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 Don Lemon with his grandmother on his third birthday. My Faith: How I learned to stop 'praying away the gay'Editor's Note: Don Lemon is a CNN anchor and author of Transparent, a memoir . By Don Lemon, CNN "School day, time to get up, sleepy head. School day." Although she's been gone since 1998, my grandmother's words ring in my head just about every morning of my life. That's how MaMe, as I called her, got me out of bed and off to my Catholic school when I was growing up and in her care. But before I shuffled my way to the bathroom to begin my morning routine, I had to hit the floor on my knees to pray, just as I had the night before. It was usually The Lord's Prayer ("Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...") followed by asking God to watch and guide me through my day until I returned to the safety of my home that evening. But MaMe (pronounced MAH-me) didn't know that at a very early age her favorite grandson had begun to pray, silently, that God would change him from being different, from having crushes on boys, from being more curious about boys than girls. By age four or five, I was too young to sexualize my infatuations but I knew that everyone else, including my family and friends, would think it was wrong. Perhaps it was the conversations I overheard from adults around my hometown of Port Allen, Louisiana, who'd mimic gay people, calling them "funny" or "sissy" or "fagots." Perhaps it was Sunday mornings at our Baptist church, where preachers taught that liking someone of the same sex was a direct and swift path to hell. And that if that person would just turn to the Lord and confess his sin, then God would change him back into the person He wanted him to be - a person who only had crushes on the opposite sex. All of which meant that, from a very early age, I began to think I was dirty and that I was going to hell. Can you imagine what that feels like for a kid who was just learning to read and perform basic arithmetic? It was awful. And talk about guilt - I was a Baptist attending Catholic school! I prayed the silent prayer for God to change me every chance I got until I started attending college in New York. That's when common sense began to take hold and I realized that no amount of prayer would change me into something that wasn't natural to me. With my religious upbringing, I'd had the opportunity to study religious doctrine. But I learned from different perspectives, from Catholic Mass on Fridays to Baptist services on Sundays to vacation Bible school in the summer to Bible study with a Jehovah's Witness as a teenager. As I got older I began to realize that all these people and institutions interpreted the Bible somewhat differently. I had a sort of epiphany: the Bible was about the lessons you learned, not about the events or words. When I became old enough, intelligent enough and logical enough to discern the difference between metaphor and reality, everything changed. I realized that Jonah living in the belly of a whale was a parable written in the same vein as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saying that he had "been to the mountaintop." Neither Jonah nor King had actually been to those places. They were metaphors for lessons for those of us who cared to absorb them. So many of us, especially in the black community and in churches, tend to think that religious teachings happened word for word as they were written in Scripture. I think that's naïve, even dangerous. That type of thinking - or non-thinking - keeps many religious people enslaved to beliefs that they haven't truly stepped back from and examined. That type of thinking causes people who are otherwise good to shun and ostracize young gay people. It causes people to want to control and change people who aren't like them. And who wants to be like someone else? Imagine if we had allowed Christian doctrines and teachings that supported slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women to pervade our society all the way up until the current moment. What kind of world would that be? Instead, we got on our knees, just as I did as a little boy, and prayed that slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women would end. In the United States, at least, those prayers have largely been realized. I'm no longer the member of any church but I do believe in a higher power. It's time for us, especially black people, to stop trying to pray the gay away and to get on our knees and start praying that the discrimination of gay people ends. What we're doing to our young gay people now is child abuse. It's plain old bigotry and hatred. And if African-Americans don't know what that feels like in America, I don't know who does. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Don Lemon. soundoff (4,679 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62Post a comment
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Release the power of celibacy! May those struggling with sinful behaviors be liberated in their quest for salvation.
Yup, because your god gave you urges that he doesn't want you to act on. He made you love people that you're not allowed to love. Just for kicks. Or maybe his gambling habits with the Dark Lord didn't end with Job. Either way, that's one loving god.
Who knew so many Christians were anti-love.
There is saving power for gays/lesbians in celibate relationships and straights who refrain from the temptation to fornicate. Gays and straights alike are under tremendous peer and media pressure to conform to filthy behaviors that can only lead them down the road to STDs, broken hearts, shattered dreams and ultimately, self-destruction. Be a source of support to gays/lesbians with minds set like a flint to maintain celibate relationships and straights who are struggling against the temptation to fornicate. Let them know that there is a power mightier than the filth merchants who would sell their souls for a few pieces of silver.
Together, we can makea diffference in their lives. Regards, Douglas
"Gays and straights alike are under tremendous peer and media pressure to conform to filthy behaviors that can only lead them down the road to STDs, broken hearts, shattered dreams and ultimately, self-destruction. "
You are such a LIAR! There are millions of gays have loving intimate relationships that have lasted over 20 to 50 years. You're only spewing this crap because of YOUR personal prejudice towards this group! By the way there are thousands and thousands of gay churches around the world, pastors, rabbis, nuns, and other clergy stating that being gay is NOT a sin and they should be allowed to marry. Keep showing the world your prejudice.
"Let them know that there is a power mightier than the filth merchants who would sell their souls for a few pieces of silver."
You must be speaking from experience since you'll be the one going to hell because of the hatred and prejudice you are spewing.
There are only ten commandments and one golden rule and none of them refer to this as something that will keep you from God's love or out of Heaven.
(1 Corinthians 6:9-11) What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10 nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom. 11 And yet that is what some of YOU were. But YOU have been washed clean, but YOU have been sanctified, but YOU have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God.
(notice in verse 11. "some of you were", but, you have been "washed clean", you have been sanctified "made holy", you have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ with God's Spirit). Accurate application of the Bible washing you clean and makes you holy. If there is not an accurate application you don't get clean and then you make excuses for your filth. If the Bible says you can change, then follow the formula and don't give up. Paul is telling new Christians that many of them used to be this way.
Yo moron, it's talking about using sex to worship a pagan god. It has nothing to do with the saved loving gay person. It's called reading comprehension 101 you put it into historical context. You're an idiot and not a follower of your Christ you bigot.
A gay Christian is like a black Klansman.
Not as much as a gay Republican.
@ Douglas
Your point?
**News Flash** – "Gay" Penguin courts female penguin!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-16153511
So What – it doesn't change what the experts in the world believe about gay people. LMAO! You are such an idiot.
"They were separated last month by zoo officials who said they needed to reproduce "
It's sad that they were broken up by the zoo officials and not by their choice.
This is laughable. Many people have stopped being gay, but when this occurs, supporters dismiss it saying they were never really gay in the first place.
"stopped being gay"
Then they were not gay moron, they were bisexual. LOL! A true gay person experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation. Plus, all major national mental health organizations have officially expressed concerns about therapies promoted to modify sexual orientation. To date, there has been no scientifically adequate research to show that therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation is effective.
I would like to see the numbers that support your position, Doris. Every reliable, neutral source indicates that anti-gay therapy doesn't work. I suspect you have no idea what you are talking about and are just lying, like so many other christians on this website.
They're right, Doris. Before I accepted who I am, I wanted and tried with everything I had to be straight. I learned the hard way that it is simply not possible. If it's impossible for me, it's impossible for everybody. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.
Doris, Some people will remain gay while others maintain bi-s@xual leanings and still others find that heteros@xual relations
are more in line with their idea of a relationship with a person of the opposite s@x. Regardless, for firmly commited gays and lesbians, celib@cy is a means to self-fulfillment and obedience to Biblical instruction which forbids same s@x coitus. We should reach out to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters and be supportive of their efforts to live happy, celib@te lives. Together, we can make it happen.
Best, Douglas
celibacy really dug, S_x is the physical act of love, how cold any one deny them self, love. Love is truly the one greatest thing in this world even greater than any god you should have it emotionally spiritually and physically. Saying LGBT can solve all of our problems simply by not have S_x is wrong and frankly as a bi-s_xualy who loves love in all its splendor and horror, it’s kind of rude