September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. tj

    wow i hope this isn't what my taxes go to write here this is the dumbest article in the world why would you even bother to publish this cnn its plain and simple people God created sex a beautiful and amazing thing that a husband a wife could come together as one ann have covenant together and if you look in the old testament and study out the blood covenant you will see that one of the steps of the blood covenant is sharing blood and if the girl is a virgin that you marry trust me she will have no problem sharing her blood with you. also Jesus says in EPH 5:25 husbands love your wife as Christ has love the church and i know Jesus def. loved the church to an extreme so if Christ wants us to our wife that much you better believe im going to be having me some good s ex.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:42 pm |
  2. Rich

    It trips me out how people are saying CNN bashes Christianity, yet this article was right next to another one about a Christian effort to stop the sex slave trade. Yeah, CNN hates you Christian types.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:41 pm |
  3. cristiina

    I'm a christian who has been married 32 years to a pastor and we still have passionate, toe curling sex more days than not most weeks!

    September 3, 2010 at 11:40 pm |
  4. Help

    Hey guys, will you visit SaveStan.ORG a friend of mine with 4 young children is fighting for his life.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:40 pm |
  5. Byron

    RECKONER: If sex = Marriage, how many husbands and wives do YOU have?? Get real... Just another excuse to throw Marriage around as if it was nothing. NEXT!

    September 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm |
  6. Jim

    I see that the author is trying to make a point, but he missed the point.
    One, there are dozens of Christian-oriented books on sexual intimacy published every year and every Christian relationship book I've seen discusses the importance of sex.
    Two, many studies have shown that married people are considerably more likely to have a fulfilling sex life than single people, especially in a long-term marriage.

    That being said, all parents (especially Christians) probably do need to do better at telling their girls, "Nice girls don't - UNTIL they're married and then they should."

    September 3, 2010 at 11:38 pm |
  7. sue264

    Pedophiles, rapists, sex predators, porn addicts, etc spoil sex.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:37 pm |
  8. Justina

    Christians spoil not a thing. Those beautiful-hearted people keep the wonder of true romantic love by not-talking about sex. Obsession with sex makes one miss out so much in life and in this planet.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:36 pm |
  9. me

    GET A LIFE!!!

    September 3, 2010 at 11:31 pm |
  10. Ruthie Rader

    Where is the love?
    That is what I am wondering.
    A couple in love doesn't need help.
    Keep the padre out of the boudoir.
    Keep love in.
    And then share, share, share!

    September 3, 2010 at 11:30 pm |
  11. Marc

    Deminizing is a standard method in the construction of an epistomology. Out with the old and in with the new .... Pan becomes literally the image of Satan and so on and so forth. It is such a human tragedy we have persecuted ourselves since the beginning through want of richousness.

    There is nothng wrong with breathing when you need a breath of O2, drinking to satisfy thurst, eating to satisfy hunger, and so forth .... it is all natural and right.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:29 pm |
  12. Lorena

    all of you...GET A LIFE!

    September 3, 2010 at 11:28 pm |
  13. BIGLARRY1234


    or How Jews and Muslims spoil sex......come on...this is what you call journalism?....

    September 3, 2010 at 11:26 pm |
  14. JM

    Time will tell...

    September 3, 2010 at 11:25 pm |
  15. Superman

    I can gladly say that I am a christian and that does not stop me from having passionate sex with my wife.These people that write these articles just want to find something to wine about because they hate Christians.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:24 pm |
  16. Perspective

    Acuff says that passionate s** is God's idea. Actually, God's idea is that men and women have meaninful, committed relationships through marriage and families. S** is just one part of that–an essential part for sure–but not the be all and end all of it. However, the focus on it, as highlighted here, is that s** in our society has unfortunately been reduced to just another form of entertainment, when its true purpose is to create life and nurture the committed relationships that make life worth living.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:20 pm |
  17. PrettyRedApple

    Bottom line is that this is an assault on a religion. Just like ranting that someone is bigot because they don't comply with a liberal mantra. So now we have a liberal assault on an ideology that sees beyond the lust and shallow moral superiority of a self proclaimed elite. This is another article to play on the children of families that value respect and strong moral character. This article is not an article about sexuality it is guile to appeal to the hormonal instincts of youth. We have heard the claim that modesty is oppressive, but those that have put it aside have lost respect for themselves and others. Then find that they are left with nothing when their youth gives way to a used body with the onset of age.
    If no one else sees through this article then they or their children will be in the grasp of the natural consequences of such inconsiderate use of others and others use of them.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:18 pm |
  18. That Guy 371

    Christians, especially southern baptists, are so hypocritical it's ridiculous. They NEED to have REAL sex in the worst way.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm |
  19. mike

    What do you mean sex isn't associated with spirituality in general? Does the word TANTRA ring a bell? Where do you think the Kama Sutra comes from?

    September 3, 2010 at 11:16 pm |
  20. rh

    I don't believe that any religion destroys sex within marriage, rather the stupid family members who push women and men to marry whether or not they are in love, then push them to procreate before they have a chance to know each other, are to blame.

    Marriage should not be a government institution.

    September 3, 2010 at 11:15 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.