September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. Don108

    Do you understand how totally hypocritical the basic concept is? "Christians ...should also teach that while s-x before marriage is bad, 's-x when you’re married is awesome.'” That's like saying cherries are bad until someone signs a paper, then cherries are awesome."

    No, cherries (unless you're allergic to them!) are ALWAYS awesome. So is s-x. You're going to have to come up with a better lie than this hypocrisy to convince people otherwise.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  2. Scott

    One of the steamiest books ever written is in the bible-The Song of Solomon

    September 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  3. ace

    Why does CNN think its ok to attack Christanity but not other religions???? Is Christanity the only religion that teach abstinance? Would they ever print such a headline about Islam or Judaism. "Islam spoils sex" "Jews spoil sex"
    STOP THE REVERSE RELIGIOUS DISCRIMINATION CNN! Christians deserve the same respect you give to other religions.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  4. VirginiaJeff

    I'm surprised this is a big deal. I'm Baptist, and my parents taught me exactly that: sex is for marriage, and it's great!

    September 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  5. Michael

    What a stupid "article" if I can even call it that. My wife and I are Christians and we have a great sex life. 3-5 times a week, all positions, toys, light bondage etc 🙂

    But let's just think for a minute...what if everyone in our society followed the true teaching of the new testament about sex...there would be no unwanted babbies, no abortions, no STDs, no rapes...

    Wow, wouldn't that be horrible.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  6. autom

    And what is it with Christians complaining about Sharia Law, yet have no qualms forcing Bible Thumper law into our government? For example, laws against selling alcohol on Sundays and laws against certain consensually intimate positions.

    September 3, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
  7. JF Souza

    Hot s-ex is about bodies. Unfortunately, for Christians, the body is "the devil's playground.," the seat of corruption of the soul.

    So, good luck reconciling the two!

    September 3, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
  8. Bonnie Blue

    Hate speech against Christians seems to be the White House talking point of the month if one reads and listens to enough of the blame-stream media. Guess this writer, Mr. John Blake, has never experience the love of a good Christian wife and the really hot sex we give and love to receive. Often the quality of sex one gets is a direct reflection of what one gives. That doesn't reflect well on Mr. Blake does it? Just sayin.......

    September 3, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
  9. levine

    How Christians spoil s@x?
    By molesting young boys.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:58 pm |
    • LC

      That is a Catholic not a Christian, 2 different religions, totally different. Christians sleep with prostitutes and have mature homosexual relationships with forgiving wives.

      September 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm |
  10. Bill

    CNN posts a lot of anti-Christian tripe, and some of it is downright idiotic. I think this one is the new champion. I only need to point out the generalizing that goes on. Yet, if a blogger writes challenging questions for Islam, the media freaks out and does editorials on "intolerance."

    September 3, 2010 at 4:58 pm |
  11. M&M

    If the article is about s-e-x then why can't we use the word here in response to the article.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:57 pm |
  12. Luis Daniel

    By the time I graduated from my Catholic high-school I was convinced I would burn in hell for being "a fornicator". I spent 4 or 5 years as an agnostic and then while traveling through Africa I discovered Ifa, a religion that teaches you that s-e-x is just another manifestation of Ashe (spiritual power). Now I have accepted the positive role s-e-xuality plays in my life and I embrace it without guilt. Paradoxically, now I don't go around sleeping with every girl I can... because I have realized s-e-xuality is sacred.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:56 pm |
  13. M&M

    God created sex so why wouldn't sex and marriage go together? This is just another one of those things that God created and man hijacked it and turned it into something that it was never intended to be. If God didn't want men and women to enjoy sex, all those sexual feelings would not come into play before, during and after intercourse. SEX is the icing on the cake of any relationship.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm |
  14. Thorrsman

    Oh. That explains why, after thirty years, it is still pretty hot and heavy every time. We're NOT Christians. I always said that Pagans partied better.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm |
    • Jeff

      If you think Pagans party better?

      Lutherans party the BEST!!!!


      September 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm |
    • Thorrsman

      Jeff, my folks tried to raise me Lutheran–it didn't take–so I know better. And my wife, the recovered Catholic, agrees.

      September 4, 2010 at 12:45 am |
  15. Jason Jackson

    I find it ironic that a Christian-bashing article goes on a belief blog. You can have positivity, or, even different sides of on issue on a blog, but no link to a debate is on either the main side or the blog.

    Those of faith know that love is the most important thing in the world.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm |
    • Lucifer

      Jason... I love U....wanna have S E X

      September 3, 2010 at 6:34 pm |
  16. MiamiDude

    Im christian, 26 yrs old and my wife and i enjoy hot crazy good sex.. thank you for you time! 😛

    September 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm |
  17. Dirty Joe

    If you don't like Christian sex, don't marry a Christian.

    That's what Dirty Joe did.

    I haven't regretted one day of it!

    [please note that Dirty Joe has been with some pretty nasty "Christians" in his day as well]

    September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
  18. NoGods.

    This article should be renamed 'How Christians spoil everything they come in contact with for the rest of the world' because that is all I feel you religious types do. One thing at a time though I guess.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
    • Lauren

      And a quick question for you. I'm reading the responses here, and there are a number of comments badmouthing Christians and Christianity. Why is it that it's politically incorrect to speak badly of atheists or Muslims, but it's politically acceptable to speak badly of Christians? It must be the ivory tower, limousine liberal, holier than thou BS culture that's taken over our country during the past decade or two.

      September 4, 2010 at 8:00 am |
  19. Hugh

    Guilt is a wonderful social control, but it needs to be drilled into the heads of children before they are old enough to reason. Unfortunately, parents do not put enough fear into their children at an early age to make the sex guilt really stick. Society will not even let them beat it into them anymore. Now, the church must rely on adolescent insecurity to do deed, and it just does not work as well. Thank goodness that other countries like North Korea are not so permissive.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
  20. UberSquisher

    Of course! They just can't do it standing up; it might lead to dancing.

    September 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.