By John Blake, CNN
(CNN) – Here's a presidential election prediction you can bet on.
Right after the winner is announced, somebody somewhere in America will fall on their knees and pray, "Thank you Jesus."
And somebody somewhere else will moan, "Help us Jesus."
But what Jesus will they be praying to: a red state Jesus or a blue state Jesus?
If elections are about choices, so is faith. And in Christianity, liberals and conservatives choose to see Jesus in different ways. Some liberals see Jesus as a champion of the poor who would support raising taxes on the wealthy, while some conservatives think Jesus would be more concerned with opposing abortion and same-sex marriage.
Good luck to anyone who tries reconciling their Jesus with the biblical accounts of his life. Even Jesus' earliest followers clashed over who he was and what he meant.
"Jesus didn't leave clear instructions," says Molly Worthern, a history professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who specializes in religious history.
"He was a man who said many things that were quite cryptic. All Christians tend to pick or chose to emphasize some of his teachings over the other."
Perhaps most Christians follow not one Jesus, but many - including a bit of a red state Jesus and a bit of a blue state Jesus. We consulted several pastors and religion professors to come up with this voter's guide to Jesus. Answer these questions, click "Submit" and see where you fall on the red state-blue state Jesus scale:
Take the quiz here.
I have this really crazy atheist idea. How about we elect representatives based on what they are actually going to do in the real world?
Nah, that's stupid. Let's keep choosing them based on their Super Invisibuddy.
Atheists have tortured and murdered more people in the last 100 years than were killed in all previous centuries.
Number of people who have said "my religion demands that I kill you" millions.
Number of people who have said "my atheism demands that I kill you" zero.
And I have slaughtered most of all!!!!
The vast majority of mass murders committed by regimes throughout history have been perpetrated by atheist leaders without conscience or moral restraint. It is the nature of an atheist to be a liar and a murderer. It is what all atheist leaders are known for, no exceptions, atheists given power all do these things.
I sure am glad that I made it past the first grade, unlike that moron truth be told.
And that's why the government of Ja/pan is currently slaughtering the citizenry.
Why you gotta put out the fire we've been stoking against atheism man, such a wet blanket...
Isn't it more fun to believe people are evil when imagining those who don't believe in the same invisible rabbit you do? If I didn't make up lies and spew hate about people I don't even know then i'm not showing absolute faith and fealty to my chosen deity. Why can't you atheists understand that?
truth be told “The vast majority of mass murders committed by regimes throughout history have been perpetrated by atheist leaders without conscience or moral restraint”
Until about 200 years ago there were almost no atheists anywhere in the world. For all of recorded human history almost everyone belonged to some religion or another. So all the torture and murder for almost all of recorded history was committed by theists
I can't believe how the blue states actually think about Jesus. Just look at that quiz. It is a bunch of liberal pablum if I ever saw it. I feel sorry for people who believe that way. They're on a one-way trip to hell and they don't even realize it. But as the pastor says, it takes a lot of souls burning in hell to keep heaven warm for God's people.
evangelical: your god is a petty, vindictive punk. enjoy eternity on your knees.
Translation: if you care more about helping the poor rather than hating Gay people you're going to burn.
"But as the pastor says, it takes a lot of souls burning in hell to keep heaven warm for God's people." I didn't know you attended Hitlers Church... he too was always worried about his Christian friends staying warm and often increased the fuel in his ovens... I'm sure you will fit right in up there in sociopath heaven, where cold and chill still bite but where you can take comfort that those who you didn't agree with in life will be burning in agony while keeping your toes from catching cold... Plus as a bonus you can fall asleep each night to the droning sound of their screams, ahhhh, what a wonderful place for sociopath murderers...
I took the test and answered like I was a greedy inconsiderate jerk. Surprise I leaned towards the red state jebus.
Pew word is of old Persian language called Avesta, meaning, POWERFUL OR FATHER,drawn from word PAW, consisting of five fingers and the Paw, hand, language of hindu Magi's, crook tricksters, prophets ,fortune tellers of hindu pagan origin. visit limitisthetruth.com to learn more.
I find it very interesting that all of you people responding to my posts are comedians, because you really do make me laugh. You are so heartless and clueless that you would actually bite the hand that feeds you.
Your soul is starving yet you refuse to reach out and save yourself. You do not have to believe that eternal damnation is true folks, but it is. You are already dead.
Be ready. Be scared. Be afraid.
Since we're already dead, why do you care? You sound awfully bitter to have truly found the path to salvation...
And you offer only poisoned food.
It's always funny to see the supposed "moral people" condemn others because they won't fall lock step into their religion without question. @Be Ready, you don't give a shit about anyone else, all you care about is whether people agree with you or not.
"eternal damnation is true "
Any verified evidence for this?
Your impending doom gives me a stiffy . . . okay, I never quite gets stiff . . . in fact, it shows no signs of life at all. But it does receive unemployment checks, so I've got that going for me.
You are not mature enough yet to grasp how the Lord works from the inside out. You cannot find Him with a microscope. You cannot find Him with a telescope. He resides IN everything. He IS everything. He communicates with us through messages to His chosen. He talks to you in your prayers.
Why are you frightened children? Why do "act-out" against your Father. He loves you, but He is not afraid to punish the wicked.
ooohh...a proxy threat.....Be Ready...take a 5 gallon container of KY Jelly and your bible.....lube it is and insert it deep into your rectum
As I was asking yesterday before you ran from the conversation. Prove your god exists.
We have all been given the proof of God in the Lord Jesus Christ, there are now none with excuse.
I don't really care what your think troll.
Human, no one wants to accept my open challenge to play Buzkashi or goat dragging game, so I Taliban declare myself a champion goat dragger.
Human have no chance to have peace, Islam without eradication of hinduism, racism and hindu's, racist.
Expect nothing better but mayhem among humanity by following of hinduism, denial of truth absolute, Allah, and following of hindu pagan Mithra ism, savior ism, neither commanded, nor allowed in Islam as a religion, but Theen Allah, consti tution of truth absolute. Foundation of American consti tution.
hindu Mithra ism, savior ism invented little over 100 years after Sydana Mohammad pbh by tribes of Kujar of north Africa and imposition as Fatmid Khalaphit by force by denial of Hidth and Quran, justified by hindu Judaism, pagan secularism to impose hinduism, racism by hindu, fabricated relationship with Family of Syadana Mohammad pbh to justify existence of hindu criminal Kings, a violation of fundamental commandment, human equality under the LA. truth absolute Allah. Cause of conflict among Muslim's and cause of down fall of Muslim's and Islam in Spain.
Sunisim, invented by Turk's by corruption of Quran and hidth to justify existence of hindu King's as Khalipha, after death of Ruler Mohammad, but later renamed, Mehmmat, wisdom of spirit of truth by siblings from his Armenian wife, follower of hindu pagan Mithra ism, savior ism in 13th century.
Christianity, invented by hinduism,. corruption of truth absolute by hindu Pharisees, pagan self centered, follower of hindu filthy pig ism by corrupted Torah, known as Greek Torah, translated and commented by Ben Asheer in 250 AD in Yiddish, secularist, self centered language, also known as Old Testament, part of book of Mithra ism labeled as Bible. A way to justify hindu criminal Kings and self proclaimed Prophets, fortune tellers as god's to rule over humanity.
JUDAISM, Self center ism, pig ism, or Atheism, invented by hindu's pagan's of Egypt by corruption of truth absolute in Torah to Justify hindu pagan Pharaoh's and their hindu pagan Santans, goons as god's to rule over humanity with impunity.
HAVE hINDUISM, CORRUPTION OF TRUTH ABSOLUTE, RELIGIONS AND LIVE WITH MAYHEM, AS HAS BEEN THE CASE FROM hIND, DARK AGES TILL TODAY. FOLLOW THEEN ALLAH, CONSTI TUTION OF TRUTH ABSOLUTE, ALLAH , GOD AND THE LORD, FOUNDATION OF CONSTI TUTION OF AMERICA TO HAVE PEACE AMONG HUMANITY. To learn more please visit truthisthelimit.com
word hindu is based on Latin word hindered, negative, Hun, great, Han, to be in greatness, hin, to be negative to both of them, hindu, a noun in negativity, hinduism, way of negativity.
Visit limitisthetruth.com to learn about hinduism, criminality of hindu's, criminals to impose hinduism, racism on humanity by hinduism, corruption of truth absolute by force.
ID thief, goon.
I believe that the Religious Right loses with either candidate . . . and that may be the most fun thing about this election!
Okay, having Obama win and the Dems keep Congress would be HILARIOUS! Glenn Beck's head explodes, Tea Party dingbats scream and cry, dogs and cats living with each other . . . , it would be a Twinkie... thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
While the Presidential election will be close, I don't expect the Democrates will lose control of the Senate, nor the Republicans the house. Obama seems headed for a razor slim win.
So business as usual. The GOP resumes its role as the party of 'No'. Nothing gets done and they blame the Democrats.
And we limp along. It's a sad prospect, though better than a Republican win with the American Taliban calling their marker on the newly elected to implement a defacto theocracy.
I must agree. It's like having to choose between near beer and haggis. There's no good choice, but there's a really bad choice.
What i think? I think Cnn loves to throw gasoline in a fire.
Good for business.
the best octane to use for the book of mormon is ...?
Quiz fail. Like our current presidential election we're only given false choices.
Poor leadership is Gods curse on a nation.
"Poor leadership is Gods curse on a nation."
Awww, it's the disgruntled Evangelical Fortune Cookie Co. writer's boot camp flunkie.
nope is false
Snopes is wrong.
tbt. You obviously refer to the 8 years of W, but what did the nation do to deserve that?
The sins of America have come home to roost. Obama has laid an egg, a proven loser and Mitt will give W's reign the appeal of being the "good" old days. We the people are left without even the hope of a decent leader.
tbt. So what did the nation do to deserve the punishment of 8 years of W?
The great and terrible Satan is no joke. Even as we speak and breathe, the deceiver is infiltrating every point of good in the universe, bending and poisoning it to his will. A day never passes when God does not feel passion and loathing for his fallen angel, and even now would seek to rehabilitate him.
It's like that scene in Ghostbusters, right? Where they're all in jail discussing the architectural plans of the building and Bill Murray starts singing, "So be good for goodness' sake...whoa-oh-oa, somebody's comin'..."
Funny stuff. Thanks for the laugh.
Uh oh – someone's done woke up Carrie's grandpappy.
You don't think you will burn if you don't worship the one true Lord? Where did you get that idea, certainly not from anything written in the scriptures. You are very poorly educated friends. Take some time to sit down and enjoy the good book. Find Jesus. Find salvation.
If it is not a joke then why am I laughing so hard?
@Be Ready – Dec 21st...so be ready. Heh.
This article should be in The Onion. This is too funny.
Next article. Do you believe in a red state Santa Claus or blue state Santa Clause. Which, is, of course, a trick question since he's all about redistribution of toys so clearly socialist.
Duh that's why he wears a red suit. First time on this planet?
How about "None of the above"?
The goofy quiz was missing a third box for each of the answers.
Also the "submit" button didn't do anything.
Some information on the real Jesus:
Only for the new members of this blog:
JC's family and friends had it right 2000 years ago ( Mark 3: 21 "And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.")
Said passage is one of the few judged to be authentic by most contemporary NT scholars. e.g. See Professor Ludemann's conclusion in his book, Jesus After 2000 Years, p. 24 and p. 694.
Actually, Jesus was a bit "touched". After all he thought he spoke to Satan, thought he changed water into wine, thought he raised Lazarus from the dead etc. In today's world, said Jesus would be declared legally insane.
Or did P, M, M, L and J simply make him into a first century magic-man via their epistles and gospels of semi-fiction? Many contemporary NT experts after thorough analyses of all the scriptures go with the latter magic-man conclusion with J's gospel being mostly fiction.
Obviously, today's followers of Paul et al's "magic-man" are also a bit on the odd side believing in all the Christian mumbo jumbo about bodies resurrecting, and exorcisms, and miracles, and "magic-man atonement, and infallible, old, European/Utah white men, and 24/7 body/blood sacrifices followed by consumption of said sacrifices. Yummy!!!!
So why do we really care what a first century CE, illiterate, long-dead, preacher/magic man would do or say?
Ditto for the "believers" no matter what state they reside in !!!
BULL SH IT ALERT
hinduism absurdity written in black letters by some hindu, lair hundreds of years later to hind, invent a Mithra, savior to hind fool humanity in to hinduism, racism. No one ever existed by the name of Jesus, but every hindu pagan Roman King claimed to be Mithra, savior along with his hindu pagan Prophet, fortune teller priest.
ALSO THIS HINDUISM JERK IS , OH HOLD ON – MOM'S CALLING – I HAVE TO PUT THE TRASH OUT – BE BACK IN A WHILE
I think the artists depiction of Jesus will upset the American Christians since he looks almost Jewish...
I liked the states in the halo. Very funny.
Prayer changes things
Atheists and confused souls, you are lost, but as I pray to the heavens tonight you will be in my thoughts and my prayers will be as a stitch in the fabric of God's life.
You would say, "prayer does not help" "prayer cannot be proven" "prayer is a waste of time" but I would say to you, thoughts have mass and mass can move mountains.
Pray, and as you do God will gently hold you in His arms and feel the passion of your soul. He would heal you and love you. He would offer you the greatest gift he can offer. He would be risen for you and penetrate you with His passion.
These gifts are not given lightly however. If you want a happy ending, you must pay first.
Really? You're going to be a cut and paste troll now?
I'm sorry, "Atheism is not healthy for children and other living things", but your assertions regarding atheism and prayer are unfounded. Using my Idiomatic Expression Equivalency module, the expression that best matches the degree to which your assertions may represent truths is: "TOTAL FAIL".
I see that you repeat these unfounded statements with high frequency. Perhaps the following book can help you:
I'm Told I Have Dementia: What You Can Do... Who You Can Turn to...
by the Alzheimer's Disease Society
Thoughts have mass! That is the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long time. You must have to wear lead shoes to keep from flying off into space!
"Ronald Regonzo" who degenerates to:
"Salvatore" degenerates to:
"Douglas" degenerates to:
"truth be told" degenerates to:
"Thinker23" degenerates to:
"Atheism is not healthy ..." degenerates to:
"another repentant sinner" degenerates to:
"Dodney Rangerfield" degenerates to:
"tina" degenerates to:
"captain america" degenerates to:
"Atheist Hunter" degenerates to:
"Anybody know how to read? " degenerates to:
"just sayin" degenerates to:
"ImLook'nUp" degenerates to:
"Kindness" degenerates to:
"Chad" degenerates to
"Bob" degenerates to
"nope" degenerates to:
"2357" degenerates to:
"WOW" degenerates to:
"fred" degenerates to:
"!" degenerates to:
"pervert alert" degenerates to;
This troll is not a christian.
Prayer does not; you are such a LIAR. You have NO proof it changes anything! A great example of prayer proven not to work is the Christians in jail because prayer didn't work and their children died. For example: Susan Grady, who relied on prayer to heal her son. Nine-year-old Aaron Grady died and Susan Grady was arrested.
An article in the Journal of Pediatrics examined the deaths of 172 children from families who relied upon faith healing from 1975 to 1995. They concluded that four out of five ill children, who died under the care of faith healers or being left to prayer only, would most likely have survived if they had received medical care.
The statistical studies from the nineteenth century and the three CCU studies on prayer are quite consistent with the fact that humanity is wasting a huge amount of time on a procedure that simply doesn’t work. Nonetheless, faith in prayer is so pervasive and deeply rooted, you can be sure believers will continue to devise future studies in a desperate effort to confirm their beliefs.
For those of you smug atheists who just love to come on this blog and swing your big "where is your proof" bat around, I have news for you. Christians don't care. You people can indoctrinate yourselves with your lies, but you cannot hide from the big baby blue eyes of the Lord God. He can see ya, He can smell ya, and He can smite ya.
You best wipe the smirk off your face cuz your science and logic don't mean a hill of beans to reality so wake up and smell the sandals folks.
Blue Eyes of the Lord?
Since Christ was a middle eastern Jew, it is highly unlikely that He had blue eyes.
Son of blessed Mary was not of light skin, nor had blue eyes, hindu fabrication Jesus is invented with light skin and blue eyes.
Your hatred for the Lord God is no match for His love for you. I am not your problem. YOU are your problem. Seek Him. Find Him. Love Him. Live for eternity with Him.
Jesus would not have had blue eyes. He was Hebrew- of middle eastern stock.
And you call other folks liars? You, who changes Jesus' ethnicity?
"You best wipe the smirk off your face" Thank you for once again being the threatening frightened child who can't verbally or mentally defend themselves and has to revert to "My dad's bigger than your dad and he's gonna beat you up!" Such a sad little bed wetter you are.
I do not deny "HIM" as my lord and GOD, but you commit bigamy, infidelity to "HIM" truth absolute, lord and GOD of the world in following of hindu pagan trinity, deception in following of hindu Lucifer, denier of truth absolute GOD, atheist.
How do you know you've picked the right religion to follow? Only 33% of the worlds population practices Christianity. Among those, there are many different variants.
Why would any just god punish someone for not picking the right religion out of the many different ones to choose from?
How is it that non-religious people are the indoctrinated ones? We look to evidence, real world observations, and employ the scientific method to better understand the universe. When we find evidence that evolves our understanding of something, we embrace it. We question and seek answers. Our knowledge evolves. The answers you are comfortable with have already been given to you by your 2000 year old collection of stories. You follow your doctrine with faith and without question.
Why do you assume that we have hatred toward any god? Because we question your belief that you have the one truth and that anyone who doesn't believe what you do is inferior? Your post is a good example of the way religion divides the people of the world. The irony is that your message probably turns more people away from your belief system than towards it.
OPEN CHALLENGE TO hINDU'S, ATHEIST, PROVE YOUR hINDUISM, RACISM, OR SHUT UP FOR GOOD.
Gone with the wind, hindu's, deniers of truth absolute, out to hind, fool every one in to following of hindu Lucifer, criminal atheist, denier of truth absolute, PROVE YOUR hINDUISM, DENIAL OF TRUTH ABSOLUTE GOD IN PUBLIC, OR VANISH FOR GOOD, HUMANITY TO LIVE IN PEACE, ISLAM.
Wow. The whiff of bias and Biblical ignorance is strong on this one.
Why does your god need a book to get its word out?
1. That's what they had at the time.
2. Why do you need more when He's already given you 66 books?
Why do you need a book to study in school? hindu, ignorant. word book means, work quantified. get some education, before spewing your hinduism, absurdity.
I wish you had studied a book in school.
Man gave the books, Topher
As I'm sure you know, theologically God wrote the books using man ... kinda like how we give credit to the writer of the letter, not the pencil.
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.