toe curling love making and always have. Not sure what Christians don't enjoy it, just no into warpped sick stuff.

      Now the muslims and genital mutilation so women can't enjoy it kind of fits....along with marrying young girls sounds pretty sick.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:28 pm |
    • David

      This story title is just to catch attention...pretty dumb choice. Can we say Muslims Spoil Womens Rights? How dumb of a blanket statement do we need to get attention. Pointless article.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:28 pm |
    • Brad

      This is simply error-filled. As a youth leader that has worked with students and Christian abstinence programs for 20 years, it almost always (and often with great humor) emphasizes that sex is AWESOME when it is practiced God's way! That's the whole point of Godly abstinence...that God is the giver of all good things – and if you follow His instructions, it is always the best. Sex is no different.

      The writer obviously has never attended a single "True Love Waits" or "Silver Ring Thing" event and therefore is making some crazy assumptions. Thousands of teens across America and beyond are waiting till marriage for something they know will be absolutely incredible. They don't want this "awesome" thing called sex cheapened by doing things carelessly and against God's wisdom. Good for them!

      September 3, 2010 at 5:29 pm |
    • lulabelle

      This may seem like a waste of time for some, but it is so true. Many are still taught or is still percieved that sex is for the man's needs only. I know women who have been married for a very long time and would never discuss orgasim with their spouse or the lack of it. Why? Sex is a topic that is not discussed and women most certainly would not ever discuss their own needs. Also oral sex is a sin in the eyes of many Christians even today. I believe as a Christian that you don't have sex with animals or outside the marriage bed (spouse only) but sex is a very vital part of communication between spouses.
      It is a form of love and affection but I believe there is a place and time for everything and in the marital bed, you should let yourself be free. You would be amazed at how better your marriage becomes. Thank God for a spouse who understands me needs on a personal level and encourage me to voice them.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:39 pm |
    • Bobby

      Psh – dunno what this guy is talking about. My wife and I are devoted Christians and our sex life is like The Garden. The thing is, we don't go around talking about it to everyone because of Proverbs 5:15-19. Believe me when I tell you – there is no secular sex that is as passionate, erotic, enjoyable or meaningful than what we experience several times each week 🙂

      September 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm |
    • Kevin

      I would like Christians to have as little sex as possible.

      September 3, 2010 at 6:10 pm |
    • ash87

      @ Jason and Galt
      I love how the article is about Christian martial relations but these pathetic Christians cant help but shift the focus and criticism in Islam. Which commandment was it again that said: Thou shalt take any chance possible to attack Muslims.

      Worst part is...what they're saying is not part of Islam. How hard is it for some Americans to understand that the fact a Muslim does something doesnt mean its in Islam, the religion?

      September 3, 2010 at 6:44 pm |
      • Galt

        Who said I was Christian? I was making a point of how a website takes every opportunity to slander one community, but not daring to say anything to the one that actually has a part of it's faith the belittlement of 51% of the human population (that would be the women). Stop being a dhimmi.

        September 3, 2010 at 11:36 pm |
    • CNN HAS TURNED INTO A JOKE.

      Bigotry.

      September 3, 2010 at 6:52 pm |
    • Priapus

      My wife talks to g@d all the time during sex.

      September 3, 2010 at 6:53 pm |
    • Jen

      Just sex? I guess the list is way too long to include everything they ruin....

      September 3, 2010 at 6:54 pm |
    • Shannen

      I grew up in a "christian" home. We were in church 6 days a week. Sex was a sin, dirty BAD and you were going to HELL. We were mostly baptist but some nondenominational too. I NEVER heard it discussed or preached about as a gift, or a positive of marriage. Just terrorized with rape, child abuse, pregnancy and STD stories. My parent's never touched. I grew up thinking this was what a christian marriage was. This ruined my first marriage. I couldn't over come the filthy nasty body image I had and how I was a seductress, and a whore. Fast forward a hundred plus partners and 4 more marriages. No more kids BECAUSE I PRACTICED BIRTH CONTROL, which is a gift from God IMHO. I'm finally married to a Christian man who knocks my socks off! I finally get that God made me wonderfully and fearfully and DESIGNED my body to be a pleasure to my husbands, as his is to me! I feel like I get a chance to start over and do it right. I agree though, that the "Christian Faith" (not including Catholics who clearly have no problem with sex – their ministers are supposed to be "abstinent" but have sex – with little boys. Go figure.) does ruin sex for millions of women, at least.

      September 3, 2010 at 7:26 pm |
    • rich

      Just more anti-freedom-of-religion propaganda from CNN. Just like the mosque.

      September 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm |
    • Mike

      I am a born again Christian and live for God. I am married and my wife and I have awesome sex. We believe it's what God created it for, to be awesome and explosive. We get extremely creative and have no guilt about it. We teach it at our church. If I don't give my wife the kind of sex she needs, she may just start looking somewhere else for that satisfaction, that is just the plain truth. I agree that some christians don't know the bible like they should. SEX IS FROM GOD. He is the God of Sex, but don't get it twisted , that is not his highest priority or what he is all about, he is just the creator of it, and it's one of the first things he told Adam and Eve to do.

      September 3, 2010 at 7:48 pm |
    • Brian

      What if Christ was on Earth right now? Would you believe him to be a virgin? In the Book of Revelations it speaks of how he is in a perverse nation and about the fact that he would be a man. Who it be a man who is a virgin himself. Would he have been born as Christ and hidden from the world til he was an adult or of a certain age? Then think of this, if it were time for the End of Revelations what would that mean for anyone that wasn't pure by being a virgin? Wouldn't that leave WAY more than the numbers the Bible speaks of just screwed?

      September 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm |
    • Ian

      I think "tad" needs to see the opening scene of Monthy Python: The Meaning of Life . . . My guess is the love life MUST be vibrant and interesting, methinks a constant and anxious wait for the next moon . . . besides which, I wouldn't follow what ANYONE says about my love life except my own conscience, I will never ascribe to what some other guy says I should do (especially if he is religious), and being a red-blooded male, only ever listen to my ... Happily married 11 years and always faithful, awesome sex life, and no, surprisingly enough, not Catholic, although I have had to un-teach the wife a whole lot, like that masturbation is good and allowable, for instance . . .

      September 3, 2010 at 8:01 pm |
    • Erin E.

      I am so offended by this article. I am a proud Christian and I am not lying when I say that my husband and I have amazing "toe-curling" sex. The bible teaches that sex is a unifying act between a man and his wife. Sex is something that should be explored and wanted between a man and his wife. There is no need for the Bible to dictate steps for us. I lost my virginity to my husband. I didn't wait because I felt guilty or ashamed I waited because I knew that God had one man for me and I didn't want to unify myself and my soul with anyone but my soulmate. I don't regret it. I feel like sex is too common in today's society. Children learn about birth control in elementary schools and are taught safe sex techniques instead of being told that abstinence is the absolute only way to secure their emotional beings and their futures. Too many teens are mothers and fathers. When a husband and wife are married we are free to be sexually creative with one another and only one another. If you want to accuse Christians of leading stale sex lives maybe you ought to take a national census and make sure you count everyone of us. Your generalizing is no different that racial generalizing or gender generalizing. I pray that God blesses you with the insight of your errors. Good day.

      September 3, 2010 at 8:08 pm |
    • aj

      most christians are boring and they hang in there little circles. Its cuz church spoils it all. Everyone already knows how to read a bible so what is the point of the church. Its power and money. the gnostics had it right but they all got killed and burned by the HOLY CHRISTIANS who said YA WE NEED A CHRUCH

      September 3, 2010 at 8:08 pm |
    • Minky F

      The individual who wrote this is an idiot.

      September 3, 2010 at 8:11 pm |
    • Jessica

      Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahahaaaa! <– THAT was my reaction from simply reading the headline to the "article"! Thanks so much for the great laugh, CNN.. it was much needed today! Hahahahaha!

      September 3, 2010 at 8:45 pm |
    • Joe Coffey

      Craig. Since when is abstinence before marriage the tangent of 'extremist Christians?' The Bible's clarity on this topic will quickly show that is the spiritual lukewarmness of the West that is extreme, not the obedience of a faithful few.

      September 3, 2010 at 8:53 pm |
    • reck0ner

      1st:If you've have intercourse before a marriage ceromony don't believe you've sinned: it is a big lie! intercourse is the marriage act "period" not some multicultural ritual humans now use to preemptively celebrate love/intercourse between a man&woman. GOD doesn't need your priest, your rabbi or you ritual to recongnize two people performing the "act of marriage" Now that the horse is before the cart:2nd:If you've had multiple "s-ually" intimate relationships than you've sinned/committed adultery; by breaking the 1st "marriage act" you engaged in with another and than another!?!OMG!?!, etc.(unless your partners keep dying)however if GOD hasn't joined you with a mate/given you a child from these unions(children are from Heaven)than your not in BIG BIG trouble "per se"(St.Matt19:6) but you are in BIG trouble, so don't keep committing adultery/sleeping around; repent, stop using birth control and ask GOD to marry you&the mate your currently with via ritual or no ritual(St.Matt18:19) or remain celibate pray&fast until you've receive futher notice(FYI-just because the person GOD has given you kids with commits adultery, doesn't mean you can go get remarried/committed adultery like them: read 1Cor.7:11)(FYI-if you can't have kids naturally than adopt "orphan(s)" instead of engaging in a science experiment: read St.Matt.18:5)3rd: this was a nice article:-)

      September 3, 2010 at 8:53 pm |
    • joe

      I didn't think it was a good article. This person has either not read the Bible where sex it discussed in detail and where it tells mates to always give their partner their due. I guess the problem most have is that sex is something beautiful, between a husband and wife, and the details are kept private in most Christian marriages, so it doesn't make for a lot of steamy, hot sex stories. Private things should be kept private. Enough said.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm |
    • Reality Check

      Catholic Christianity is rooted in Latin culture– a love for good food, fine wine, and the art of living is common and has been for centuries. All Christians ultimately have their roots in the life affirming / Eros celebrating culture of the Mediterranean. Christian prudes should be the exception, not the rule. Passionate and creative love making is not only acceptable, it's one of the sacred duties and blessing of marriage. It's a shame that so many confuse the noble virtue to curb lust and promiscuity with the notion that they're not supposed to seek and enjoy earth shaking and explosive "play dates" with their lover.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:10 pm |
    • Perry

      Christians falsely made the practice of having more than one wife into a sin. But most of the righteous men of the Old Testament had many wives. Even God portrayed Himself as a polygamist (Ezekiel 23:4).
      Christians were fed some lies a long time ago: Coitus is inherently sinful and only a "marriage"(preferably church sanctioned) will make this vile act acceptable in the eyes of God. This idea did not come from the bible but from gnosticism's influence on Judaism and early Christianity.
      Another lie that the holy rollers like to foist upon the unsuspecting is that the fornication mentioned in the New Testament had to do w/ premarital sex when it really had to do with hideous sexual practices involved in cult temple worship and sacrifice and homosexuality.

      September 3, 2010 at 9:10 pm |
    • Terri

      Oh please, Christians are allowed to have h ot s*x, just not with everyone they want! People think that monogamy = dull, boring, missionary-style relations.....totally false!!! Another way for the world to criticize those of us with faith!

      September 11, 2010 at 3:18 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.