By John Blake, CNN
(CNN) –True love doesn’t wait after all.
That’s the implication in the upcoming October issue of an evangelical magazine that claims that young, unmarried Christians are having premarital sex almost as much as their non-Christian peers.
The article in Relevant magazine, entitled “(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It,” cited several studies examining the sexual activity of single Christians. One of the biggest surprises was a December 2009 study, conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, which included information on sexual activity.
While the study’s primary report did not explore religion, some additional analysis focusing on sexual activity and religious identification yielded this result: 80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults (18 to 29) said that they have had sex - slightly less than 88 percent of unmarried adults, according to the teen pregnancy prevention organization.
The article highlights what challenges abstinence movements face. Movements such as “True Love Waits,” encourage teens to wear purity rings, sign virginity pledges and pledge chastity during public ceremonies.
Yet many of these Christian youths eventually abandon their purity pledges, Relevant’s Tyler Charles concludes in the article. Tyler talked to people like “Maria,” an evangelical woman who said she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex.
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But she said she started having sex with her college boyfriend when she turned 20 because nearly everyone, even most of her Christian friends, were having sex.
It seemed everyone in my life, older and younger, had “done it.” In fact, I waited longer than most people I knew and longer than both of my sisters, even though we were all Christians and came from a good home.
Relevant theorizes about why it’s so hard for so many young Christians to wait, including the saturation of sex in popular culture, the prevalence of pornography and a popular “do what feels good philosophy.”
Yet the article also asks a question that rarely comes up in discussions about abstinence movement. Relevant notes that in biblical times, people married earlier. The average age for marriage has been increasing in the U.S for the last 40 years.
Today, it’s not unusual to meet a Christian who is single at 30 - or 40 or 50, for that matter. So what do you tell them? Keep waiting?
Scot McKnight, author of “The Jesus Creed,” and "One.Faith: Jesus Calls, We Follow," acknowledges that young, single Christians face temptations that their counterparts in the biblical age didn’t face.
He tells Relevant:
Sociologically speaking, the one big difference – and it’s monstrous – between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when you’re 13, you don’t have 15 years of temptation.
So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying?
What is sleeping around doing? Spreading AIDS and other STDs, creating unwanting pregnancies, resulting in a lot of abortions and causing a massive amount of heartache and low self esteem. Doesn't sound too bright to me.
Very generalized. I MIGHT know one person who is actually waiting till marriage, and good for her. All of my other friends did what they were comfortable doing in the relationships they were in, and all are quite happy/successful in their lives. soem have married and even had kids, others went their seperate ways; but none of them have horrible diseases or crippling esteem issues. They were smart and responsible and enjoyed the relationships they had.
Indescriminant forncation- yeah sure that's bad, anything out of moderation can cause problems. Sx before marriage, completely indifferent, people should just be smart adn know what they're getting into.
Yeah, we know that married people never create unwanted children, or have abortions, heartache or low self-esteem
But the answer is condoms not abstenence
Matthew 7:21 – 21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
Think for yourself , slave.
Basically, the 10 – 20% of young humans that are either uninterested in s-e-x, have serious hang-ups or happen to have a REALLY strong religious fervor (or all three) might manage to get into heaven IF they do not have any other flaws.
Personally, I say have a good time, be responsible and leave heaven to the repressed of the world.
@MarkinFL So basically if you aren't an atheist, you are repressed? Where do you get that from?
@CJP I'm pretty sure God cares more about how you treat people and love them than weather you have s3x before you were rmarried.
Adj. 1. repressed – characterized by or showing the suppression of impulses or emotions;
Pretty much sums up Christianity as it plays out in our modern world.
I personally believe in impulse "control". Everything in moderation including moderation.
People won't take you seriously when you quote from a comic book.
You call CJP a slave,
but you don't see yourself being enslaved to satan who has sold you a bag of lies, and has you in his grip, being exactly where he wants you! You, buddy, are the one who is the loser, not those like CJP!
What't wrong with slavery? The Bible supports it.
Prism: Oooh, Satan....
Now, that is something to be afraid of...more ancient mythology.
I watched "The Crucible" the other night. I thought of you (and a few other posters on here). Hideous. You delusional people can be dangerous.
"you don't see yourself being enslaved to satan who has sold you a bag of lies" Right, and we aren't worried about BAAL or ZEUS much either, or even Godzilla. The article is about how you can't keep your Christian Youth from stripping and getting jiggy with it unless you stand over them with a shotgun, remember? Clean up your own back yard before you point at mine.
Would you like to do the deed with a midget? I bet you would... I bet you'd do it right in his nose... Jeebus would not approve.
It feels good no matter what religion you are........
or...these kids don't have a sound grasp of why they are actually waiting. the depth of their belief is superficial and a type of brainwashing.
The term "Christian" is used so loosely these days. I do not want to be a Christian as it is today. Christians today do what they want and it seems they do not care about what the word of God says. I guess I will be called just a follower of God and his word the Bible. Sure we are all sinners but that is used as an excuse by "Christians".
Please, God, don't let KAR shoot me from a water tower when he loses it.
People have been "waiting" for the return of Jesus ever since he proclaimed he would return during the generation of the people that were alive *then*. It is 2000 years later and many, many generations have passed. He did not fulfill his promise. Why can't people get it that it is all make believe?
Yes, it is THAT simple. I need to call all of the theologians who also hold PHds in science and math etc and let them know what you just said! (rolling my eyes)
Why bother, they obviously don't have any better handle on it than anyone else.
Warning: if you don't believe or understand the Bible, this may not make sense:
The belief that "everyone is doing it" doesn't change what scripture says about pre-marital s3x. God created s3x as a pleasureful gift and way to build a family. God's plan for s3x makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
God has a plan for each of us to experience his gift of s3x, none of which involve pre-marital s3x. Sometimes our impatience and/or lack of self-esteem – and in many cases someone else's lack of morality or character (r4pe) – diminishes the plan God had for us. Fortunately, as the Bible says, God can use a bad situation and bring good out of it. As we've seen happen many times in our lives or other's lives.
But think of all the negative things that have come out of pre-marital s3x: emotional pain, unwanted children, diseases if multiple partners are involved, etc. God forgives and still wants us to experience his gift, but with one partner within the committment of marriage.
These statistics show that Christians are human (duh), but that at least they're trying.
Had to use code because CNN blocks the actual spelling of "s3x" and "r4pe". lol.
" God created s3x as a pleasureful gift and way to build a family. "
You are correct in that s-e-x can definitely be a pleasurable gift and experience. And, it can be a way to build a family.
However, not 'everyone' wants to build a family. So, s-e-x can be a fun, pleasurable way to express one's love for another, and all of the joy it brings.
It is 'not' necessary to wait until you have a 'piece of paper' that says you are now 'married,' to experience and express those aspects with someone you love... or maybe just for the pleasure.
I understand the Bible as well as or better than you, and you still are not making sense.
First of all, it is just plain wrong to call a child a "negative thing." The Bible is overcrowded with stories about women who WANT to get pregnant and consider it to be a terrible form of suffering when they fail to get pregnant.
Secondly, the Bible doesn't say s3x is a special gift to man kind. Rats have s3x. Mantises have s3x (right as they bite off the head of their mate). Jesus did NOT have s3x. It is silly when Christians try to take an animalistic instinct and turn it into a religious act.
Sure, s3x has a huge effect on people – just as it has a huge effect on animals – but so does food and weather.
Truth: Your view of god applies only to you.
I DISAGREE this is super one sided as usual. sorry if yall dont agree but paul writes in galatians 1:10 "am I here to please man or please or god or am i here to please man if I was trying to please man I would not be as servent of god" and hypocrytes exist but but I follow god not man
I realize it's a personal question, but can I ask why you choose to folow God instead of "man"?
Does the Bible actually say "hypocrates" or "hippocritus" or "hyppcropates?" Why don't you guys just look it up? You're a bunch of hippolollipops.
Well, I'm glad CNN is moderating intelligent Christian responses and only allowing wacko "christian" comments and anti-Christian comments through.
Yes. it keeps blocking my pro-Bible comments. I'm serious.
You are probably actually spelling out s3x or doing something like that. Your comments will not be posted if you spell out anything that could be vulgar.
o The moderators of this blog have set up a secret forbidden word filter which unfortunately not only will delete or put your comment in the dreaded "waiting for moderation" category but also will do the same to words having fragments of these words. For example, "t-it" is in the set but the filter will also pick up words like Hitt-ite, t-itle, beati-tude, practi-tioner and const-tution. Then there are words like "an-al" thereby flagging words like an-alysis and "c-um" flagging acc-umulate or doc-ument. And there is also "r-a-pe", “a-pe” and “gra-pe”, "s-ex", and "hom-ose-xual". You would think that the moderators would have corrected this by now considering the number of times this has been commented on but they have not. To be safe, I typically add hyphens in any word that said filter might judge "of-fensive".
• More than one web address will also activate “waiting for moderation”. Make sure the web address does not have any forbidden word or fragment.
Sum Dude routinely updates the list of forbidden words/fragments.
Two of the most filtered words are those containing the fragments "t-it" and "c-um". To quickly check your comments for these fragments, click on "Edit" on the Tool Bar and then "Find" on the menu. Add a fragment (without hyphens) one at a time in the "Find" slot and the offending fragment will be highlighted in your comments before you hit the Post button. Hyphenate the fragment(s) and then hit Post. And remember more than one full web address will also gain a "Waiting for Moderation".
And said moderators still have not solved the chronological placement of comments once the number of comments gets above about 100. They recently have taken to dividing the comments in batches of 50 or so, for some strange reason. Maybe they did this to solve the chronology problem only to make comment reviews beyond the tedious.
“Raison's Filter Fiber© (joking about the copyright)
1. Here's my latest list – this seems like a good spot to set this down, as nobody's posting much on this thread.....
bad letter combinations / words to avoid if you want to post that wonderful argument:
Many, if not most are buried within other words, but I am not shooting for the perfect list, so use your imagination and add any words I have missed as a comment (no one has done this yet)
– I found some but forgot to write them down. (shrugs).
c-um.........as in doc-ument, accu-mulate, etc.
sp-ic........as in disp-icable (look out Sylvester the cat!)
ho-mo...whether ho-mo sapiens or ho-mose-xual, etc.
t-it.........const-itution, att-itude, ent-ities, etc.
tw-at.....as in wristw-atch, (an unexpected one)
va-g....as in extrava-gant, va-gina, va-grant
ar-se....yet "ass" is not filtered!
jacka-ss...but ass is fine lol
p-is.....as in pi-stol, lapi-s, pi-ssed, etc.
o ficti-tious, repeti-tion, competi-tion.
There are more, so do not assume that this is complete.
okay words that you might not expect to be filtered....!!!
I posted something very pro-evangelical christian... and it didn't show up. I tried to post it again, and it said 'You already posted that' – Yet I don't see it showing up here. Clearly there's no delay, since these comments I'm posting are showing up.
I tried changing the spelling "s3x" in my post...... no luck yet!!
Keep trying pal... There are no CNN moderators trying to stop you from getting your..."evangelical message" posted.
Christ... Just look around at the comments. We practically have the whole bible being spouted here.
You have to put on your tinfoil hat before posting or you will be buttbuttinated by the moderators.
Always test drive a car before you buy it.
When you do that, you are losing out on the incredible intimacy that can be gained by two people doing something so special together that they have not done with anyone else. I was a virgin on my wedding night and I can tell you that it was definitely worth it. I know that my wife has never been with anyone else, and she knows that I have not either.
But I don't want people taking MY CAR out for a test run.
Nobody's going to buy the car if you give rides for free.
I don't want to be "bought".
I'm glad that you had a good experience, but you can't dictate how other people will feel, especially since you have no first hand knowledge of what you're talking about. I am now married have no intention of thinking about anyone else, I'm good for the rest of my life. But I had multiple partners before marriage, and in almost every case the s3x was a special intimate experience; because I cared about the person I was with each time (except for one, which was a very regrettable decision that kind of proves my point that you should think about it very carefully and not do anything if it doesn't feel right). If you love someone, being that close to them is an indescribably good feeling, no matter who you've been with before, or how it felt with them. It's different every time and with each person. So, from someone who HAS experienced it, people who don't wait aren't missing out on anything.
I agree. The joy of doing it immediately after marriage pales in comparison to the frustration of withholding yourself for no reason other than abstract reasons of purity.
Do it. Have fun. Don't be forced to regret enjoying yourself by the joyless prudes.
Never marry your car.
Religion and atheism are both equally wrong.
Good luck explaining that...
Yep agnostic is the only rational view.
I totally agree with you that religion is wrong and atheism is wrong. BUT Christianity is NOT wrong. Will never be!
Everyone is an atheist about one god or another. Don't believe in Thor or Odin? Then your an atheist when it comes to them.
So, Mike, your claim is that Christianity is not a religion? Does that not negate their tax free status?
Technically we can never actually 'know' anything. This whole world could be a dream, and so 'agnostic' is more defensible than 'atheist,' which requires absolute proof, or religion, which requires absolutely no proof.
sounds to melike a good reason for continuing to support planned parent hood... wonder what the preganancy rate is among these good christians???
I'm sure it's pretty darned high. The young Christians are "doing it," and they don't believe in birth control, but they can't let themselves be caught guilty or everyone will know. So... abortions!
Michelle – most Christians do believe in birth control.
"most Christians do believe in birth control." The Bible says it's a sin. But hey, believe what you like. There are many Bibles to choose from.
I wonder if the disparity between Christians and non-Christians is largely because religion offers a social haven for many awkward, unattractive, and unremarkable people. Not that all Christians are like that - I certainly couldn't defend that position. It just seems that a lot of serious losers in the single scene were devoutly religious.
Christians make up over 1 billion of the world's population. Take any percentage of that and obviously you have a huge sum. So please do not generalize.
Remember when my Son said, "Hate those that disagree with you and shun them." ?
Ya, I don't either.
Book, Chapter, Verse?
if showing someone the way out of a burning building is hate then we truly have no hope...
All hail lord Stalin, king of all atheists.
While I recognize your attempt at humor (I think), I feel that I should point out that atheism is simply a belief that there are no gods, not a political system, Thereby, atheists would have no unified King so Stalin would be unable to fill that job (even if he wasn't dead).
If the comment's not going to make sense it should at least not make sense in a way that is accurate.
Might as well, though.
Might as well what?
But wait! What happened to promise rings? To abstinence-only educational programs? They don't work anymore?
Calm down, sounds you are about to bust a nut in excitement.
They never worked... I never went through any of that stuff. In fact, I was just a really shy teenager, so boys were only distant on my radar.
Somehow (by the grace of God, I assume), I was surrounded by the right people at the right time in my life... friends who planned to wait for marriage, Christian parents, etc. I never considered not waiting, honestly, until I was in my early 20s maybe (which was when I became a Christian). By the time I realized I had (not easily at all) managed to make it to my late 20s without having gotten married or having had s-e-x, my mindset had to change drastically... "well, you've made it this far..."
I'm nearly 30, and I've walked the line (no lie), but between strong mentors and friendships with married Christians, I have the best resources and guidance to keep me in line... it's never been easy, but there's too much at stake to not wait. Before someone even starts with the crap about how I must be ugly or whatever... shut it, I'm a tall, thin, athletic/active, intelligent professional, so you'll have to take another route to insult me. Thanks :)
Also, statistics... just look into statistics of divorce rates with those who are s-e-x-ually active prior to marriage. A good book for perspective (albeit a bit more extreme than my own perspective) is called "No S-e-x- in the City"...
Waiting for marriage is a horrible idea. Wait till you are in a committed relationship, wait till you feel a genuine "love" for a person, make sure it is with a person who you trust and really believe cares for you, and wait till you know you are ready; those are all important, but waiting till marriage is not a good plan. No matter what anyone's religion is/says, the physical aspects of a relationship are part of human nature and are extremely important. Everyone is different, and has different wants/needs; and if you don't know what your partner's wants and needs are, if you don't even understand your own, and if the two don't line up that marriage is not destined for success. Religion wants people to stay married, be happy, and enjoy their life together? Teach safe s3x, teach responsible s3x, and stop telling people they're evil for making sure that they'll actually enjoy sleeping next to someone for the rest of their lives.
Well said...I'd sum it up by saying that not knowing your initmate self and your partners intimate desires how can you know you are a match?
So in other words, do what feels right? You could say the same thing about drugs.
Bit of a leap there. I didn't say do what feels right; I said know what you're feeling. I don't recommend just going out and doing it with whatever you can find just because you've got an itch, but I believe that before you commit yourself to only one person for the rest of your life, you should make sure you can both scratch each other's backs.
Steve, you are a genius! This teaching that you should get what you want now, is why so many people go deeply into debt. They want something now, so they finance it because they can't afford it. S3x is exactly the same way. They want it now, so they do it and open themselves up to STD's, unwanted pregnancy, and all the emotional turmoil that comes with s3x.
I think Steve is actually against doing it before marriage, he was using drugs as a parrallel to show that both were bad. Also, your "dangers" are the product of irresponsible s3x. I didn't recommend that.
YES! That just about says it all
“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."
Most things in life are extremely hard. Actually impossible without the work of God's Spirit in a believer.
And those are the words of Jesus, the Christ.
The words of Jesus Christ? More like edited, translated Bronze Age hearsay
That was Jesus' allegory about va.ginas. Loose women have wide open veejays you can drive a truck through.
Young and tight is what Jesus liked. He was saying se.x with young girls is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Just look at his mother. She was "molested" before she had even turned 13. She didn't have a bat mitzvah before getting pregnant. Everybody loved little girls back then. Jesus wanted the little children. Don't you dare keep kids from having se.x with Jesus!
Christians need to return to their core values. If they stoned a few of these little harlots, the others would think twice about fornication.
That law was crucified with Christ on calvary.
Yes, good idea. Just like the death penalty has stopped people murdering others.
Yes stone them... That will have young people flock back to the church... Good answer!
You would fit in really well with the Taliban.
Okay, I'm guessing that El Flaco is an atheist trying to make Christians look bad. Either that, or he/she claims to be a Christian but doesn't have any idea what Jesus preached.
so sad see someone asking for my violence against women
Wow, not that I agree with ANYONE being stoned, but why are you only targeting the female in the act? Takes two or are men not held responsible for their actions in your world?
Shelley: You do not agree with ANYONE being stoned? Well, there goes the weekend. And, I bought a new pipe...
I believe Syria called looking for you today.
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.