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January 28th, 2014
10:37 AM ET

Noah's Ark discovery raises flood of questions

Opinion by Joel Baden, Special to CNN

(CNN) - That faint humming sound you’ve heard recently is the scholarly world of the Bible and archaeology abuzz over the discovery of the oldest known Mesopotamian version of the famous Flood story.

A British scholar has found that a 4,000-year-old cuneiform tablet from what is now Iraq contains a story similar to the biblical account of Noah’s Ark.

The newly decoded cuneiform tells of a divinely sent flood and a sole survivor on an ark, who takes all the animals on board to preserve them. It even includes the famous phrase “two by two,” describing how the animals came onto the ark.

But there is one apparently major difference: The ark in this version is round.

We have known for well over a century that there are flood stories from the ancient Near East that long predate the biblical account (even the most conservative biblical scholars wouldn’t date any earlier than the ninth century B.C).

What’s really intriguing scholars is the description of the ark itself.

The Bible presents a standard boat shape - long and narrow. The length being six times the measure of the width, with three decks and an entrance on the side.

The newly discovered Mesopotamian text describes a large round vessel, made of woven rope, and coated (like the biblical ark) in pitch to keep it waterproof.

Archaeologists are planning to design a prototype of the ark, built to the specifications of this text, to see if it would actually float. Good luck to them in trying to estimate the weight of its cargo.

So, why does this new discovery matter? It matters because it serves as a reminder that the story of the Flood wasn’t set in stone from its earliest version all the way through to its latest incarnation.

The people who wrote down the Flood narrative, in any of its manifestations, weren’t reporting on a historical event for which they had to get their facts straight (like what shape the ark was).

Everyone reshapes the Flood story, and the ark itself, according to the norms of their own time and place.

In ancient Mesopotamia, a round vessel would have been perfectly reasonable - in fact, we know that this type of boat was in use, though perhaps not to such a gigantic scale, on the Mesopotamian rivers.

The ancient Israelites, on the other hand, would naturally have pictured a boat like those they were familiar with: which is to say, the boats that navigated not the rivers of Mesopotamia but the Mediterranean Sea.

This detail of engineering can and should stand for a larger array of themes and features in the flood stories. The Mesopotamian versions feature many gods; the biblical account, of course, only one.

The Mesopotamian versions tell us that the Flood came because humans were too noisy for the gods; the biblical account says it was because violence had spread over the Earth.

Neither version is right or wrong; they are, rather, both appropriate to the culture that produced them. Neither is history; both are theology.

What, then, of the most striking parallel between this newly discovered text and Genesis: the phrase “two by two”? Here, it would seem, we have an identical conception of the animals entering the ark. But not so fast.

Although most people, steeped in Sunday school tradition, will tell you without even thinking about it that “the animals, they came on, they came on by twosies twosies,” that’s not exactly what the Bible says.

More accurately, it’s one thing that the Bible says - but a few verses later, Noah is instructed to bring not one pair of each species, but seven pairs of all the “clean” animals and the birds, and one pair of the “unclean” animals.

(This is important because at the end of the story, Noah offers sacrifices - which, if he only brought one pair of each animal, would mean that, after saving them all from the Flood, he then proceeded to relegate some of those species to extinction immediately thereafter.)

This isn’t news - already in the 17th century scholars recognized that there must be two versions of the Flood intertwined in the canonical Bible.

There are plenty of significant differences between the two Flood stories in the Bible, which are easily spotted if you try to read the narrative as it stands.

One version says the Flood lasted 40 days; the other says 150. One says the waters came from rain. Another says it came from the opening of primordial floodgates both above and below the Earth. One version says Noah sent out a dove, three times. The other says he sent out a raven, once.

And yes: In one of those stories, the animals come on “two by two.”

Does this mean that the author of that version was following the ancient Mesopotamian account that was just discovered? Certainly not.

If the goal of the ark is the preservation of the animals, then having a male and female of each is just common sense. And, of course, it’s a quite reasonable space-saving measure.

Likewise, the relative age of the Mesopotamian and biblical accounts tells us nothing about their relative authority.

Even if we acknowledge, as we probably should, that the biblical authors learned the Flood story from their neighbors - after all, flooding isn’t, and never was, really a pressing concern in Israel - this doesn’t make the Bible any less authoritative.

The Bible gets its authority from us, who treat it as such, not from it being either the first or the most reliable witness to history.

There is no doubt that the discovery of this new ancient Mesopotamian text is important. But from a biblical perspective, its importance resides mostly in the way it serves to remind us that the Flood story is a malleable one.

There are multiple different Mesopotamian versions, and there are multiple different biblical versions. They share a basic outline, and some central themes. But they each relate the story in their own way.

The power of the Flood story, for us the canonical biblical version, is in what it tells us about humanity’s relationship with God. But, as always, the devil is in the details.

Joel S. Baden is the author of "The Historical David: The Real Life of an Invented Hero" and an associate professor of Old Testament at Yale Divinity School. The views expressed in this column belong to Baden. 

- CNN Religion Editor

Filed under: Belief • Bible • Christianity • Judaism • Opinion

soundoff (5,820 Responses)
  1. MattIsFamous

    I think the guy that decoded the tablet IS Noah, or possibly Santa Claus.

    January 29, 2014 at 10:27 am |
    • doobzz

      I know! I don't usually comment on someone's appearance, but that's the first thing I thought too, lol.

      January 29, 2014 at 6:01 pm |
  2. Dyslexic doG

    When did I realize I was God?

    Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized that I was talking to myself ...

    January 29, 2014 at 10:25 am |
    • truthprevails1

      Taking a page from Austin's Squish Kitty Chronicles? 😉

      January 29, 2014 at 10:39 am |
  3. Doc Vestibule

    Good morning Live4Him
    A couple of our conversations from yesterday were left unresolved.
    You asked me what the maximum length of a wooden boat is and what backs up the numbers.
    I answered, but you never replied.

    Due to hogging and sagging, the practical limit on the length of a wooden-hulled ship is about 300 feet.

    The actual history of the longest wooden ships bears testament to this limit. The Wyoming was 329.5 feet (100.4 m) long and 50 ft 1 in (15.27 m) wide, the largest wooden schooner ever built. It needed its pumps to keep it afloat, and eventually it sank.

    According to Genesis 6:15, Noah's ark was 450 feet long and 75 feet wide.
    Also note that the water in a massive, rapid, global flood would have been violently roiling during the initial 40 day deluge.

    You also asked what the salt content of the oceans were prior to and after the floor and what evidence I would expect to find for the rapid salination and de-salination that must have occured when the ocean water mixed with fresh water in a global flood.
    The study of sedimentary geochemistry has revealed that the salinity levels of the oceans 4,000 years ago were virtually identical to current levels (about 35%). Prior to that (in the history of the planet that you deny exists), salinity levels were greater.

    What evidence would I expect to find? Off the top of my head, I would expect there to be a layer of millions and millions of ichthyan corpses in lake beds since every single aquatic creature would have died.

    January 29, 2014 at 10:18 am |
    • igaftr

      Doc, not just every aguatic creature, but ALL plants, insects...everything...all food chains gone...Millions of years would be needed to recover, but also the oceanic conveyor belt, created by the freezing and thawing of salinity soaked waters, would be gone, causing damage to all oceans and the atmosphere...that would not be recoverable.

      January 29, 2014 at 10:39 am |
      • Pete

        You forget that Live4Him believes in magic, so anything is possible, and you are just wasting you time if you try to talk to him.

        January 29, 2014 at 10:42 am |
    • Colin

      Also Live4Him, has the Nobel Prize Committee called you yet? Remember, you know the World is only a few thousand years old and that evolution is wrong. That is singly THE greatest scientific and historical development in World history. Because up until now, every university and college in the World and every member of the disciplines of biology, geology, history, astronomy, cosmology, archaeology and paleontology have been totally wrong.

      January 29, 2014 at 10:41 am |
    • Live4Him

      @Doc Vestibule : A couple of our conversations from yesterday were left unresolved.

      Well, I waited, but you never seemed to respond so I moved on.

      @Doc Vestibule : Due to hogging and sagging, the practical limit on the length of a wooden-hulled ship is about 300 feet.

      That's what I'd hoped you'd say – cause there are wooden-hulled ships that were almost 400 feet. 🙂 I think the longest was just short of the 450 feet of the Ark – so this fact debunks your posit. So this falsifies your claim that hogging and sagging would limit the size. BTW – the hogging and sagging issue only applies to sail-powered ships, which the Ark was not.

        Thalamegos – 377 feet
        Chinese treasure ships – 387 feet

      @Doc Vestibule : The study of sedimentary geochemistry has revealed that the salinity levels of the oceans 4,000 years ago were virtually identical to current levels (about 35%).

      Then the study was flawed. The oceans get their salt from the land via rainwater run-off, so the salinity levels are constantly rising.

      http://science.nasa.gov/earth-science/oceanography/physical-ocean/salinity/
      Understanding why the sea is salty begins with knowing how water cycles among the ocean's physical states: liquid, vapor, and ice. As a liquid, water dissolves rocks and sediments and reacts with emissions from volcanoes and hydrothermal vents. This creates a complex solution of mineral salts in our ocean basins. Conversely, in other states such as vapor and ice, water and salt are incompatible: water vapor and ice are essentially salt free.

      Doc Vestibule : I would expect there to be a layer of millions and millions of ichthyan corpses in lake beds since every single aquatic creature would have died.

      Does every dead animal result in a fossil? No. So why would you posit this for your evidence?

         <><

      January 29, 2014 at 10:41 am |
      • Live4Him

        correction : hogging and sagging issue only applies to powered ships (i.e. not just sail-powered)

        January 29, 2014 at 10:42 am |
        • Timmy

          So a ship can be as long and be filled with whatever, with no hogging and sagging, as long as it's not "powered" ship?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:56 am |
      • Saraswati

        "Thalamegos – 377 feet
        Chinese treasure ships – 387 feet"

        Ah yes...ancient historical ships described in accounts slightly better than the Bible. And in the first case, not even an ocean going ship. Is there anything you won't believe at face value if it supports the Bible stories?

        January 29, 2014 at 10:54 am |
      • Jorge

        Question- how long God give Noah to round up two of all animals? Even in the normal life time of man how could Noah and his family round up the animals? There is no such time. Also some things are not easy to round up. But do you say that God got them into the ark with magical? Did he cheat and help them? I dont like cheats.

        January 29, 2014 at 10:54 am |
      • Doc Vestibule

        @Live4Him
        The actual size of the Chinese Treasure ships is a matter of debate.
        Estimates range from 200 – 400 feet in length.
        The Thalamegos, a ship awash in myth and opulence, was described as a double-hulled catamaran style ship, which is not the shape of Noah's Ark as described in the Bible. The Hebrew word used to describe it is "tebah", which means "box" or "chest" (like a treasure chest – with corners and whatnot).

        It's great that you've dismissed the findings of an entire branch of science, just like you do with evolutionary biology – but that doesn't change the fact that once the ocean salt water mixed in with the all of the world's fresh water, there would no longer be any fresh water and all terrestrial flora and fauna would die.

        And while not every animal leaves a fossil, if every single form of aquatic life was decimated in a short amount of time, there would be evidence. An entire ecosystem can't simply disappear!
        Unless, of course, such a mass extinction never happened. That would certainly explain why there is fresh water in the world, eh?

        January 29, 2014 at 11:16 am |
        • Live4Him

          @Doc Vestibule : was described as a double-hulled catamaran style ship, which is not the shape of Noah's Ark as described in the Bible.

          You're right, but you are also comparing a single-keel ship design with an unknown design. Did the 'box' design have a single-keel or multiple keels (i.e. every 125 feet for example). Regardless, there are many ships (well-documented) that exceed your self-proclaimed max limit of 300 feet. So, your limit was just your arbitrary limit not based upon scientific facts.

            Great Republic, 1853. Designed by Donald MacKay and built in New York, she was at 335
            Santiago at 324 ft
            Roanoke at 311 ft
            Belyana at 328 ft
            England gaff schooner Wyoming at 351 ft
            HMS Orlando at 335 ft
            HMS Mersey at 335 ft

          @Doc Vestibule : It's great that you've dismissed the findings of an entire branch of science

          I provide empirical evidence (i.e. quoting govt site) on the source of salt for the ocean's salinity and you claim I'm dismissing evidence. Really now, come on!

          @Doc Vestibule : once the ocean salt water mixed in with the all of the world's fresh water

          If the ocean's salinitiy is increasing, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to conclude that at one point there was no salinity. Thus, fresh mixed with fresh.

          @Doc Vestibule : if every single form of aquatic life was decimated in a short amount of time, there would be evidence.

          There is evidence. It is all those fossils found in sedimentary geological layers, which are laid down by one worldwide flood or multiple floods. Yet, you prefer many small floods capable of drowning large dinosaurs!

          January 29, 2014 at 12:52 pm |
        • Doc Vestibule

          You'll note I said "about 300 feet".
          324, 311, 328, 335 – all of those fall into the category of "about 300 feet" – as in closer to 300 than 400.
          But regardless – let's take a closer look at your list.

          The Great Republic had more than just wood – it had some 335 tons of iron and 56 tons of copper.

          The Wyoming was 329 feet long, not 351.
          Becuase of the length, the Wyoming had to use pumps to get rid of the water that constantly flooded the hold due to hogging and sagging.

          The Santiago was an iron hulled ship, not wooden.

          The Orlando and Mersey needed iron strappings to support the hull. Both were scrapped after repeated structural failures due to their extreme lengths.

          Belyanas were a class of ship from Russia.
          The huge river barges had constant problems with leakage and needed a large crew to pump water out of hull (again, becuase of the size).

          I see you are asserting that at one point, all the water on earth was fresh?
          That isn't so.
          In November of last year, a team from the Unites States Geological Survey found a 100 million year old salt water deposit deep under Cape Charles, Va.
          There is around 3 trillion gallons of the stuff – twice as salty as the current levels of the Atlantic Ocean (from which it originated).
          Your idea still doesn't explain how all the extant bodies of fresh water instantly became de-salinated.

          I don't "prefer many small floods". I'm saying that if every living creature on the planet, both terrestrial and aquatic, suffered simultaneous extinction there would unmistakeable, unmissable, undeniable evidence of billions upon billions of creatures leaving their corpses behind.
          That does not exist.

          January 29, 2014 at 2:18 pm |
      • igaftr

        Here is another prime example of L4H misrepresnting facts.

        Chinese treasure ships...employed and built in the 15th century.( Noah making a ship of that size is similar to the Wright Brothers creating a 747, from the tools, materials and technology of their time)

        thalamegos...from around 200 BC...during the iron age...not the stone age when Noah allegedly lived.

        Trying to compare those examples to Noahs ark is just another prime example of L4H presentinig misleading and therefore false arguments.

        ANY ship of the size needed for an ark, made using the tools materials and tecknology of Noah's time would sink. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to make such a vessel during his time.

        Try again L4H...your misinformation again shows you are an agent of satan.

        January 29, 2014 at 12:55 pm |
  4. L

    Why did non-belief create such as mess? Is non-belief unloving? Does non-belief not care? Does non-belief even exist? Is it a made up concept? Why does non-belief allow death and mur.der? Why didn't non-belief stop atheists from murdering over 100 million people? Non-belief does not exist. Your non-belief god is false.

    January 29, 2014 at 10:07 am |
    • Doc Vestibule

      What is a rhetorical question?

      January 29, 2014 at 10:18 am |
    • Free post-holiday mixed nuts

      troll-dum at it's best. be all the troll you can be

      January 29, 2014 at 10:19 am |
    • Dyslexic doG

      asinine

      January 29, 2014 at 10:22 am |
    • ME II

      @L,
      At the risk of 'feeding the trolls'
      1) There is no basis for action in Atheism and therefore crimes committed by Atheists are not attributable to Atheism; likewise acts of kindness.

      "Your non-belief god is false."

      2) This statement makes no logical sense.

      January 29, 2014 at 10:43 am |
  5. JW

    Is the bible from God?

    Many Bible writers state that God directed what they wrote. Note these examples:

    King David: “The spirit of Jehovah it was that spoke by me, and his word was upon my tongue.”—2 Samuel 23:1, 2.

    The prophet Isaiah: “This is what the Sovereign Lord, Jehovah of armies, has said.”—Isaiah 22:15.

    The apostle John: “A revelation by Jesus Christ, which God gave him.”—Revelation 1:1.

    January 29, 2014 at 10:01 am |
    • Science Works

      JW and this was on the ARK – right ?

      Uppsala Universitet. "First dinosaurs identified from Saudi Arabia." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 7 January 2014. .

      January 29, 2014 at 10:04 am |
      • JW

        Dinosaurs existed long before even humans existed.

        January 29, 2014 at 10:13 am |
        • Science Works

          No kidding – but was it on the ARK ?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:17 am |
        • JW

          No. When the deluge came dinosaurs were long gone.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:20 am |
        • Doc Vestibule

          @JW
          But according to Young Earth Creationists (hi Topher and L4H), dinosaurs and human beings lived side by side.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:24 am |
        • JW

          Doc- dinosaurs records show them dating of millions of years ago. Humans haven't existed for that long.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:27 am |
        • Science Works

          Along with Ham the father of – who JW ?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:27 am |
        • JW

          Science- I'm actually having a Ham sandwich for lunch..

          January 29, 2014 at 10:33 am |
        • Des

          Everyone, be careful of JW. He is back out here often, on recruiting missions for his deadly cult. He's back it it today. This is well documented now. He must get cult brownie points for his doorknocking efforts here. He needs to engage you on his agenda to do that. Instead, keep pressing him on points like this, and watch him squirm:

          So, JW, are you opposed to blood transfusion in the case of an accident victim who has lost a lot of blood and will die without transfused blood? Yes or no answer please; none of your usual dodging will get you by. We are watching for you and your deadly ilk.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:36 am |
        • Science Works

          Deception in that ham sandwich answer JW

          January 29, 2014 at 10:48 am |
    • Woody

      "Hearing voices is considered by psychiatry as an auditory hallucination and as a symptom of conditions such as schizophrenic disorders, manic depression and psychosis." – Mental Health Foundation

      January 29, 2014 at 10:17 am |
      • JW

        How we know the bible writters didn't suffer from mental issues? Because the bible is historically and scientifically exact... And its prophecys have been a reality... Kinda a different then of someone suffering from mental issues.

        January 29, 2014 at 10:24 am |
        • Observer

          JW

          "Because the bible is historically and scientifically exact"

          It says that many of the LAWS of SCIENCE are OPTIONAL. It claims that salt can lose its saltiness. It claims the moon and sun suddenly stopped.

          Be real.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:27 am |
        • Doc Vestibule

          @JW
          I'm afraid the Bible is not historically exact.
          For example – Ceasar's "Census" that was supposed to have been the impetus for Joseph and Mary to travel to Bethlehem.
          There is no record of Caesar Augustus' decree that "all the world should be enrolled" (Lk. 2:1). The Romans kept extremely detailed records of such events. Not only is the census not in these records, it goes against all that we know of Roman economic history. Roman docu.ments show that taxation was done by the various governors at the provincial level.
          Imagine a system of taxation based on people returning to their ancestral homes, going back a thousand years in the case of Joseph. Can you seriously believe that the Romans would have required the itinerant Jews to come back to Palestine, carrying everything they owned?
          Property tax was collected on site by travelling assessors – Joseph had no need to travel.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:29 am |
        • Des

          Everyone, be careful of JW. He is back out here often, on recruiting missions for his deadly cult. He's back at his con artist work today. This is well documented now. He must get cult brownie points for his doorknocking efforts here. He needs to engage you on his agenda to do that. Instead, keep pressing him on points like this, and watch him squirm:

          So, JW, are you opposed to blood transfusion in the case of an accident victim who has lost a lot of blood and will die without transfused blood? Yes or no answer please; none of your usual dodging will get you by. We are watching for you and your deadly ilk.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:37 am |
    • Des

      Everyone, be careful of JW. He is back out here often, on recruiting missions for his deadly cult. This is well documented now. He must get cult brownie points for his doorknocking efforts here. He needs to engage you on his agenda to do that. Instead, keep pressing him on points like this, and watch him squirm:

      So, JW, are you opposed to blood transfusion in the case of an accident victim who has lost a lot of blood and will die without transfused blood? Yes or no answer please; none of your usual dodging will get you by. We are watching for you and your deadly ilk.

      January 29, 2014 at 10:33 am |
    • Madtown

      Is the bible from God?
      ---–
      I say no. But, if you believe it is, then you have to address questions such as why God didn't choose to share it with all his equal human creations, if he desired we follow the messages contained within.

      January 29, 2014 at 10:44 am |
    • truthprevails1

      Ah so nice to see JW our resident harassment specialist here. I wonder if he realizes that most christians don't consider him christian?

      January 29, 2014 at 10:48 am |
    • Saraswati

      JW, I've long wondered at why the Jehovah's Witnesses are untroubled by a 75% attrition rate, the highest of any Christian sect. Then it dawned on me that with only a small number designated at the annointed, there really isn't room for everyone in the church to make it, so these drop outs are just ones not designated to make it. Do you think of these drop outs as just folks who couldn't make the cut, and keep recruiting to gather that small number? Or is the organizations management just really bad?

      January 29, 2014 at 11:08 am |
  6. AverageJoe76

    PLEASE BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, IF NO ONE ELSE.

    Does God speak to you? Or are YOU speaking to you? If you hear a seperate voice OTHER than yours, I'd be interested in what it said to you. If it sounds like you, don't bother...

    January 29, 2014 at 9:57 am |
    • Live4Him

      @AverageJoe76 : Does God speak to you?

      Sort of. Most of what I would consider to be messages from God, you would dismiss as originating from me. However, when I was younger, I was getting short-term 'prophecies' that were guiding my actions. This period started with a 'challenge' (i.e. god doesn't exist and jesus was a real person, but not the son of god) and a response ('that's not good enough for my plans for you'). This period (2.5 – 3 years) culminated in so many proven 'prophecies' that I finally acquiesced that these 'prophecies' had to be real and must be coming from a being one could call God. And then they stopped – but with another message "Even though the messages won't be given, I'll still be with you always." And even this message was proven to be true shortly thereafter. And yes, some of these 'prophecies' were given in front of other people.

         <><

      January 29, 2014 at 10:12 am |
      • Science Works

        Wow Austin started early in your mind ?

        January 29, 2014 at 10:22 am |
      • AverageJoe76

        But without a formal introduction before the prophecy ran in your mind, how can you attribute it to Jesus/God? Another man will say it was Allah. Maybe another will say it's Mother Nature.

        We assume a lot, without a real basis for the assumption.

        January 29, 2014 at 10:25 am |
        • Live4Him

          @AverageJoe76 : But without a formal introduction before the prophecy ran in your mind, how can you attribute it to Jesus/God?

          As I said, a 'formal introduction' did occur. Didn't you read my post? I concluded that God didn't exist and God's response was to provide empirical evidence (just for me) that he did in fact exist.

          @AverageJoe76 : Another man will say it was Allah.

          Like Allah wants to prove that 'God exists'? You're really grasping at straws here.

             <><

          January 29, 2014 at 10:56 am |
        • AverageJoe76

          But your 'formal introduction' emanated from your own brain, right? That's not really an 'introuduction'. It was you.

          January 29, 2014 at 11:20 am |
        • AverageJoe76

          I'm pretty sure Muslims believe Allah is God. So your 2nd statement is confusing.

          January 29, 2014 at 11:22 am |
      • tallulah13

        Short-term prophecy = déjà vu?

        January 29, 2014 at 11:06 am |
      • "Sleepy" Slade Baroni

        Clearly Live4Him suffers from a mental illness.

        January 29, 2014 at 1:11 pm |
  7. tony

    One rainbow could have its pixels rearranged to display the entire bible text, with full exp;anation footnotes, in whatever language the local observers could read.

    But instead, he who must always be named, decided to have a bunch of bronze age sheep herders set up a set of scrolls, in only their own dead language, and wait a few thousand years, so his message could get out to the world in the slowerst, stupiest way possible.

    January 29, 2014 at 9:55 am |
  8. Matt

    Who wrote the Bible?

    January 29, 2014 at 9:43 am |
    • Redmond

      2 Timothy 3:16

      January 29, 2014 at 9:44 am |
      • Redmond

        All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness

        January 29, 2014 at 9:45 am |
        • tallulah13

          So why did god steal the ark story and why did he make up the entire exodus from Egypt story? Didn't he think that anyone would fact-check and realize that there is no evidence of a jewish slave population in Egypt at the time the story allegedly took place?

          January 29, 2014 at 9:53 am |
        • Redmond

          The Old Testament prophets and the New Testament authors recorded the Word of God as He spoke to them. Thus, God's Word was received and written by those who were inspired by the Holy Spirit over 15 hundred years. These various writings were collected and eventually became The Bible.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:03 am |
      • Live4Him

        Morning. How are you today?

        January 29, 2014 at 9:46 am |
      • simon

        Then, why is there KJV, NLV, NIV etc.?

        January 29, 2014 at 9:46 am |
        • Live4Him

          These are called translations.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:47 am |
        • Redmond

          The NT was originally written in Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic, the English translations is what you have listed above as different versions.

          Ultimately the Bible had to be translated into the English language, not all people read Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:49 am |
        • Redmond

          If you have the time and means to explore the original, feel free and read the original manuscripts in Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic if you like.

          The OT was written in Hebrew.

          Most people have preferences with the English translated version. Ultimately, you have to understand that the BIBLE is the divinely inspired WORD OF GOD.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:51 am |
    • Live4Him

      Dozens of people functioned as ghost-writers, but there is only one author – God.

         <><

      January 29, 2014 at 9:44 am |
      • Science Works

        Comedy Gold ^^^^^^^^^

        January 29, 2014 at 9:50 am |
      • Observer

        So why are there so many errors and contradictions?

        January 29, 2014 at 9:53 am |
        • Live4Him

          Argumentum ad nauseam

          January 29, 2014 at 9:56 am |
        • Observer

          Live4Him,

          So were you UNABLE to answer the question or just UNWILLING?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:08 am |
        • Live4Him

          @Observer : So were you UNABLE to answer the question or just UNWILLING?

          One cannot counter an apparition, which is what your so-called question is.

             <><

          January 29, 2014 at 10:17 am |
        • Observer

          Live4Him,

          Do you SERIOUSLY think that being AFRAID and UNWILLING to answer questions impresses anyone or convinces ANYONE that you know what you are talking about?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:44 am |
      • igaftr

        L4h
        Considering the violent destructive history that the bible inspired. it is clear evidence that Satan inspired the bible.
        The greatest trick satan ever pulled was inspiring the bible, then giving god the credit.
        Considering YOUR hostory on this blog...the smoke and mirrors, the misrepresentation of science, the flat out LIES...you clearly enjoy being an agent of satan.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:54 am |
        • Live4Him

          Argumentum ad hominem

          January 29, 2014 at 9:59 am |
        • No Evidence

          "satan"? really? pure mythology.... how's that delusion working out for ya.....

          January 29, 2014 at 10:03 am |
        • igaftr

          L4H
          not ad hominem when accurate.

          As far as your bible:
          1: god would not have gotten so much wrong...satan, not being omniscient, would have gotten things wrong and used previous stories as his base
          2: Belief in the bible has led to wars, death and destruction, faster spread of disease, murders, justification for salvery, attempted genocides...certainly not what a god wants, but certainly what your satan wants.
          3: chaos of interpretation...gods word would not be so easily corrupted, and the fact that no two individuals interpret it the same way, and there are over 40,000 versions of christianity, it shows there is a lot of confusion causing chaos...making so many christians doubt other christians...also what the devil would want.

          The greatest trick satan ever pulled is to inispire the bible, and give god the credit.

          Considering all of the false information you post, it is more likely you are an agent of satan than of any god.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:31 am |
    • tony

      The ancestors of Tammy Faye Baker

      January 29, 2014 at 9:50 am |
    • Lawrence of Arabia

      The Canon of Scripture consists of:
      1) The Sacred Books (Deuteronomy 31:24-30, 2 Timothy 3:15-16)
      2) Prophetic Writings (Zechariah 7:12, Jeremiah 1:1-4, 11, 2:1, Ezekiel 1:1-3, Luke 24:25-27, 44, 2 Peter 1:20-21)
      3) Apostolic Writings (Acts 2:42, Ephesians 2:20, 3:5, John 4:6)

      Before there was written scripture, God chose to speak to His messengers in person (Exodus 33:11) This ensured that what Moses would write about creation, and those things to which there was no human witness, would be accurate, he heard them straight from the lips of God

      Moses wrote (Deuteronomy 31:24)

      Joshua wrote (Joshua 24:26)

      Samuel wrote (1 Samuel 10:25)

      Prophets contributed (Zechariah 7:12)

      The Law was confirmed by King Josiah, Hilkiah the high priest, and Shaphan the scribe (2 Kings 22:8-13)

      The Old Testament canon was affirmed by Jesus (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10, 5:17, 21:13, Mark 7:6, Luke 4:16-21, 24:25-27, 44-45)

      The Old Testament was accepted by New Testament believers (Luke 24:32, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4)

      The New Testament refers to the Old Testament (Matthew 11:10, John 2:17, Acts 1:20, 7:42, 13:33, Romans 1:17, 1 Peter 1:16)

      Luke wrote to instruct us in certain matters (Luke 1:1-4, Acts 1:1-3)

      Paul was inspired to write (Romans 15:15-16, 1 Corinthians 16:21, 2 Corinthians 13:10, Galatians 6:11, Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, Colossians 1:1-2, 1 Thessalonians 1:1, 2 Thessalonians 1:1, 2 Timothy 1:1-2, T.itus 1:1-4, Philemon 1-3)

      James, Jesus’ brother wrote (James 1:1)

      Peter was inspired to write (1 Peter 5:12)

      John was inspired to write (1 John 2:12-14, 2:26, 4:6, 5:13, Revelation 1:1-3, 19)

      The writer of Hebrews contributed (Hebrews 13:22)

      January 29, 2014 at 9:52 am |
      • Honey Badger Don't Care

        You dont actually believe that garbage that you just wrote do you?

        January 29, 2014 at 9:57 am |
        • Lawrence of Arabia

          2 Peter 1:16
          "For we did not follow cleverly devised tales when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty."

          January 29, 2014 at 10:01 am |
      • No Evidence

        "I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.... At these times... I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure." ~J.K. Rowling, "The Pensieve," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,

        As long as we're quoting fiction...

        January 29, 2014 at 10:06 am |
    • Doc Vestibule

      I believe it was authored by the same council responsible for The Book of Love.
      Some historians believe that the same group put the bomp in the bomp shoo bomp shoo bomp, though the debate rages on regarding who precisely put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:54 am |
      • doobzz

        But...but...

        WHO put the dit in the dit di dit di dit?

        January 29, 2014 at 11:12 am |
        • Which God?

          And how does it get to the bottom of my "boogety boogety shoo/"

          January 29, 2014 at 1:40 pm |
        • doobzz

          If it's shoe instead of shoo, I'd say watch where you walk next time and you're golden!

          January 29, 2014 at 4:13 pm |
  9. David

    Biblical babble.

    January 29, 2014 at 9:30 am |
  10. Lawrence of Arabia

    2 Peter 3:3-7
    "Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all continues just as it was from the beginning of creation.” For when they maintain this, it escapes their notice that by the word of God the heavens existed long ago and the earth was formed out of water and by water, through which the world at that time was destroyed, being flooded with water. But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men."

    January 29, 2014 at 9:30 am |
    • truthprevails1

      Oh dear LoA...you're not worthy of debate...you hate women and all they stand for! Pathetic human!

      January 29, 2014 at 9:32 am |
      • Live4Him

        And you just want to use them and don't really care about them! (see how easy it is to falsely accuse another person like you just did?) Aren't ad hominem so much easier than sticking to simply debating the facts?!?

           <><

        January 29, 2014 at 9:38 am |
        • igaftr

          L4H

          Fatcs? You don't EVER have facts...you present belief as if it were fact, you take scientific fact s and misrepresent it.

          You do not even try to look at truth...

          You are an agent of satan...presenting false information and using the words of satan (the bible) to try to sew chaos.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:44 am |
        • Live4Him

          @igaftr : Fatcs? You don't EVER have facts

          The discovery of dino soft tissue – fact!
          The misdating of skull 1370 – fact!
          The misdating of recent lava flows to be millions of years old – fact!
          The lack of a natural explanation for matter, energy and time – fact!
          The supernatural explanation for matter, energy and time – fact!
          ( I could go on, but why bother? I've shown that I've presented many facts on this forum – which you will still deny.

          @igaftr : you take scientific fact s and misrepresent it.

          This is the tactic that atheists employ to address the facts mentioned above. 🙂

             <><

          January 29, 2014 at 9:53 am |
        • Observer

          Live4Him

          "The supernatural explanation for matter, energy and time – fact!"

          You don't have a CLUE what the word "FACT" means. Please use a dictionary. Also look up the word "OPINION".

          January 29, 2014 at 9:57 am |
        • igaftr

          l4h
          there you go again with the dino soft tissue...NOT A FACT as has been repeatedly hammered back at you.

          The samples were tainted, not pure...it is false data...you have been told that at least 10 times by ME alone...see you are an agent of satan...

          January 29, 2014 at 9:59 am |
        • Live4Him

          @igaftr : The samples were tainted, not pure...it is false data.

          And your source for this claim is ... Oh, THAT'S rrrriiiight – it was a SELF-PUBLISHED article because no reputable scientific journal would publish such garbage! Well, whatever tickles your beliefs, swallow them hook-line-and sinker!

             <><

          January 29, 2014 at 10:22 am |
        • truthprevails1

          Use them? Sorry I'm happily in a relationship that is hetero with AtheistSteve.
          LoA has made it very clear that contraception should not be allowed and that abortion should not be allowed...a clear dislike for women!
          Now be a good little christian and start to live in the 21st century!

          January 29, 2014 at 10:29 am |
        • Lawrence of Arabia

          truthprevails1,
          Don't misquote me, it just makes you look hateful. I never said that ALL contraception was wrong, just the kind that carries with it even the slightest chance of murdering a developing infant in the womb.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:36 am |
    • No Evidence

      "You place too much importance... on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" ~J.K. Rowling, "The Parting of the Ways," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,

      Quoting fiction again, just like the bible!

      January 29, 2014 at 10:07 am |
  11. L

    The atheist position is false. Give it up atheists.

    January 29, 2014 at 9:28 am |
    • truthprevails1

      Oh my, making claims that you have no support for. How is Atheism false and why should we stop questioning your god claims for which you have zero evidence?
      Carl Sagan said it best "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
      Now please provide the peer-reviewed scientific data that shows your god exists and then we'll be able to put this debate to rest, until that point you are simply one more gullible fool.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:31 am |
      • L

        Stating and believing there is no god is a claim. Time to grow up and come down from your throne troll.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:37 am |
        • truthprevails1

          It is not a claim, it is denial based on the complete lack of evidence. I don't claim to be on throne and calling me a troll only shows your inability to communicate in an adult like manner.
          I've grown up...that is why I don't believe in things that have no evidence...can you say the same? Only children and schizophrenics have imaginary friends-which one are you?

          January 29, 2014 at 10:27 am |
      • Live4Him

        You just resorted to Argumentum ad verecundiam and you want FACTS from your opponent? What difference would facts make? You'll still believe as you want and will find SOME authority to justify that belief.

           <><

        January 29, 2014 at 9:43 am |
        • truthprevails1

          L4H: I believe on the peer-reviewed evidence and not some out dated 2000 year old book that can easily be debunked. I get that to believe that evidence would destroy your life but you might wish to try it...an open mind is not a bad thing.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:38 am |
    • Tom, Tom, the Other One

      Oh, sorry, I didn't know. I'll pack it in for the day. Maybe it'll be true tomorrow.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:31 am |
      • L

        It will never be true. Why are you believing and following blindly whittle tommy? you have NO PROOF. Atheism is false. Grow up and stop believing a fairy-tale.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:34 am |
        • Tom, Tom, the Other One

          I guess I'll have to rely on you, L, to provide proof of the way things really are.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:37 am |
        • L

          Atheists want all humans to be atheist without confirming there literally is no God. Why on earth would any believe a biased emotional person like atheists? Your reasons for attaching yourself like a leech to Christianity is for emotional purposes.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:39 am |
        • What's the Difference?

          Christians want all humans to be Christian without confirming there literally is no Zeus, Odin, Shiva, ...

          January 29, 2014 at 9:51 am |
        • L

          It's impossible for a race of over 7 billion humans to follow one system. The atheist dream is a fairy tale. Religion will always be here. You can't take away that right because your an emotional leech that latches on to the faith they left. Grow up. Seriously, get help.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:55 am |
        • doobzz

          "Grow up and stop believing a fairy-tale."

          Ahahahaha!

          January 29, 2014 at 11:16 am |
        • JB

          "It's impossible for a race of over 7 billion humans to follow one system"

          Including your religion, I guess? Well, I've never heard anyone admit that before!

          January 29, 2014 at 11:40 am |
    • David

      We don't have a position. We don't believe your position because you don't provide compelling evidence for a fantastic claims.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:33 am |
      • L

        Believing there is no creator requires evidence. Do you have that evidence? No? Your atheism is false.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:35 am |
        • G to the T

          Certainty vs confidence. Saying "There is a god" (certainty) is different than says "I believe god exists" (confidence).

          You seem to be confusing the two. I am not certain there is no god, but thus far, no one's provided sufficient evidence for me to believe it is true. I am witholding belief until such time as I get that info (if ever).

          January 29, 2014 at 12:22 pm |
    • igaftr

      here comes the silly troll of a thousand names again...it is only a matter of time until the posts all disappear due to trolling....move along ..nothing to see here.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:40 am |
      • L

        Why can atheists do it but others can't? So when an atheist does it, claims something is false to make others mad, it's not "trolling"?! LOL!!!!! Come down from your fake throne you put yourself on dumb troll.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:43 am |
        • Saraswati

          When said with no content like the OP it is much more likely to be trolling. The poster may or may not be a theists...they're just someone looking for attention. When people are genuinely trying to with someone to their side, regardless of motivation, it isn't trolling.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:46 am |
  12. MattIsFamous

    We all know what this means. Round, like a spacecraft! So the flood was caused by Aliens and the Alien (Noah) took some specimens to save after cleansing the Earth of the filthy and unworthy.

    It is Aliens.

    January 29, 2014 at 9:26 am |
  13. Science Works

    For all creationists is – Ham the father of Genesis 9:18-9 related to the Ken Ham who owns the Creation Museum ?

    January 29, 2014 at 9:20 am |
    • Tom, Tom, the Other One

      Jews and Muslims would deny a relationship with ham.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:22 am |
      • Science Works

        Ok that was logically funny .

        January 29, 2014 at 9:26 am |
    • truthprevails1

      Funny really, the Creationist Museum almost went bankrupt...when you have nothing new to offer, it tends to go that way. Ken Ham is an insult to humanity.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:34 am |
      • Science Works

        And it shows how Ken Ham (ICR too) and DECEPTION play a key role in religion !

        Bill Nye gets to tell Ham creationism is not good for children Feb 4th 2014.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:48 am |
        • truthprevails1

          Oh thank you for that date. I am looking forward to hearing this.

          January 29, 2014 at 10:35 am |
  14. Tom, Tom, the Other One

    Perhaps there is truth to the story that we're not willing to face: we survived on the "B Ark" the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy tells us about.

    January 29, 2014 at 9:10 am |
  15. Tom, Tom, the Other One

    The power of the Flood story, for us the canonical biblical version, is in what it tells us about humanity’s relationship with God.

    Our relationship with God is such that God can kill any or all of us at any time – nothing holds it back. We are infinitely weak. God is infinitely strong. You're odd if you want to believe in that. I hope you have better relationships with your family and friends.

    January 29, 2014 at 8:46 am |
    • Lawrence of Arabia

      And when we have a true understanding of ourselves and who God is, we understand that God SHOULD destroy us. There is no reason that God should let any of us take our first breath of life but for His grace and mercy.

      January 29, 2014 at 9:11 am |
      • Tom, Tom, the Other One

        There's no reason, except for your own peculiar needs, to believe in a God that can prevent an infant from taking its first breath.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:14 am |
      • Science Works

        IT sure is NOT genesis LoA

        January 29, 2014 at 9:14 am |
      • Charm Quark

        LofA
        Which of the Gods? I personally am quite familiar with Dionysus, He is not into the grace and mercy shtick, more of a wine and woman guy. Please state what god you are babbling about in your posts so we don't have to keep asking, thanks.

        January 29, 2014 at 9:29 am |
  16. scientificpoetry

    It's amazing that modern society is still talking about silly myths invented by bronze age people who didn't even know the earth revolved around the sun. Religion is a tough virus to cure. Hopefully, as the general public becomes more educated and enlightened, religion will fall to the wayside and be understood as a strange part of our history. It just doesn't seem to be happening fast enough though...

    January 29, 2014 at 8:33 am |
  17. Rainbow

    The power of the Flood story, for us the canonical biblical version, is in what it tells us about humanity’s relationship with God.

    –It's not about humanity's relationship with God, the key message from the story of this flood is that there are consequences for disobeying God. It's is very clear from the beginning, from the time of Adam and Eve, that man will have to face the consequences when he chooses to disobey God.

    January 29, 2014 at 8:30 am |
    • Doc Vestibule

      Becuase God is jealous and wrathful, like a petulant child.

      January 29, 2014 at 8:33 am |
    • Rainbow

      And the devil is in the details, he's busy fooling the unwise into worshipping him.

      January 29, 2014 at 8:34 am |
      • Doc Vestibule

        Rejection of the supernatural precludes the worship of it.

        January 29, 2014 at 8:38 am |
      • igaftr

        rainbow
        "And the devil is in the details, he's busy fooling the unwise into worshipping him."

        You could be right...he inspired the bible...just look at all the terrible things that have been done by mankind to mankind due to belief in the bible...people who believe the bible are following the words of satan.

        January 29, 2014 at 8:43 am |
      • Rainbow

        That is what the devil has been telling you, that it's all a fable. You fell for his lie! That is exactly what he told Eve in in the garden of Eden-"Did God really say that?"

        January 29, 2014 at 8:44 am |
        • Doc Vestibule

          I'll stay wary of talking snakes, donkeys and flaming foliage.

          January 29, 2014 at 8:47 am |
        • Science Works

          Make sure to park your talking donkey at the curb Rainbow !

          January 29, 2014 at 8:48 am |
        • Rainbow

          Which means God uses to talk to mankind, is up to Him. God can use any means of communication to get to you.

          January 29, 2014 at 8:53 am |
        • Doc Vestibule

          God speaks to people all the time.
          In 2008, He told Boyce Singleton Jr. to shoot and stab his pregnant girlfriend.
          Deanna Laney heard God direct her to bludgeon her three sons, aged 9, 6 and 15 months. Only the youngest survived.
          Blair Donnelly received instructions to stab to death his 16 year old daughter, Stephanie.
          Christopher Varian was slaughtered with a cheese knife after God spoke with one of his employees.
          God told Jennifer Cisowski to dash her infant's head on the rocks, so ""Just like Jesus raised Lazarus, I threw the baby on the stones by the pool."
          Khandi Busby got a direct message from God advising her that the only way to save her 6 and 8 year old boys was to toss them off a bridge in Dallas. Fortunately, they survived.
          Angel Rico says he received a divine command to strangle his 4 year old son, so he did just that and left him at the side of the highway.
          Lashaun Harris threw her 3 young kids into the San Francisco Bay after God let her know that He wanted a human sacrifice.

          January 29, 2014 at 8:54 am |
        • Rainbow

          Sure, gods continue to speak to people all the time.

          The references in the Bible are means of communication that God used, the later references you gave of people are from gods(devil).

          That is exactly why the earlier posts refer to the fact that you either worship God or gods(devil).

          January 29, 2014 at 8:58 am |
        • Science Works

          For all creationists is Ham the father of Genesis 9:18-9 related to the Ken Ham who owns the Creation Museum ?

          January 29, 2014 at 9:00 am |
        • doobzz

          "Which means God uses to talk to mankind, is up to Him. God can use any means of communication to get to you."

          So why doesn't he just use the internet like everyone else?

          Seriously, pulling the magic card is a weak argument. "God doesn't intervene in the natural world, until he does. Which is whenever I can't come up with a rational response."

          January 29, 2014 at 4:09 pm |
      • WASP

        yeah i love the devil / lucifer; the original unruly child. XD

        i mean seriously give the guy some credit without his unruly behavior we wouldn't have free will to choose what we wanted to do. just think about it, before his part in the story(mind you that your god already knew about) adam and eve did exactly as god wanted them to do...............given i think your god is kindof a perv seeing he made his newest toys walk around naked and always knew where they were, even while they went to the bathroom.

        if your god was here today he would be arrested for being a peeping tom. XD

        January 29, 2014 at 9:00 am |
    • Tom, Tom, the Other One

      It's a fable. The only people who believe otherwise, or say they believe, are the ones willing to believe anything, no matter how foolish, if they think their God wants them to believe it.

      January 29, 2014 at 8:37 am |
    • Up Your Rear Admiral

      Rainbow, I'll see you in the Rapture Capsule with the unicorns. Remember to wear your nose ring – the big steel one that I padlocked the chain onto when we were practicing for the Uplifting.

      This time, though, when the swirling starts and your head goes down, keep your mouth closed so the brown floaters don't go in like they did in your last practice session.

      January 29, 2014 at 8:47 am |
      • Rainbow

        If you continue to entertain the devil, he will continue to possess you.

        January 29, 2014 at 8:55 am |
        • igaftr

          If you say that, why do you keep entertaining the devil by reading the book he inspired...you call it the bible...the devil calls it the greatest trick he ever played.

          January 29, 2014 at 9:19 am |
    • doobzz

      The message is that it doesn't matter if you are innocent or guilty, when god gets angry, he commits genocide.

      January 29, 2014 at 1:53 pm |
      • Conglomerate

        In many ways he's like a big bank, except the big banks exist in the here and now.

        January 29, 2014 at 4:22 pm |
        • doobzz

          Well, and if I overdraw my checking account, they don't send a bear to kill me.

          January 29, 2014 at 6:02 pm |
        • $$

          Bull or Bear, either way they get theirs, and yours

          February 1, 2014 at 7:33 pm |
  18. Doc Vestibule

    Man is the predilect object of Creation and the entire Universe exists as it does simply to have us in it.
    The Universe only appears to be billions of years old because The Creator willed it thus.
    God is anthropocentric – it says here right on the label.
    The rest of the universe, oh so simple and boring compared to humanity, is simply window dressing – God really concentrated when making The Earth as opposed to, say – the Andromeda galaxy.
    You see, when God was creating the Earth he placed it in a time dilation bubble in order to give it the attention it needed.
    This is how we see light from distant galaxies – they are, relativistically speaking, billions of years old – but thanks to God's chronoton singularity, we are only a few thousand years old.

    God bestowed certain seemingly normal objects with chronoton field generation capability, like Moses' staff and Noah's ark.
    How else did the seas part or was the ark able to support two of every animal despite it's size?

    In recent studies, credible theologians have revealed that the physical dimensions of Noah's Ark were actually much, much smaller than those depicted in the Bible. They theorize that the source texts were modified to be more believable as nobody would be able to imagine all life on Earth fitting into a box no bigger than a phone booth.
    The oral histories of a small, reclusive sect of ultra-orthodox Jews say that the Ark made a "Vworrrp Vworrrrp" sound before it gradually faded from sight. Stone tablets retrieved from this same sect show that the name "Noah" is actually an ancient Hebrew word from a long lost dialect that translates to "Healer".
    They also found evidence that Moses' staff was really a small, hand held device about the size of a pen that emitted a high pitched squeal and glowing green light. "Staff" also appears to be a mistranslation. The original word was "screwdriver".

    When early Christians were deciding which text to declard canon, there was one particular passage from the Talmud that caused so much confusion and strife at the Nicene Council that they elected to omit it from the Bible.
    Scraps of that ancient text were found in the same cave as the Dead Sea Scrolls, but have yet to be publically released. The text seems to be proclamations from a long forgotten prophet, but there is little context to make any sense of them.

    Thus far, scholars have translated: "run", "don't blink", and a thoroughly confusing psalm praising the virtues of decorative neckwear.

    January 29, 2014 at 8:24 am |
  19. kyzaadrao

    If it wasn't the ark referred to in the Biblical texts then the "scholar" should probably stop referring to it as Noah's ark and be very clear about which civilization it was from. Using the Biblical names to constantly refer to it is nothing but cashing in on the Jewish/Christian version.

    There are many parallels in religion, being specific enough to not make it sound like something out of a tabloid would lend more credibility.

    January 29, 2014 at 8:21 am |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.