December 6th, 2012
12:48 PM ET
By the CNN Belief Blog staff
(CNN) - Americans love kitsch, and the holidays bring out the best in our love/hate relationship with products that are so bad they just might be great. Each December you can find some terror-stricken parents ambling through toy stores like zombies in search of the perfect gift for their children.
But if no perfect gift can be found, you can always turn to kitsch. That awful holiday faithy kind. It's so bad it just might work.
Hanukkah is no exception.
Hanukkah, the Jewish Festival of Lights, begins on Saturday. Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem after the Maccabean Revolt and the menorah (candelabrum) that stayed aglow for eight days, despite a lack of oil.
The holiday gift giving burden can be doubly worse for Jewish parents who have to scramble to find gifts for their children for each of the eight nights. But does your kid really need another dreidel, another bag of chocolate coins?
The clock is ticking, but there's still time for the perfect faithy kitsch gift for children and the young at heart. With that in mind we humbly present the Belief Blog 2012 Guide to Hanukkah Kitsch.
Now your children can really test the miracle of the menorah by bringing this rubber ducky into the tub. Nothing says candles like a bath.
Cats played no central role in the Maccabean Revolt story, but why should cat lovers suffer for that?
This horrible holiday sweater comes complete with Stars of David and the menorah in golden chocolate coin motif. It's the article of clothing that makes your kids want to stay in the car because they refuse to be seen with you wearing it.
From the product description, "Firemen and Chippendales have had their spotlight long enough! The 2013 Nice Jewish Guys Calendar turns the spotlight on the underrated characteristic that pecs and tight buns can't deliver...niceness."
In a move of interfaith outreach, the folks who brought us Jesus toasters have created this Star of David toaster, just in time for the holiday.
The Count counts down the eight nights. Get it?
While all the other kids on the block are reading that other version of this story, now you and your family can finally enjoy the Hanukkah version.
Spinning the dreidel is a classic Hanukkah game where children bet for chocolate coins. Finally a version adults can enjoy by taking the gambling to the next logical step.
We've long documented the plight of Hanukkah music on the Belief Blog (see also the Maccabeats). Here's yet another entry into the holiday song canon.
It's like a ginger bread house but Hanukkah. Comes complete with blue and white frosting.
And don't forget to tune in next week for a very kitschy Belief Blog Christmas gift guide.
About this blog
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke and Eric Marrapodi with daily contributions from CNN's worldwide newsgathering team and frequent posts from religion scholar and author Stephen Prothero.