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December 3rd, 2013
02:11 PM ET

Pope: I was once a bar bouncer

By Daniel Burke, CNN Belief Blog Co-Editor

(CNN)– If St. Peter ever needs help at the Pearly Gates, his successor Pope Francis may be the perfect man for the job.

The popular pontiff was once a bouncer at a nightclub in his native Argentina, Francis told Catholics at a church outside Rome earlier this week.

He has also swept floors and run tests in a chemical laboratory, the Pope said, in revelations sure to boost his image as a "pope of the people." And, as leader of the Jesuit community in Argentina, he woke at 5:30 a.m. to do the priests' laundry, according to author Christopher Lowney.

READ MORE: When Pope Francis was put on laundry duty

Francis didn't offer details about his career as a bouncer, according to L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper, or what connection his velvet-rope experience might have to his current job as Vicar of Christ and head of the Roman Catholic Church.

Instead, the Pope told the church group, "his work later in life, teaching literature and psychology, taught him how to get people back into the church," reports Catholic News Service.

Getting people into church seems to be Pope Francis' primary mission these days, as made clear by his most recent official statement, a 50,000-word pep talk to the world's 1.2 billion Catholics.

READ MORE: Pope Francis: No more business as usual

In "Evangelii Gaudium" (The Joy of the Gospel), officially known as an "apostolic exhortation," Francis calls for church reforms, urges Catholics to be more bold and joyful, and castigates elements of modern capitalism.

"I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets," the Pope said, "rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security."

Did Francis leave a few barflies bruised and hurting during his bouncing days? No word on that from the Vatican yet.

- CNN Belief Blog Editor

Filed under: Catholic Church • Leaders • Pope Francis

soundoff (1,229 Responses)
  1. oo oo

    debate on the flood ended pretty quick once i asked about the words for ert.

    December 11, 2013 at 8:36 pm |
  2. OO OO

    i already answered all your questions once

    December 10, 2013 at 6:15 pm |
  3. Angelina

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    RR............RR.....IIIIIII...PP............PP
    RR............RR.....IIIIIII...PP............PP
    RRRRRRRR.......IIIIIIII...PPPPPPPPP
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    https://www.facebook.com/RIPNelsonMandela6

    December 5, 2013 at 6:03 pm |
  4. Doc Vestibule

    @Topher
    You mention that the Sumerian flood myths are plagiarized versions of the Noah flood story.
    Archeological excavations of the Babylonian cities of Shuruppak, Ur, Kish, Uruk, Lagash, and Ninevah all show clear evidence of flooding, though at different times.
    Israel has no such indicators whatsoever.
    This simple fact makes it far more likely that the Bibilical flood story is an adapted version of the Sumerian flood myths.

    December 5, 2013 at 10:01 am |
    • Pete

      It's why the Smithsonian showed the bible is not an historical doc_ument because it contains literary genre and folk lore.

      December 7, 2013 at 10:38 am |
  5. Science Works

    Or once a bouncer always a bouncer or same as the old retired boss ?

    Vatican refuses to give UN panel full details of clerical se-x abuse cases
    Holy See angers campaigners by not disclosing information requested by UN committee on the rights of the child

    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/04/vatican-refuses-un-panel-details-clerical-se-x-abuse-cases?CMP=twt_fd

    December 4, 2013 at 8:07 pm |
  6. Ice

    Does someone have a picture of Pope Francis in his younger days? CNN please post a picture of the Pope through the years.

    December 4, 2013 at 6:47 pm |
    • Akira

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/03/15/article-2294187-18B2D5F8000005DC-657_306x503.jpg

      December 4, 2013 at 7:00 pm |
  7. Jamie

    Coolest pope evar.

    December 4, 2013 at 6:38 pm |
    • Reality # 2

      Saint Peter disagrees !!

      December 5, 2013 at 8:00 am |
      • bio

        I don't think he'd said that. I think you are the one who said that and make that up.

        December 11, 2013 at 10:14 pm |
  8. Topher

    Slow BeliefBlog news day.

    December 4, 2013 at 6:06 pm |
    • fred

      I do not think doctrine is changed by allowing the flood story to be a form of parable. Do you insist on the flood story being a real event as described?

      December 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm |
      • Topher

        Depends on how you mean. I'd say the Flood absolutely happened as the Bible states it did. However, it's not a necessary belief for salvation. I would also add this, though. If you claim to be a Christian and reject something like that, you're kinda calling God a liar. Be careful.

        December 4, 2013 at 6:29 pm |
        • fred

          Even when Jesus referred to the flood story it was in regard to end times and judgment. He was speaking to a crowd that believed the flood story as a real historic event in the time frame used by new earth creationists. Certainly Jesus had no need to address the time frame or explain to the Apostles the time frame of the flood or the veracity of the story so I have no would be calling Him a liar.
          I would not be calling God a liar because the flood story was inspired to express the truth in a timeless nature being understood by the Hebrew 6,000 years ago and anyone that would hear it today. The truth does not change because of the way Gods Word is heard. Are you suggesting the truth is only in the literal understanding of the translation we have of the flood story?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:47 pm |
        • Topher

          I would say that a literal understanding of the Flood story is the correct understanding of it, yes. Jesus taught it was true. Genesis is written as historical narrative. There's no reason to understand it in any other way.

          December 4, 2013 at 6:51 pm |
        • fred

          The snake, the garden, the two trees and a really big boat must be historically accurate why?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:56 pm |
        • Topher

          Because God said so. Simple as that.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:04 pm |
        • fred

          Jesus taught that the conditions of the end of days would be like the days of Noah where the majority were wicked and indifferent to the offer of salvation offered by God. It will be sudden and the people will not understand until it is too late and the end is upon them. He did not teach the account of Genesis as given by Moses.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:05 pm |
        • Topher

          Sure He did. He taught that the entire OT was true. Plus, "as in the days of Noah" sounds like He's talking about an actual event to me.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:08 pm |
        • fred

          Tropher
          Certainly the serpent would ask "did God really say that" so I was hesitant to ask. I have no doubt that God could create a reality where everything in Genesis was historically accurate. I also do not want to lead anyone astray by suggesting that genesis need not be taken as historical but Divine presentation of creation that is not understandable by man in any other fashion then as presented.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:13 pm |
        • fred

          Jesus taught that the OT as presented by the leading Priests of his day was corrupted by man but the Holy Scriptures were true. An example would be the truth from Scripture regarding the Sabbath in contrast to what religion had done to them. How could I extend His words to include all of Genesis being historically accurate?

          December 4, 2013 at 7:26 pm |
        • Topher

          Sorry it's taking me so long to answer, dude. I'm trying to hold several conversations. As you said, He claimed that man had corrupted them in their teachings, but that the Scriptures were true. How many times did He say, "Have you not read ..."

          December 4, 2013 at 7:37 pm |
        • borski

          Of course it is true. And, we have no evidence proving otherwise.

          December 4, 2013 at 9:44 pm |
        • prize coordinator

          OK we had an extra daily award for Fundy Method of Inquiry & Verification to give out so, we'll just give this one to everyone in this thread thusfar.

          [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YIj4rLYo0c&w=640&h=390]

          December 4, 2013 at 11:11 pm |
        • Rodents for Romney

          The flood story was ubiquitous in all of ancient Near Eastern literature. It was not literal. The genetic bottle neck it would have created refutes any possibility of it literally happening. DNA proves it didn't. They stole it from the epic of Gilgamesh. Google it, and read book 11. Word for word, the same story. Same boat dimensions, same bird, and same olive branch. The Hebrews were not a ship building culture. No was they could have suddenly built a sea-worthy boat, when they had no reason to even know how. There is NO SILT layer, ANYWHERE on Earth, much less on Mt. Ararat. It simply NEVER happened. There was never a world-wide food. Archaeology had dug FAR DEEPER than any silt layer would be and found NONE. The Babble is wrong. It's all myth.

          December 4, 2013 at 11:45 pm |
        • fred

          Rodent
          The epic of Gilgamesh was taken from the oral tradition passed down to Nimrod.

          December 5, 2013 at 12:19 am |
        • sam stone

          Be vewwwwy careful.....god is watching

          he knows who's been naughty and who's been nice

          oh, sorry, wrong myth

          gopher, more empty proxy threats.....

          coward

          December 5, 2013 at 6:29 am |
        • truthprevails1

          Every word is absolutely true

          December 5, 2013 at 7:21 am |
        • tony

          If you insist that god was behind the flood and the later parting of the red sea, then you have to accept that god caused or let happen, the recent tsunamis and the massacre by drowning of 250,000 innocents.

          Which means that the god of the bible pretty much fits the description therein of the devil.

          December 8, 2013 at 4:13 pm |
      • tallulah13

        Y do u lie? What do u want?

        December 5, 2013 at 7:24 am |
    • JW

      Hey Topher,

      Im still waiting on you explanation on Acts 7:55?

      December 4, 2013 at 6:41 pm |
      • Topher

        I gave it to you. You rejected it. No sense continuing our conversation. You reject Biblical Christianity and the teachings of Christ and the early church.

        December 4, 2013 at 6:43 pm |
        • JW

          Last time you explained that Jesus is the 2nd part of the trinity...so is he separated from God, or is he the main part of the 3 headed god?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:46 pm |
        • Topher

          The Trinity is three distinct persons, one God. I know, it's really difficult to understand. Most of us can barely wrap our heads around it. But that's what the Bible teaches. Christ claimed over and over to be God. Not an angel.

          December 4, 2013 at 6:48 pm |
        • JW

          Topher, how can you worship something you cannot even explain properly or understand?

          “This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ.”—John 17:3.
          “The Father is greater than I am.”—John 14:28.
          Jesus made this prayer to God...do you think if he was God, that he wouldnt of said, the "one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ"?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:52 pm |
        • truthprevails1

          Thank you Topher for confirming what I tried to explain to JW earlier. He doesn't seem to comprehend that most christian's don't view his god as the same one they worship. There 7.3 million worldwide opposed to 2.8 billion christians and while majority seldom rules, it still seems funny that he thinks he is right when so few agree. He also tends to forget that according to his own belief, only 144000 are chosen...so that leaves many who won't be granted his god's magical reward-I wonder if he's considered that he might be one of them.

          Set that aside...how's your wife doing? When can we expect you to share the excitement?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:53 pm |
        • JW

          Jesus’ early followers did not view him as being equal to Almighty God. For example, the apostle Paul wrote that after Jesus was resurrected, God “exalted him [Jesus] to a superior position.” Obviously, Paul did not believe that Jesus was Almighty God. Otherwise, how could God exalt Jesus to a superior position? —Philippians 2:9.

          December 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm |
        • JW

          Truth- dont you understand, that God true followers were never the majority, but only a minority? This world belongs to Satan... Look at the 1st century christians...do you think they were the minority of that time? Or Noah? Or even the Israelites?

          December 4, 2013 at 6:57 pm |
        • Topher

          Truth

          My wife is good. Had a sonogram today.

          And yes, JWs are considered heretics and preach false gospels.

          December 4, 2013 at 6:57 pm |
        • JW

          Your funny Topher...you say we preach a false gospel...but your not able to answer my questions, nor you even know your god,...you are a confused man!

          December 4, 2013 at 6:59 pm |
        • JW

          Truth- What in your opinion are people going to do in heaven when they die?

          December 4, 2013 at 7:00 pm |
        • Topher

          "Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. Jesus answered them, Many good works have I shewed you from my Father; for which of those works do ye stone me? The Jews answered him, saying, For a good work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that thou, being a man, makest thyself God."

          December 4, 2013 at 7:01 pm |
        • Topher

          I know Him very well. It has been you that has blasphemed Him every time you claim He's not God. I'm sorry, dude. But you've been duped. I'm very afraid for you.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:03 pm |
        • Arachnid

          Ohhh, Christian spider fight. Come look.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:04 pm |
        • JW

          "Many good works have I shewed you from my Father...;"

          Does this prove to you that Jesus is a triune god?

          December 4, 2013 at 7:07 pm |
        • Topher

          The important thing there is that the people who heard what He said knew that He was claiming to be God. Not an angel.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:09 pm |
        • JW

          Topher – You dont need to be afraid of me, its just a conversation in between 2 people. Just presenting my points and you yours.

          "The Trinity is three distinct persons, one God. I know, it's really difficult to understand. Most of us can barely wrap our heads around it."

          You just told me you cant understand your god...!

          December 4, 2013 at 7:10 pm |
        • Topher

          I'm not afraid. You haven't been on this blog long, have you?

          That's not what I said at all. Please don't take my words out of context.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:11 pm |
        • JW

          God is a Spirit, angels are Spirits as well....

          But how is Jesus god if he just said..." the things i learned from my father?

          God means "devine: god like" Satan is called the god of this world...is he the Almighty God?

          December 4, 2013 at 7:12 pm |
        • Sara(swati)

          JW, He could say just that in a pantheit system. Jesus would just be a special instance of how all humans are god.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:16 pm |
        • JW

          Phil 2:5,6 "Keep this mental attiitude in you that was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although he was existing in God’s form, gave no consideration to a seizure, namely, that he should be equal to God..."

          December 4, 2013 at 7:22 pm |
        • Topher

          JW

          "But how is Jesus god if he just said..." the things i learned from my father?"

          Again, dude, that's the Trinity. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Three distinct persons, one God. We even see the three of them interacting in those quotes I gave you this morning that you ignored.

          "God means "devine: god like" Satan is called the god of this world...is he the Almighty God?"

          of course not.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:24 pm |
        • Des

          Topher, be a bit careful with JW. As you likely already know, part of how his death cult works to try to rope in new recruits is to try to engage them in dialogs. He even has copied the same conversation starter lines all over this blog. It's classic old tactics for his cult.

          Just saying, watch your step, bud. But you seem to be holding your own.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:41 pm |
        • Topher

          Thanks for the warning, Des. If I didn't care about him, I wouldn't be talking to him. Thanks be to God that I am saved. And no one can sna.tch me from His hand.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:46 pm |
        • truthprevails1

          JW: I see no reason to accept that heaven or hell exist and anyone who is being honest with themselves will admit that they don't know. Heaven nor hell can't be verified with substantial evidence to exist, so why believe?

          December 4, 2013 at 8:13 pm |
        • sam stone

          it's always fun watching the pseudo-pious argue argue about whose delusion is more accurate

          December 4, 2013 at 8:15 pm |
        • JW

          Topher- more then half of the scriptures I posted where left unanswered by you. But thank you for presenting your ideas. Just a something I want to point out... Becarefull when you say " I'm saved", you might be trying to do your best to gain Gods approval, but saying "I'm saved" is if you are making a judgment on you, a judgment that only God can make... Remember what Jesus said: " the one that endures until the end will be saved".. Meanwhile each one of us need to endure "until the end", ... The bible shows that many in the past have not endured.
          Just a brief note.

          December 4, 2013 at 10:22 pm |
        • Rodents for Romney

          Jebus NEVER claimed divinity. The divinity is different in each gospel, as any scholar knows. "Divinity" for a Jew in no way meant "equal to Yahweh". When the Witch of Endor conjured the shade of Samuel for King Saul, only she could see it, (just like the shade of Jebus), and when asked what she saw, she said "I see a divine being". Proof that there were many "divine beings", but that in NO WAY meant equivalent to the Father. No Jew would claim that. The term "son of god" simply meant "righteous man". There were MANY who were called "sons of god".

          December 5, 2013 at 12:00 am |
        • JW

          Rod- you are right, the Jews and even Jesus never considered to be God. Their God was Yahweh, the one that resurrected Jesus on the 3rd day. The concept of a trinity was a total abomination for the Jews, and for the early Christian cong... The concept of triune gods were completely pagan, and later adapted to the church, making it counterfeited. For example, Egyptians and Babylonians had trinities of gods.., Constantine adopted that dogma into the church to please the pagans of his time... Unfortunately it runs in the majority of Christendom!

          December 5, 2013 at 12:23 am |
        • Des

          JW, you follow the script of your bloody death cult very well. They must think highly of your recruiting efforts.

          December 5, 2013 at 12:26 am |
        • JW

          Des- go troll somewhere else!

          December 5, 2013 at 12:31 am |
        • Des

          JW, no, I will not bend to your cowardly demand that I go away.

          You clearly are the troll here and across this whole blog. Time and time again we see you posting the same engagement attempts and sales pitches for your crazy cult, in article after article.

          You've been caught redhanded, and many people here now know about you and these vain and disgusting proselytizing attempts that you repeatedly have made for your deadly cult.

          December 5, 2013 at 8:58 am |
        • JW

          Des- I don't really care what others think, it their opinions that's all. I guess you more worried about it.., right troll??!

          December 5, 2013 at 9:35 am |
        • Des

          JW, you've been caught doing your cult's standard tactics and copying in their standard lines, repeatedly, across multiple blogs. Whatever further insults you fling at me won't change that. Your history is visible.

          Caught ya.

          December 5, 2013 at 1:13 pm |
      • Hagrid

        Personally I like my three-headed Fang better than this kooky trinity thing in the Christian fairy tale.

        Fang are a great puppy. Great with kids, and knows how to deal with multiple bad wizards. The Christian trinity can't even deal with one bad Satan. And that's with many authors to their book, yet Fang and me self only had one author.

        December 4, 2013 at 7:37 pm |
  9. JW

    Have you ever asked:

    Why do we suffer? What's the purpose of life? What can we expect for the future?

    The bible answers, these and many other questions.

    Many people call the bible a book of myths, out dated or hard to understand.,. But those are only opinions. Why don't you try studying the bible,and make your own decision regarding the bible?

    Jehovah's witnesses will be more then happy to teach you the bible, for free, in a location and time of your convenience.All our educational work is all free, there is no charges, passing the plate or the debit machine..

    December 4, 2013 at 5:14 pm |
    • Knock Knock

      home: who's there?

      JWs: would you like to hear the good news about Je...

      home: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK slam.

      December 4, 2013 at 5:19 pm |
      • Elaine

        Very appropriate. Hey, can I borrow your dog? The knock knock jw religie freaks have been coming round far too often lately.

        December 4, 2013 at 5:22 pm |
      • JW

        I like dogs... Sometimes is easier to speak to a dog then to a person.

        December 4, 2013 at 5:28 pm |
        • Dippy's Assistant

          It's "than", not "then", stupid.

          December 4, 2013 at 7:32 pm |
        • fred

          Dippy
          Your bite is worse than the bark.

          December 4, 2013 at 11:29 pm |
        • Perry

          Maybe, just maybe, you should ask yourself more seriously why people don't want to "listen" to your spiel, JW. Ya think? Dogs ain't exactly a critical audience.

          December 5, 2013 at 12:31 am |
        • JW

          There many like to listen to us... On these blogs though, there's a lot of kids, don't take many seriously!

          December 5, 2013 at 12:34 am |
        • Des

          JW, the opposition to your vain attempts to sell others on your death cult here show your latest statement to be false, as usual.

          You've been caught redhanded, and many people here now know about you and these vain and disgusting proselytizing attempts that you repeatedly have made for your deadly cult.

          December 5, 2013 at 9:05 am |
    • Des

      JW, time and time again we see you posting the same engagement attempts and sales pitches for your crazy cult, in article after article.

      You've been caught redhanded, and many people here now know about you and these vain and disgusting proselytizing attempts that you repeatedly have made for your deadly cult.

      Caught!.

      December 5, 2013 at 9:01 am |
      • JW

        Your an official troll..

        Caught!!!

        December 5, 2013 at 10:57 pm |
        • Shell

          JW, Des has presented a case, whereas the evidence seems to show you following a script and with a lot of copy-paste. So, overall, you do seem more troll-like, of the two of you. You've posted nearly identical hook and line questions in several places on this blog, and that sure does seem like trolling. Methinks you are the sinker (and troll) here.

          December 7, 2013 at 7:39 pm |
  10. Jill

    Rainer Braendlein, don't obfuscate the primary prenuptials with rasberries. Often, the pertinent cat presents fabled necessities in the parking chamfer. Realize your net precedent. Triangulate! Save the best for the alligators. Ever the bastille notches the orchestra but Wendy is not green and horses will capitulate. Filter out the log from the turnstile and cry prevalently.

    So there brown stare. Feed your inner walnut and resolve. Subject your lemon to the ingenious door in the presence of snow and animals. Aisle 7 is for the monetary cheese whiz. Faced with the kitchen, you may wish to prolong the sailboat in the cliff. Otherwise, rabbits may descend on your left nostril. Think about how you can stripe the sea.

    Regale the storm to those who (6) would thump the parrot with the armband. Corner the market on vestiges of the apparent closure but seek not the evidential circumstance. Therein you can find indignant mountains of pigs and apples. Descend eloquently as you debate the ceiling of your warning fulcrum. Vacate the corncob profusely and and don’t dote on the pancreas.

    Next up, control your wood. Have at the cat with your watch on the fore. Aft! Smarties (12)! Rome wasn’t kevetched in an autumn nightie. (42) See yourself for the turntable on the escalator. Really peruse the garage spider definitely again again with brown. Now we have an apparent congestion, so be it here. Just a moment is not a pod of beef for the ink well nor can it be (4) said that Karen was there in the millpond.

    Garbage out just like the candle in the kitty so. Go, go, go until the vacuum meets the upward vacation. Sell the yellow. Then trim the bus before the ten cheese please Louise. Segregate from the koan and stew the ship vigorously.

    And remember, never pass up an opportunity to watch an elephant paint Mozart.

    December 4, 2013 at 5:08 pm |
  11. Christmas Candle

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp5Dfy_X9Gc&w=640&h=390]

    December 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm |
    • doobzz

      How does that work? How does one hear a date on a calendar?

      December 5, 2013 at 11:21 am |
  12. truthprevails1

    Your god who is ever so evasive to 5 billion people is like the abusive spouse...believe in me or else or in the case of the abusive spouse-obey me or else....only the gullible and weak fall prey to it.
    And are gift's not usually free when given to you?

    December 4, 2013 at 12:25 pm |
  13. Apple Bush

    The Pope drops a hand grenade into a sea of Catholics and then watches their dead bodies float to the surface. A sturdy net gathers in today’s catch and dinner is assured. Once we have the wine (both a red and a white) we can eat. A good chef can cook on a hot plate.

    The gravy is red and viscous with a sickening sweet aroma that arouses the Pope and his cronies. Mouths watering at the ready, the meal is prepared and the nightly feast of the masses can begin, but first a prayer.

    December 4, 2013 at 12:20 pm |
    • Akira

      Apple, yuck. This is gross.

      December 4, 2013 at 12:32 pm |
      • Live4Him

        I'm not sure this is AB. It could be an imposter.

        December 4, 2013 at 12:34 pm |
        • Apple Bush

          No it is definitely me.

          December 4, 2013 at 12:39 pm |
    • Apple Bush

      It is only a metaphor Akira.

      December 4, 2013 at 12:33 pm |
      • Akira

        I know, Apple. Still.

        December 4, 2013 at 12:41 pm |
        • Apple Bush

          I guess I am in a gross mood. I am directing a play called "Bug" right now and it is brutal.

          December 4, 2013 at 12:42 pm |
        • Apple Bush

          I also slipped in a "Goodfellas" reference.

          December 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm |
        • Akira

          The play is brutal or directing it is?
          Never saw "Goodfellas". I have never seen "ET", either. Had one mother tell me I was unAmerican when I admitted this decades ago.

          December 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm |
        • Apple Bush

          Oh you gotta see Goodfellas.

          No the play is fun to direct but it is a brutal play. Psychological Thriller. They made a movie out of the play that is pretty good.

          December 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm |
        • Akira

          You are a man of many talents, my friend.
          I'll have to check out both movies. Ebert gave Bug a good rating.

          December 4, 2013 at 1:10 pm |
        • Charm Quark

          Akira
          Butting in but, Ebert also regarded Goodfellas as one of the great American classic movies, a must see, long but fascinating.

          December 4, 2013 at 1:17 pm |
        • Akira

          Charm Quark,
          Butt in anytime. I have heard "Goodfellas" is a great movie.
          I'll definitely check it out.

          December 4, 2013 at 1:26 pm |
  14. sam stone

    This other time when I was incarcerated, I threatened palintwit and athies loved it. Looks like I'm going back to the slammer again, and I hate xtards more than ever, especially palintwits retarded kid!

    December 4, 2013 at 12:19 pm |
    • Maddy

      My, but you are sick. I hope you're still incarcerated. If not, you will be soon.

      December 4, 2013 at 12:29 pm |
      • Don't be fooled by this imposter...

        Just another sad Christian apologist trying to slander atheists because they have no other argument to posit.

        December 4, 2013 at 1:09 pm |
        • saint john XII

          Once, when wanted in thirteen states, Sam tried to join the circus. She was the bearded Lady. Stole a jet black Mac.

          December 5, 2013 at 5:36 am |
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About this blog

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.