September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. Robert Austin

    The worst sex I ever had was wonderful, the best was indeed a religious experience.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:44 pm |
  2. Linda

    I have to admit. My mom was pretty good at this. I'm not sure of the name of the book she had found, but it was for little children and it described the sex life of animals educationally. It had cartoonish pics and started with chickens and chicken eggs and ended with humans and a pencil pointing to the size of the human egg. The mom and dad where shown in bed with covers up to their necks so it was age appropriate. It basically taught a child where babies come from and that sex it natural.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:41 pm |
  3. Richard

    It seems like the CNN folks are sitting around trying to think of provocative "Christian" oriented topics so they can get as many hits as possible from the "religious" target market (along with anti-Christians who are attracted to these kinds of article titles). This article seems completely disconnected from reality to me because we openly teach how fantastic sex is in marriage to our teen youth group and my brothers in Christ and I openly acknowledge love making to our wives as God's second greatest gift after salvation. I don't know about the writer John Blake's beliefs, but I'd love to simply read an article by someone who acknowledges their Christian faith and writes from that perspective openly.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm |
  4. orangeboy

    What a stupid article. Of course Christianity is anti-sex. Just read the Bible. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah is all about a town that is destroyed because they enjoyed sex too much in the "wrong" way. The story of Onan teaches that masturbation and sex without intent to procreate are evil. Leviticus has a long list of the ways in which a man who ejaculated can make things "unclean" (not physically unclean, just spirtually unclean). Menstruating women are not allowed to approach the altar. Paul is very clear in his hatred of women, even saying that a man who defiles himself with a woman won't get into heaven. This is clearly not a sex-friendly book. Explains why fundamentalists have higher divorce rates than other groups.

    The author of this article seems to define Christianity according to what he would like, rather than what the Bible says. Why not just honestly repudiate the stupid book?

    September 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm |
  5. Ben

    @cadrolls1 I really disagree with you in regards to the "Italy simply would not have allied itself with Nazi Germany if they thought that the Pope wasn't in agreement." Italy joined up with Hitler's Nazi Germany because they were both Fascist countries with similar views, I really doubt the Vatican had that much to do with it.

    While I guess it's good that these people are encouraging sex for married people, I feel like this could lead to a lot of young marriages between Christians that just want to get to the good stuff without angering God.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm |
  6. paul

    Clearly Time Warner's agenda is to discredit Christians and their faith. Such garbage and excrement is not unusual for CNN.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:31 pm |
    • Paul

      Good point. The world is trying to bring down Christians so that they may continue in their ungodly deeds. Turn to Jesus and believe the true gospel, that he died on the cross shedding his blood for your sins and rose again 3 days later.

      September 3, 2010 at 10:52 pm |
  7. rich

    Church going pretty girls are some of the best tang around. This article fails.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:29 pm |
  8. PhillyChristian

    What church do you belong to? Mine is deeply spiritual and we teach that the marriage bed SHOULD be HOT! In fact, we just finished a summer series on intimacy and we've had classes for married people on how to spice things up. This is in addition to usual bible study of course. God created sex to be enjoyed and utilized between married couples. Anything taught to the contrary is not biblical. Run to a bible teaching church....quickly!

    September 3, 2010 at 10:28 pm |
  9. Cleaner

    Since the Beginning the Lord God has Created Human of two Genders, Male and Female and he Blessed them , and that Does not scale them as like be Dogs and Cats !
    the awareness of the perfect match and their decision to obliged to each other as the Only life partner ,sharing the common good ,each partner is not to be limited to physical needs only but it crossover to more match of all life times , support of love ,giving , and chemistry in all trucks of life who the married couple suppose to share. that is perfectly completed with every new day a new fresh Blessing from God who have joined them.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:26 pm |
  10. Mario

    Christians have such an unhealthy attitude towards sex, but that doesn't mean that people who lack healthy personal boundaries are any better. It's also sad that so many people who chose to become priests and active members of the church keep getting caught abusing children, that's just sick.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:25 pm |
  11. michael

    sex is an inbedded animal Instinct, driven by the lower most brainstm. Sex is all good -and you are design to insure that you populate the planet, saying this you must know that it is to ensure you populate the planet useing sex to stimulate and produce drugs in you brain leads to you becoming perverted and so on .... al things at an appropriate dose! dont be a perv!

    September 3, 2010 at 10:25 pm |
  12. orangeboy

    What a stupid story. Christianity has been teaching that sex is dirty for 2000 years. It's at the heart of the Sodom and Gomorrah story. The story of Onan teaches that masturbation and sex without the intent to procreate are evil. Leviticus has a long series of idiotic statements about the uncleanliness of things sat on by someone who ejaculated on the same day. Having sex with anyone but your wives is subject to the death penalty. Women who are not virgins on their wedding day can be stoned to death. You get the idea. The Bible is not a sex-friendly book. It encourages repression and thus leads to sexual disfunction. That's why the divorce rates are higher among fundamentalists.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:24 pm |
  13. JEM

    Christians are seen by outsiders as a cult of prudes because every law restricting se-x originates from Christian movements. The "Comstock Laws" are a prime example.
    If Christians do not want to be persecuted, they should stop hurting people

    September 3, 2010 at 10:24 pm |
  14. Athena

    Weak. Pathetic article. Just like christians.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:23 pm |
  15. bachdog

    This isn't persecution, it's just plain. Sexually repressed people, usually very devout often try to push their brand of sex education into public policy. So people pick up information about sex from the places usually available, TV and movies, talking with friends not experts, and porn. And how are things working out, good or not?

    September 3, 2010 at 10:21 pm |
  16. Sidi

    They should learn from Muslims. We have books upon books teaching the faithful how to have hot and respectful sex. Prophet Mohamed may the blessings of Allah be upon him and peace, is a true leader.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm |
  17. james

    Todd. You sound like a "Hitler" yourself. You condemn a group and demonize them You claim a false claim. Hitler was Catholic. Hitler did not beiieve in God. He used God. He said that one day the Christian brain will rot. nParaphasing. He murdered...Where does Jesus tell believes to o such a thing? He must of had another god. Stail,Hitler and the rest of the evil doers had one common factor...Evolution......Once they were freed from sin thaey exacred it on others without fear of consequences. Look at history...people refer to the crusades.BUT read why Christians fought...Islam..........look at the time and birth of Islamic leader.General Mohammad.......I am NOt a Catholic.I am a protestant Chrsitian.But to blame Catholics is absurd. We are individually responsible for our sins. Example...Your sheep are humble and sweet yet the shepard can be ruthless.......Hitler took sheep and found goats among them and turn them into his workers of evil. The sheep he found were NOT Chrsitians but stayed amongst the sheep for reward. He seeked them out and the rest is a horrible history of deceit and evil. Don't demonize the sheep...

    September 3, 2010 at 10:18 pm |
  18. born baptist

    I started at the top of this blog, curious about the notion that christian beliefs might hinder ones sex life. 600+ blogs later the discussion is about Hitler or something. Back to the topic, I grew up a regular, middle-of-the-country Baptist kid in a small town. One things for sure, after marriage, anything goes unless I missed a Sunday school class on does and dont's of married people. The main thing I remember was to keep the wick dry till ypour married. No doubt there is significant scientific proof that sex is very bonding and should not be taken lightly, that is if you have any soul left.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm |
  19. Stephen

    Christianity with health hetero-sexuality is really an oxymoron. Look at all the ideal types in Christianity: virgin, monk, nun, celibates. hermits, castrati, etc. Christianity is a CULT much like other cults...Drink the Kool-Aid and do it with a "pure" mind !

    September 3, 2010 at 10:14 pm |
  20. What The ...

    Wow, John how sad. Get a clue.

    September 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.