September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. Jim Bob

    The New Testament says celibacy is better than marriage. Christian tradition is that sex is only for procreation, not pleasure. Political church leaders historically have used sex-guilt to manipulate the faithful. And fun sex is a red-flag for paganism. No wonder Christians are neurotic prudes.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  2. Really?

    At least CNN is bashing Christianity directly instead of acting neutral( as if they were). Those Christians are so horrible, they ruin all the fun. I wonder when they'll post an article like this on Islam or Gays? "How Gays Spoil sex" or "How Muslims spoil sex"?? Umm, I am going to guess, never. And they wonder why people watch Fox. Too funny!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  3. Upnorth

    Funny that Christians view making love wrong until marriage, yet the Catholic church is always in trouble with little boys! Maybe you thought God was just speaking about man/woman encounters.......hmmm. Oh and I think the Duggars are extreme......can't wait for one of their daughter to rebel. That will make for an interesting spin off....

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  4. shilpy

    doesn't the author know about the kama sutra chapter in the scriptures?

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  5. disagreejb

    I am a devote christian who strongly disagrees with this article. Intimate relationships between married couples who have waited for marriage before making love are far more satisfying and enduring, and also more regular. My wife and I enjoy a passionate love life that is anything but boring, and we enjoy it with no guilt or fear of consequence. To those of you who laugh at abstinence, remember, ignorance is bliss and practice makes perfect!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  6. Translation

    Hey! That couple in the picture isn't facing each other, the way God wants it! That's a SIN!
    .........or are we to believe that back door sex is okay?

    September 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm |
  7. simpee

    I believe in God, but I also believe in sex. All religions need to lighten up on people. Religions are all man made to control the masses.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:14 pm |
  8. Loriloct18

    Anything to do with Sex is going to bring up major disucssion. Pre-marital, how wild, what is "moral" in the bed, "open relationships/marriages".. the list could go on and on. The one thing that I see is that there are many "Christians" who don't practice what they preach. So how can the general idea of how sex should be be any different? Sex is meant to connect with your partner on a very intimate level. How wild, hot, and crazy needs to be based on a mutual comfort level. People needs to learn to stop judging and everyone needs to learn to be more open without fear of ridicule. This will change many things.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:13 pm |
  9. DownToEarth8

    Sex. What is with all this s-ex nonsense?

    September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
  10. Scott

    This is just pandering to politics.
    Why not say "How Muslims spoil sex?"

    September 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm |
  11. Jon

    Replace the word Christian with Muslim and the word Christianity with Islam. Publish your story again chicken-$h!t...

    September 3, 2010 at 4:11 pm |
    • Oran

      @Jon, 100% agreed.

      September 3, 2010 at 11:45 pm |
    • Charlotte

      LOL! How wrong you are... Where exactly do you get your information? Islam is the ONLY religion that encourages the joy of sex within a marriage (not just for procreation). This is considered very halal and deserved.

      September 4, 2010 at 4:09 am |
    • Charlotte

      LOL! How wrong you are... Where exactly do you get your information? Islam is the ONLY religion that encourages the joy of intimacy within a marriage (not just for procreation). This is considered very halal and deserved.

      September 5, 2010 at 5:49 am |
  12. Marcels wife

    parents should teach their children about abstinence and safe sex, not the church. It is a FAMILY affair. Education is the key to preventing teen pregnancy and STD's, this is not rocket science. The bottom line is teens are goign to experiment, lets just hope you equipped your children to deal with these issues with some amount of education. That maybe with alcohol, drugs, sex, who knows, but if you TAUGHT them instead of tryin to put "the fear of God " in them then they might be ok. Nuff said. Let the church teach the "word" and the "parents" teach the life lessons that arent spelled out in "the book"

    September 3, 2010 at 4:11 pm |
  13. Translation

    "You, me and Christ." Is that a Christian threesome? God, Christ, whatever. It's the best argument why FANTASY makes for hotter sex.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:11 pm |
  14. Chaz

    can someone send this to my wife?

    September 3, 2010 at 4:11 pm |
  15. Lyn Small

    My husband and I have lived our adult lives as committed followers of Jesus. Tomorrow we celebrate our thirty-ninth anniversary. Our sexual activity–for thirty-nine years!–has ranged from pro forma to wild. We're in our mid-sixties and have no plans for stopping. My father, a minister, still loves making innuendos about his very physical love for my mother. We've grown up with really healthy attitudes re: the great delight in our sexuality!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:10 pm |
  16. me

    I love s-x and so do some priests too!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 4:10 pm |
  17. I luv Jez

    I have to ask permission with God before I screw my wife.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm |
  18. Eiolg

    I'd say that this wet blanket attitude toward sex only comes with those in the rule bound denominations, not in the Saved by Grace denominations.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm |
  19. rivirivi

    How Muslims spoil sex: They make all women at 12 years old be operated so she does not perceive, receive or feel any type of pleasure. They make all women hide under a non-entity dress so their bruises are not shown and so that the women – whom they believe are responsible for the men's thoughts in their heads- do not "make" men sin with their lust. In the Kuram it isaid that Women are the worst thing ever made for men. Men are ok with stone "their" women to death, making their own sons be the first stone throwers right in their mother's eyes.
    How organized religions spoil sex: With guilt, obsession, negation, power over- "their" women.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm |
  20. Dee-mo

    Why must CNN (and most of you) have to go out of its way to bash Christians? Why not practice the tolerance I keep hearing you all bleat about?

    September 3, 2010 at 4:09 pm |
    • Kate

      And how does this article, written by a Christian, bash Christians?

      September 3, 2010 at 9:00 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.