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September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. PK

    The very fact that we must code the word s.e.x, in order to get through the censors, pretty much validates this article. I'm reasonably certain that this censorship derives from religious morality. My father was a fundamental baptist preacher, and believe me, this article doesn't even come close to describing the depht or breadth of religious taboos that exist out there.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm |
  2. mike

    Christians ruiin a heck of a lot more than sex.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm |
  3. Albert Meza

    God gave us sex and made it good so we can enjoy it. Please don't confuse Christians with those "church ladies" that sit in church pews looking down at everyone else as if God gave THEM the right to judge. Keep it honest (within the bounds of marriage), and keep it between closed doors; no one else needs to know what you are up to! Go to church on Sunday and thank God for Friday night!

    September 3, 2010 at 3:29 pm |
  4. Gabriel NYC

    People cringe when they read Ezekiel 23:20. It's my favorite verse.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:29 pm |
    • Mike in NYC

      Oholibah was a naughty girl. What can you say?! lol

      September 3, 2010 at 3:51 pm |
  5. Sarcasmo

    Christianity? Spoiling something? I don't believe it.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:29 pm |
  6. Jessica

    While I understand the point of this article, I admit I'm disappointed. When I read the headline "Christians spoil sex" I was expecting to read about how Christianity pressures believers into abstinence. I've been abstinent my whole life and I have believed for many years that sex before marriage is wrong. The article even mentions that sex before marriage is bad. I believed that if I or anyone else had sex before marriage they could not claim themselves to be truly Christian and that they were bad, bad people. Thankfully, I grew up. Sex before marriage is not wrong–it's a choice. As is choosing to wait. Neither should be quoted as being right or wrong. We do not live in a closeted society any longer. Teenagers and young adults have sex before marriage, this does not make them evil or bigger sinners than the next door neighbor. "He who lives without sin let him cast the first stone." America is growing up, times are changing. Perhaps Christian doctrine should as well.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:28 pm |
  7. jeannie

    I don't think Christians are spoiling sex by not talking about it more. I'm a Christian and my husband and I have a great sex life. And it's nobody's business. I think Christians are blowing it a lot more by trying desperately to be hip. The younger ones especially are seeming to try to prove they can be cool and Christian at the same time. Really, Jesus is enough.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
  8. M.M.

    What we're taught in our church is that s-x is NOT JUST for procreation, but also to express love between two people. It's nothing dirty, or anything to be ashamed of. However, there is also an added caution to abstain from immoral behavior outside of marriage (obvious reasons omitted).

    Why other Christians are taught it is wrong to enjoy it is unbelievable. One of the FIRST COMMANDMENTS God gave Adam and Even in the Bible was "multiply and replenish the earth." Sorry, can't do that unless you're doing it.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
  9. macadooly

    I am a Christian. I have been since 1997 when I confessed Jesus as my Savior and repented of sin. The church i attend has always preached that sex in the confines of marraige bed is amazingly beautiful. And, if this author has ever visited my bed, he would be amazed!

    September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
  10. David

    The Bible says that men should Delight in your Wives.

    Sounds like God said Get Married, get freaky and GET IT ON!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
  11. bob

    Has anyone told this to the Duggar family? I dont think they have coughed up 20 God fearing puppets by praying.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
    • BadReportingStinks

      dude. show some class.

      September 3, 2010 at 3:31 pm |
    • Chris

      It was actually by eating fertility pills like tic tacs after God answered their initial prayers for children with a resounding "no".

      September 3, 2010 at 3:55 pm |
  12. Me

    Good. Maybe they'll forget how to reproduce and there'll be fewer of them to pollute the world.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
  13. Nils

    I'm not sure what everyone else is doing, but me and my wife have been breaking headboards since day 1 (that would be our wedding day). Read the Song of Solomon, there's some stuff in there that'd make old Heff blush.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
    • Cieje Valentine

      Lol! Good one! Can't agree more!

      September 3, 2010 at 4:38 pm |
  14. B Nakka

    And the point of the article is non-christians have great sex? LMAO..... have you guys ever heard of Kama Sutra? This book comes from a land called "India". Does anyone know about India? This is the same country where a man and a woman are not allowed to socialize before marriage. Yet, the greatest book about SEX in the world comes from this country. I guess generalizing is not so correct sometimes.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
  15. BadReportingStinks

    CNN, you used to be the premier source for solid news. Now you are writing articles based on the opinion of a guy who writes a blog largely based on humor? Good lord. It's like they consider anyone with an opnion an "expert." (iReport, I hate you).

    September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
  16. Chris

    Christians actually damage sex in a fifth way. That is by trying to dictate how non Christians enjoy it.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm |
  17. sally

    "Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white [s-word]".... i didn't know interracial was allowed by any christian church

    September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
  18. peace2all

    @mat

    Wow... So, do you have an opinion one way or the other on any of this....?

    Peace.....

    September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
  19. perplexed

    touchy subject this s*x stuff. if only we could have reasoned open discussions about it we probably wouldn't have all the trouble we're having with it. extremist views on either side only make the problem worse.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
    • peace2all

      @perplexed

      Your post..... "touchy subject"....... Did you mean that 'tongue n cheek'... Cause that was funny 🙂

      Peace.....

      September 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm |
  20. Chargette

    Is this article supposed to be enlightening? Why just this one group of people? The article is vague and does not have any concrete information of value. The article assumes the people of this one group have the same problem. An article like this detracts from the credibility of the company that publishes it.

    September 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.