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 Our Take: Your relationship style determines how you feel toward God
By Tim Clinton and Joshua Straub, Special to CNN A few weeks ago, Christopher Hitchens was interviewed on CNN. A renowned atheist who has recently been diagnosed with cancer, Hitchens told Anderson Cooper, “If you hear that I came to God on my death bed, don’t believe it.” We were stunned. Why? Because a growing body of research shows that from an early age we are hardwired for a relationship with a "Transcendent One." For Hitchens to willfully decide that he will fight off or deny any future existential longing he may develop for God - or shut out any evidence he comes across in favor of God - is grievous. Though it seems that America is tired of religion, we’re finding quite the opposite about a relationship with God. A recent Newsweek poll found that 91 percent of American adults claim a belief in “God”, while Time magazine reported that 85 percent identify themselves as Christian. Gallup reports that 73 percent of Americans “are convinced that God exists.” People want more of God, not less. Yet in their spiritual thirst, many people hit a wall when faced with a crisis in life: a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, a car accident, a natural disaster or a job loss. Too often, they feel distant from God and have a hard time believing he will be there for them when they need him most. Either that or they turn to God in prayer more than ever before, but end up disillusioned when he doesn’t come through in the ways they had hoped. An exciting new body of research on attachment is adding to our understanding of why we feel "close to" or "distant from" God. This theory of relationship understanding and emotion goes beyond a legalistic religious obligation to maintain good standing with God. It’s becoming a powerful way of comprehending how we can better relate to God and experience his grace on a daily basis. For many who claim to be Christian, much of modern-day thinking about how to connect with God has been reduced to a theory of sin management - that what we do or don’t do in our daily lives is the gauge by which we measure why we are, or are not, close with him. The truth is that many who leave the faith or turn away from God do so because they have come to realize that this mindset led to nothing more than a shallow or empty relationship with God. Attachment theory helps us understand our misconceptions about who God is and how we approach a relationship with him. The problem isn’t God; it is the way we view him and act toward him. Our spiritual journeys are linked to core relational beliefs established early in life based on how we've learned to perceive ourselves and others in our closest relationships. In fact, we believe everyone reading this blog has a relationship style that affects their relationship with God and significant others. We are not trying to establish religious beliefs. We're also not saying that sin doesn't create distance with God. What we’re trying to do is to help people understand more fully the nature of how their relationship style infects or affects how they relate to God. There are four kinds of attachment or relationship styles developed from our core relational beliefs, which are or aren't formed within the context of safe, close, affectionate and secure bonds. These styles reveal whether we believe we’re capable of getting the love and comfort we desire and how much we trust others to be accessible and available in moments of need. They also shape our expectations about how God will relate to us, especially during times of need. We break down the styles in our book God Attachment: Secure: a positive view of self/a positive view of others Avoidant: an overly inflated view of self/a negative view of others Anxious: a negative view of self/an over inflated view of others Fearful: a negative view of self/a negative view of others When we’re faced with stress, we seek closeness to those we feel safe with. Each one of us exerts specific behaviors to help us get closer to those we’re attached to in times of need. If we don't feel safe; if we are confused in our core beliefs about whether we’re worthy of love or whether others are capable of loving us or accessible when we need them, then we'll transfer those beliefs onto God and struggle to believe he could really be there for us. But if God serves the functions of an attachment relationship in our individual lives, it can be the difference between cognitively believing in God, as most do, and emotionally connecting, trusting, and walking with him every day, which is much less common. If you came from a dysfunctional family and stopped reading now, you might be tempted to believe that it is impossible to have a genuine relationship with or healthy view of God. But the good news is that research supports the notion that those with insecure relationship styles can and do find a close, secure relationship with God as they turn to him and discover he is not like other attachment figures who have hurt them in life. Perhaps it’s time to challenge our beliefs about God (if we’ve seen him as disinterested or unavailable) and re-evaluate our own identity (if we tend to see ourselves as hopeless or unlovable). Finding hope and meaning doesn’t happen overnight. There’s no magic prayer or verse that will heal the wounds we’ve experienced. We need to be honest with ourselves, grieve our losses, repent of our own wrongdoings, forgive those who have hurt us, and learn new relational skills. Just like any other relationship, building intimacy with God requires vulnerability. Honesty. Time. Prayer. Focus. Listening. Journaling. Reading the Bible. Meditating. Remember, the goal is to connect with God, and get to know him for who he really is. This often requires peeling off layers of false core relational beliefs. When we understand our relationship with God in light of attachment research, we begin to realize how our unhealthy preoccupation with anxiety, fear, guilt, or self-punishment may actually be shutting out the love and healing we truly long for. God is not like your mother, your father, your spouse, your ex, or any other human that failed, abused, or abandoned you. If you’re from a secure background, God also cannot be the God of your father or mother. Your relationship with him must become personal. When you connect with God, and begin to grasp who he really is, you begin to build the most vital relationship in your life. He becomes your source of truth, love, forgiveness, joy, and security. It’s a choice you make. So if you’re one of the 97 percent of people who do believe in God, who is he to you? Are you close to him? If not, your relationship style is likely the reason. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Tim Clinton and Joshua Straub. soundoff (1,423 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Next »Post a comment
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Dan Gilgoff and Eric Marrapodi, with daily contributions from CNN's worldwide newsgathering team and frequent posts from religion scholar and author Stephen Prothero.  |
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Editor's Note: Tim Clinton, President of American Association of Christian Counselors, and Joshua Straub, an adjunct professor at Liberty University, are the authors of 
For the most part my relationships are warm and loving and fun!
I have a problem with forming a relationship with an invisible sky daddy. This is solely, due to the fact that there is not one shred of evidence to support His existence. There is much evidence for His not being any more real than the Easter Bunny. I don't have a relationship with the Easter Bunny either.
But...the Easter Bunny is real! W-T-F?
@Lenora
Hmmm....
No Virginia, there is no Santa Clause.
@David Johnson
There you go again David, pretending your life has meaning and is "worth" living. haha. I love that you keep coming back to these belief blogs. No matter what you say you believe in (or don't believe in), your actions speak louder than your words ever could. You are just striving as hard as your little brain can, to search for significance on this pointless planet (pretending that what you have to say means something, lol, what a joke). I love it when people say one thing, but do something completely opposite of that. Bad news when that happens though....we don't take you serious. I guess you'll have to go be meaningless somewhere else, eh?
"A recent Newsweek poll found that 91 percent of American adults claim a belief in “God”, while Time magazine reported that 85 percent identify themselves as Christian. Gallup reports that 73 percent of Americans “are convinced that God exists.”"
"People want more of God, not less."
How the hell does that logically follow? You can't draw a conclusion about desire without a trend... And the trend of believers is dramatically decreasing, not increasing.
REASONINGFAIL.
I cautiously agree, only for the reason, that christianity in this nation, in particular, is cowardace. But that does not negate the fact that people are hungry for more of a relationship with God, but as scripture says, how will they believe if they don't hear and how can they hear without a preacher. We have many TV evangelists living high, Pastors who remain in there church, but people will not go out and tell people anymore.
Mailman, why exactly do they need a preacher?
"I believe, but help my unbelief."
@Cicero – that really is terrible grammar.
-God is perfect & Created all perfect.
-Quran is perfect than no created kinds can bring as perfect even if worked together for it.
-Muslims are not so perfect therefore as a practiced religion might not be as complete and as perfect since it became shuttered and scattered in to many branches and paths??
Example given here for Quran :
-Quran Sura 07:155
-Quran Sura 85:21-22
-Quran Sura 56:75 to 96
Example given here for Prophet Muhammad SAW :
-Quran Sura 96:01to 05
-Quran Sura 36:01 to12
-Quran Sura 06:49 to 52
-Quran Sura 10:107 to 109
What ever happening to Islam today:
-Quran Sura 06:17 to 19
-Quran Sura 67:20 to 30
The message of God from the Quran addressed to all humans and non humans:
-Quran Sura 35:01 to 45
-Quran Sura 05:01 to 120
"Thousand-year-old moldy books don't have much relevance today." – Me
I can also quote MAD magazine or maybe some Archies comics too.
@AstraNavigo.
You are mistaken it is workable at any time and all time, have you read it to judge it as not workable in this new age??
Fine motivation to do really bad things with self righteous zeal.
Randy Pausch notable quotes,
This is amazing, he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.
POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with,
people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you
@Muneef
Interesting. 1 through 10 are pretty good advice.
Number 11 is not true – your brain chemicals are not under your direct control – people who suffer from depression and other forms of mental illness cannot take charge of their happiness – not even drugs can guarantee happiness.
Number 12 is misleading. Number 13 is good advice, as is 14, yet some people should know better than to argue when they are not sure about their position and / or cannot back it up with good evidence / proof / etc.
In the Community section, only 17 is worth keeping, as the others assume that there is a community in the first place, and Number 20 is flat-out wrong: it IS your business how others think of you, but if they are wrong about you and you cannot do anything about what they think, then one should take note of this and act accordingly. Everything is everyone's business to the extent that they are capable and willing.
Life:
Number 22 is impossible without truly knowing everything GOD wants you to do – and those things are not going to be found in a holy book written centuries ago. What about today? Is it up to you? Why? Maybe it's because you do not know what GOD really wants. You cannot even prove GOD exists, so how can you prove that anything ever came from GOD in the first place?
23 is completely false. GOD does NOT heal everything. To say that GOD does anything is unprovable. So many things are not healed no matter what anyone does. There is no proof that any healing was done by GOD, either. 23 just blows.
24 is good advice, but whose value system are you going to use to figure out what is "right"?
25 is only half good, but it is good to think upon when bad things are happening that it's not likely to be "forever". There is always death to end our perceptualizing of events, good or bad.
26 and the rest are complete bullshlt.
Thanks for sharing your emails with us, Muneef. That was a nice change from the usual stuff.
@Sum Dude.
Not sure if you want to discuss that or if is worth, any way ready to help..
Some logical corrections
Life:
22. Put Fellow Man first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. Nothing heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it may change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank the laws of physics for it
30. If you know how to deal with problems without taking shortcuts like believing in god, you will always be happy. So, be happy.
@Muneef
Thanks for wanting to "help" although what you would help with I do not know?? That was an interesting list and I felt like commenting on it and enjoyed seeing something new that wasn't purely religious but was good advice in many things.
Why don't you go over the list like I did and let us know what you think about all the things in the list? Wouldn't it be fun if everyone commented on it? I wonder what Reality would say....and all the others who like to post comments here.
lol Luther, what a dry and cynical life you lead. Glad to know you apparently have the facts about life and the universe (wait, isn't that what you hack others for believing? lol...)
Some of these are wise, others are just obvious, still others just sound good. Religious leaders become experts in making things sound good, rather than proving any worth. Try not to rely on this Randy guy too much for your inspiration. One problem with religious folks, is they let other people or groups be inspiration for them, rather than coming up with inspiration themselves. Rely on yourself. Inspire yourself. Have faith in yourself. If you can't do these things, then, maybe you do need religion.
This dialogue has been very interesting and entertaining. We all have a choice to believe as we wish. I choose to believe in the Bible, Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, and this belief provides a comfort and joy that this beyond explanation and data facts. I am a Biologist and a believer.
nice.
You're a biologist and you choose to believe in the bible? How do you quell the intellectual issue of biology proving genesis wrong?
So you actually labor under the delusion that your belief gives you the feelings of comfort and joy? They have a clinical name for that type of behavior Mr. Biologist... It's called psychosomatic.
Why do unbelievers care that we believe in God? By the way, we also believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and died on the cross for our sins as well as the virgin birth and that the bible is God breathed. Our God does not need unbelievers, He would like for everyone to have the opportunity to spend eternity with Him. Lack of education, scientific knowledge and all the other mumbo jumbo that unbelievers say about Christians is just their way of deflecting their own issues with what they believe and perhaps making excuses for not really researching the existence of God instead of reading an article on CNN.
@PJL: I care about your beliefs because your beliefs form your actions. If someones beliefs are not based in fact and reason, what is their perception of reality is based upon? If someone bases their actions on these beliefs, they will attempt to justify any action without the need to explain it with reason and honesty.
Eric G. That doesn't quite make sense. 1. for the reason that from early history nonchristian societies christian (or those believers in Jesus) were known for the strict honesty as well as their unwavering belief in Jesus. As far as reason is concerned, faith in Jesus isn't blind, or ignorant although there are those "christians" that like to stay in the dark. But it takes more faith to prove that there is not a God (Jehovah) or Jesus than to claim there is.
"Why do unbelievers care that we believe in God?"
We don't.
In fact, most of us atheists 'get' the concept of faith – as long as it takes a form something like this: "I can't explain it – I can't prove it – and I don't expect you to accept it – but 'x' resonates with me, and I believe it."
That I can deal with.
This constant nonsense about "You're all going to hell", and worse – and the ludicrous 'People want more of 'god', not less,' is not only moronic, it's offensive....
For the same reason that I would care if one of my friends believed he could fly off of a building. It's delusional and dangerous.
"it takes more faith to prove that there is not a God (Jehovah) or Jesus than to claim there is."
More psychobabble bullsh1t. I do not need to prove that the tooth fairy doesn't exist, either, numbskull. I could walk down the street and say I see pink elephants on parade, and people would rightly think I was insane or inebriated. The only reason that god doesn't live in that same realm is insecurity.
Jerry,
"Wow, ya think that God and some of the other desired answers might be found in that other 95%?"
"Might"? Sure. So let's keep investigating, ok?... and not live our lives according to an unproven hypothesis.
Where are the videos talking about how Muhammad was a failed warlord. Or a pedophile. Or how he liked to slaughter jews to keep moral of his men up when he blew yet another battle? Funny how you don't post those.
Cygnus 727, Jesus, when approached by unbelievers, even Paul, did not try to prove who they were or if they existed that is up to the individual. The knew what their (the cynic's, critic's) purpose was as do I with all of these blogs. The author of the books do not hate anyone on here but most of the blogs are hateful, and hinder people who could or would be helped, as if we would rather see people roll in the mud with us rather than someone pull them out. Can you prove that God (Jehovah) and Jesus Christ did not exist?
@mailman
Can you prove that the Easter Bunny does not exist? Really? You think that it is possible to prove that something DOES NOT exist when there will, of course (duh), be NO PROOF of that "something's" non-existence?
You don't understand logic or evidence, do you?
I can prove God does not exist by people like YOU who CANNOT prove that he exists in the first place! How do you like them apples? You can't prove that God exists. You can't do it. All you got is your drinking buddy who says that "it is so" and the napkin that he wrote that statement on – no, wait, he lost it.
Nevermind.
Again. The claims of the supernatural are for the believers to prove. Good luck. Until then, I'm back in the one true reality supported by scientific evidence.
Proof – sufficient evidence or argument for the truth of a proposition.
Religion bears the burden of proof of existence, not the non-believers. The need for evidence falls to religion, non-believers need not prove anything, by the very definition of the word – Proof.
What we believe affects what we see. I found it interesting that very few attempted to discuss attachment theory but instead focused on which set of statistics were correct–real enlightening. I recently finished listening to 28 lectures on The theory of relativeity and quantum physics and was told with a good deal of precision how our universe was formed and when (some where between 10 and 20 billion years etc.) And then how much we know about the smallest particles of this universe function with quarks and string theory etc. All with great precision as of course the scientests said from time to time over the last few centuries when the atom was the smallest thing and before that the cell. The clincher was that somewhere in the last lecture the professor pointed out what a problem it was that we really only knew about 5% of the universe and 95% was still unknown. Wow, ya think that God and some of the other desired answers might be found in that other 95%? I can attest as a counselor who has worked with people for over 45 years that how they attach to parents and others early in life have a life long effect even after years of therapy. Mankind does not want a God to exist because then he/they cannot be in control. (And that will probably be what you will want to pick on about this post.)
Thank you, very insightful.
I am interested in the Attachment Theory aspect. How does the child / care-giver relationship develop when the supposed care-giver is not visible, audible, or detectable in any way?
Do counselors an.alyze imaginary friends with respect to Attachment Theory?
Jerry,
the reason why God cannot be explained by the 95% unknown is because the god of Abraham makes specific claims about the known 5%, predictions about the known 5% and has characteristics that infringe upon the known 5%. If you want to change the theory of what god is to adhere to the unknown, then go right ahead. You'd have to create (pun intended) an entirely knew religion. Unfortunately for you, scientists like yourself are working on reducing the unknown factor of the universe everyday, so the god theory you are about to produce would evolve (pun intended again) over time, just like it already has.
The "cell" was never considered "the smallest thing."
Once you define God, you will get your answer in the 5% which will be "Ridiculous".
I'm not sure I have seen so much anger and sarcasm in one place before. I wonder if this God discussion hits a nerve of some sort?
I agree. It seems that people are so eager to hate something rather than try to understand.
The article is filled with a snotty, condescending tone of contempt for anyone who "doesn't have a good relationship" with "God".
Just hateful Christians using pseudo-science to insult and put-down non-Christians. "Oh, didn't your father spank you enough? No wonder you have problems with God." Etc.
All BS, nothing worth respecting really. Cheap religious hacks looking to scam the religious nut-jobs out there...like you guys.
Yes, Paul – it hit a nerve.
It's condescending and offensive.
Why would one's relationship with a notional "God" be any different than any other relationship? Wherever you go, there you are... (unless you are Walter Mitty).
My desk lamp doen't interact with me, does yours? Attachment theory is about relationships between people.
You can't prove or disprove the existence of a god that doesn't reveal itself until you've reached the afterlife... Since none of us have internet connectivity in the afterlife, we're all still in the wrong realm... Try asking a question that's actually answerable... I wasn't making claims that I could prove to the contrary, but you *were* making claims that you had proof of a god's existence, so let's see it.
Velveeta, why won't you try. We don't have to wait til the after life. Many witnesses throughout the ages has testified to the fact of what you are so hard fighting against. Docmuments from all continents, and milleniums testify to His existence. Instead of disproving with individuals try researching to disprove and see what comes of it. Science is even advancing in the proof God the father and Jesus, which I can't say that all scientist are because they are not, because there are many antagonists. This article does prove something very valuable, that is, that there are people who love to hate and bash something they themselves really don't understand and they'll gather together to do so.
Sooooooo, what I'm reading here is that you have no actual proof of the existence of a god? Because if all you have to rely upon are ghost stories of people that have been dead for centuries, I'm sure I could point you to some equally-riveting ghost stories that point to even older gods that christianity has since purported to debunk as false idols... So what makes the ramblings of your old dead men and scriptures anymore valid than the ramblings of those old dead men and scriptures?
Interesting velveeta, first answer me the question I posed first, prove that He doesn't.
It's up to the believer in the supernatural to provide the extraordinary evidence for their extraordinary claims.
And up to the atheist to prove their steadfast "knowledge" of an unprovable non-existence. The only reasonable position is some sort of agnostic middle-ground, or at least an acceptance of one's views as "beliefs" (as is typical of religious mentality) rather than "fact".
David – I am quite shocked. This comment is vastly more thoughtful and objective than your previous ones. Bravo.
"David
And up to the atheist to prove their steadfast "knowledge" of an unprovable non-existence. The only reasonable position is some sort of agnostic middle-ground, or at least an acceptance of one's views as "beliefs" (as is typical of religious mentality) rather than "fact"."
Scientific observations and facts are NOT beliefs. You can either accept facts or ignore them. Now faith on the other hand, there seems to be no end to what those of faith will believe without evidence. There is no parity here. God is a hypothesis. Evolution and Common Descent are theories. This is a big distinction.
A fascinating article! I'm so glad there is a place in the secular world where people can post articles like this.
I gotta give all of you all credit, to this point noone has disproved Jesus Christ or God (Jehovah) but carry on as if you personally know that He does not exist. I can give you much proof of their existence, but tell me if any of you can prove with a reasonable doubt He does not. All I am reading is a bunch of conjecture, accusations, name calling, etc. with no merit. As Jesus said you will not acknowledge Him because he will expose your sin.
Then please, do enlighten us with this "much proof of their existence" you seem to have sole access to, because in the history of the universe, there's never been *proof*, only, as you so eloquently put it, "a bunch of conjecture, accusations, name calling, etc. with no merit."
mailman,
*You* are making the claim of existence. It is *you* who must provide the evidence.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence for proof.
Jesus, if he were "God" and all-knowing as is claimed, would have known that this evidence, i.e., the disputable doc-uments of the NT, is very weak.
Yes, I assume any supernatural thing does not exist until i see evidence otherwise. If you have evidence then please show it. I see no reason to assume Jehovah or Jesus exists ahead of time anymore than Zeus or Thor. You are going on the assumption that your religion is true and that atheists must disprove it. But if that is valid, why shouldn't a believer in Wicca or Vishnu or Zeus require YOU to disprove their gods?
Fair, wasn't referring to only the N.T. as you put it.
"Proof" born of faith wouldn't work for any of you because you are so myopic where this topic is concerned (notice I am not saying you are ALWAYS myopic). People of other faiths are really much easier to talk to about Christ b/c they do believe that there is more to this universe than meets the eye. The reason why it is appropriate to ask unbelievers to disprove the existence of God is because believers recognize His presence everywhere. If what we recognize as "proof" of His existence is nothing more than fairy tales and fantasy to you, how can we possibly change your minds? AND since the barbs, jabs, and slams are coming from you, then back up your unassailable viewpoints with your own facts. So far you say "no" to God b/c you can't see Him. So? I haven't seen a million dollars, but I know it exists (thanks Tim Allen lol). The "proof is all tangential for me. I see the effect of a million dollars on the economy, but I still haven't seen it. I see the effect of God in lives all around me. You probably would, too, if you were willing to look. But, ce la vie.
@balarand,
"I see the effect of God in lives all around me..."
You see the effect of a BELIEF in "God" - sometimes with a beneficial effect on human behavior... and sometimes not.
Author: "For Hitchens to willfully decide that he will fight off or deny any future existential longing he may develop for God – or shut out any evidence he comes across in favor of God – is grievous."
WT-F is this trash? Hitchens would never ignore good evidence. This is a pathetic attempt to remove credibility from a great mind. Read the quote from below. He said not to believe that he converted on his deathbed because the religious love to make those claims about atheists. Didnt they do this to Einstein?
"“Our belief is not a belief. Our principles are not a faith. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather than sufficient factors, but we distrust anything that contrad-icts science or outrages reason. We may differ on many things, but what we respect is free inquiry, openmindedness, and the pursuit of ideas for their own sake."
— Christopher Hitchens
"Because a growing body of research shows that from an early age we are hardwired for a relationship with a "Transcendent One."
A predisposition to assign the supernatural to the unknown does not mean we must ignore scientific evidence and continue to live a delusion. The history of Western Civilization is the history of the supernatural continuously ceding ground to scientific fact. Reality is what Reality is. Regardless of your "relationship style."
Could just as easily say that we have an instinctual fear of the unknown, and an innate urge to imagine possible answers and assign 'answers' regardless if they are actually right or not because having any answer is better than having no answer at all.
Well, this has been an entertaining discussion even if a tired topic. Gotta jet. TTFN
Interesting article with some good points.
I don't think Hitchens was saying that he would avoid any new evidence for God on his deathbed. I think he's merely trying to combat the common myths that occur with the death of a celebrity atheist. He's trying to prevent people from saying "He repented and found God." This happened with Darwin who was an agnostic, and many Christians today believe the myth that Darwin recanted or became religious, which is purely fictional.
As far as people's relationship styles, I think the church is more to blame than atheists or even parents. Religious Christians, specifically fundamentalists, have told me that I cannot approach God. Because I am unable to believe in Jesus the way they do, and because I'm apparently such a horrible sinner and God demands either total perfection and/or perfect faith, I am unable to have any kind of relationship with him. I believed at one point of time and made a strong effort to keep my faith in the bible, jesus, etc. but was unable to do so. I now consider myself mostly agnostic, but I find it even hard to approach the idea of God because of my upbringing of "all or nothing." This doesn't mean I view the universe as meaningless or the possibly of God or transcendence of some sort ridiculous, but I find it difficult to enter a church that believes in talking snakes, virgin births and hell for billions of jews, hindus, buddhists, atheista and even 'christians" who got the wrong belief system. I don't find the scenario with Islam or Judaism much brighter.