September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. HAL

    What Bull. Anyone here ever read the Song of Solomon? Of course the Catholic church calls it the relationship between Christ and his church but that's because the Catholic church is full of dirty little pedophiles.

    But as for REAL Christianity, sex is a gift from God.

    Provers 5:18-19
    May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
    A loving doe, a graceful deer–may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm |
  2. meh

    cnn is awful most of the writers write like they just graduated from 3rd grade and then they troll people with stupid articles like this

    September 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm |
  3. lucerot

    I'm christian and my $ex-life in wonderful. I'm pretty sure I had an orgasm once with my husband.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm |
  4. Pratt

    Why CNN allows for such a bigoted and nasty articles to be part of their website is astounding. How about we ask the question "How JEWS ruin banking, the stock market and Middle East". A much more important issue. Or why do GAYS have to ruin the sanctity of marriage not to mention the priesthood and Boy Scouts. Let's put everyone's particular issues on the table not just Christians. GFY CNN.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:32 pm |
  5. Mark McKee

    The person who wrote this article is obviously a "secular humanist" sent by Satan to somehow confuse American Christians into thinking it's okay to enjoy sex, or anything else for that matter. You know, the irony is that this kind of secular humanist attitude is exactly what got Jesus nailed to the Cross. To me, Christians, and all humans, not only prove the existence of God, but they prove that God's twisted sense of humor is truly infinite.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:31 pm |
  6. me, Philadelphia, PA

    I didn't bother reading past "sex before marriage is bad". As if you're supposed to wait till marriage to have sex only to find out you're not compatible with your spouse in bed so now you have to FORCE yourself to feel passionate toward someone who doesn't turn you on and therefore that equals "hot sex". Please. People, bone before you walk down the aisle, but make sure you're in love first. THAT would be a much more balanced and sensible message.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm |
  7. Lee Oates

    About time someone mentioned that.....

    September 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm |
  8. royl dakota


    September 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm |
  9. ZarGoth

    This religion, like most, throws filth upon the presupposition of our origins. This is some kind of sick joke....

    September 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm |
  10. James Lee

    I celebrate the Christian obsession with sex and all the rules around it


    It makes it much more exciting to break the rules and do the things that they frown upon. Can you imagine how boring sex would be without people telling you how wrong it is to look at this, or not to do that. I am grateful that people who put up barriers to full sexual expression – make it more fun to engage in those very acts.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:29 pm |
  11. perplexed

    how far off topic does this have to get before it's no longer a credible discussion. hitler? germs? i guess nothing stirs the pot of controversy like religion. oh wait there's always politics AND religion .

    September 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm |
  12. Ella

    I had to read this twice to make sure it wasn't a joke. Apparently, the author hasn't really surveyed any Christian couples. God's command is that the wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's body belongs to the wife and nothing defiles the marriage bed (I believe in Corinthians? I'll have to look that up). Either way, it means that s exually, you can do whatever you want with it!! Can't say Christians aren't creative... 🙂

    September 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm |
  13. doc77

    Adam and Eve ran around naked all the time. That should tell us something.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:24 pm |
  14. SaraSmile

    My husband and I enjoy it petty much (married over 20 yrs. but it's not something you do everyday just because it's fun. Moderation dear children,moderation! BTW, if sex is performed out of man-woman wedlock, then of course it's going to be dirty and bad because God puts parameters in everything for a good reason. Marriage is the "terms and conditions" of better sex and a clean conscience. I've been doing it for over 20 yrs!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 8:23 pm |
  15. Jen

    This is the most ignorant article I have ever read and am absolutely appalled that CNN would allow this on their site. This is bigoted and idiotic. Unless this writer is in bed with ALL of the Christians in this world then how on Earth would he know how hot it is in their bed? He wouldn't because he's a fool.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:23 pm |
  16. doc77

    Adam and Eve ran around naked alll the time. That should tell us something.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:23 pm |
  17. ab

    the most exotic sex is practiced by Hindus........."It" is located there.

    September 3, 2010 at 8:23 pm |
  18. christian_nympho

    Oooohhh. TOTALLY controversial stuff... lol

    Sure, the "old regime" of Christianity, and the more traditional sects, are certainly a bit uptight about sex. But our pastors have stated quite openly more than 10 times in sermons how sex is a wonderful gift from God. The more contemporary Christian (non-denominational) churches are much more modern, fun, and realistic than Christian-Haters would think.

    Here's the thing about "Christians"... You don't get to decide who we are, who we should be, or whether or not we are good, sexual, fun, crazy, weird, artistic, tattooed, pierced, sexy, or what. We can be as diverse and wild, tame and conservative as we want to be. Yay for us!

    September 3, 2010 at 8:19 pm |
  19. Eric

    Hey peace2all

    If your really brave try picking on some Muslims. Until then your rhetoric looks some one who is just a bully !!!

    September 3, 2010 at 8:17 pm |
    • Kate


      Why should he, when you're much worse and more worth the effort?

      Just sayin'

      September 3, 2010 at 8:31 pm |
  20. Eric

    This is just another post to bash Christians.

    It is very popular these days.

    Wait until Easter comes again next year. It gets better!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 8:13 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.