September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. JEM

    Laws regulating and/or restricting s#x are all based on Christian socialist exertions. It is from Christian socialism that we got the "Comstock Laws". If abortion is outlawed by Christians, we can expect a ban on the Pill, Norplant, IUD, Shot and Patch. (Google "Birth Control Abortion")
    Laws related to pornography and prostitution also originate from Christian movements
    It seems Christians have always been against s$x.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm |
  2. JeffB

    There is only one proper way for a true Christian to procreate. It must be done for the purpose of having a child only, and it must be done with the lights out, in missionary position, mostly clothed, while singing bible hymns. All other ways are degenerate!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:08 pm |
    • William - South FL

      Does that include anal sex???

      September 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm |
  3. me

    I love sex– and so do some priests too!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:08 pm |
  4. Ellen

    What is up with CNN's recent attacks on Christianity? First it was the article that "churches a blocking black women from getting married" and now "How Christians spoil sex"?Is this a new weekly attack on Christianity? What's up CNN – do not feel like JUDGING other reglions or your own news reporting creditability? I am seeing a pattern.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:07 pm |
  5. Veronica

    The point was that Christians can FULLY enjoy MARITAL physical intimacy...which can be attained if we take a different, truly BIBLICAL approach, as opposed to the "religious" "morally upright" "stale" stance which serves as no more than a decieving facade. Many reasons exist as to why divorce rates are so high today. I believe that little, routine, physical intimacy or lack their of, are a -if not major- contributor. As Christians, we are to live our lives FULLY. In that, we are to protect our marriages from any potential threat. This is the one less spoken of, as though discussing these issues somehow rinses away our Salvation...

    As Christians we are called to be TRUE. Treating the issue of physical intimacy as tabu seems a bit un-true. And, if we can't be for real about this, how many other more important issues do we choose to supress? That is pretention at it's best, and today's True Christians suffer a sad reputation because of it. Today more than ever this whole world needs Truth, what else do we offer them, when we ourselves are not true? Yes, as the author of the original blog stated, " 'Sex before marriage is harmful..[&] Sex after marriage is neon awesome.'" Many other aspects of life are the same when we apply Scripture to them in this same way.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:07 pm |
  6. Greg

    The fact he seems to be missing is that studies have shown evangelical women are far more likely to report reaching climax "most of the time" than those who don't attend church regularly, just as married women are far more likely than single women. He seems to be working off of stereotypes rather than the actual married lives of evangelical Christians. Just because some of us waited until marriage, doesn't mean we're boring or guilt ridden people. Quite the opposite, we tend to be much more content.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:06 pm |
    • dogmeat

      yeah... 'cause you're deluded.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm |
  7. iichronicles

    i don't know what kind of ministry this person is in, but the ministry I attend teaches us that SEX is AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:05 pm |
  8. Ryan

    I'm Christian and married to a Catholic and my wife and I have an amazing sex life.
    Thanks to the great KarmaSutra book.. hahaha.. We give it (the book)as a gift to all couples getting married.
    Without a great sex, you cant have a great marriage.
    Anyone that says different is kidding themselves.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:05 pm |
  9. Baltazar

    You wait til you live under **sharia**. Let me know how that works out for you.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
  10. kenny

    Teaching about s-e-x is the job of a parent, NOT a preacher or a school teacher. If all I taught my child was " it's wrong until marriage" , then I would consider myself a bad parent. That's not educating them, that's keeping them ignorant.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
  11. Adlai

    I'm not sure I concur. A heard an expert on human sexuality recently who said studies found that religious women had more orgasms on average than non-religious women. This agrees with my own experience. My first wife was cynical about religion, and cold as a fish in the bedroom. After the marriage ended, I got involved with a devout Christian woman. She was red hot! No, I'm not kidding. She was very reserved and conservative about s-ex in public, but in the bedroom, she was something else. She loved to talk dirty. She could practically have an orgasm from kissing. She loved giving and receiving oral. She liked role playing. She liked being tied up and spanked. She had a great imagination. She believed that God made us sexual beings as part of His plan, and she was eager to participate!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
  12. Davren

    @There is no God..Its amazing how you have such faith in your OWN beliefs but are so quick to attack ours..lol..If you actually READ the Bible you would know that Man's action in the NAME of God are not ALWAYS what God would have man's actions to be.

    The Bible is a blueprint..Man still has a will to obey and disobey.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:02 pm |
  13. Bushpig61

    No more marriage for me, now I just wail! And hammer! And rail! And hit dat stuff!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:02 pm |
  14. albus

    Come on. Christianians gave us the missonary position

    September 3, 2010 at 4:02 pm |
  15. Phil

    This article does not reflect modern reality of Christian churches. My Baptist minister gave a sermon seiries entitled "Sex that sizzles". This was posted on the marque outside the church and discussed for several weeks in the church.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:01 pm |
  16. Davren

    What circles of Christians does he hang around? The church I go talks openly with teens about sex. Just in the marital stage though. I think its been proven time and time again the dangers of pre-marital sex.

    Whether you agree with me or not, the STD/HIV problem would not be one if people waited until marriage to have sex. With that said, there alot of Christian couples, myself included (im married) who did it the right way and are enjoying out lives together.


    September 3, 2010 at 4:00 pm |
  17. michael

    To put so much into sex leads to perversion! perverts!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:00 pm |
  18. Sophie

    How 'bout an article on how the media spoils s*x?

    September 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm |
  19. Sophie

    How about an article on how the media spoils sex?

    September 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm |
  20. debbie


    September 3, 2010 at 3:58 pm |
    • Mike


      September 3, 2010 at 4:13 pm |
    • peace2all


      And LMAO is....?


      September 3, 2010 at 4:17 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.