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Pastor’s detailed book on sex divides reviewers, sparks controversy
January 6th, 2012
07:10 AM ET

Pastor’s detailed book on sex divides reviewers, sparks controversy

By Dan Merica, CNN

Washington (CNN) – Mark Driscoll, the pastor of a megachurch in the Seattle area, understands the uniqueness of a man in his profession coauthoring a book about sex with his wife. From the chapter on biblical approval of detailed types of sex to the chapter titled “Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers,” the book is far from a timid look at a usually private subject.

And that has struck a nerve with a large swath of believers whose reactions have propelled the book to a trending topic on Twitter and has elicited responses that range from praise to disgust.

“Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship and Life Together” released on Tuesday.  The book was written by Driscoll and his wife, Grace, to, in Mark’s words, “compel married couples to have important conversations about important things.”

In the first half of the book, the Driscolls discuss their own sexual issues using the lessons they learned to discuss how to reignite a marriage whose flame may have gone out. The book’s second half, which is getting most of the negative attention, discusses sex in detail.

In response, religious scholars and writers have blasted the Driscolls’ work on a number of grounds ranging from the logistical to the biblical.

“In the first place, there is a kind of sloppiness and inconsistency to the book…” writes pastor and religion blogger Tim Challies. “Real Marriage reads more like a series of seminars than a cohesive introduction-to-conclusion look at a subject.”

But more than just punctuation and flow, the backlash against the book stems largely from the revealing chapter titled “Can we ___?” The Driscolls fill in that blank throughout the chapter by using different forms of sex and then answering whether the act is biblically lawful. This chapter even comes with a disclaimer, warning conservative readers or readers who “live far away from a major city” that they may want to sit down while reading.

Denny Burk, a Biblical studies professor at Boyce college and popular blogger, writes the chapter is inherently flawed because Driscoll’s interpretation of 1 Corinthians 6:12, his main argument in allowing many of the sex acts, is incorrect. Even more, writes Burk, this chapter could be dangerous.

I think chapter 10 has the potential to wreak havoc in such marriages where one spouse will feel a whole range of taboos to be “permissible” if he can convince his spouse to participate. This to me seems like a recipe for marital disaster, and I do not think the Driscolls’ requirement of “helpfulness” mitigates the difficulty.

And even that that was timid compared to what author and blogger Rachel Held Evans writes about not only the book, but Driscoll in particular. "True maturity,” she writes, “is marked not by how much a person knows but by the wisdom he or she shows in discerning when to speak with authority and when to hold back. And when it comes to maturity, I’m afraid that Pastor Mark still has a long way to go.”

When asked to respond to his critics, Driscoll said he hadn’t read any of the reviews but that “sometimes reviewers will reveal more of their own struggles than actual problems with the book.”

“I am not backing down from it. I am going to stick to my guns on it,” Mark Driscoll said. “This is not just stuff that I have pulled out of my mind. These are issues I have dealt with for 15 years and it is battle tested.”

Seattle pastor returns to Haiti

Mark and Grace Driscoll founded Mars Hill Church in 1996. Though it started out as a single location church, as the congregation grew, Mars Hill became a multi-campus church and now has locations around the Puget Sound region and in California.

Though the scathing reactions have been loud, not all reactions were harsh – a fact that Driscoll notes on his website.

“I am so thankful that Mark and Grace Driscoll wrote this book,” writes Perry Noble, senior pastor of NewSpring Church. “Their approach to marriage, its benefits and challenges, are transparent and challenging.”

This division among pastors and scholars shows the polarization of opinion that boundary pushing pastors like Driscoll have come to embody. As noted by Aaron Armstrong on Blogging Theologically, “Whenever Mark Driscoll talks about sex and marriage, ears perk up. Some listen for ammo (and can usually find it). Others listen for something Tweetable. Still others search for something helpful.”

And in a way, that is how Mark Driscoll likes it. In response to the criticism, Driscoll jokingly said, “you try and write a book on sex with your wife.”

He went on to say that the negative attention is just part of writing a book like "Real Marriage." Looking at himself in that light, Driscoll said the controversy is worth it if marriages are helped by the book.

“I will endure as much criticism as necessary to help as many people as I can,” concluded Driscoll.

- Dan Merica

Filed under: Books • Sex • Sexuality

soundoff (727 Responses)
  1. bubbles

    the Bible may or may not be the word of god, but, the bible is NOT god. the bible (word of god) is NOT god. to worship the bible, is idolatry. now, if you meant to say Jesus is God, then by all means, go right ahead.. but John 1 "Was the word" etc is supposed to be Jesus, not a few words on some scrolls.

    January 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm |
    • buddhabill

      QUICK! Somebody PLEASE tell me what 1 Corinthians 6:12 says! I'll be singing God's praise if He is blessing if there are now two or even (blush) THREE ports of call!

      January 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm |
  2. AvdBerg

    For a better understanding of the definition of the word ‘megachurch’ and what spirit it serves, we invite you to read the items ‘megachurches’ and ‘Saddleback Pastor Rick Warren requests $1 Million in two days’, listed on the Current Events page of our website http://www.aworlddeceived.ca

    The following is an excerpt from the item.

    “Who are these false Christs and false prophets that the Bible speaks of in Matthew 24:24, who speak and use great swelling words that are in opposition to the Word of God?

    They use little snippets out of the Bible of which they have no knowledge, as they are separated from the true and living God and deceive all of their followers (1 Cor. 2:14; 2 Peter 2:17-19).”

    For a better understanding of the false preachers and blind guides that deceive the people, we invite you to read the articles ‘False Apostles and False Christs’ and ‘Rick Warren ~ pastor of Saddleback Church’ listed on our website.

    All of the other pages and articles will explain how and by whom this world has been deceived as confirmed by the Word of God in Revelation 12:9 and they will also explain what mankind must do to be reunited with God and to be able to understand the Bible.

    He that is spiritual judgeth (discerneth) all things, yet he himself is judged of no man (1 Cor. 2:15; 14:37; Proverbs 28:5; Gal. 6:1; Col. 1:9; John 3:8; 5:30; 8:15; 16:8-11).

    Seek, and ye will find (Matthew 7:7).

    January 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      IDIOTS BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm |
    • Keith

      Stephen Hawking believes in ET's. (But it would be too dangerous for us to attempt communications with them.)

      January 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm |
    • AvdBerg

      @The Biible is garbage

      The Word of God is God (John 1:1).

      John 3:19. Mankind prefers darkness (Satan) over light (God), that is only the first problem. The second problem is that the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned (1 Cor. 2:14).

      For this reason do we call mankind everywhere to repent and turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan (whose spirit you are of) unto God (Acts 26:18), without which you will remain spiritually blind and separated from God.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      AV: THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE, NOT GOD. YOUR STATEMENT JUST GOT FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET. BIBLE SCRIPTURE ISN'T GOING TO WIN YOU ANY CONVERTS. FOR EVERY STUPID SCRIPTURE YOU QUOTE, THERE'S ONE THAT NO NORMAL HUMAN BEING COULD IGNORE AND STILL BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE AFTER READING.

      KEITH: ALIENS ARE FAR MORE BELIEVABLE THAN AN INVISIBLE BEING THAT NEVER SHOWS UP. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT THIS GALAXY ALONE IS HOST TO AN ESTIMATED 400 BILLION STARS, THE POSSIBILITY OF ALIEN LIFE EVEN IF ONLY MICROBIAL IS FAR GREATER THAN THAT OF AN IMAGINARY BEING ACTUALLY COMING INTO EXISTENCE.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm |
    • AvdBerg

      @ The Bible is garbage

      We should have written:........................and remain spirtually blind and separated from God like Mark Driscoll, the pastor of the Seattle megachurch.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm |
    • Keith

      It would appear that your ALL CAPS is stuck on there, genius.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm |
    • HotAirAce

      If all Keith is whinging about is the form (all caps), we should assume he is ok with the content. Keith, congratulations on your evolution towards thinking and atheism.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm |
    • Keith

      Remember the 1st three letters of assume are....you can assume you won the power ball lottery, so go ahead and try to collect it. Be very stern and adamant when telling the lottery officials how you won because.....where's captain america when you need him?

      January 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm |
    • AvdBerg

      @ The Bible is garbage

      The Bible was written by people inspired by the Spirit of God and according to the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive (John 14:17).

      The Gospel we preach is not after man. For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ (Gal. 1:11,12).

      Seek, and ye will find (Matthew 7:7).

      http://WWW.AWORLDDECEIVED.CA

      January 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm |
    • Keith

      So Hawking's aliens are visible? Proof please. Why should we assume they're too dangerous to communicate with? Sounds like Hawking's an alienophobe, an ignorant bigot. What's he got against something he's never met? Please state your evidence with credible sources.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm |
    • captain america

      Got your back keith
      there is no place for canadian opinion in America ,we rule the world, canadians show their low self esteem by trying to impress us. Nothing a canadian says is worth a honest pile of dog crap. Hey hotair sculpt a statue of your "queen"with that. To all canadians a "queen" is a male. There's your sign

      January 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm |
    • AvdBerg

      Keith

      The written word is proof thereof, including our website. We have alreay what you must do to be able to udnerstand it.

      Matthew 9:12. They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick (Matthew 9:12).

      Please study what it means.

      http://WWW.AWORLDDECEIVED.CA

      January 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm |
    • Keith

      Thanks captain.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm |
    • The Old Salt

      God bless ye capt'n!

      January 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm |
    • Alfred E Neuman

      What me worry? Not with the good captain around.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm |
    • Keith

      AvdBerg, I'm not sure where you're going with that? I do know this principle though: Law to the proud, grace to the humble.
      Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].
      May I suggest a book called "The Invisible War" by Donald Grey Barnhouse.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm |
    • KeithTexas

      Delusions proven by the deluded.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm |
    • Keith

      Hey Tex, we share the same name....We're practically brothers!

      January 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm |
    • Keith

      Wonder what happend to the_____is garbage? Perhaps he's rounding up evidence and proof? Checking his sources maybe? Funny how atheists are willing to "bet it all" on something that lacks proof just because their atheist guru Hawking says it to be so. Yet they refuse to believe in God? Why don't they hold Hawking to the same standard? Sounds...hypocritical.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm |
    • Keith

      Maybe I hurt "THE ______ IS GARBAGE"'s feelings. Maybe he went to the bathroom. Or maybe he just can't answer. Maybe he is a she.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      KEITH, OF YOU THINK YOU HAVE A VALID ARGUMENT, YOU JUST SHOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT. YOU KNOW THAT HAWKING SPECULATES, RIGHT? HE DOESN'T SAY "ALIENS EXIST. IT'S A FACT." NO. HE SAYS ALMOST CERTAINLY. NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO QUOTE SOMEONE, DO SOME RESEARCH.

      YOU'RE TYPICAL OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR KIND IN YOUR ASSUMPTIONS.

      LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF RAY COMFORT.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm |
    • Keith

      THE ______IS GARBAGE, That's your answer? Seriously? Pretty lame. Hell, anyone can go around speculating on whatever. It takes more faith to believe the fairy tales Hawking does, than it does to believe the Bible. I just don't have as much faith as you, I guess.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      WELL KEITH? WHERE DID YOU RUN OFF TO? TRYING TO FIND HAWKING'S QUOTES TO PROVE ME WRONG?

      HERE YOU GO:

      http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36769422/ns/technology_and_science-space/t/hawking-aliens-may-pose-risks-earth/

      January 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      WHAT A GREAT CHRISTIAN YOU ARE.

      YOU MISQUOTED HAWKING, TRIED INSULTING ME, AND GOT IT SLAMMED RIGHT BACK IN YOUR FACE. YOU'RE FUMBLING HARD. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE ON RAY COMFORT'S SHOW SO I CAN TUNE IN AND LAUGH.

      DEFINE STUPIDITY:

      THINKING THAT SPECULATION EQUALS FAITH IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY YOUR OWN BELIEF IN YOUR FAKE RELIGION.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm |
    • Keith

      Hbr 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:
      Sleep well.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      I'LL SLEEP PERFECTLY FINE BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE IN FEAR OF HELL LIKE YOU CHRISTIANS DO.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm |
    • Keith

      I think any spectators can and should go and read the article on Hawking, perhaps one or more just to get the jist. People are smart enough to arrive at their own conclusions. Bottom line is this: you don't hold your guru to the same standard as the Bible.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:27 pm |
    • Keith

      Rom 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

      Rom 1:23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

      Rom 1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

      Rom 1:25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

      Rom 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

      Rom 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

      Rom 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

      Rom 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

      Rom 1:30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

      Rom 1:31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

      Rom 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm |
    • Keith

      See you later, unless of course you die in your unbelief, in which case I won't be seeing you at all.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:32 pm |
    • Keith

      Oooops my mistake. I guess I will be seeing you one way or the other.
      Isa 66:24 And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh.
      I would rather see you in heaven, though.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      SCIENCE IS THEORY. NOT A FIRM BELIEF. THIS IS WHERE YOUR KIND ALWAYS GET IT WRONG.

      ENJOY LIVING IN FEAR, CHRISTIAN COWARD.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      DAY ONE: GOD CREATES LIGHT
      DAY FOUR: GOD CREATES LIGHT SOURCE

      GOD: "I GIVE MANKIND FREE WILL!"
      GOD: "DO AS I COMMAND!"

      GOD: "I HATE SIN, THEREFORE I SHALL WIPE OUT ALL OF HUMANITY WITH A FLOOD!"
      GOD: "WELL, THAT DIDN'T WORK, I'D BETTER KILL MYSELF THEN."

      January 6, 2012 at 10:47 pm |
    • Fookin' Prawn

      Ok, so, Keith, Alfred and captain are the same person, right? How many alter (or altar, since it's the belief blog and all) egos does HS have? You guys are all doing an admirable job of remembering not to sign every post with 'amen'.

      January 6, 2012 at 11:05 pm |
    • Fookin' Prawn

      Oh, and bible is garbage – you're dressed as David Draiman today!

      January 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm |
    • Keith

      THE____________IS GARBAGE, SCIENCE IS THEORY. Well, is it now? I want you to remember that and to remind all your atheist pals of it, too. Especially when you present it as FACT and PROOF which obviously it doesn't appear to be-at least not now since you backed yourself into a corner. Once you manage to squirm out again, you'll go back on the offensive and the THEORY will magically transform iteself back into FACT and PROOF. Right now SCIENCE appears to be a little weak-kneed, a little wishy-washy-almost as if you can manipulate it to suit your preconceived notions. You appear to have spilled the beans-thus letting down all your atheist pals-they WON'T be happy with you. They'll probably make you write 100x on the blackboard, "SCIENCE IS FACT, THE PROOF IS IN THE SCIENCE". And once your done with that, ponder the verse:
      1Cr 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

      January 7, 2012 at 9:02 am |
  3. Atheism is not healthy for children and other living things

    Prayer is a God given gift

    January 6, 2012 at 8:22 pm |
    • Franque

      ...as much a gift as s3x is.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm |
  4. THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

    UNLESS IT'S BEING USED FOR ROLE PLAY, THE BIBLE DOESN'T BELONG IN THE BEDROOM.

    OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

    January 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm |
  5. Atheism is not healthy for children and other living things

    Prayer changes things

    January 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm |
  6. dbld

    I would suggest that all of you read They Lied to us inSunday school by Ian Ross Vayro and The Crucifixion Of Truth by Tony Bushy If you haven't already(some of you)

    January 6, 2012 at 6:42 pm |
    • Reflecto

      II think that should be spelled "crucifiction".

      January 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm |
  7. practiceofpiety

    http://practiceofpiety.com/2012/01/review-real-marriage-by-mark-grace-driscoll/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PracticeOfPiety+%28Practice+of+Piety%29&utm_content=FaceBook

    January 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm |
  8. Mr Chihuahua

    Believers are a trip lol!

    January 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm |
    • Mike

      Some trips are good. It depends a lot on your ride.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm |
  9. JP

    "Read the Bible, the answers are all there" Really? That's one of the funnier things I've heard today George. The answers clearly are not there when so many Christians continually bicker with each other in an attempt to interpret the passages they read in The Bible. If the answers are there if you're interpretation matches my interpretation.

    January 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm |
    • JP

      **edit: I guess the answers are there, if your interpretation matches mine.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm |
    • chris

      1st Corinthians 7:3-4 "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife."

      Sounds like a recipie for a happy marriage to me. How much divorce would there be if men and women's priority was the happiness of their partner over their own happiness?

      January 6, 2012 at 6:13 pm |
    • Mike

      chris, that quote's about duty, not happiness. If se.x for Christians is just a marital duty, I renounce my belief and will become a buddhist monk.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm |
  10. my2babies

    @george, i think YOU need to read the Word of God (Bible)!

    you have spewed/written many untruths and speak/write as if you have all of the answers...which you clearly do not. you are one seriously, legalistic "christian". i've had a relationship with Jesus since 1991, and i've met many people, such as yourself, who have some jacked-up thinking about the Bible, what it means to be a Christian, and Jesus/God.

    when you do read the Bible, be sure and pay close attention to how Christ loving interacted with people...definitely not the way you are.

    January 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm |
    • George

      I'm sorry, but I don't believe you are a Christian. I think you think you are, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. People like you pull people from the straight and narrow. Read your Bible. You will see that it clearly points out the evil of sin and that redemption comes only from repentance and turning to Jesus.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm |
    • Mike

      Fight! Fight! Who's on top? Uh oh, George is face down in the slam hump position. He's for it in now.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      "No True Scotsman" fallacy, George.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:42 pm |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      What did you expect? George hasn't had s3x with another being in 20 years. Even then, it was all vanilla.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm |
    • sam

      See, apparently George is a One True Christian which is better than other Christians. It's not good enough to be Christian, you have to be Super Christian, like George, or forget it.

      January 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      HELL WOULD NEED TO EXIST IN ORDER FOR A ROAD TO BE PAVED TO IT. SINCE THERE IS NO HELL, THERE IS NO ROAD THAT GOES THERE.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm |
    • scott

      The no true scotsman fallacy does not apply to christianity any more than it applies to atheisim. If I were to call myself an atheist but my actions were contrary to atheism – actions that purport a belief in God on my part, for example – then I would be an untrue atheist. The same applies to Christianity. Christianity has standards of behavior that are spelled out in the Bible, hence one cannot call themselves a Christian without those standards being a part of their every day lives. Therein lies the difference. Scotland does not have any criteria other than birth/residence by which to identify oneself as a Scotsman, so there is nothing a true scotsman would or wouldn't do.

      January 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm |
  11. PRISM 1234

    Yes, we ar truly living in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. But woe is to those who for reason of having darkness in their own hearts call evil good, and good evil!
    My heart and my soul exceedingly rejoice for knowing that the writing is even now on the wall, and God will not allow such evil world to go on forever...

    Our Father who are in Heaven, sanctified and glorified be Your name! Your Kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven!
    ........ And He says "Behold I make all things NEW"

    Blessed are those who keep themselves unpolluted from this perverted world full of corruption and evil.

    But such as this man who calls himself a pastor have only one thing to look forward too: the end described in epistle of 2nd Peter and Jude. It fits him to a Tee!
    The true people of God will NOT follow this impostor!!!

    January 6, 2012 at 5:43 pm |
    • ....

      Hey Ms. Negativity....The sky is falling, the sky is falling .....RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      January 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm |
    • Really

      James 4:11-12
      Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil
      against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.
      There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

      January 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm |
    • chris

      Yes many people pick and choose which passages to believe and they take passages completely out of context because they don't want to give up a cherished sin. We need to remember that God's rules are there for our own happiness. The pastor in this article does seem to be picking one passage of many dealing with s.e.x. God created s.e.x. and he intended it to be a great thing to be enjoyed! What an awesome blessing it is too!!!

      January 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm |
    • chris

      Many who say "Lord, Lord" will not see the kingdom of Heaven, but those who do the will of the father.

      1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm |
    • Mike

      chris, how do you pick which passages to take literally?

      January 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm |
    • Fookin' Prawn

      So, does that make him an...IMPASTOR?

      January 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @Prawn,

      Hahahahahaha! Hippypoet will love that. He loves puns.

      January 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm |
    • KeithTexas

      So, i guess you don't give away any of that P U S S Y. That is truly a shame.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm |
    • Franque

      Franque 1:1 do it into others as they might maybe stick it into you.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm |
  12. paul 1st

    I wonder what some people here think happened to result in so many "begats" in the Old Testament. Beyond this, the Bible is full of stories about randy folks exploring beyond what today would be euphemistically termed a "traditional marriage."

    January 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm |
    • George

      Gotta work fast and take all comers when ya only got 6000 years to make billions.

      Comers, get it.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm |
  13. JohnQuest

    I'm still waiting to hear why God cares about s-ex or anything else people do?

    January 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm |
    • George

      Read the Bible. The answer to all your questions are there.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm |
    • Besmus

      Circular reference, little Georgie. Assume your usual position for your priest.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm |
    • George

      @Besmus

      No circular reference. The OP wants to know why God cares about what people do, not whether God exists. It's all spelled out in the Bible.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:33 pm |
    • chris

      Cmon George, if you really understand the bible you can do better than that simplified answer. Yes, the answers are in the Bible. Yes, you can't take ANYONE's word for it and are required to check the answers yourself, but people need to start somewhere.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:45 pm |
    • JT

      Actually, the bible is pure cr*p. A book of myths written by sheep herders 2000 years ago who thought the earth was flat, etc. can't help you. Only deluded fanatics would think otherwise.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm |
    • lance corporal

      I always say that, I just don't get the hyper focus on s e x, there is soooo much they COULD focus on, what is the deal with s e x..... I simply can;'t imagine that a god would care.... it just seems well kinda childish

      January 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm |
    • lance corporal

      I have read the bible, I even studied it for a while, still don't understand the big deal about s e x

      January 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm |
    • chris

      God's rules are there for our own happiness. I've written three posts describing why, but for some reason they keep getting blocked by the CNN censors.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:56 pm |
    • chris

      Every man is to love his wife as much as his own body. Every woman is to give her husband whatever he asks. Seems like a recipie for a happy marriage to me if everyone followed these rules. These rules are in the Bible.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:58 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @chris

      Prolly has to do with the words you used. If you have the letters "T-I-T" in a row, it'll block it (like in the word Consti.tution) or "C-U-M" (like in the word docu.ment.) Just make sure to put a period or a dash in between them and it won't block it.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm |
    • chris

      Jesus came to fulfill the Old Testament law. Fulfilling does not mean replacing, so some Old Testament law is still in force including rules about having one wife, no fooling around with animals, etc. These rules too are there for our own happiness. What wife could be happy having to share her husbands attention and love? What animal could you relate on an intensely intimate level?

      January 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm |
    • chris

      Thanks for the tip. I used the word s.e.x. in my blocked posts. What's so wrong with that word, anyway?

      January 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      It's just the CNN filter.

      You shoulda seen it. There was an article about ra.pe, and the article used the word several times but we couldn't use the word in the comments.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm |
    • Timmy never really read the Bible

      Chris,
      Fucking Jeebus doesn't like the word sex. If ya pray REAL hard, you get to say whatever ya like.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm |
    • George

      I prayed really hard but I just wet my pants.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      chris, if you are a true believer, you can say tit or Constitution or CUM or even the word document.

      Fuck, you can pretty much say damn near anything you want, if you really pray sincerely to god and you believe. God will make your post happen. But if you don't believe, god's gonna burn you bigtime for lying. Bigtime shit for you -god is a nasty fucker.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm |
    • TR6

      @ George:” Read the Bible. The answer to all your questions are there”

      How about the part where Lot impregnates his 2 virgin daughters with gods approval (god had just taken out Sodom and Gomor for being naughty so if he disapproved of Lot he would have taken him out too)

      January 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm |
    • JohnQuest

      Your answers (I assume they are from your holy book) does not answer the question. Why would a God care about s-ex or anything else we do (including being happy, sad, angry etc...) Your answer was it's in the bible that we should have one wife and that should make us happy, although I don't remember reading in the bible that marriage of any sort should make us happy.

      Have I missed something because it doesn't look like you answered the question (nor is that answer in your holy book).

      Have you consider the following: If Paul and the rest of his men were G-ay the bible would read the it is Better to be G-ay because people would be happier.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      Oh yay! My first imposter!

      January 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm |
    • Franque

      The Bibble does not explain how to make a killer mojito. No, the answers to all my questions are not in the good book.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm |
  14. California person

    Hey David in CA you are correct! It made me chuckle, but unfortunately you are correct!

    January 6, 2012 at 4:59 pm |
  15. WV gooroo

    As a liberal Christian (not an oxymoron) I would like to first of all apologize on the severely misguided views of Christians on this site. All views of every religion or lack there of (shout out to the athiests) should be respected. Dealing with the issue of faith, it will always be an issue until the intangible turns tangible. I think no less of someone who does not share the same views I do. It is a decision I feel in my heart and if an individual doesnt feel the same way, I respect that. Savior taught me to love, serve, and respect others. My Savior taught me to care for the poor. We as Christians should need to start spreading this world with peace, love, and understanding like Jesus did. If you look at the true teachings of Christ and know the landscape of the Biblical times, you will know that Jesus was the biggest liberal of his time. As for this book – it doesnt bother me – and for that fact, if my wife wants to explore something new in the bedroom, I'm not going to consult my bible or this book before trying it out. But if you want to consult a manual, so be it.

    January 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm |
    • George

      Christians need to be preaching about sin. And this book is just pure filth and is leading people to sin by making sinful behavior seem ok.

      January 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm |
    • J.W

      Why should we preach about sin? Sin is not a fun thing to think about. We need to preach the Gospel, and exciting things like peace and love.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm |
    • b-boy

      If sin isn't fun you're doing it wrong.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm |
    • George

      @J.W.

      Christianity is not all about peace and love. Read your Bible. And sin is the reason why people are burning in hell today. We need to point out the error of their ways so that they seek redemption through Jesus.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm |
    • J.W

      Why do we need Jesus to sound so evil? People will not like Jesus if you just say Jesus will burn you in hell. They want to hear the positive message.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm |
    • George

      Jesus wants to burn you in hell. His daddy loves a bbq. And those eternal flames, zowee, god shoulda patented those. Infinite smokies, lotsa sauce.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm |
    • J.W

      I do not Jesus would want that. Plus the meat would get burned and all the sauce would dry up.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm |
    • OhPlz

      "And sin is the reason why people are burning in hell today. We need to point out the error of their ways so that they seek redemption through Jesus."

      Don't you just love the fear tactics, it's hysterical.

      Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn!

      Burnin'!

      To mass fires, yes! One hundred stories high

      People gettin' loose y'all gettin' down on the roof – Do you hear?

      (the folks are flaming)Folks were screamin' – out of control

      It was so entertainin' – when the boogie started to explode

      I heard somebody say

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno!

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno!

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down

      Burnin'!

      Satisfaction (uhu hu hu) came in the chain reaction

      (burnin') I couldn't get enough, (till I had to self-destroy)so I had to

      self destruct, (uhu hu hu)

      The heat was on (burnin'), rising to the top, huh!

      Everybody's goin' strong (uhu hu hu)

      And that is when my spark got hot

      I heard somebody say

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno!

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down, yoh!

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno!

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down

      Burnin'!

      Up above my head I hear music in the air – I hear music!

      That makes me know there's (somebody)a promise somewhere

      Satisfaction came in a chain reaction – Do you hear?

      I couldn't get enough, so I had to self destruct,

      The heat was on, rising to the top

      Everybody's goin' strong

      That is when my spark got hot

      I heard somebody say

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno! (Aah yeah!)

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down

      Burn baby burn! – Disco inferno, yeah!

      Burn baby burn! – Burn that mama down x2 Burnin'!

      MUSIC TURN AROUND (12 bars)

      I just can't stop

      When(till) my spark gets hot

      Just can't stop

      When my spark gets hot

      January 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm |
    • George

      Very funny. Stealing my handle. Real mature.

      @J.W.

      Jesus doesn't want anyone to burn in hell. However, sinful behavior puts people in hell. Jesus wants to save people from the fires of hell. Before you can cure a cancer, you have to diagnosis it and cut it out. The same it is with sin. You have to identify it in your life, repent, and ask Jesus for His redeeming touch.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm |
    • J.W

      If we focused more on the love of Jesus rather than throwing people in hell, I think that everyone would be Christians today.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:32 pm |
    • George

      @J.W.

      But that's not the full message of the Gospels. You can't have the sweet without the bitter.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm |
    • chris

      On what basis do you call yourself a Christian? No man comes to the father except through Jesus. This is God's word. Not everyone who says 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but those who do the will of God. This is also God's word in the bible. If you reject God's word then I wouldn't define you as a Christian based on how the Bible defined someone who has received the grace of Jesus/God.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:52 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @George,

      I'd say you need to go and look at the character of Jesus. Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors (the lowest of the low in that society), he was kind, gentle and forgiving to prost.i.tutes. Even when he was being crucified, he begged God's forgiveness of the people and forgave the thief by his side.

      Jesus was about love. John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

      The Gospel's message is about redemption and a reconciliation of man and God. It is not about "turn or burn." It is about love, not condemnation.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:15 pm |
    • Timmy never really read the Bible

      Jeebus never said anything about people burning in hell. You made that up.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm |
    • George

      @DamianKnight

      Yes, Jesus did eat with sinners. He came to save sinners. He did not, however, say that it's ok to continue sinning. Indeed it is, as you put it, turn or burn.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @George,

      That method of evangelism has proven not to work. If you just run up to people, waving the Bible around, judging them and saying, "Get right or get left! Turn or burn!" you will alienate people and actually drive them further from God's Truth than towards Him.

      THIS is why Jesus told us not to judge. Because it drives people away. Oh you will certainly know a tree by its fruit, but that is to judge whether a person is worth following.

      Jesus showed us the way. By love, humility and service do we bring people to Him.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm |
    • TR6

      @Geroge: How about that part in the bible where Judah does his daughter in law Tamar after god kills her first 2 husbands
      Genesis 38

      January 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm |
  16. b-boy

    So I need a book to tell me the proper way of screwing my wife? Scary. I'm guessing this is not the Kama Sutra.

    This book is no surprise to me. Evangelicals live in their own universe. They live in a place where everyone in a God-fearing, non-drinking Christian. There's no swearing. They vacation in Branson and Dolly World. They have Christian Rap and Christian Rock. They replace popular culture with their own versions (Mountain Dew T-shirts that say 'Do the Jew!'). They have DVD and Blue-Ray players that remove questionable words and content from their movies and TV shows. Their children are home-schooled for fear of the outside world influencing the brain washing. The rest of us do not exist to them and they cannot make a decision without the Church.

    January 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm |
    • Idioeinstein

      Evangelicals in my opinion, most of them, are 2-faced liars out for themselves milking millions from their gullable "sheep"

      January 6, 2012 at 6:46 pm |
  17. George

    All forms of s.e.x, outside of s.e.x open to procreation within the bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman, are evil and sinful. I think this book is encouraging evil acts of sod.omy. This guy is no Christian. He is a minister of satan.

    January 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm |
    • b-boy

      You sound like you're a lot of fun.

      January 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm |
    • George

      @b-boy

      That's just it. It's not supposed to be about fun. S.e.x is about procreation, not fun. Read your Bible.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm |
    • b-boy

      Then why did God give me a sense of humor (I'll admit a slightly twisted one)?

      January 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm |
    • Trsamilliken

      The Duggers must have it down to a science then, I bet they have "fun" while procreating!

      January 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm |
    • George

      Fun is for god only.

      January 6, 2012 at 5:25 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @George,

      What about a married, Christian couple who does not want to have children? Or a married couple where one of them is sterile? Should they not have se.x?

      January 6, 2012 at 5:40 pm |
    • George

      @DamianKnight

      If they are capable of having children, but don't want them, they should not have s.e.x. Sterile people can still have s.e.x as long as they are open to procreation because they might still conceive. God does work miracles.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm |
    • Timmy never really read the Bible

      So, Georgie, post-menopausal women, and sterile men can't have sex ? What a fucking idiot.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm |
    • DamianKnight

      @George:

      1 Corinthians 7: 1-6 seems to disagree with you: "Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have s.ex.ual relations with a woman.” But since se.x.ual immorality is occurring, each man should have se.xu.al relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command."

      You'll notice Paul does NOT say anything about having children. There is only one time either party in marriage should not consent to se.x (reasonably), and that is to devote themselves to prayer in the manner of a fast.

      Se.x is a gift from God. It is to bring people together close and shares a purpose of procreation. But se.x is about intimacy, love and unity "for they shall become one flesh." It is where a husband and wife become as close as they can possibly be to each other, in mind, body, and spirit. And as a byproduct of that blissful union, God occasionally blesses that loving couple with another for them to love. A child who is now surrounded by the love of God, and the love of two people who adore each other and the child.

      That is God's intention. Se.x is not about procreation. It's about perfect unity with another human being.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      You are truly beyond the pale, George. You can't believe that people who don't want kids should refrain from s3x. You fraud. Nobody sane believes such c rap.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm |
    • JohnR

      So, no s.e.x for married couples if the woman is past menopause. None for anyone who is known to be infertile. Gotcha, George.

      January 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm |
    • TR6

      @George: How about the part in the bible where David screws his neighbors wife, and then plots to have his neighbor killed. Oh and he ends up keeping the neighbors wife for himself with gods approval (ok they lose one kid but have many more)
      2 Samuel Chapter 11 2-4

      January 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm |
    • THE BIBLE IS GARBAGE

      GEORGE, ARE YOU FOR REAL? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS STUPIDITY OR ARE YOU JUST TROLLING? NO ONE CAN REALLY BE THIS STUPID. IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, THEN HOPE FOR THE WORLD IS LOST. HOW CAN ANYONE BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE? IT'S FUQUING GARBAGE.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm |
    • HotAirAce

      I think George is busy learning about women and menopause. He may have been shocked into silence.

      January 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm |
    • helpthesheep

      Your comment "God does work miracles." – You are tight, it is a miracle you can write and read based on how low your IQ must be.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      Georgie is busy screwing the pool boy. Or his dog.

      January 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm |
  18. Zaphod 2010

    Who cares? Anybody can be a freakin' "star" anymore. I don't need to know what these two do or don't do behind close doors. Just like I don't care about the girl with the eyebrows!!
    Is anything just not interesting anymore? Gawd!

    January 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm |
  19. maniacmudd

    my gosh, these people have to have someone tell them how to EVERYTHING!?!?

    January 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm |
    • Livelystone

      Ha Ha.........Good one, that is funny and I am an adamant follower of Jesus who would never judge anyone for what was consensual in the bedroom.

      (Jesus did not even condemn sinners but only the religious right who are most of the ones doing the condemning of this guy's book)

      January 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm |
  20. Freethinker Seeking Reason

    "Biblically lawful"?! What the #### century are these nutters living in?!

    If it's safe healthwise, mutually respects all involved, and feels good, go for it. No ancient book of fairy tales should be telling us what positions are "allowed".

    This discussion is just absolutely insane. It's the 21st century, people. Wake up!

    January 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm |
    • 2 Pc

      Dude,
      You say don't read ancient books, but I betcha you have a copy of the Kama Sutra under your bed. LOL.

      January 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm |
    • onoudint

      I'm not into religion, but I feel sorry for those who have made it their livlihood. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

      January 6, 2012 at 4:53 pm |
    • helpthesheep

      The Lord is my Shepherd – get it he wants a bunch of sheep to follow him baaaaaaaaaa!!!. Sheep are extremely stupid creatures as you probably know. All in all religion is great it helps keep the intellectually challenged majority in line so the intelligent minority can run things.

      January 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm |
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About this blog

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.