By John Blake, CNN
(CNN) –True love doesn’t wait after all.
That’s the implication in the upcoming October issue of an evangelical magazine that claims that young, unmarried Christians are having premarital sex almost as much as their non-Christian peers.
The article in Relevant magazine, entitled “(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It,” cited several studies examining the sexual activity of single Christians. One of the biggest surprises was a December 2009 study, conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, which included information on sexual activity.
While the study’s primary report did not explore religion, some additional analysis focusing on sexual activity and religious identification yielded this result: 80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults (18 to 29) said that they have had sex - slightly less than 88 percent of unmarried adults, according to the teen pregnancy prevention organization.
The article highlights what challenges abstinence movements face. Movements such as “True Love Waits,” encourage teens to wear purity rings, sign virginity pledges and pledge chastity during public ceremonies.
Yet many of these Christian youths eventually abandon their purity pledges, Relevant’s Tyler Charles concludes in the article. Tyler talked to people like “Maria,” an evangelical woman who said she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex.
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But she said she started having sex with her college boyfriend when she turned 20 because nearly everyone, even most of her Christian friends, were having sex.
It seemed everyone in my life, older and younger, had “done it.” In fact, I waited longer than most people I knew and longer than both of my sisters, even though we were all Christians and came from a good home.
Relevant theorizes about why it’s so hard for so many young Christians to wait, including the saturation of sex in popular culture, the prevalence of pornography and a popular “do what feels good philosophy.”
Yet the article also asks a question that rarely comes up in discussions about abstinence movement. Relevant notes that in biblical times, people married earlier. The average age for marriage has been increasing in the U.S for the last 40 years.
Today, it’s not unusual to meet a Christian who is single at 30 - or 40 or 50, for that matter. So what do you tell them? Keep waiting?
Scot McKnight, author of “The Jesus Creed,” and "One.Faith: Jesus Calls, We Follow," acknowledges that young, single Christians face temptations that their counterparts in the biblical age didn’t face.
He tells Relevant:
Sociologically speaking, the one big difference – and it’s monstrous – between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when you’re 13, you don’t have 15 years of temptation.
So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying?
"True love doesn’t wait after all."
That or it doesn't exist in the first place. At least that is the conclusion one could easily come to by looking at the divorce rate in this country, highest in the world mind you.
Which reminds me, idealism is NOT your friend.
The divorce rate is just reflective of the degree of moral decay in this country. It's hard to believe how far America has slipped.
"The divorce rate is just reflective of the degree of moral decay in this country. It's hard to believe how far America has slipped."
Hey Mr Negativity ashole according to the CDC the divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population. Yeah, we are in such moral decay.
Well this country is finished George. Economically and demographically speaking, this Empire of ours (which was made on the blood of millions of innocent people we killed for domination) is finished. I'd write more about that, but there is already a ton of literature on it if you know where to look (Zerohedge, MiSH, MaxKeiser, Gonzalo Lira, The Downward Spiral, Decline of the Empire, etc.) A few minutes with Google will show you really just how far down we have gone, and I'm not even talking socially speaking.
Google "20 Things The US Leads the World In" to start to see that picture. Symptoms? Well if a patient had this many symptoms I'm sure his doctor wouldn't give him more than a month to live. This is the permanent fall of the West, and it was orchestrated.
"Hey Mr Negativity ashole according to the CDC the divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population. Yeah, we are in such moral decay."
We lead the world. Nuff said.
@SDF: This is why we need to get our country back to God.
@Yo!: Actually, I'm not negative at all. I bring Good News of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!
Georgie: "Back to god"? When were we with god? When we could own each other? Maybe when a black skinned person and a white skinned person of the opposite gender could not marry? Tell us of your moralistic baseline.
Totally disagree with everyone on this one...
That's not possible.
Lies all lies, All the Youth in my CHURCH that has followed GOD Since birth will wait it's their DESTINY & A Privledge! THIS SIMPLY ISN"T TRUE a real Christian WAITS FOR MARRIAGE. GOD's ALWAYS WATCHING US ALWAys WHO WOULD SIN knowingly before Him. NOT A TRUE DEVOUT CHRISTIAN.
Wow, I hate to say this, but you are seriously deluded if you think this isn't true.
I agree with Kerry. I went to a Christian college, and darn few weekends that my roommate didn't kick me out so she could have her boyfriend sleep over. Since it was known that I had a savings account, I made more than one loan for classmates to have an abortion. Anyone who thinks that good Christian kids ALL remain celibate until marriage is seriously deluding themselves.
Oh, yeah, and the preachers' kids were some of the worst offenders. One of the biggest lechers on campus was a PK.
Hello, I'm reality. Have we met?
There are good Christians out there. If you listen to the people on this board, you'd think that everyone is down in the moral sewer with them.
This is not evidence of good christians, this is evidence of ignorant, uneducated, blind following.
I'm a 22 year old who is waiting. I think the bigger issue is that many christians today has shallow roots and simply are not equipped to handle such temptation. Having a strong foundation in the bible and the power of the Spirit has helped me fight this temptation. Accountability with other believers has been helpful as well.
Yeah I agree. I'm 23 and still waiting. I simply would be unable to follow through with "doing it" because of the guilt I'd feel and wouldn't want to disappoint my parents and fellow Christian believers I'm in constant contact with. I can't imagine the shame I'd feel.
Come back and tell me all about what a great idea this is when you are 35. Imagine this: 35, unmarried, and still waiting. Or perhaps 35 and divorced (70% of divorces are brought about by women, so you have less power here than you imagine). Reality has a way of winning in the long term. Simply put, you are mortal. You may think you can wait forever, but you can't (and if you did, it would make you miserable eventually).
I'll say it again – idealism isn't your friend. But just because you can't deny your humanity forever and you perhaps do sin, that doesn't mean God will shun you forever. Forgiveness and redemption is what we are about. We remember the smaller things we did wrong so we don't think ourselves perfect – so we can forgive, help, and take care of others despite their mistakes or imperfections. Even if you lived a perfect life, that mountain would be a lonely place. Don't let idealism blind you. The world is beautiful because of its imperfections, not despite it.
I recently got married (at 29 years old) to an amazing man. We were both virgins until the wedding night, and I can't tell you how thankful I am to know that we both waited (even during the long years before we met, when neither one of us knew who or what we were waiting for). I know that so many people in the world don't understand, but it's seriously the greatest thing in the world to know that my husband and I can share something with one another and *nobody* else on the planet knows what it's like. That's as intimate as two people can possibly get!
I applaud your decision to wait and I know that one day your wife will be so blessed by your faithfulness in the meantime!
The author obviously missed the 60's and 70's. These boomer articles about the immorality of the younger generations make me laugh.
Now that's the truth.
Another difference is that father-daughter incest was far more common in biblical times, when a girl's virginity was considered to belong to her daddy (see Lot and his two daughters in Genesis 19:30-38)
Paris, a quick reading of this passage reveals that this is in no way an illustration of "virginity belonging to their daddy". The passage says:
One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
If that's the case, how is that common practice of incest?? Why did they have to get him drunk beyond comprehension in order to accomplish this?? And why were they the ones pursuing it, not them?
When they are saying "as is the custom all over the earth", they are referring to having children to preserve the family line as the custom. They are not saying incest is custom practice or custom. However, the story of Lot happens at the same time as Soddom and Gommorah. Lots of illustrations of indecent practice are written in the Bible about them, but that clearly does not mean that the Bible is saying it's OK.
There are methods of writing in the Bible. There are prescriptive writings, i.e. God saying, "You should or should not do x, y, or z".. .then there are narrative, descriptive writings like this. Much of Genesis is simply a historical account of things that happened, and they illustrate what people did whether what they did was wrong or right. It's an honest account of people's actions. Just because it is describing something that someone did, it does not mean it is condoning the thing that person did. It is simply providing an honest history of humans, warts and all.
Insert unattributed statistic HERE, that makes me look really cool and everyone else like fools...
What a stupid article. People never waited they just covered up the fact, now they don't care.
That statement is not true. Both my wife and I waited until our wedding night. We both participated in true love waits as a youth and made the commitment before Our families, church, friends, and most importantly before God. Actually on our wedding day one of my wife's gifts to me was a frame with the card she signed and the ring she wore to symbolize this commitment. So yes people wait and don't cover it up and it is very hard and tempting at times but we knew we made a promise to God.
Absolutely true!. Blame the internet. If anyone is waiting.. it's probably not by choice.
Afoster: I am thinking the majority (if not the vast majority) of people getting married have not waited. i don't know if stats for such exist (or be credible). It is a concept that is losing steam
I have no quams with people who choose to wait. If that is their life choice, then it is their life choice. I just think it's wrong that those like me (and like rick said), the vast majority who chose not to. My wife and I both had multiple partners before we met each other. But we were both educated as the safe means for having a se.xual relationship with others. Never had one night stands or anything like that. And when I make love to my wife, it's out of pure love because she is my partner that I will be with till we pass. I don't need a god to tell me that.
My problem with most of the christians on here is they want to place blame where it doesn't belong. They want to tell christians who don't wait, that they aren't christians (John 8:7) and condemn them to he.ll. They want to blame it on the end times. They want to place blame everywhere, other than the fact that people (christians and nonchristians alike) are learning that they can have se.x safely, in a non-destructive way withouth being immoral or harmful to themselves or other people.
who choose not to-and get blasted for it.
I accidently left that part out, ha.
I am really impress with the commets in here
You have to try the shoes on before you buy them. Simple truth.
Secular morality at its best.
Spoken like a true proponent of bronze age morality
Yep. It's a fact that people who marry as virgins have a higher divorce rate. Go figure.
only reason for the higher divorce rate is because they got married too soon. Wait till your 30. should be a law. And also must have at least 10 partners before marriage. just sayin'
And dumb b-roads like nyc legal gal wonder why women are constantly cat-called and why r-ape is still a prominent issue in 2011. Guess they'll just never figure out; can't blame them for a single-digit IQ.
R-ape away, please, guys - they by all means deserve it. And please. Show them no mercy whatsoever. Put them in a coma if you have to.
George...this is God speaking. Learn to relax and enjoy life, man. I can take of myself...I really don't need to you fight for me. Really, I don't. Do everything in Love. Peace.
Because religion is a living state of hypocrisy silly, that is why they aren't waiting. And why do you think they aren't waiting "anymore"? They never waited, they just lied about it before.
and now fewer and fewer people the boogie man drivel that georgie spews
fewer and fewer people believe the boogie man drivel was how it was supposed to read. yet, folks like georgie continue on with their fear based faith (which is more like subservience than faith)
"They never waited, they just lied about it before."
Do you have any sources for that or are you just making it up as you go along?
do YOU have sources for your claim that they WERE waiting, or are you just making it up as you go along?
I didn't make any claim, but Steve did. As you atheists love to point out ad nauseum, the burden of proof is not on me.
sorry, georgie boy, your whole argument is that we have fallen morally since the early 70's (one time you said 70 and one time 72). it is up to you to establish that this baseline actually existed. ball's in your court, pendejo
@Rick Actually, I never read the part where George made that claim. Probably because you made it up. Moron.
For lack of wanting to call a spade a spade..if you just used a little bit of your reading ability you would see how georgie has made this claim a few times. Be careful, putting that foot in your mouth must not taste very good, does it?
Rick, here are some facts that show the moral decay in America:
"The marriage rate has fallen nearly 30% since 1970 and the divorce rate has increased about 40%.
Ahlburg and DeVita, "New Realities," 4-12."
I poked around on the internet and found that in 5 minutes. You can do a simple search yourself and find all the evidence you need of moral decay.
An additional fact:
In 1970 ho.mo.s.e.x.uality was illegal and it would have been unheard of to suggest h.o.mo.s.e.x.ual marriage.
This decay is what happens when you divorce procreation from s.e.x.
You equate that with moral decay?
How is procreation being divorced from s-e-x?
Apparently, you feel that locking people up for CONSENTUAL ACTIVIITY is a moral stance.
Its hilariously naive to think that those statistics tie into morality at all.
Morality is a ridiculously complex and effervescent concept that thousands of years of philosophy have struggled with. Not only do you not supply any reason why those stats tie into morality at all, no solid reasoning exist.
"In 1970 ho.mo.s.e.x.uality was illegal and it would have been unheard of to suggest h.o.mo.s.e.x.ual marriage.
This decay is what happens when you divorce procreation from s.e.x."
Hey moron it's because they found that everything written up to that point was done by bias and prejudice people. DUH! It's called civil rights that is why they want to get married, they are normal people, it's not a mental illness, its not a choice and it can't be voluntarily changed. Only bigots like you who don't know the FACTS make stupid claims like yours.
"You equate that with moral decay?"
Absolutely, I do. That's the heart of moral decay in America. Many people will be burning in hell over s.e.x.ual sin. It is one of the main reasons why we are losing God's favor. It is also one of the reasons why Muslims hate us.
"How is procreation being divorced from s-e-x?"
Since the advent of the pill, people now have recreational s.e.x whereas before the best they had were con.doms that were rightfully illegal in many states and weren't very reliable. By divorcing s.e.x from procreation leads to "if it feels good, do it" types of s.e.x. Contreception converts all s.e.x to unnatural s.e.x.
"Apparently, you feel that locking people up for CONSENTUAL ACTIVIITY is a moral stance."
Yes, if it's sinful consentual activity.
"Its hilariously naive to think that those statistics tie into morality at all."
Then you are lost. Ask any Christian how those statistics tie into morality. Do you really want me to start quoting Bible verses?
If you don't have moral standards, you are lost. You are probably one of those "it's moral if it doesn't hurt anyone" types. Well, that type of morality is no morality at all.
wow. the government ain't here to codify anyone's religious beliefs. if you want a theology, go to iran.
apparently, georgie boy, you feel that the only morality is "christian" morality. this makes you a pompous punk. if you want to whine and complain about being persecuted because of your outspoken christianity, then have at it.
You mention the decrease in marriage and increase in divorce as a sign of "moral decay". Although I agree that divorce is really unfortunate and that some people don't take marriage seriously enough, perhaps it is just a reflection of the fact that people don't feel as pressured by society to get married and stay married. It's no longer shameful for women to not get married in their 20's and have children right away, they can have their own career and choose to get married if they please.
Also, people recognize that if a marriage isn't working out after trying everything, maybe it's better for everyone involved to end it, instead of staying in a miserable relationship due to stigma.
That lack of pressure to get married IS the moral decay. I mean, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
"you feel that the only morality is 'christian' morality"
You betcha. And I make no apologies for it.
Are you saying that people who are not christian are not moral?
The divorce rate is up largely because many divorcees are multiple 'offenders'. My niece is on her thrid marriage and a sister of a friend of mine is on her fifth. Half of all marriages may end in divorce, but how many existing marriages are still first time, only time? The statistics don't report that. And people keep doing this because being with someone is better than being alone. Humans prefer companionship.
You are right. Those rates have gone up, due to No-Fault divorces being legalized in that time frame. What's funny too, you claim it is a moral decay, I say that domestic abuse cases have dropped significantly since allowing people to file for divorce in this manor. But I'm guess georgie that you believe in silencing women (1 Cor 14:34, 1 Tim 2:12) and that men should be in domination of them, correct? I'm guessing you believe that giving women power has probably contributed to the moral decay in this country too, correct? Heaven forbid that women be given the opportunity to escape a marriage because they were being abused and cheated on.
Also, divorce in this country is lowest it has been since 1970, fact.
And now it's 2011, and ho.mo.se.xu.ality is still illegal.
And lastly, do you not believe it's okay to have se.x, even within marriage, that is recreational?
BookGnome Posted on Confession: when I first read comic book coupling I thohgut you meant IRL couple. Luckily, that is not what you meant because having to choose between Stuart & Kathryn Immonen, Amanda Conner & Jimmy Palmiotti, or Jeff & Vijaya Smith would be too difficult.Anyhoo .. My favorite comic book kiss is at the end of Camelot 3000 between Tristan & Isolde/Claire. I just wasn't sure if their relationship was going to end in typical lesbian tragedy or not and read with bated breath. Then to have it shown it such romantical terms as a big bed & flowers everywhere . . Also, the clothes & hairstyles were pretty darn rad.(keeping fingers crossed for lady luck's help in having the winning entry.)
WAIT till you are married, stop FORNICATING and spreading STD's
Nature always takes a backseat to man made doctrine. Didn't you know that?
And also unwanted pregnancies.
George: Are you claiming that married people do not have unwanted pregnancies?
What kind of weird creepy guy stays with a girl who wont put out till marriage!? Guaranteed he is getting it somewhere else. Who doesn't wanna test drive it before you buy it?
A desperate one
Men who truly are trying to follow Jesus, wait. It's very real and I'm sorry that you don't see that every day.
Men who respect the women they are with. A self respecting woman knows she does not have to "put out" to be loved.
You are right, a self-respecting woman doesn't have to "put out" to feel loved. On that same note, if she does feel loved, there is no reason for her not to express it physically with her partner. Or, as you so politely phrased it, "put out"
There was a time when guys who were constantly trying to get into a girls pants were called creepy. My wife and I dated for five years and waited until marriage. What kind of girls have traded true romance and being respected for putting out just to please a jerk?
What kind of girls have put off an important part of being a human to comply with translated, edited bronze age stories?
One erroneous assumption floating around here seems to be that girls don't like se.x and they have it just to satisfy their boyfriends. They may not be as continuously hor.ny but I can assure you that they can get quite aggressive when the mood strikes. That's where our effort comes in, to get them in the mood. Treat them nice, make them feel good and mutual satisfaction is very likely. Whether a man or women has se.x outside of a long-term relationship is really a personal matter. I married the only woman I ever had se.x with. But we sure as heck did not even consider waiting until marriage and I am very happy that we did not wait.
They arent waiting because more and more are realizing it is foolish to hold out for a fairytale or mythical being.
And life is pointless and we're just here to die? Created on accident to argue with one another, bury ourselves in debt, pay bills, get depressed and die......do whatever we want, get diseases, illness and die...we're just here to die.... that makes so much more sense...????????????????????
The universe has no obligation to make sense, especially just to comfort you. Go read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series and get some perspective. You are small and irrelevant in the scope of everything that exists, just like me and just like all of us, and that's okay. It really is okay!
"We'll be better off without you, and our average IQ will increase."
As will the collective morality
Were we a godly nation when we could own people?
Were we a godly nation when interracial couples could not marry?
Are we a godly nation when we deny marriage rights to other CONSENTING ADULTS?
Please, keep us all informed.
"You inviting me to leave my own country?" -yes, George. Please leave. We'll be better off without you, and our average IQ will increase.
Don't stop trying. It's not impossible. Yes, the commandment was given in a different society but that does not mean that God changes His mind because we decide to marry later. Perhaps we ought to be getting married somewhat younger. Period. I have been in recovery from an abusive relationship for four years now – four years without a date because the trauma was so bad I couldn't be around men. I'm 30 and a normally wired female. Yes, it's hard, but it can be done. And if we believe in the God we profess to adore, it must be done. And someday it will be worth the sacrifice. I promise.
Exactly. It's one thing to sin and repent, but it's another thing all together to make sinning a way of life. We have become too permissive as a society.
Georgie Boy: Don't stick around on our account
Congrats about getting out of the abusive relationship, Michelle. The old testament god is different than the new testament god. What is appropiate for an agrarian society 2,000 years ago is not necessarily valid for ours now
Those that get married younger get divorced at a higher rate.
"Those that get married younger get divorced at a higher rate."
Did you pull this out of thin air? Where is your source for this?
"Don't stick around on our account"
You inviting me to leave my own country? No, I LOVE America. I will stay and see that she gets back to God so that once again God will turn his favor upon her.
Again, George, where were we a "godly nation"? Does "he" accept bribes so that he won't go all medievel on us?
Contrary to the widespread perception of divorce as a midlife phenomenon, more marriages dissolve before the age of 30 than at any other time. The divorce rate for young couples is more than double the national average. 'The Most Likely Time'
Now that we have that taken care of, Georgie, where is your proof that we are less moral since the pill? Facts, not your opinion. Good luck with that.
"You inviting me to leave my own country?" -yes, George. Please leave soon. We'll be better off without you, and our average IQ will increase.
I'm not inviting you to leave the country, Georgie. Do you have tall buildings where you live? Anxious to see Jeebus?
@Rick. "The old testament god is different than the new testament god."
The old testament had 3 types of laws: 1) Moral: i.e.Love your neighbor as yourself, don't lie, don't murder, don't commit adul.tery, don't steal etc. 2) Civic: i.e. Committing some specific crime incurs some specific form of punishment under the established government of the Israeli nation...and 3) Ceremonial: i.e. you must sacrifice an animal to atone for wrongdoings, and you must do so in a very specific prescribed way, you must wash yourself before doing x y or z activity... and so on.
Civic laws were meant to be applied by the nation and people of Israel as it existed as a theocracy in the old testament. They are a history lesson but are not necessary applicable past that time period for those specific people. Ceremonial laws were established as a placeholder and a for.eshadow of the be-all end-all sacrifice of Jesus. So they were effectively "fulfilled" by the death and resurrec-tion of Jesus, and those who believe and follow the Bible are now free from those laws. That just leaves the moral law as something that remains.
This area is one reason why a lot of people site discrepancy between the old and new testaments, but there is more than meets the eye. God didn't change, and his principals did not change, but some of the circu-mstances around them changed. We can throw away some cultural differences between then and now along with the civic and ceremonial laws, but we musn't throw the baby out with the bathwater by saying that God's moral principals are now moot as well.
Of course, any debate here hinges on whether we believe the Bible is really the written word of God or not. Otherwise, you make a great point – who cares what the Bible says? In regards to that, I posted a reply to a comment you left on my post on 11/30(which I just saw yesterday)... If you are interested. As of right now it's on page 60 of the comments.
Rick: "The old testament god is different from the new testament god." And you know that how? Because people buy into that notion to make it convenient to continue sinning so it becomes OK because "everyone's doing it, this is the 21st century!" God has not changed nor will He ever change - He is consistent, and only He can be consistent because humans are incapable of perfection. Since you're mentioning the testaments, God also said that the world will change and pass away, but not one iota of His law (the Ten Commandments) will ever change. He did not change His commandments - we did.
GEM: Man is the one who WROTE the commandments. To deify this edited, translated bronze age hearsay is absurd
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