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September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET
How Christians spoil sexChristian marriage. Hot sex. Let’s try that again: Christian marriage; hot sex. It doesn’t quite go together does it? Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general. At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.
Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.” He says Christians damage sex in four ways: They teach guilt, not abstinence. They have very few ways to discuss it. They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex. They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex). Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team. |
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I wonder how many Christian homes he peeped thorugh the windows of to get his data??
How could he possibly know what kind of sex life every Christian has?
Total waste of internet real estate.
I think it is better to have sexual experience before marriage to make sure you are compatible. I don't agree with abstinence but in the era of stds being promiscuous is not good either. Everything in balance.
If God is Love [God = Love, Love = God, in algebraic terms], isn't the big idea surrounding all of this is that you're supposed to wait until you actually love someone? Or when you realize you want to love someone, stop after you decide to change and then wait until you actually love someone? I really don't understand why this is such a hard concept. If people don't want to love, then why are they concerned with God? If people want an active casual sex life, then they must not be that concerned with love. I see it as an either or. What are they teaching in churches? Does anyone make any sort of sense out of this whatsoever?
Oh, I don't know...I fondly recall John Waters once saying "I thank God every day that I was raised Catholic because sex is REALLY dirty."
I understand where topics like this arise – I myself was once atheist/agnostic. But for just a moment, take a step outside of fading desires for worldly pleasures and open your heart to the things that bring you lasting happiness. True Christians teach that love and fulfillment come from self sacrifice and service towards others. A true Christian believes this. Now I'm certain you could quote thousands of examples as to how Christians are hypocrites – I could also; this isn't important. A person isn't a Christian because they say they are a Christian – Christ himself corrects this level of thinking:
John 13:34-35 - "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Christ died without an ounce of hate for those who killed him. He prayed for them as he suffered – this is the love men and women of all faiths are called to.
Self sacrifice, service towards others, compassion and understanding - these are the living definition of love! Sex is a beautiful part of your relationship with your spouse, but love goes beyond this to our children, friends, and we're even called to love our enemies.
Religion, in all it;s form is bad for you PERIOD. if your such a idiot as to fellow the teaching of a fictional character, then you don't deserve good sex PERIOD.
it is time for humanity to grow up and BAN RELIGION and have the most extrem punishment (read painfull) for any one who dare speak of, pratice or encourage religion in any way outside your own home. (churches are monument to mankind more enduring lie and must DESTROYED).
Explain why married Irish Catholics would have about 10 kids, seems like the sex is ago. Seculars need more of a life, John Blake you could have used this time to sword fight more with your boyfriend, but I guess the passion there is gone. lol
i guess the moderator(s) don't like my questions. nothing keeps a closed mind closed like censorship.
this thing has really gotten off topic. and how did hitler get involved. apparently morality didn't ruin s*x for him, records show that he had syphilis, a disease thought by some to be the revenge of God for fornication and lust. some christian he turned out to be.
@perplexed
Godwin's Law
Just sayin'
What hogwash! 65+ in a 46 year Christian marriage and it's still getting better every time. Believe and receive the blessing!
oh, Dave,
We didn't know you were 65+ years of age....I guess it doesn't hold true for you,....sorry about that.....
Have you read the book of The Bible called "Song of Songs"? the entire book is about hot sex. You should've read it before posting such an ignorant article.
Like DUH, Who Created Sex in the first place.. fill the earth had to be accomplished somehow.. And God did make it toe curling that's why it feels good, he made it that way. And even if you aren't procreating he made it a wonderful way to show love to your husband/wife. Nothing wrong with that.. People will say the stupidest things to make Christians boring or stupid.
This is a very poorly written article. Anyone heard of a straw man? The Scriptures have plenty of good to say about the married sex life, just read the Song of Solomon. Btw, my wife and I have nine kids with our tenth on the way, and have had great sex since our first day of marriage. I have no idea what this loon is talking about.
There is no such thing a hot, toe-curling sex.
This is one of those situations where the author writes something provocative to provoke a response, higher readership etc. How "insert religious or racial group here" spoil sex.
Good Lord folks, I have been a Christian for the last 30 years and married fro nearly 23 of them. The sex is still over the top. Granted, there is a LOT of really bad behavior out there from "Christians" concerning sex. It was God who invented sex, When God wanted to separate his chosen people from the rest of the population he went right straight for the wiener. I can't imagine how Abraham sold that one to the men folk of his day. You want hot racy sex, read the Song Of Solomon sometime, and take time to actually think about the words you are reading.
Good marriages are seldom glued, stapled, or welded together. The best one are stitched carefully, deliberately, one stitch at a time. Once marriages have had enough skillful stitches, they are not likely to unravel.
Despite all of its bad publicity, marriage is a still an unbeatable combination. Though living together without a commitment is prevalent today, couples keep going back to marriage because they know it is one of earth's greatest pleasures and one of God's best gifts-emotional, mental, spiritual as welll as physical.
When God created sex,
He came up with
A great idea!
God doesn't get
Nearly enough credit
For this terrific
Program.
Some have mishandled
God's idea.
Others have abused it.
Too many have become
Disillusioned about sex.
And have given it up.
Far too many are simply
Misinformed,
Unable to let go and
Learn,
They believe it to be
Evil, weak, silly,
Debasing or empty.
God knew better.
He made sex meaningful,
Rewarding, enjoyable
And fundamentally fun!!!!!!!
The author brings up an excellent point that relates to the challenge today for Christians (or anyone with a decent sense of morality) to protect the sanctity of the s–ual relationship as something more than just another form of entertainment. Perhaps it was just easier to not talk about it or treat it as something taboo. That has been the general approach to s– even though many folks on these posts seem to have found better ways to discuss it openly in the right context. The sad thing is that we have built a culture based on entertainment that portrays s– as entertainment, and that if it doesn't conform to the way it is portrayed in movies, that you cannot have a fulfilling relationship with someone else. In my opinion, s– is an important part of the marriage relationship, but not the focal point. It helps to strenthen the committment in marriage, but the committment should not be based on it. And if you're not willing to make the committment of marriage, you shouldn't be trifling with such an important and powerful gift whose purpose is to create life and nurture the relationships that make life worth living.
2000 years of inquisitions for having sexual thoughts, witch-hunts for normal sexuality, puritans, catholic restrictions, celibate yet inappropriate priests...and 1 casual cnn article suggesting that christianity and sexuality are related. Sigh. Normal people have normal sexuality. It so happens some of these people are Christians.
Just remembered Why I don't comment on boards....Cause I have a life....Peace
Apparently not, since you left a comment...
@Mike
You had to go ruin the mood by introducing logic, didn't you ...
Just grinnin'