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January 25th, 2012
12:52 PM ET

My take: Reclaiming Jesus’ sense of humor

Editor’s note: James Martin, SJ, is a Jesuit priest, culture editor of America magazine and author of "Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life," from which this article is adapted.

By James Martin, Special to CNN

Here’s a serious question about levity: The Bible clearly paints a picture of Jesus of Nazareth as a clever guy, but he never seems to laugh, much less crack a smile. Did Jesus really have no sense of humor; didn't he ever laugh?

Well, one difficulty with finding humor in the New Testament is that what was seen as funny to those living in Jesus' time may not seem funny to us.

For someone in first-century Palestine, the premise (or “setup” as a comic would say) was probably more amusing than the punch line. "The parables were amusing in their exaggeration or hyperbole," Amy-Jill Levine, a New Testament scholar at Vanderbilt University, said in an interview. “The idea that a mustard seed would have sprouted into a big bush that birds would build their nests in would be humorous."

People in Jesus’ day would probably have laughed at many of his intentionally funny illustrations: for example, the idea that someone would have lit a lamp and put it under a basket, or that a person would have built a house on sand or that a father would give a child stones instead of bread.

But contemporary Christians may be missing the humor that Jesus intended and that his audience understood.

Father Daniel J. Harrington, SJ, professor of New Testament at Boston College, agrees. "Humor is very culture bound," he told me. "The Gospels have a lot of controversy stories and honor-shame situations. I suspect that the early readers found these stories hilarious, whereas we in a very different social setting miss the point entirely."

Let’s repeat that: hilarious.

Or maybe we just know the stories too well. Too many Gospel stories have become stale, like overly repeated jokes. "The words seem to us like old coins," wrote Elton Trueblood, a 20th-century Quaker scholar, "in which the edges have been worn smooth and the engravings have become almost indistinguishable."

In his book "The Humor of Christ," Trueblood recounts the tale of his 4-year-old son hearing the Gospel story of seeing the speck of dust in your neighbor's eye and ignoring the log in your own and laughing uproariously. His son recognized the humor that someone else, who might have heard the story dozens of times, might miss.

There are other indications in the Gospels that Jesus of Nazareth had a lively sense of humor. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is castigated for not being as serious as John the Baptist. "The Son of Man came eating and drinking," Jesus said, "and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard.’ ” In other words, the Gospels record criticism of Jesus for being too high-spirited.

"Jesus and his disciples," said the Rev. Richard J. Clifford, SJ, a biblical scholar at Boston College, "are criticized for living it up!"

After his time on Earth, some of this playfulness may have been downplayed by the Gospel writers, who, scholars say, may have felt pressured by the standards of their day to present a more serious Jesus.

"There were probably things that were compressed and shortened, and some of the humor may have been leached out," Clifford said. "But I see Jesus as a witty fellow, someone who is serious without being grim. When the disciples argue among themselves, Jesus brings wit into the discussion."

Jesus also embraces others with a sense of humor. In the beginning of the Gospel of John comes the remarkable story of Nathanael, who has been told by his friends that the Messiah is from Nazareth. Nathanael responds, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?"

This is an obvious joke about how backwards the town was; Nazareth was seen as a backwater with only a few hundred people.

And what did Jesus say in response? Does he castigate Nathanael for mocking his hometown?

Jesus says nothing of the sort! Nathanael's humor seems to delight him.

"Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit," Jesus said. In other words, here’s someone I can trust.

Nathanael then became one of the apostles. Jesus’ welcoming of Nathanael into his inner circle may be the clearest indication that Jesus had a sense of humor.

Besides, what kind of a person has zero sense of humor? I asked Eileen Russell, a clinical psychologist based in New York who specializes in the role of resilience, how she would describe the psychological makeup of a person without a sense of humor.

“A person without a sense of humor would lead to that person having significant social problems,” she said. “He would most likely have difficulty making social connections, because he wouldn’t be able to read signals from other people, and would be missing cues.”

That’s the opposite of what we know about Jesus from the Gospels. Yet that's just the kind of one-sided image that many Christians have of Jesus. It shows up in Christian books, sermons and in artwork. It influences the way that Christians think about Jesus, and therefore influences their lives as Christians.

If part of being human includes having a sense of humor, and if Jesus was “fully human,” as Christians believe, he must have had a fully developed sense of humor. Indeed, his sense of humor may be one unexamined reason for his ability to draw so many disciples around him with ease.

It’s time to set aside the notion that Jesus was a humorless, grim-faced, dour, unsmiling prude. Let’s begin to recover his humor and, in the process, his humanity.

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Catholic Church • TV

soundoff (1,367 Responses)
  1. He's the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End

    Let go of the hate people.

    January 25, 2012 at 3:36 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      I don't hate you. I mostly pity you. I'll give you another joke to cheer you up.

      A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartenders says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! Where did you get it?"

      The frog says, "Brooklyn. They got hundreds of them."

      January 25, 2012 at 3:40 pm |
    • jimtanker

      LMFAO!!!!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:43 pm |
  2. He's the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End

    "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God"
    -Cor 1:18

    January 25, 2012 at 3:28 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      Game Show Host: "Jesus, this is your life! Do you recognize this sound..." (plays sound of hammer and nails)

      Jesus: Yeah! I can name that tune in 2 notes!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:31 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      1 Corinthians

      Poor Paul is confused. First he says that he baptized no one. Well,
      except for Crispus and Gaius. And maybe Stephanus and his household. He
      can't remember if he did it to anyone else. 1:14-16

      God saves fools and is pleased with their foolishness. 1:21

      God has "chosen the foolish things of the world." 1:27

      If you are to be a good Christian you must try to know nothing. 2:2-5

      January 25, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
    • jimtanker

      I can quote nonsensical bible verses too.

      Ezekiel 23:20
      There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @jimtanker
      Anyone can, they are in the Bible.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:43 pm |
    • VanHagar

      @Jimtanker & Staring Horse...this is actually funny. This article is about Jesus' humor. You then cite verses for how nonsensical they are, and yet you miss the intended humor within the verses. Classic. Jimtanker, the verse you cite is a metaphor for how God sees though who turn their back on him (read the verse just prior): God employs hyperbole to get his point across. Staring Horse–the "foolishness" you cite in verse 21 is sarcasm. The greeks rejecting Paul's message called it "foolishness" and he was simply throwing it back at them.

      January 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm |
    • VanHagar

      sorry..make that "those who turn their back", not "though"

      January 25, 2012 at 4:24 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @vanhagar

      Duh.

      January 25, 2012 at 5:16 pm |
  3. GodIsTheWay

    You people are disgusting and highly offensive.

    January 25, 2012 at 3:23 pm |
    • Pot, or kettle?

      GITW: "You say such hateful things because, being a closet ho-mo-se-x-ual is never easy. You have to deny your own unclean longings just to fit in. I know how it feels to be persecuted, too."

      Pot, or kettle? Which one?

      January 25, 2012 at 3:25 pm |
    • Ever heard of the bible? ...no?

      GodIsTheWay, you might want to try reading the bible. For starters, Matthew 7:3-5

      January 25, 2012 at 3:26 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      My "To-Do" List for 1/28
      ===================

      #1: Push buttons. (check)

      January 25, 2012 at 3:28 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      I showered!!

      Hey, why is is it so hard for Jesus to wash his hair? The shampoo keeps dripping through his hands before he can lather up!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      Uh-oh, I may have travelled back in time three days.

      GITW: I wouldn't bother making plans for the weekend. Just sayin'.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:29 pm |
    • Truth

      Agreed, they are, but they troll these boards everyday just trying to offend because their hearts are filled with hate. Kinda ironic also how they quote the Bible to us. Don't worry though, it's to be expected and unfortunately things will only get worse until they get better. The Bible even references atheists which I also find quite comical. They act like they have some new "logical" belief and are smarter.....oh the irony and hypocrisy.

      Cheers and God bless 🙂

      January 25, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @truth
      You disgust me. How dare you speak your vile insults!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:37 pm |
    • GodIsTheWay

      So you expect to be as offensive as you can and expect nobody to call you on it? Wow. Such hypocracy. Regardless of my faith, I'm a person with feelings and the absolute right to talk about them. I feel disgusted and offended by what you're saying. Get over it, and yourselves.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:37 pm |
    • Pot, or kettle?

      "So you expect to be as offensive as you can and expect nobody to call you on it?"

      Just as other's can call you out on your obvious hypocrisy. How exactly is attempting to insult other's se.xual preferences calling them out on anything?

      Typical christian hypocrite.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:39 pm |
    • *facepalm*

      @GITW – you can dish it out, but can't take it, huh?

      January 25, 2012 at 3:39 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @GodIsTheWay
      You frighten me and hurt me with your words.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:41 pm |
    • jimtanker

      We quote the bible to you because you, like most religious people, dont know whats in it.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:41 pm |
    • northern light

      "You people are disgusting and highly offensive."

      And Jesus said if thou be offended ...turn the other cheek.

      Or in your case it is best you not visit this site, for the comments here are simply an expression of first amendment rights and if they do offend ....then defend your position with reason and logic.....unfortunately that is a difficult task for believers.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:44 pm |
    • GodIsTheWay

      I don't "dish it out," as you put it. I come on here every day, sometimes I post, and normally, when I do, I'm kind and respectful to all of you. However, all I get in return is vitriol and angst. I tire of this place and you people, no matter how kind and considerate one is, if one is a Christian, you just have to attempt persecution.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:48 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @GodIsTheWay
      Perhaps you have died...and gone to.........Walmart! buhahahahaha

      January 25, 2012 at 3:53 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      @GodIsTheWay: You said, "I don't "dish it out," as you put it. I come on here every day, sometimes I post, and normally, when I do, I'm kind and respectful to all of you."

      Like the "kind and respectful" description of "disgusting and offensive"

      January 25, 2012 at 3:54 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      SeanNJ LOL

      January 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm |
    • *facepalm*

      @GITW, I thought lying was a sin. You don't dish it out? Was someone impersonating you earlier?

      "You say such hateful things because, being a closet ho-mo-se-x-ual is never easy. You have to deny your own unclean longings just to fit in. I know how it feels to be persecuted, too."

      Are you really that blind to your own hypocrisy? Scary

      January 25, 2012 at 3:58 pm |
    • HeavenSent

      northern light, you babbled ""You people are disgusting and highly offensive."

      And Jesus said if thou be offended ...turn the other cheek.

      Or in your case it is best you not visit this site, for the comments here are simply an expression of first amendment rights and if they do offend ....then defend your position with reason and logic.....unfortunately that is a difficult task for believers.

      Answer: Typical wrong answer from a non-believer. Turning the other cheek is in reference to stop throwing His pearls to swines. I'd say you have much work to do on your reasoning and logical skills. That's if you don't go and pout in the corner due to your ego being deflated.

      Amen.

      January 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm |
  4. Truth

    I've never seen so many ignorant and uneducated comments in my life. The saddest part of all is that you people actually think you're smart and think you have all of life's anwers.

    January 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      @Truth: You said, "The saddest part of all is that you people actually think you're smart and think you have all of life's anwers."

      You have to forgive them. They're religious. Most of them don't know any better.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:14 pm |
    • Truth

      Your posts are an excellent example of my statement. Nice try trying to turn it around though.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm |
    • SeanNJ

      You're just mad that you're not funny.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Anyone who says they have it all figured out (all religions) are liars. We are not capable of "figuring it out" The Universe / Multi Verse is far too bizarre and vast to pretend we can understand its true nature. What is fun is trying. Looking for truth wherever we can find it.

      Not lies and fantasy and nonsense from thousands of years ago. If there were a creator, what kind of thing is it? What shape does it take, if any, and what made it, etc. etc. Why would anyone give up the true weirdness of nature, the stuff that gives me goosebumps for a bunch of ancient superst.i.tions????

      I say live this life! And know it is not an audition for a heaven that doesn’t exist.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm |
    • lobbing up softballs

      @Truth, don't be bitter. You walked right into that one.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:20 pm |
    • yeahalright

      How ironic. Religious people are the ones who think they have all the answers. People who live in reality on the other hand aren't afraid to say "we don't know."

      January 25, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
    • Jesus Christ

      I am God. I have all the answers.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:47 am |
  5. SeanNJ

    I still remember Sam Kinison's bits on Jesus' return:

    Sam: Jesus, when are you going to come back? The world needs a symbol of peace and love again.
    Jesus: Well...as soon as I can play the PIANO AGAIN, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! I'M THE ONLY SAVIOR THAT CAN USE HIS HANDS AS A FUCKING WHISTLE!

    January 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm |
    • Marilynn

      And right about now sam k is the only one of all of us who knows whether he was right or wrong..

      January 25, 2012 at 3:54 pm |
  6. SeanNJ

    Jesus is hanging on the cross and he calls out, "John! John!" John starts running up the hill only to have an arm cut off by a Roman centurion, and he tumbles back down.

    Jesus continues, "John, come here! I have something important to tell you!"

    John again makes his way up the hill, only to have his other arm severed. He tumbles back to the foot of Golgotha. This happens for a third and fourth time with John losing a leg at each attempt.

    Jesus, getting closer to death cries out, "JOHN! Please! I have to tell you something important!"

    The centurion, taking pity on poor John, carries his limbless torso to the top of the hill and holds him up to Jesus.

    Jesus says, "I can see your house from here!"

    January 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Hilarious.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:56 pm |
  7. Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

    Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him. He asks St. Peter “Where is my father?” But St. Peter says he doesn’t know. He asks the archangel Gabriel “Where is my father?” But Gabriel doesn’t know. He asks John the Baptist “Where is my father?” But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching. Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. “Stop!” Jesus yells. “Who are you?” “Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son.” Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? “Tell me of your son, old man.” “Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know…” “Father!!!!!” Screams Jesus. “Pinocchio!!!!!!!” yells the old man.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:51 pm |
    • yeahalright

      hey completely OT but is that username from the great Adventure Time?

      January 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @yeahalright
      YES!!! You got it. The best cartoon ever. The horse that is actually the creepy Ice King spying on Finn and Jake while they are trying to sleep.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:49 pm |
    • yeahalright

      Hah, yeah brilliant show! Watch it with my son all the time. Much better mythology than the bible too, I might add!

      Oh. My. Glob. Drama bomb!

      January 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      LOL, yeah I watch it with my kids too.

      January 25, 2012 at 4:06 pm |
  8. William Demuth

    The Life Of Brian DEFINES Christ's sense of humour.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:46 pm |
    • Asperger's Spotter

      William, you'd only be uncomfortable in a discussion about humor.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:49 pm |
    • Regis990

      Best Python movie, in my opinion.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:52 pm |
    • William Demuth

      Asperger's Spotter

      Strange, most say my humour is cruel, but few imply I have none.

      I guess you don't understand the Flying Circus?

      January 25, 2012 at 4:07 pm |
  9. hippypoet

    jesus jokes are the best as the either completely offend or make one burst into laughter... i myself love them.

    jesus once jewd me on a debt, i found him roman but i couldn't touch him cause he got himself crowned! what a pric.k!
    be nice, you don't want jesus to get cross with you!
    beware when drinking with the J man, jesus gets hammered with the best of them!
    i wish i could get nailed as much as jesus does!

    i have found however that once a joke is made it becomes more fun if someone like john for instance gets rather upset at them...nothing better. And you know what really blows, i mean besides the air thru jesus's hands and feet, people with balloons! I sure hope i popped his! Or at the very least am equal to say ants at a picnic.....yeah, that'd be nice! 🙂

    January 25, 2012 at 2:36 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:42 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Jesus walks into a motel, gives the innkeeper three giant nails and asks, “Can you please put me up for the night?”

      January 25, 2012 at 2:43 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Why wouldn’t Jesus be good on a hockey team? He’ll get nailed to the boards. That and the illegal headgear.

      Ok I am done. Bless me Father for I have sinned.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm |
    • Observer

      When was the last time you came to confession, my son?

      January 25, 2012 at 2:52 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Ummmmmmm........

      January 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm |
  10. Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

    Christianity: One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously fuking out of hand.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:36 pm |
  11. Rainer Braendlein

    Nobody cracks jokes on a sinking ship.

    I think there was no reason for Jesus to be jokey.

    Let us regard the historical situation, when Jesus preached publically.

    Jesus was about 30 years old, when he started his public service, and Jerusalem got utterly destroyed by the Romans in the year 70 after Christ. Jesus was fully aware of the disaster, which was approaching Jerusalem and the people of Israel (by the way, the Jewish War was one of the greatest disasters of history at all; the Jewish nation got completely destroyed and the Jews were scattered all over the world; even the prices for slaves dropped to a minimum, because the Romans made so many Jewish prisoners).

    Conclusion: Jesus was aware of the coming doom of the Jewish nation. There was no cause for the smallest joke.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:32 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Jesus, the sad clown

      January 25, 2012 at 2:40 pm |
    • Oh Yeah

      Well, the Gospels that were written after the fall of Jerusalem would account for the mood. By that time, of course, the authors knew what had happened, so their rendering of Jesus was understandably serious.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:44 pm |
    • James

      Ok, for the moment, let's accept that he knew what was coming. Do you really kick a person when they're down? Don't you think those people needed something other than doom and gloom preached at them when they are about to get the crap kicked out of them? Don't you think they'd need something to buck them up and prepare them for all the suffering to come?

      Now, I get the impression that you have little or no sense of humour.

      Do you have trouble relating to people? Do you not understand social situations as they arise? That is the only reason I can fathom for your seemingly complete lack of empathy towards humour. Jesus had to have some sense of humour, otherwise how could he possibly get through all the crap god had planned for him? You gotta laugh!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:09 pm |
    • honestly

      If he foresaw Israel's doom, then Israel's doom was all a part of God's plan. Therefore, God wished Isreal destroyed. With omnipotence and omniscience, one can't really be dissapointed or saddened by the results.

      That is unless you are suggesting that God was watching helplessly.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:52 am |
  12. Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

    Found this on another site, made me laugh out loud for real:

    A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

    The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car - and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

    The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

    January 25, 2012 at 2:32 pm |
  13. John

    The Buddha was a riot.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:29 pm |
  14. Rainer Braendlein

    The New Testament is mainly written for those people of this world, which admit their need for deliverance.

    Jesus was mostly occupied with people, which needed a physician both for their soul and four their body.

    Imagine, you would be ill and suffer from severe pain, would you expect your physician to crack jokes?

    Never.

    Jesus pitied the sick people and helped them, and thus he did not want to crack jokes.

    John the Baptist had told the people that they are sinners, which need a Redeemer. And he told them that this Redeemer was Jesus and they should believe in him.

    A sinner, who seeks for forgiveness and expects his Redeemer, doesn't expect a man, who cracks jokes.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm |
    • RD

      I actually enjoy a doctor who can make me laugh.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:29 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      You said "crack" huh.....huh huh.....huh huh.....

      January 25, 2012 at 2:29 pm |
    • Drew

      You must be a lot of fun at parties

      January 25, 2012 at 2:30 pm |
    • James

      I am an atheist that was brought up in the Anglican church. It took me a long time and a lot of thought and reflection to come to the conclusion that there is no god.

      However, I have always admired the man that the myth has been based on, as a good and noble person. Maybe he came up with the Golden Rule, maybe not; it is attributed to him, and I still think it is the best, most perfect basis for morality that has ever been stated.

      Ok, 'nuff about me.

      Jesus would never pity the sick; that's something that is done when you feel you are better than someone else, and that is CLEARLY against the 2nd Great Commandment.

      And have you never heard of the "healing power of laughter"?

      You are taking the stereotypical modern Christian position of self-appointed moral superiority. Jesus said that all were equal, and that those who thought themselves better would actually have a harder time getting in to heaven.

      So, come off your high horse and get a grip. Whether you or I am right about the existence of a god, show some humanity and empathy for those in need.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:03 pm |
  15. Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

    Jesus and Moses were strolling by the Red Sea, when Moses nudged Jesus and said, "Psst. Hey, Jesus, I've still got it."

    Moses turned towards the Red Sea and lifted his staff on high. The angels began to sing, the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted. Moses lowered his arms and, with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus.

    Jesus scoffed. "Moses, my boy," said the Messiah, "I have still got it." And with a flourish of his robes, Jesus stepped onto the waters of the Red Sea and began to stride across without so much as a ripple.

    But to Moses' amazement, halfway across the water, Jesus suddenly began to sink. He splashed into the water and began to choke and flounder as the waves tossed him around. Moses grumbled at Jesus' sillyness and parted the water once more. Moses helped Jesus back to shore, as the Saviour hacked up salt water.

    When they had finally reached shore, Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it, Lord. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet."

    January 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
    • Revirrev

      Jesus and Moses are playing golf, and Jesus is missing all kinds of shots. Moses is trying to give him advice about what iron to use, but Jesus ignores him saying, "I can just go out on the water trap and pick up the ball." And he keeps whacking away. Somebody sees him walking on the water again to pick up his ball, and says, "who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses says, "Oh, he is Jesus Christ, he just thinks he's Jack Nicklaus."

      January 25, 2012 at 3:40 pm |
  16. yeahalright

    Hah check this out guys I'm only going to appear here in this one small geographic place, to a few thousand people. And just this once. Everybody else, everywhere else on the planet, at every time before and after...well you guys are going to have to persuade them I existed. Yeah, my Dad could send verifiable signs & miracles to everyone in every epoch that he actually exists, as opposed to just you lucky few. But he won't. Isn't that funny!!! I for one can't stop laughing.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm |
  17. Non-Believer

    I see alot of comedy here. You have no evidence of his existence, and the only offering is that of a book, based on faith. There also was a book on Peter Rabbit, Huckleberry Finn, and I guess the list goes on. You are to a certain degree ignorant. You ignore science and only accept truth that makes you feel comfortable. Some of you don't believe that dinosaurs ever existed, while others believe that man is the center of the Universe. Yes...there is so much comedy when dealing with ignorance. I thank your ignorance that you have something to believe in...otherwise you may not have any moral compass. The only problem I find with you is the fact that you won't leave others alone that don't believe as you do!

    January 25, 2012 at 2:18 pm |
    • HeavenSent

      Non-Believer, you babbled the following post “I see alot of comedy here. You have no evidence of his existence, and the only offering is that of a book, based on faith. There also was a book on Peter Rabbit, Huckleberry Finn, and I guess the list goes on. You are to a certain degree ignorant. You ignore science and only accept truth that makes you feel comfortable. Some of you don't believe that dinosaurs ever existed, while others believe that man is the center of the Universe. Yes...there is so much comedy when dealing with ignorance. I thank your ignorance that you have something to believe in...otherwise you may not have any moral compass. The only problem I find with you is the fact that you won't leave others alone that don't believe as you do!

      Answer: Non-Believer, God called dinosaurs Behemoths read Job 40:15-19. "Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron. He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him."

      Children in whom [was] no blemish, but well favoured, and skilful in all wisdom, and cunning in knowledge, and understanding science, and such as [had] ability in them to stand in the king's palace, and whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of the Chaldeans.

      Daniel 1:4

      O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane [and] vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

      1 Timothy 6:20

      And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

      Mark 16:15

      He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

      Mark 16:16

      And he shall judge the world in righteousness, he shall minister judgment to the people in uprightness.

      Psalms 9:8

      The earth [is] the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

      Psalms 24:1

      P.S. Not our problem non-believers don’t know HOW to comprehend Jesus’ truth while professing they’ve read the Bible numerous times.

      P.S.S. Time to get new material to put us down for believing Jesus' truth about life and the hereafter ... because you don't want to acknowledge nor change your BAD BEHAVIOR aka sinful ways.

      Amen.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:06 pm |
    • Relax

      You're right, there are many hypocritical Christians that ignore evidence of evolution, etc., but to be honest I have never met an individual who is more "preachy" than an atheist. Both believers and non-believers use flawed arguments, while agnosticism seems like the lazy, non-thinking man's way out.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:20 pm |
    • Wow, really?

      "but to be honest I have never met an individual who is more "preachy" than an atheist."

      You have atheists knocking on your door telling you how you won't burn for all eternity if you don't think just like they do? Sounds really annoying.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:22 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      HeavenSent

      Thanks for adding to the comedy! You are always a riot.

      1. Thank you for alway reminding people of what they wrote as they may have forgot even though is....oh nevermind.
      2. Thank you for proving Non-Believer's point by describing the Flinstones as Jesus' truth.

      ROFL!!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:25 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      Hey, could anyone else go for a Brontosaurus burger! Dino!! Supper!!!

      January 25, 2012 at 3:27 pm |
    • yeahalright

      heavensent – yikes. just yikes. I hope you're doing like colbert and mocking people by acting like them. Because if not...wow.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:40 pm |
    • Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out

      @yeahalright
      No, HeavenSent really is that stupid, and she is not afraid to advertise that fact. She has never cracked open a non-fiction book in her life.

      January 25, 2012 at 4:02 pm |
    • booboo

      wowreally. ive actually had athiest in my face telling me their going to kick my teeth in for being a "jesus freak". when i said nothing remotely close to jesus. hows that for scary. Id rather have someone knock on my door. athiests are such hypocrits and WAAY to religious for their own good. violent little bunch

      January 25, 2012 at 4:34 pm |
    • yeahalright

      Booboo, false equivalence. Which would you suspect happens more often on a daily basis: Athiests threatening to kick jesus-freaks' teeth in or religious people knocking on doors trying to persuade people to join their particular religion?

      January 25, 2012 at 5:13 pm |
    • HeavenSent

      Staring Horse with Tongue Sticking Out, typical posting insults for not being able to have His truth shown to you as you posted "HeavenSent, Thanks for adding to the comedy! You are always a riot.

      1. Thank you for alway reminding people of what they wrote as they may have forgot even though is....oh nevermind.
      2. Thank you for proving Non-Believer's point by describing the Flinstones as Jesus' truth.

      ROFL!!

      Answer: Typical atheist response staying in cartoon watching mode because they came up with an outdated insult to post. You would think you'd stop your nonsense of posting outdated material from your atheist rag sites to try and disprove Jesus' truth. So, continue ignoring that Jesus had wise men write His truth about dinosaurs, science, why His truth is being preached to all throughout the world, that He is the universe and ALL truth. And you, non-believer, like the rest of us, are only a pebble in the sands of time.

      Amen.

      January 25, 2012 at 6:11 pm |
    • Duh

      “You would think you'd stop your nonsense of posting outdated material from your atheist rag sites to try and disprove Jesus' truth.”

      Duh, the stuff you post is far more outdated. What an idiot.

      “why His truth is being preached to all throughout the world,”

      That’s a LIE

      “like the rest of us, are only a pebble in the sands of time.”

      Yes you are and your babblings will be lost forever in nothingness.

      January 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm |
    • honestly

      Wait... is HeavenSent seriously suggesting that dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time people did?

      Bahahahaha.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:56 am |
  18. Cuddles, Fluffy Kitten of DOOM!

    Jesus' biggest joke: he made it all up so that he didn't have to work. You see, there are no trees in Jerusalem, so carpenter was not a terribly, uh, inspired choice of careers.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • chas

      Cuddles, don't write out of ignorance – especially if you're trying to make a point. Jesus was a carpenter from Nazerus, not Jerusalem.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm |
    • Cuddles, Fluffy Kitten of DOOM!

      Did you mean Nazareth? There are no trees there either.

      Why do we atheists always have to correct the scriptural mistakes of the believers?

      January 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm |
    • EmKay

      Ever heard of trading? Lebanon and its famous cyprus trees were somewhat nearby. Wood could have easily been brought to Nazereth.

      January 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm |
    • Ogre

      EmKay,

      Oh yes, those famous 'cyprus' of Lebanon are even on their flags... and there is a hospital named, "Cyprus of Lebanon"! 🙂

      You are perhaps correct that ancient Lebanon did export CEDAR trees, however.

      (p.s. the tree is 'cypress' - the country is 'Cyprus')

      January 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm |
  19. Reality

    Insanely funny !!!

    Actually, Jesus was a bit "touched". After all he thought he spoke to Satan, thought he changed water into wine, thought he raised Lazarus from the dead etc. In today's world, said Jesus would be declared legally insane.

    Or did P, M, M, L and J simply make him into a first century magic-funny man via their epistles and gospels of semi-fiction? Most contemporary NT experts after thorough analyses of all the scriptures go with the latter magic-funny man conclusion with J's gospels being mostly fictional humor.

    January 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • WhiteisRight

      I "touched" your mom last night. She liked it so much I "Touched" her over and over again.

      January 25, 2012 at 2:41 pm |
    • honestly

      Its more likely Jesus got his hands on some magic mushrooms and spent the rest of his life trying to explain to everyone his trip.

      January 26, 2012 at 9:57 am |
  20. JT

    I don't find anything humorous about "worship me or burn for eternity".

    January 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm |
    • RD

      You're right, that's not humorous. But then again, the dynamics of people is that we're not always funny, but sometimes intensely serious.
      However I'm glad that Jesus never said what you put in quotations 🙂

      January 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm |
    • Marilynn

      Worship me or burn in hell is completely made up by people like you, so youll have a reason to not follow god. Funny though that your own made up rule is what you think god is about.. Such a shame

      January 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm |
    • yeahalright

      Hey Marilynn – what happens in your religion when someone dies without having accepted jesus as their lord and savior?

      They burn in hell.

      Questions?

      January 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm |
    • marilynn

      um, actually my religion doesnt deal with that. But i know in christianity accepting jesus doesnt have a thing to do with worshipping all day and night. man, how can you guys talk about things that you have no clue about? no wonder everyones in chaos. arguing with ignorance begets ignorance..

      January 25, 2012 at 4:30 pm |
    • yeahalright

      Fair enough, my apologies for assuming you were christian. However, the original poster said nothing about worshiping all day and night. He/she just said worshiping.

      I don't know how declaring someone your lord and savior isn't worship.

      January 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm |
    • RD

      yeahalright>> declaring someone your lord and savior as lip service isn't worship.
      Matthew 7:21-23 "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. "Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' "And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'
      You have to be perfect to get into Heaven.

      Also, worship night and day is actually closer, as a person's life can be worship.
      1 Cor 10:31 "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God".

      January 25, 2012 at 9:28 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.