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September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. Iggy__81

    SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX! This word should not be moderated. There are far more discusting words to use for that. It's used in schools,it should be aloud to be said in public and on forums like this.

    September 3, 2010 at 6:06 pm |
  2. dcartist

    Ridiculous generalizations made about a group of people, by a writer with little or no talent.

    September 3, 2010 at 6:05 pm |
  3. Bob

    I've been a pastor for 14 years, a Christian for 48 years and a husband for 38 years and I consider sex as one of God's great gifts to us. Sure, it's meant to be enjoyed within the confines of a committed marriage but that's not a bad thing. If anyone has ever read Song of Solmon (OT book) I don't see how they could say that God ( and Christians) dislike sex.

    September 3, 2010 at 6:01 pm |
  4. Oblamea

    It seems to me that the Catholic priests have plenty of sex with their little boys... Talk about pope on a ropin' it!

    September 3, 2010 at 6:01 pm |
  5. DebAKAMoi

    the S word? like SAX? lol,

    September 3, 2010 at 6:01 pm |
  6. wan

    Every country in the world is obsessed with it, get over. Just keep doing and shut up about it.

    September 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm |
  7. DP

    Christians do teach that sex within marriage is awesome.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm |
  8. DebAKAMoi

    what is the s word? lol SEX?

    September 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm |
  9. We are coming for you Dumos

    What about the Muslim barbary of conducting clitorectomy? After 3 tours in the Gulf, I can tell you Muslim men have good sex...with each other. Saw it several times. The saying goes "Men are for fun, women are for breeding".

    September 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm |
  10. Chris M

    That's why they scream "O God, YES!

    September 3, 2010 at 5:55 pm |
    • Lucifer

      gOOd one }:-)

      September 3, 2010 at 6:20 pm |
    • Lynn

      we do actually 😉 why not thank him for amazingly hot and nasty sex with the love of our life ^.^

      September 4, 2010 at 12:08 am |
  11. Reality

    It is obvious that interc-ourse and other se-xual activities are out of control with over one million abor-tions and 19 million cases of S-TDs per year in the USA alone. Are "full-proof" methods of birth control responsible for some of this??

    from the CDC-2006

    "Se-xually transmitted diseases (S-TDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. While substantial progress has been made in preventing, diagnosing, and treating certain S-TDs in recent years, CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.1 In addition to the physical and psychological consequences of S-TDs, these diseases also exact a tremendous economic toll.
    Direct medical costs associated with S-TDs in the United States are estimated at up to $14.7 billion annually in 2006 dollars."–

    How in the world do we get this situation under control? A pill to temporarily eliminate the se-x drive would be a good start. (Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes, 4/18/2010 described them as anti-desire pills). And teenagers and young adults must be constantly reminded of the dangers of se-xual activity and that ora-l s-ex, ova-lation methods, birth control pills, co-ndoms and cha-sti-ty belts are no protection against S-TDs. Might a list of those having an S-TD posted on the Internet help? Said names would remain until the ST-D has been eliminated with verification by a doctor. Lists of s-exual predators are on-line. Is there a difference between these individuals and those having a S-TD having se-xual relations while infected???

    From the Gutt-macher Insti-tute:

    "Percentage of women (men?) experiencing an unintended pregnancy (a few examples)

    Method Typical

    Pill (combined) 8.7
    Tubal sterilization 0.7
    Male condom 17.4
    Vasectomy 0.2
    Periodic abstinence – 25.3
    Calendar 9.0 –
    Ovulation Method 3.0 –
    Sympto-thermal 2.0 –
    Post-ovulation 1.0 –

    No method 85.0"

    Not in the Guttmacher Insti-tute report:

    (Abstinence) 0
    (Mast-urbation) 0

    i.e. if condoms fail to protect one from an unplanned pregnancy 17.4% of the time, they sure will not "full/fool"-proof protecting someone from getting a S-TD. Maybe B16 got something right for a change??

    September 3, 2010 at 5:55 pm |
  12. wan

    We are all so obsessed with s+x, in one way or another in every country in the world. Why doen't everyone
    just shut up about and do it.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:55 pm |
  13. doubled

    Statistics...Sex which would you prefer?

    September 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm |
  14. Cieje Valentine

    And hitler was also definitely nuckin futs.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm |
    • john jeffers sr

      sex with out god,s love is nothing damnation,if you don,t have etennal love for the oppisite sex partner you don,t have anthing but a feeling of guilt after the inter course is over,,people ya gotta have love!!!!!!!!!!

      September 3, 2010 at 6:28 pm |
  15. Reality

    It is obvious that interc-ourse and other se-xual activities are out of control with over one million abor-tions and 19 million cases of S-TDs per year in the USA alone. Are "full-proof" methods of birth control responsible for some of this??

    from the CDC-2006

    "Se-xually transmitted diseases (S-TDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. While substantial progress has been made in preventing, diagnosing, and treating certain S-TDs in recent years, CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.1 In addition to the physical and psychological consequences of S-TDs, these diseases also exact a tremendous economic toll.
    Direct medical costs associated with S-TDs in the United States are estimated at up to $14.7 billion annually in 2006 dollars."–

    How in the world do we get this situation under control? A pill to temporarily eliminate the se-x drive would be a good start. (Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes, 4/18/2010 described them as anti-desire pills). And teenagers and young adults must be constantly reminded of the dangers of se-xual activity and that oral sex, ovalation methods, birth control pills, co-ndoms and cha-sti-ty belts are no protection against S-TDs. Might a list of those having an S-TD posted on the Internet help? Said names would remain until the ST-D has been eliminated with verification by a doctor. Lists of s-exual predators are on-line. Is there a difference between these individuals and those having a S-TD having sexual relations while infected???

    From the Guttmacher Institute:

    "Percentage of women (men?) experiencing an unintended pregnancy (a few examples)

    Method Typical

    Pill (combined) 8.7
    Tubal sterilization 0.7
    Male condom 17.4
    Vasectomy 0.2
    Periodic abstinence – 25.3
    Calendar 9.0 –
    Ovulation Method 3.0 –
    Sympto-thermal 2.0 –
    Post-ovulation 1.0 –

    No method 85.0"

    Not in the Guttmacher Insti-tute report:

    (Abstinence) 0
    (Masturbation) 0

    i.e. if condoms fail to protect one from an unplanned pregnancy 17.4% of the time, they sure will not "full/fool"-proof protecting someone from getting a S-TD. Maybe B16 got something right for a change??

    September 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm |
  16. USA401

    Odd position to take for a religion that bans priests from marriage. Pretty soon they will be saying they molested kids to get closer to god.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:50 pm |
    • Lynn

      lol still mixing up your religions my friend

      September 4, 2010 at 12:05 am |
  17. Nikki

    S ex was created by God, and is a gift from God to married people. Every Christian couple I know, has so much love and affection and attraction to the person they are married to that can only come from God, and their marriages are still very spicy, even 20 years later. Many people put Christians in a conservative 'box'. Come on now, we live by the bible and what the word of God says, song of solomon is a chapter in the bible that is very detailed about that, God created s ex, so obviously having s ex as a married Christian is way better then those who have it not married 🙂

    September 3, 2010 at 5:50 pm |
  18. Txawj

    Christians did not spoil sex, humans did. No one knows how to please the other anymore. Men can't please women. That's the root of the problem, not Christians. Wake up.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm |
  19. mark

    How presumptious, and general. Until you've walked in a Christian couples shoes, or more importantly, been under their sheets you cannot possibly know.. Look forward to carressing my Christian wife tonight.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:47 pm |
    • Nikki

      Couldn't have said it better myself 🙂

      September 3, 2010 at 6:11 pm |
    • Lucifer

      Is there room for a 3rd ???? -wink-wink-snug-snug

      September 3, 2010 at 6:23 pm |
  20. Jeanlou

    Ya gotta love America… trying to have a discussion on s*x, but we can't write that word in the forum…

    September 3, 2010 at 5:47 pm |
    • Lucifer

      Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...that felt good !

      September 3, 2010 at 6:25 pm |
    • Lucifer

      Cigarette ???

      }:-)

      September 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.