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Is God going to hook me up online? Assessing Christian Mingle and 'soul mates'
January 7th, 2012
02:00 AM ET

Is God going to hook me up online? Assessing Christian Mingle and 'soul mates'

By Thom Patterson, CNN

(CNN) - Has God taken an interest in the computer dating business? Does he (or she) have a username and password?

You might think so, if you’ve seen TV ads for the subscription-based dating website christianmingle.com.

The announcer says confidently: “Find God’s match for you.”

Really? Is God going to hook you up online? Cue the blogospheric debate.

"That's awfully bold to presume they already know who God wants you to marry," tweeted @Jessie_luvJesus recently.

"... SMH [shaking my head] these folks should be ashamed," wrote @EWebb424.

The tagline has been creating a “misconception” that God works exclusively through Christian Mingle, says spokeswoman Ashley Reccord.

Launched in 2001, Christian Mingle now boasts more than 5 million members, 40% of whom joined within the past year, according to the site (Full disclosure: Christian Mingle advertises on CNN.)

Members can register free and are asked to answer several questions based on religious background and personal preferences. Based on those answers, the website offers profiles of potential matches.

A search on the site for “soul mate” among women age 18-80 came up with 1,000 profiles, including one from Florida.

“I’m in search of the man God has for me,” writes the 35-year-old woman. “I’m looking for my best friend, my soul mate, and someone to share life’s greatest moments with.”

A 39-year-old woman in Colorado Springs, Colorado, wrote, “I still believe in true love … a soul mate. I am reasonable. I understand that there is not a perfect man out there … but one who is perfect for me.”

Says Reccord, the Christian Mingle spokeswoman: "God can orchestrate and use the medium of Christian Mingle to allow people to find their match for one another on the site. He may or may not use that means, but he can use that means."

So does that mean the cliché is true, that some matches really are “made in heaven?" Does God, if you believe there is one, pre-select us to pair up as life partners, as "soul mates?"

The Bible has little if anything to say about the matter, according to many religious writers and leaders. But several high-profile religious commentators have strong opinions about the idea:

–Soul mates do exist, according to some religious voices who cite the Jewish Talmud.

–Many Christians believe God helps people create their own kind of soul mates.

–Some say the Bible's "language of sexuality" supports the concept.

–Islam rejects the notion of soul mates, according to Muslim leaders.

–Many say belief in soul mates has negative consequences and can even be harmful.

Some of those warning about the dangers of the soul mate idea are Christians.

"If I get to heaven and I hear God say he had someone picked out for me, I'll believe him," says Lisa Anderson, host of "The Boundless Show," the evangelical Christian group Focus on the Family's podcast for young adults.

"But it seems that this soul mate idea is really breaking up a lot of marriages and it's keeping a lot of young adults single."

Anderson says that believing in soul mates sets up two possible worst-case scenarios: a revolving door of marriages or a lifetime of being single.

Many young adults, she says, make this mistake: They think if they marry their “soul mate” then the marriage will be easy and wonderful. Then if the marriage turns rocky, game over; they suddenly decide they've picked the wrong mate. The marriage ends and they return to square one, searching for someone else to fill the soul mate role.

On the other hand, searching for a soul mate can be tragically intimidating, to the point of indecision.

"We're seeing young adults – X-ers and millennials - absolutely paralyzed and unable to get to marriage because they want to do it right," says Anderson. "They don't want to be their parents' generation ... the largest divorce generation in history."

Yada yada yada

But other evangelical Christian opinion-makers back Christian Mingle’s idea of an divinely ordained match.

"I would be scared to jump off a theological cliff and say we’re intended for one specific person," says Christian author Dannah Gresh. But based on the Bible’s “sexual language,” she doesn't dismiss the possibility.

The Old Testament’s original Hebrew text uses the word "yada" to imply the act of sex, says Gresh.

However, yada doesn't necessarily mean having sex in a literal sense, says Gresh. It means "to know," "to be known" or "to be respected."

She says yada biblically links the concepts of sex and the soul. "Sex is about a soul connection in its truest form," says Gresh, giving credence to a possible connection between God and the soul mate concept.

Not quite, says Bible scholar O. Wesley Allen of Lexington Theological Seminary. "The intimate knowing implied in [yada] is created through the act of sex, not as something that leads to union," Allen says.

A biblical companion to yada is the Greek word "ginosko," says Gresh, which is found in the New Testament. The Bible's original text uses ginosko to describe an "intimate soul connection between a husband and wife in the act of marriage," she says.

But she says the Bible also uses ginosko to describe a deep, intimate connection with God.

Gresh is giving too much weight to these words, Allen says. The fact that these words are used in dual contexts does not imply - or even suggest - the possibility of divinely ordained matches, according to Allen.

Gresh stresses that she does not believe God has intended matches for us. "However, I think there can be a really good theological argument made for exclusivity - once you have found someone you choose to love," she says.
On this point, says Allen, Gresh is on strong scriptural grounds.

A soul mate and a spare

Judaism, meanwhile, specifically includes the concept of soul mates in the Talmud, a collection of writings that constitute Jewish civil and religious laws.

According to the Talmud, before a soul comes into the world it is paired with a bashert, or first match, which is the first soul that you’re supposed to end up with, says Rabbi DovBer Pinson, of the New York-based IYYUN Center for Jewish Spirituality.

“If everything works out you’ll end up with that person,” says Pinson. Jewish tradition also includes a “second match” for every soul, which also could end up as a soul-mate relationship.

The names of everyone’s first and second matches are written down, “We just don’t have access to that information, because they’re written down in the spiritual plane” – or heaven, Pinson says.

The Kabbalistic tradition, rooted in Jewish mysticism, spells out clues to recognize whether your partner is your soul mate. If a partner is helping you overcome your negative traits and negative challenges while helping you pursue your positive traits, that person is your soul mate, says Pinson.

“It means these two souls originate from the same soul root and they’re meant to be connected to each other,” he says.

The Islamic faith, meanwhile, rejects the soul mate concept. "The words 'soul mate,' that you are meant to be with this person forever, there is no concept like this in Islam,” says Imam Mohamed Magid, president of the Islamic Society of North America.

Infinite knowledge allows God to know which partners end up together, but it’s up to people to sustain their marriages and stay together, Magid says, because “the concept of a soul mate in Islam would put the fault of divorce on God."

Are you telling me to 'settle?'

Shaunti Feldhahn and her husband, Jeff, have created their own industry with their popular books, required reading for Christian premarital counselors at thousands of churches.

But she says their marriage, which has produced the million-sellers "For Women Only" and "For Men Only,” was not necessarily preordained.

"If I'd gone to a different graduate school I may have never ended up marrying my husband," she acknowledges. Feldhahn says there probably isn't “one perfect soul mate” for each person. For her, the bottom line is that "whoever you end up with ... God knows what the eventual outcome of your life is going to be."

The flip side of that is God has also given people free will.

“We have every right to screw it up if we want to - and sometimes we do,” Feldhahn says.

However, if couples follow God’s general principles about relationships, it’s possible they can enjoy the same benefits as so-called “soul mates,” she says.

Don’t focus too much on the search for your perfect mate, according to Feldhahn, focus on leading a Christian lifestyle and things will work out fine.

As for Christian Mingle’s “God’s-match-for-you” tagline, Feldhahn says it could mean “Meet the person who’s going to end up being your perfect match - because that's what you're going to make it."

Is Feldhahn telling single folks to stop searching and to “settle” for the best person available?

“No,” she says. “That implies that the person cannot be the person you need. If you both live by God's principles, you will both become the people you need to be.”

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Christianity • Islam

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soundoff (2,002 Responses)
  1. sqeptiq

    If 60% of members have been there for over a year, then it doesn't seem to be so successful at finding that "match." I would think a "God" would work more efficiently.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      "I would think a God would work more efficiently". – and that's your problem. You "think" God should work the way you believe He should. And how is the rest of your life working out for you? You have it all under control, everything going just EXACTLY the way you planned it decades ago??

      No it's not, and you know it. Stop lying.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm |
    • Scott

      @bldrrepublican... Of course he "thinks"... if god did in fact create him, he intended for him to think because he gave him the capacity to do so. You question the validity of gods creation when you in fact say that one should not act in such a way that god clearly designed us to act. I may question god's existance (as he would have me do), but you question his competence which seems hardly justifiable.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      @Scott – God didn't "clearly design us to act" one way or another. That is the flaw in your argument. He designed us. Period. Then he gave us the capacity to act any way we wanted – "His way" or otherwise. The choice is YOURS. Stop blaming God for the decisions mankind has clearly made.

      If God wanted, He could have made us without any choice at all – like a flower, who has no choice but to bloom in the spring and die in the fall.

      He didn't.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm |
    • What ?

      "Free will" has been debunked. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI1624SwYnI)

      January 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm |
  2. Lookaround

    I posted this in response to a specific thread about the business of religion – I hope it encourages a few original thoughts. Please try to shape any insults as coherent and rational thoughts – thx

    Religion as a (very successful) business.....
    Go to any major city or any town or village in just about any country and look at the buildings. Where is the money/wealth flowing to? In nearly all cases it is a church/temple or mosque. The surrounding area may be rich or poor but the religious building is usually the grandest around. Why is that?
    The economy of religion.....
    Cost of goods sold ..... Virtually none – no tangible product!
    Cost of labor ...... Virtually none, most people volunteer their time at no charge.
    Cost of product failure (returns)..... None – I want a refund that afterlife you sold me didn't exist!
    Original material/Intellectual property required.... None
    Tax due on profits..... None.

    Religion is the most successful business model throughout the history of mankind – the evidence is all around you regardless of the flavor or brand of the religion. Go to Rome, Mecca, any major city or just drive down your suburban neighborhood to see what a great business it is.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:17 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      You are forgetting one BIG "customer" of this business – the PEOPLE! That grand building doesn't "belong" to any one person. It belongs to EVERYONE who uses it regularly. And most (if not all) churches allow use of their facilities by the community AT LARGE – even those who don't volunteer a DIME or a second of time.

      That building stands not only for all the current members of the church but (primarily) it is there for the FUTURE members. If you want some of it – get out of your car and walk in. Get to know the people. Come back again the next week and ENJOY the fruits of someone else's labor, if that's all your after, because it was done for the community. It was done for you.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm |
    • What ?

      Bldr,
      Have you asked a Roman bishop to get married in his cathedral, and told him you were Jewish, or tried to schedule a community discussion about abortion ? D-

      January 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      @What-
      Have you ever gone to the city park or the municipal building and attempted to provide a live demonstration of kama sutra?

      Same concept.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm |
    • What ?

      No church allows use of it's facilities by "the community at large".

      January 7, 2012 at 3:03 pm |
  3. Kathleen

    Why is CNN quoting a hate group like Focus on the Family? Was Fred Phelps not available?

    January 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm |
    • SciGuy

      Your evidence of Focus being a hate group?

      January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • SciGuy

      As I suspected, you have none.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm |
    • LinCA

      @SciGuy

      You said, "Your evidence of Focus being a hate group?"
      http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2005/spring/a-mighty-army#10

      January 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm |
    • SciGuy

      Good try, Linca. If you want to put some evidence here, do it. I could feed you dozens of links supporting Focus as well. Just give me a piece of evidence of their hatred, if you can.

      January 7, 2012 at 3:46 pm |
    • LinCA

      @SciGuy

      Try this:
      – All gods are fabrications of man
      – The christian god is also a myth
      – The "word" of the christian god is therefor a fairy tale
      – This fairy tale is used to justify hate against homosexuals by FOF (just check their website if you want to see their despicable use of the bible to demean and incite hate against gays)
      – This makes FOF a hate group

      By the way, just in case you are wondering, anyone who uses religion to discriminate against others is a despicable piece of trash.

      January 10, 2012 at 2:09 am |
  4. David, CA

    I can just imagine the first date; discussing who they hate more muslims or gays.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm |
  5. pelegrim

    Most people simply don't want to believe that our universe could exist without some kind of god behind it all. There is absolutely no proof of god, but whatever gets you through the day. And if this is a basis for commonality between two people, I guess it makes sense for those who believe. I choose a more rational, less deluded path.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • SciGuy

      You are the more deluded. God has declared his glory in the heavens, and written his law in your heart. Your failure to yield to his evidence makes your delusion all the worse.

      January 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm |
  6. Andrew

    I would like to apologize to the world for the "christian culture" that does not represent Jesus Christ. Christian Mingle makes me sick! Why “Find God’s match for you.” Thats why.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm |
  7. Jim

    I am a Christian and have been for 30+ years. I have gone through a lot of stages, and have grown a lot as I have cooperated with God (which isn't as frequent as it sounds). When I first came to know Jesus, I went to church. I was really screwed up, and some churches seemed to screw me up more. Things seemed shallow. But then again I was shallow. As I read the bible, it seemed like the apostles usually started out shallow and screwed up, but finished very different. I wanted to finish different (which I now consider grace, a miracle, and evidence of God's love). God convicted me when I was looking for a wife, that I was trying to keep control of the situation. I relented, and began just to pray for an introduction, and for me not to be so thick headed when it came. It did some. Then I was faced with knowing all that marriage was supposed to be and knowing that I wasn't up to the challenge. I heard someone say that they had to pray a lot when they disagreed with their wife, and rely on the fact that God understood everything about His creations perfectly. That would come in handy later when my mom got alzheimers. 12 years later, due to misdiagnosed postpartum depression and an apparently unethical Christian counselor my wife and I divorced. It took the longest time for me to wrestle with the question of why God would have me pray and wait, and introduce me to my wife, knowing that we would divorce 12 years later. I still don't have all of the answers, but I trust God again, and now in my late 50s I am giving Him the opportunity to lead. This time, however, He has told me that I need to take risks. I don't have to have assurances that someone is "the one", just that He is loving. And I can be thankful for our 12 years of marriage, as I have a good friend (my ex-wife), and a wonderful son.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm |
    • Scott

      Thats a truly touching story about how god, the church, and your wife let you down completely.... But astonishingly, you still think they are all your friend. Thats called being brainwashed by your tormentors.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm |
    • Rainer Braendlein

      @Scott

      You comment is pretty disgusting. Get off!

      January 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm |
    • Kathleen

      You described it perfectly. Funny how all these Christians who get married to the one that God chose for them ... end up divorcing God's choice a few years later. This god has a pretty poor record of success.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
    • Scott

      Oh I guess I touched a nerve... can't point out how evil christians are. I guess you'd tell a surviver of one of the murderous crusades launched by your religion to 'get off'... can't have reality and facts interferring with your "self love fest".

      January 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm |
    • kingnpriest

      Scott, once again you demonstrate your ignorence of the things of God by equating evil historical religious people with real Christians. Please seek God and read the scripture for yourself before making generalized assumptions!

      January 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm |
  8. WC

    Perhaps if he existed.

    January 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm |
  9. Norps

    Sad xtians are so unmarketable in real life they have to resort to the internet to find anyone willing to tolerate their madness.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      It's no different than all the athiests and New Age Holistic crystal-worshipping zen-yoga freaks you discover on secular sites, who routinely have no problem experimenting with any sort of "being" or "object" (person, animal, plant, rocks, moon, etc) all in the name of "living life to it's fullest" (presumably because they believe there is nothing greater than what they see just beyond their nose).

      Talk about delusional...

      January 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • Godfrey

      Why are some of you atheists so reflexively mean? I ask this as a fellow non-believer.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • David, CA

      Maybe it's because of all those nice "christians" showing up to protest funerals, sweetly judging others that they know nothing about, and bullying gay kids to the point of suicide that gets under his skin.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm |
    • BldrRepublican

      @David- There are "crazy" people of every walk of life. Just because someone says they're Christian doesn't mean they are living the way God wants.

      Just like there are come bicyclists who know the rules of the road, and some that are absolutely clue-free about it. I can't lump them all together and say "all bicyclists are ignorant of the the laws" – just like you can't assume all Christians engage in what you describe. Think.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm |
    • kingnpriest

      not everything that calls itself a Christian is one. The people who picket funerals, and bully people are not real Christians. They simply take the name of Christ when not really His. Same goes for the Catholics in the inquisition and the crusades, and any other crimes of humanity you want to try and apply to Christ. Don't let fake Christian groups keep you from becoming reconciled with the Living God through Jesus Christ! Blessed is the man whose sin is forgiven and whose iniquity is remembered no more!

      January 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm |
  10. oneSTARman

    I don't see anything wrong with CHRISTIAN Dating Services any more than any other kind. HOWEVER – When I hear a Radio Station or a Dating Service or MILITARY DICTATORSHIP claiming to be a DISPENSARY of GOD'S WILL – I Cringe.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm |
  11. Michelle

    In Genesis 2:22 God "brought" Eve to Adam. He didn't just plunk her down in the garden and let "fate" happen. I believe God still does this today. I grew up in NM. My husband grew up in Virginia. We each had plans to attend different colleges but ended up at the same one in Oklahoma. My best friend in the dorm knew my husband from back home and introduced us. We've been married 25 years this April! You can't tell me God didn't orchestrate that! I have never referred to my husband as my 'soulmate' because I think too many people put too many meanings on that word. My husband is my best friend, my lover, my parenting partner, my everything a human can be for another human. We've had ups and downs in 25 years of marriage, but we are firm in believing divorce is NOT an option.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm |
    • Rainer Braendlein

      In Genesis 2:22 God "brought" Eve to Adam.

      How pleasing. I agree with you.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm |
    • David, CA

      And sometimes God brings Steve to Adam. Get over it. It happens, it does not harm you, and God rolls his eyes to the childish reaction you have to the gay people he creates.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
    • nooneknows

      Ok, I won't tell you "god didn't orchestrate that", I'll tell you that the Easter Bunny orchestrated it.
      And guess what? Absolutely nothing changes!
      (except for the name of the imaginary being)
      You just want there to be some great power overseeing things. It'd be nice, I must admit, but it's still false. Get over it.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • Chrism

      David,

      Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what is improper.

      Romans 1:26-28

      Only in the above sense can I agree with you that the God of Abraham brought you or any gay "couple" together.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm |
    • What ?

      Rainer,
      You forgot the part where Genesis says the god brought all the beasts and paraded them before Adam, and none "proved" to be a suitable mate. LOL

      January 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm |
  12. Wanderer81

    I want my soul mate to be the same as I like my coffee...big, bold, black, fragrant, and strong. (Me: early 20s Caucasian from Milwaukee, HT. 5'8; WT: 130)

    January 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm |
    • Wanderer81

      ...and I can bench my body weight.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm |
    • Wanderer81

      ...she needs to be built like Monique for it to work.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm |
    • SciGuy

      If I was a pipsqueak 130, I wouldn't brag about being able to bench my body weight. If you can't bench at least 180, move along to the wimp section.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm |
  13. What ?

    "theoretical theories in physics that replicate nature"...what the hell does THAT mean ?

    January 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm |
    • fda

      Basically it means that if you create a meter stick to replicate the standard meter stick in London, you would have error when you go to measure.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm |
  14. be

    Of course God creates soul mates. He created mine....we met on a gay chat line 6 years ago and have been blissfully married for 4 years. It has been a match made in heaven!

    January 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm |
    • SciGuy

      God creates gays in the same sense that he creates adulterers. We are born depraved. We are responsible to live according to God's laws. One says we shouldn't commit adultery, another states we should not engage in gay acts. Humans break both commands, and in so doing commit sin against their Creator.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm |
    • sgtonestop

      No one cares

      January 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm |
    • Eric G

      @SciGuy: So, based on your post, we are supposed to be gods best creation and all of us are broken right out of the box?

      As George Carlin said: "I would expect a little more from god. This is not the type of work one should expect from a supreme being. This is the kind of work you would expect from an office temp with a bad att-itude."

      January 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm |
    • SciGuy

      Eric, we were good "right out of the box," but we rebelled and fell in our father Adam. Now, yes, we are born 'broken" though that is too weak; we are born in sin, we come forth from the womb speaking lies, there is none good no not one. That is what God teaches us in his word.

      George Carlin, whom I admire for many of his routines (though I don't like his vulgarity), unfortunately is way off the mark on this one.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm |
    • Godfrey

      SciGuy: and you see nothing absurd being "created sick" and then commanded to be well?

      These notions belong to our primitive ancestors. They are no longer worthy of contemplation when we have so many richer questions to ask.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
    • David, CA

      A-men! (pardon the pun!)

      January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • David, CA

      "George Carlin, whom I admire for many of his routines (though I don't like his vulgarity), unfortunately is way off the mark on this one."

      No he's not off the mark- he's just not agreeing with YOUR preconceived, better than though, OPINION. He's pretty much dead on and magnificently, sarcastically so. Sorry reality rubs you the wrong way.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm |
    • SciGuy

      Godfrey, it's worse than you think. We are born *dead* in sins, and commanded to repent and believe. We are literally without hope and without God in this world. If once you realize this, and the doom that therefore awaits you, it may be that you will cry out to the only one who can save you, and that is God who alone can cause you to be "born again" or "born from above." Without that new birth you are hopeless and under God's wrath.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm |
    • kingnpriest

      yes, we are all born with a sinful nature. But at the same time, the "law" of God is written on our hearts. It manifests in the form of a conscience. We know when we do wrong, and have a eery feeling that we are accountable. This causes us to seek after God and a greater understanding of why we are here. God knew we would be in this situation, that is why he had planned before the foundation of the world for Jesus Christ to make a way of reconciliation. He is the only way. Check out John 14:6, and John 3 in the Bible

      January 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm |
    • be

      Right SciGuy – So I guess you're one of the idiots who thinks the "gay agenda" is sinful. Let's see, we are advocating for being allowed to live in a monogamous relationship, in a lifetime commitment, raise our children in peace (frequently children unwanted by their "christian" straight parents, and finally be productive members of our society without fear of discrimination. Wow....what a sinful agenda!

      January 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm |
    • SciGuy

      Be, I didn't address the "gay agenda" at all. But since you brought it up, here's my position, in addition to my above, where I've shown clearly that I believe gay acts are sins. The gov't has no business at all in your $exuality. You are, or ought to be, free to be gay and live gay. You should have precisely the same rights that we all should have, i.e. to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. As long as what you do does not rob me of those three things then you should be left entirely to your choices. By any rational measure, I hardly think this makes me an idiot.

      January 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm |
  15. becool

    I am not sure what's the prob. here; God can be involved anywehre for His children whether thru online or face to face. If we ask Him, He will certainly show us. On the other hand; as far as this article is concerned, the subject is on Christian marriage, now all of a sudden the name of Islam pops up out of the blue; may I know why? Why you don't mention Hinduism? Budhism? Isalm is not by any way has to do with Christianity neither the equivelant, it's a totally different religion and of siginficant minority in U.S. Hope we realize that dangerous issue...

    January 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm |
    • Rainer Braendlein

      Islam is the anti-faith in the true sense of the word. Islam wants to destroy Christianity (there is historical evidence and the Koran makes it clear). It has no own substance. Islam merely means destruction and bloodshed. That is all about Islam.

      Although Islam is bad, let us love our Muslim neighbour, according to Christ's command.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm |
  16. Rainer Braendlein

    Love depends on personal peace of the soul.

    I think, before God can give someone a partner, he needs to develop a well-adjusted personality. First, when the own soul enjoys peace, someone will be able to love his partner.

    In order to get a well-adjusted personality, not a few people need some pastoral care.

    Where to find pastoral care?

    Answer: In a lively congregation (no re-baptizing Free Church), where "Life Together" is practiced. Life together means that pastoral care is not only performed by one man in the congregation, but the members of the congregation take care of each other. It is a kind of brotherhood.Everybody needs care and everybody can take care of the brother's health of the soul.

    I would join a mainline church (Lutheran, Anglican, ... ), which keeps sacramental baptism and teaches discipleship (probably not easy to find).

    January 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm |
    • What ?

      he needs to develop a well-adjusted personality.....so much more Rainer's chances

      January 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm |
  17. A free man

    Some fo the most obnoxious, flirtatious, and teasy women I've met in my life were eveng. Christian.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm |
    • Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son

      One of the most promiscuous girls I knew was the daughter of a Mennonite minister.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm |
    • GAW

      In my Evangelical days some of them were pretty frigid too. One I dated for a few years would have made me a virgin on my first wedding anniversary if I had married her. However many others were very affectionate but with serious issues. Some of the men had issues too. It's good to be away from all that but I cant say that everything is all better on the outside.

      January 7, 2012 at 3:03 pm |
  18. fda

    People use science as the light by which to walk a dark path. There are no theoretical theories in physics that replicate nature with complete accuracies. No matter how perfect the experiment, the theoretical contradicts the empirical. If people actually knew how much error there is in even the calculation of gravity (which is just an average), they would realize creating laws based on laws that already exist like projectiles and collision you would see an exponential growth in error.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm |
    • What ?

      so, exactly what is the uncertainty in the calculation of a gravitational field ?

      January 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm |
    • UncleM

      Complete rubbish. How do you think a spacecraft got to the moon? I guess religion doesn't need to be very accurate to fly a plane into a building.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm |
    • fda

      I would have to do alot of science to tell you that. The calculation of this stuff isnt something you can do in an hour you know. If I were to give you a specific answer Id have to either do a rhetrospective study to find that answer already written or do the calculation myself which would take months since I'm rusty on electromagnetic field calculations.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm |
    • fda

      Id prefer to say man got to the moon, but yeah a spacecraft was involved.

      January 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm |
    • What ?

      And you would be barking up the wrong tree, because Gravity has nothing to do with EM fields. But, by all means keep making a fool of yourself.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:07 pm |
    • fda

      How are a gravitational field and an electric field similar?
      The electrical field force acts between two charges, in the same way that the gravitational field force acts between two masses.

      Actually you're the id i0t by showing your ignorance of physics.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm |
    • Chrism

      Isaac Newton, Johannes Kepler, Albert Einstein, George LeMaitre... all knew God made this beautiful universe.

      "The philosophy of experimental science … began its discoveries and made use of its methods in the faith, not the knowledge, that it was dealing with a rational universe controlled by a creator who did not act upon whim nor interfere with the forces He had set in operation … . It is surely one of the curious paradoxes of history that science, which professionally has little to do with faith, owes its origins to an act of faith that the universe can be rationally interpreted, and that science today is sustained by that assumption." – Loren Eiseley

      ".theological assumptions unique to Christianity explain why science was born only in Christian Europe. Contrary to the received wisdom, religion and science not only were compatible; they were inseparable." – Rodney Stark

      "The fact that science arose at all is powerful testimony to the truth of Christianity." – David A. Noebel

      January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • Godfrey

      In dark ages people are best guided by religion, as in a pitch-black night a blind man is the best guide; he knows the roads and paths better than a man who can see. When daylight comes, however, it is foolish to use blind old men as guides. — Heinrich Heine

      January 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm |
    • Chrism

      "The dark ages were dark only insofar as they were a transformation, from an antiquity steeped in barbarous violence to a peaceful and cooperative enterprise in which science and reason could finally emerge. The light of Christ guided a primitive world through the birth pains of forming a truly just society in which science could flourish. It is always darkest before the dawn." – Y. Truly

      January 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm |
    • Godfrey

      The "light of Christ" has been a blindfold to scientific progress. Please don't pretend otherwise.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm |
    • What ?

      Electromagnetism and Gravity are two fundamentally forces. YOU said you'd have to brush up on your EM skills to calculate the Gravitational field. Apparently you can't even follow your own train of thought.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm |
    • fda

      Gravition IS an electromagnetic field calculation. The only difference between the two is that an ad hoc hypothesis is added to account for the fact that gravity only goes one way.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm |
    • Godfrey

      Can't get over this sentence: "The light of Christ guided a primitive world through the birth pains of forming a truly just society in which science could flourish."

      Religion is the polar opposite of science. The Dark Ages were dark because Christianity had violently stamped out all the splendid advances of the Greeks, the Egyptians...Christians destroyed anything they could find which contradicted their "revealed" knowledge.

      It was only after the Church lost its stranglehold on humanity that we began to emerge from the darkness.

      You really have no clue what you're talking about. Read some history.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm |
    • Chrism

      Godfrey, I disagree and no pretending involved. Just like in Jesus' time when the Jewish political leaders opposed Jesus Himself do I see the middle age church leaders opposing Galileo and science. No it is not religion that opposes science but just like Jesus Christ taught there will be those that oppose the truth. If you bother to remove your blindfold, you will see that Galileo himself was devoutly Christian, and more the true believer, like physicists Newton and Kepler. And indeed the one true God not only created the universe but has and always shall enlighten the minds of those who seek Him. He leads indeed the great discoveries in science. He is the light of Truth. And the glory is rightly His for science, for we are only His creations, fearfully and wonderfully made, looking out upon the glory of His creation. God bless you!

      January 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm |
    • Chrism

      Godfrey, oh no, it is you who should read your history. The ancient civilizations fell to the barbarians both internal and external. It was pagans who persecuted Pythagorus. The internal decay and Goths and Visigoths who destroyed the barbarous Roman empire. It was the church – monks, tirelessly in the middle ages who PRESERVED the writings of the ancients. What they destroyed were the pagan temples. While the world naturally decayed by its own human-led violence, the light of Christ not only led the world to peace, but enlightened the minds of the monastic Christians to preserve what was good from antiquity.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm |
    • What ?

      fda,
      You're making a fool of yourself again. Google fundamental forces.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm |
    • fda

      You should write a book Chrism.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm |
    • Chrism

      fda, thank you for saying this. Again all thanks be to God for all that may be good. I am sure He will bless you for your courage and perseverance to continue sharing the message that others so desperately need to hear. For what it is worth I have been making some notes, particularly on science and faith, and asking God at least for His blessing upon writing something. But again whatever bit of good there may be in it would be thanks to Him. I do again appreciate your saying that.

      January 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm |
    • What ?

      Chrism,
      "who did not act upon whim nor interfere with the forces He had set in operation"
      That is philosophical concept of "Deus ex machina"....very UNCHRISTIAN.
      Science was NOT "born in Christian Europe. Sorry. Study some history. Thus all your little quotes are irrelevant.

      January 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm |
  19. Tamra M Burgess

    I know of someone, Shelley Scott DeJager who used a Los Gatos church to manipulate a man into marrying her – the damsel in distress routine. said she was lost didn't know what to do w/ her life, so Greg DeJager rescued her (the doctor's daughter). 20 years later, her life is blissfully happy. she doesn't have to work for anything, he still pays all her bills and takes care of her and their now 4 kids. so you can use the church to get what you want, even if it starts with a lie

    January 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm |
  20. Rev.

    I don't believe God wants His children to be surfing the web for soul mates. Young adults need to get into church and develop a great relationship with Christ through the church and the Lord will provide you a soul mate who loves Him and the church just as much.

    January 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm |
    • Scott

      Just for argument sake... why does a young person need to go to a church to 'develop a great relationship with christ'? I mean, the guy is dead... A person can 'pray' anywhere, a person can read a book almost everywhere (not driving lol). Why does this young person need to have it all explained to him by another man and community all with their own agendas? Are christians illiterate? Are they slow and have to have everything spelled out for them by someone else? Why does he need a church? Why can't he be a free thinking individual, reading the text and drawing his own conclusions?

      January 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm |
    • Luiz

      Well Said !...Though, surfing can still be good, but the last thing you want to do. GO to Church, always !

      January 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm |
    • Luiz

      Scott, Are you Christian?

      January 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm |
    • Scott

      I don't see the relevance of the question... am I a christian? Define it? I see christians committing evil all the time, but they're christians. But then the good ones say they aren't... till they're the ones doing evil and then they say we're all sinners and god loves us all. None of it is relevant to the question of why another human beings interpretation of the scripture is somehow necessary? Even those that go to a church don't follow the churchs interpretation, so why does the question even matter?

      January 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm |
    • 5thApe

      You god is imaginary. Get over it.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm |
    • kingnpriest

      Scott, the Church (made up of born again believers) is the called out of God upon the earth. The "elect" if you will. They gather together to share and give glory to God.. Any group that is dictated and run by one man is not a true expression of the church. To become a Christian, one must be born again in accordance with John 3, and have received the revelation of Jesus Christ as pertains to salvation. This experience will save you from the coming judgement and you will become an heir of God through Christ! Hope that helps u

      January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • Godfrey

      Scott: It's difficult to inculcate people with absurd notions of primitive necromancy without the pressure of a group setting. People don't become Christians by reading the Bible (in fact many lose their faith after reading Scripture more closely): they only believe because they are "witnessed" by people they love or trust.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm |
    • Luiz

      So your answer is no. The question is relevant because you are giving a non-christian perspective, Scott. And yes, I agree with you, there are bad christians and also cafeteria christians that they don't truly follow Christ's teachings thru His church, but please you are not talking for those who are faithful and believe in Christ Church. If you were Christian, then you would have understood the passage on Matt. 16:18. Young people need to understand this. I still agree on surfing a good christian web as an alternative way to finding a christian spouse.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm |
    • What ?

      Luiz,
      There is no such thing as "a" Christian. There are 22,000 sects of Christianity. Every one thinks they are the "true" one.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm |
    • Luiz

      What?
      There's only One, True, Holy and Apostolic !...Find it.

      January 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm |
    • What ?

      Exactly. That's what they ALL say. MINE is the ONE. HAHAHA

      January 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.