May 26th, 2010
03:17 PM ET

Courtesy of Twitter, God speaks

Apparently even God is getting in on the Twitter business. 

A new website launched this week called almightytweets.com culls tweets in which God’s advice is shared. Take, for instance, this one from this afternoon: “Yesterday Eli said ‘God told me we had to go to dippin dots.’ So we did.”

Some others that have posted in the last 24 hours include:

My mom said God told her I was gettn married soon. I hope he didn’t mean this weekend in Vegas…lol


God told me that I’d become self-righteous!

Hot on the site are references to a news story earlier this week in which a man in Lousiana was found walking the streets naked. When asked why, he reportedly said God told him to do it to save his soul.

It’s stories like these that inspire Marc Hartzman, a creative director in a New York ad agency who’s behind almightytweets.com. He wrote the recently published, “God Made Me Do It: True Stories of the Worst Advice the Lord Has Ever Given His Followers.”

“The stories range from the totally absurd to the horrific,” he said by phone.

In the span of five minutes, he rattled off some stand-out stories he gathered in his research. There was the story of the man who said God told him to TP (toilet paper) the police station. Another man said God commanded him to create a life-sized Jesus out of toothpicks. Five years later, having lost his job and wife, he had a 65,000-toothpick Jesus in his garage. And then there was the man who said God told him to juggle for Terri Schiavo.

“He drove 480 miles to Terri Schiavo’s hospice with his pregnant wife and kids,” Hartzman said, referring to the woman who spent 15 years in a permanent vegetative state. “God had 15 years to help this woman, and he couldn’t. So he thought, ‘I don't know, I’ll send a juggler?’”

With his newly launched site, Hartzman even allows visitors to determine God's mood and behavior. At "Tracking God's Mood" we can see how the Almighty is feeling, according to Twitter followers.

"Even when he's giving us bad advice, now you get to judge him," Hartzman said.

Word is that today God's somewhere between "benevolent-ish" and "smiteful."

- CNN Writer/Producer

Filed under: Belief • Culture & Science

soundoff (16 Responses)
  1. Trista

    First of all God never gives bad advice. If you got bad advice it came from the flesh or from satan. God only tells us what we need to do to be in his will. Also Satan can't make you do anything either. We all have free will. I noticed on that site there was no place for comments.

    May 27, 2010 at 3:21 pm |
  2. Yeahimright

    God's words take form according to ancient analogies, So when he says he doesn't like something. Bam that thing is pretty rough looking. Or if he says that is good. Mmmm tasty.I've never seen anything as beautiful as that. These old perceptions may no longer apply. I suggest that we quit saying God or any other diety directed any of us to do anything. It seems to only lead to a mockery of divinity and the virtues that define it. It also adds misinformation and confusion to a defined logic. It
    causes a disconnection due to the kinds of persons these things bring attention too. The fool and the wise man become the same. You wanna know what God says. He says!!! I only speak to my good ones.

    May 27, 2010 at 11:32 am |
  3. oh no!

    hey mods, you missed the 4 comments above mine. Get to work and just delete them all while you're at it!

    May 27, 2010 at 10:45 am |
  4. MeMeMe

    That's just weird...but I suppose to each his own. It's not my place to judge. If God doesn't like it, he'll let you know someday.

    May 27, 2010 at 8:14 am |
  5. sharon pless

    Tell me which would you perfer – Heaven or Hell! Eternally! I wouldn't take that type of chance and end up in a burning hell because I wanted my opinion to matter.

    May 27, 2010 at 7:15 am |
  6. thes33k3r

    I used to be a believer...a Christian. I literally believed that Jesus was the son of god, born of a virgin, performed miracles, was crucified, and rose from the dead. I was raised attending church. Years later, I decided one day to read the bible....cover to cover. It took me about a year. After I finished it, I made up my mind that I had been duped...I couldn't possibly continue to believe that this book was the greatest book ever written and was authored (or inspired) by the creator of the universe. I learned more about the world's religions. I read a lot of books on the subject (yes, some written by atheists...but many were not). The more I learned about life and the human condition the more I began to see that it makes much more sense to view religion as a natural phenomenon created from the minds of men over a very long time period. I continue to study today and I keep an open mind because I want to learn about the universe...and I hope to keep
    learning until the day I die.

    May 26, 2010 at 11:23 pm |
    • bash

      Well put, thes33k3r!

      May 28, 2010 at 11:52 am |
  7. scroo yoo

    another reason to not believe in a god,who would want to worship someone who uses something so inane as twitter

    May 26, 2010 at 10:43 pm |
  8. righteous-in-Christ

    Letting go of God would be the worse thing that any believer does! My trust has always been in the Lord Jesus Christ, not in religion that is corrupted. I am also an Ex-Catholic and now a born-again Christian. I have never seen a happy atheist on any of the blogs, just bitter, evil, ignorant, and lifeless Atheists and God forbid that I would ever want to be one of those! I an a happy nondenominational Christian and from my personal experience, the Lord has never failed e and He has been nothing but good to me.....ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

    May 26, 2010 at 6:42 pm |
    • thes33k3r

      To self-righteous in christ,
      I am a very happy atheist. One of the main reasons I am happy is because I took the time to learn about religion and was eventually able to shed my naive, supernatural, Christian religious beliefs.

      Next time maybe you should put your entire comment in ALL-CAPS!!! I bet all of us misguided readers would know then that you really meant what you stated.

      May 26, 2010 at 11:21 pm |
    • Marley

      righteous-brainwashed-by-christ: You are the perfect example of why I don't follow your cult.

      May 27, 2010 at 1:09 am |
    • Brian

      I am a very happy atheist. I'm so happy, I do my best to make others happy as well. I even donated my Christmas break to be in Africa volunteering while you were opening Christmas presents and stuffing yourself with ham and potatoes and all kinds of food that thousands of people are dying to get....literally.

      Not to be as self righteous as you, but who is the better Christian type? The one who volunteered his time and money during the holiday season to help the less fortunate, or the one who stayed in his cozy home being greedy with his presents, envious of others', and gluttonous with his food?

      Hmmm....I wonder.

      May 27, 2010 at 1:38 am |
      • Dave

        "Not" to be as self righteous? Why do people do say things like that. They say things like 'no pun intended' and then make a pun. You say 'not to be self righteous'... then get all up in our grill with self righteousness It's great you're helping out, keep up the good work. I'll let you know when I have your medal ready.

        May 27, 2010 at 7:26 am |
      • Bob Sadler

        You sound like a good person, although you missed the whole atheist lesson on "Think Globally, act locally."

        I volunteered at a local shelter and still had time to honor the season with family, friends, and neighbors.

        May 27, 2010 at 8:09 am |
    • bash

      I too am a happy atheist. I do get cranky when I encounter self-righteousness, though,or when I am called evil. Still, I'm doing ok, and that's 67 years of it! I spent my working life as a teacher to people from all over the world and that simply increased my appreciation for human differences and similarities. It did not, however, turn me into a religionist. Sorry to disappoint you r-in-c!

      May 28, 2010 at 11:51 am |
  9. Flying Gigabustuh

    God told me to use Ken in Super Street Fighter 4. He helps by telling me when to spam hadokens (when far away) and when to wake-up Ultra (when they are close). I wish god was better at SSF4 because I keep getting punished every time I do those. But since it's gods word, it will show it's purpose someday, right?

    May 26, 2010 at 3:25 pm |
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