Pastor: Facebook is encouraging adultery
November 18th, 2010
01:20 PM ET

Pastor: Facebook is encouraging adultery

A New Jersey pastor is asking married  members at his church to delete their Facebook accounts because he says it encourages adultery.

The Rev. Cedric Miller of Neptune  made the demand after 20 couples at his church ran into difficulties after a spouse reunited with an old love interest, the Los Angeles Times reported in an article.

The article, which quotes an Associated Press story, says Miller had asked married couples in his church to share their Facebook passwords with spouses, but couples still ran into problems.

Miller, pastor at the Living Word Christian Fellowship church, says he’s now demanding that 50 married church leaders delete their Facebook accounts or resign.

Anthea Butler, a columnist with Religion Dispatches magazine, says Miller is invoking an old theme in fundamentalist and conservative churches: that any new media - like movies, television and radio - is  sinful.

What is interesting to me is that the conservative Christian cry used to be stop watching porn on the internet, or  your kids would be pimped out on the internet by perverts. Now, social media has become the latest “sinful” activity.

Still, Butler in her column entitled, “Facebook: Internet Highway to Hell,” says she could sympathize with the pastor.

So I am not surprised that the pastor is demanding all of his leadership cease and desist from Facebook. After all, looking up an old flame or your teenage dream à la Katy Perry is just the first step down the road to perdition - especially if your home life isn’t exactly what it used to be.

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Ethics • News media • Pastors

soundoff (346 Responses)
  1. Michael

    I'm a pastor as well.... Eyes lead to adultery as well.... should we poke them out?

    Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

    November 19, 2010 at 6:09 am |
  2. Catie

    It is tempting to 'look' for people from the past. If you dont have access to them you arent going to work so hard at finding them. However, Facebook does make it very easy to connect with people perhaps you shouldnt be connecting with. I see the Pastors point of view. Society has lost its moral compas and he is just trying to get his parish to stay on track. God bless him.

    November 19, 2010 at 5:45 am |
    • Catie


      November 19, 2010 at 5:46 am |
    • AGeek

      It's even easier to use a private investigator ..or, say, a phone book. I don't ever think I'll understand how you people remember to keep breathing.

      November 19, 2010 at 7:15 am |
  3. Tom

    Sorry Pastor,

    You are so far off the mark it's funny. If your 'flock' was adulterous don't blame technology. Don't even blame yourself (although one wonders how well you are doing with teaching those 10 commandments) Blame the adulterer.

    November 19, 2010 at 5:37 am |
  4. Chris






    November 19, 2010 at 4:40 am |
    • NL

      If you plan on opening that 'good book', reading it, and then acting on what you think it says... then you have a religion, don't you? Isn't faith part of religion? I don't get how you can believe in God without religion.

      November 21, 2010 at 12:50 am |
  5. zombie_jesus

    Lets not forget King Henry the XIII. I don't believe he had facebook.

    November 19, 2010 at 3:40 am |
    • AGeek

      Ye Olde Booke of Facef!

      November 19, 2010 at 7:06 am |
  6. the son of a preacher man...

    "facebook encourages adultery"
    that's like saying CNN encourages people to do things to get air time and exposure...

    just sayin'.

    November 19, 2010 at 3:39 am |
  7. mr.Joelwilliams

    No It does not it is a outlet to support the li es living with the Scriptures and being I. Rne time we live in you can give your daily sermons. So do t ne bias like someone who creates stigma about preachers with nice cars and houses as to mansions/heaven and earth And What blessings are And are not. So use this as an opportunity to commute the Truth.

    November 19, 2010 at 2:40 am |
    • zombie_jesus

      Seriously.. spell check is your friend. You may also consider going back to 5th grade to learn proper grammar
      and sentence structuring. Please never post anything online again until you have learned to write.

      November 19, 2010 at 4:53 am |
  8. Steve

    What's next? Catholics outlawing the peace be with you handshakes because they could lead to carnal feeling about the people around you? I guess the message of religion in this church is "Keep you head down and place your wallet in the basket".

    November 19, 2010 at 2:40 am |
    • AGeek

      TSA "Sign of Peace" Pat-downs (or feel-ups, if you prefer).

      November 19, 2010 at 7:07 am |
  9. zombie_jesus

    LIke someone said earlier.. Adultery has been around since god created the third person LOL.. But i digress, adultery HAS been around longer than facebook, myspace, computers, cars, horses, you name it. Adultery happens simply because it CAN,
    Because Human Beings are NOT monogamous creatures (we are animals btw). Period : End of story. Marriage is a man made concept and is little more than a bad contract. Don't be fooled by this "Holy Matrimony" mumbo jumbo.. its all crap.

    November 19, 2010 at 2:28 am |
  10. ElisabethinCA

    And as usual, another "out" for adults not taking responsibility for their actions. No.... it's not your fault you cheated.....it's Facebooks..what?
    And another reason for people to post hateful things to each other when they disagree on a topic. OMG your a "liberal" your a hate filled person that LOVES welfare and wants to give all my money away... Yeah.. well your a lying "conservative" who tells people that we now live in a Socialist State and our president wants to kill you with Death Panels if you get sick. Well both sides need to stop drinking the Kool-Aid of BOTH Murdoch and Soros....Take a little break from the hate and do some research on your own. Unless you want to live in a Russia or China and have ONE party stfu and let each of us have a right to our own beliefs and not call each other stupid petty ugly names. Nah...will never happen. Some people love to hate and to try and bring others down. Our country has turned into a Jerry Springer show. But wait.... wait...look at all the fingers pointing across the table...."we aren't hateful, thats the other side. We are right. They are wrong". Well you are half right. Your both wrong for the hate and the lies you BOTH perpetuate.

    November 19, 2010 at 2:12 am |
    • Taylor

      *Standing Ovation*

      Well said..

      November 19, 2010 at 2:17 am |
  11. Taylor

    @ Tim: Yes indeed FB allows all of that, but so does a lot of Web 2.0 sites and technologies. It's not going away...

    November 19, 2010 at 2:08 am |
    • Tim

      I know its not going away. Again, these statements i made is just my personal experiences. Its just my view of facebook, and technologies, socal networkings, and where we are headed.

      November 19, 2010 at 2:12 am |
  12. David, Tampa

    My married life reads like an Algabra lesson; X1, X2, X3, X4, and so on. So when I went on face book and checked out X1, I found out that she is pretty big. Probably no infidelity there! hehehehehehe

    November 19, 2010 at 1:48 am |
  13. David, Tampa

    Sooooo Preacher.....What R U doin' on face book? Looking for old alter boyz huh? hahaha

    November 19, 2010 at 1:44 am |
  14. Yes I. Would

    I say don't trust that pastor and find a new church. Adultery was around long before Facebook and where do his demands end? What's next? No Happy Meals for the kids? Come on man! Don't allow Christianity to be turned into another form of islam!!

    November 19, 2010 at 1:39 am |
  15. Tim

    I'll end with this note; I never meant it to come across as everyone who uses Facebook abuses it,,, but, it is fact that facebook, and the like, has assisted some people in adultry. If facebook wasnt around, I know i would still be engaged, and not "secretly" messaging to meet up with "just a friend", yet, this "friend" plants hickeys in areas we wont discuss here. Its just my personal opinion of facebook.

    November 19, 2010 at 1:38 am |
    • zombie_jesus

      "this "friend" plants hickeys in areas we wont discuss here. Its just my personal opinion of facebook." And you just made my
      point with this statement. Your "fiance" needed more excitement than you could provide. Listen to yourself.. She was sick and
      tired of you kissing her ass all the time. If it wasn't Facebook, she would of met a lover somewhere else. If you ever talk to her
      again ask her. Want to know how I know.. because Ive been the guy that steals women form their boring boyfriends. 🙂

      November 19, 2010 at 1:52 am |
    • Taylor

      Well if you want to point a finger at Facebook, then why not point out:
      – Email
      – Telephones
      – Coffeeshop's
      – Texting
      – Shopping Mall's
      – Any other medium where people can meet and flirt.

      November 19, 2010 at 1:54 am |
    • Tim

      Sounds like your stuck in the wandering world of facebook too. No friends in real life, but 300 on facebook. give me a break.

      November 19, 2010 at 1:56 am |
    • Tim

      @ Taylor, because facebook allows for live chat, personal info, photos, etc etc.

      November 19, 2010 at 2:01 am |
    • Taylor

      Dude...and you know me how? LOL... Tim would you describe yourself and an evangelical? I ask because I have attended evangelical churches in the past, and am very familiar with the personality "type" that attends those services. The sermons are very polarizing, such as "you are either against _____ or totally into ______ and must break the yoke of XYZ.

      Most sermons are very formulaic and follow that template. As such, the congregants have a similar world view... If someone is on Facebook, they have no "real" friends...etc. etc.

      This is all about balance, and what most people here are saying is that it is too extreme and unbalanced for this Pastor to DEMAND that his leadership delete their PERSONAL Facebook accounts.

      November 19, 2010 at 2:06 am |
    • Tim

      Sorry, Taylor, let me clarify myself,,, yes everyone should have a free choice of what they want to do, weither its a pastor or anyone else. I just expressed how facebook affected my life.

      November 19, 2010 at 2:09 am |
    • Taylor

      @ Tim: Oh fair enough, I can't imagine it was pleasant at all... However...and who knows....you may just end up meeting the girl of your dreams on Facebook (!!!). Good luck on the single scene man, it's fun out there 😀

      November 19, 2010 at 2:13 am |
    • AGeek

      Tim .. Taylor. Ahaha.. Tim Taylor! Man, where's Al when you need a comic relief.

      November 19, 2010 at 7:09 am |
  16. Laurie

    I'm a devout Christian and I think this is incredibly stupid! I'm also concerned that this pastor thinks he has the authority and power to order his church leaders to do this. Who elected him to be the "Holy Spirit?"

    November 19, 2010 at 1:30 am |
    • JPopNC

      Hi Laurie...as a devout Christian you're well aware that we are called to hold each other accountable. We're told not to judge lest we be judged, but that's in relation to those outside the church. Internal to the church, we should be much more accountable to each other.

      Again, the pastor isn't addressing the whole church, just the leaders of his church and he's just telling them to lead by example.

      November 19, 2010 at 4:19 pm |
  17. Taylor

    There is a book from a Christian author that calls out exactly these kind of pastors. The book is called "Why Men Hate Going to Church.

    High on that list of "Why" are pastors and clueless congregants that have a scarredy cat view of the world. Their afraid of movies, of Television, of music and scarred of dancing. Now Facebook. LOL.

    What real man would ever attend one of these churches? Bizarre.

    November 19, 2010 at 1:16 am |
  18. Tim

    I know it is the user to blame and not the social networkings, but these programs eager it to happen a lot easier.

    November 19, 2010 at 1:16 am |
  19. Tim

    I think this article hits the nail on the head. I personally have dealt with Facebook ruining my relationship. I think there are too many social networking programs out there these days that are destroying many many relationships.

    November 19, 2010 at 1:14 am |
    • zombie_jesus

      ever consider, Tim, your relationship ended because of YOU?
      maybe your lady got bored of you. Maybe you couldn't satisfy her
      anymore>? Im just sayin'

      November 19, 2010 at 1:18 am |
    • Taylor

      @zombie_jesus: Yeah, your right on man. It's SO much easier to blame technology, than to take a good long hard look in the mirror.

      November 19, 2010 at 1:21 am |
    • Tim

      no, its not that she has become bored of me. I treat her like a princess and would do anything for her. Its just some people fall into another world and live through these programs and enjoy the "flirting" with old friends, and friends of friends. Trust me, I wouldnt want anyone to deal with these issues, but they are out there more then people understand.

      November 19, 2010 at 1:23 am |
    • zombie_jesus

      Hate to tell you this.. Girls get VERY bored with guys that treat them like a princess.
      80 percent of keeping a girl happy is not getting excited about doing things for her.
      she left you because she owned you and was over it. Don't ever get wrapped around
      her finger because if she owns you, its over. Unless of course she is fat and or ugly.

      November 19, 2010 at 1:46 am |
    • Tim

      Like i said, I know what happened in my ordeal, and it was facebook who is to blame. I know my story, and i'm sticking to it. lol

      November 19, 2010 at 1:53 am |
  20. whybs

    Asking your congregation not to maaaasturbate would be most effective!

    You know what I mean, pastor! 🙂


    November 19, 2010 at 1:10 am |
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