September 3rd, 2010
02:18 PM ET

How Christians spoil sex

Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?

- CNN Writer

Filed under: Christianity • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (2,079 Responses)
  1. Hope Bauman

    While everyone is entitled to their own opinion I for one am going to voice mine. I not only grew up in a Christian home, but saved myself for marriage. The Bible does not say anywhere that 'hot sex' is forbidden. God simply asks us to save sex for marriage. And believe me when sex has been saved for a man and wife...it's hot! No where does he specify how to go about having sex. As something God created for us to be pleasurable and enjoy, sex is one of the most amazing gifts he gives us. As far as the birth control thing, I really don't think anyone should base their opinions of 'Christians' on a few certain denominations. I use birth control, and I am fully dedicated to serving my God. Simple as that. Anyway, just wanted to voice that hot sex and Christian marriage goes better together than most think. I know that not only is sex with my husband hot...it's getting hotter and hotter!

    September 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm |
  2. Donald

    Search "Isaac newton 12.25 2060" and you will find the prophecy for our time. The bible says to this Laodicean Church age that if we come to him lukewarm he will spew us out of his mouth. Christians are suppose to stay holy and unpolluted from the world. God wants us either hot or cold!

    September 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm |
  3. Viperspider

    God and sex go together dispite what is said inthe article. Sex is referred to many times in the old testament and the "Song of Solomon" is a book about two lovers. God gives us the ability to have awesome sex. God just wants us to have that awesome sex within marriage.

    September 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm |
  4. Gary

    SEX, LUST, and all the words that describe one of the most strongest human drives. You are all very prudish; you cant even write the SEX word without trying to desguise it some how. Your minds are not your own; your minds have been engrained with what your clergy interprets to be what christianity is as taught by the bible (whatever bible that may be). Read the silly comments that have been written (in review). Can you see the trend? Silly people!

    September 4, 2010 at 2:14 pm |
  5. Aly

    I am a Christian and I see no problem with any form of birth control. I am having my first child soon and it will also be my last, I am getting a tubal after the first. I think its also Christian to take care of our natural resources and the earth, part of stewardship. I think "be fruitful and multiply" is often taken out of context and oversimplified. The Bible does not directly address birth control. And sex can be very enjoyable if you are a Christian and married as long as you don't buy into stupid rules. For the record, Christians can also be Democrats 🙂

    September 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm |
  6. Marabel Morgan fan

    Marabel Morgan was a Christian woman who write several books, The Total Woman, Total Joy, etc, in the mid-1970s through mid-1980s. The premise of her books was that Christian women should work to make their marriages and their marital sex lives hot and stimulating to counter non-Christian worldly influences that husbands were exposed to on a daily basis. She was not above meeting her own husband at the door in only plastic wrap. Christian women can add fruity non-alcoholic drinks to the Saran wrap experience. She also argued that Christian women should make a point to be sex bombshells when the spouse is in the house.

    September 4, 2010 at 2:10 pm |
  7. Black'nProud2

    Wow. This is a new low in reporting. I have to say I was very offended when I saw this. Would it have been ok to have an article written about any other group of people...How Muslims spoils sex, How Jews spoil sex, how blacks spoil sex. Let the belief persecution begin. Very sad what the media has fallen to.

    September 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm |
  8. Raevyn

    Is any of this really a surprise? After all, christians spoil everything else....why not sex?

    September 4, 2010 at 2:07 pm |
  9. Paul in GA

    What??? This person's premise of "boring Christian sex" is just as obsolete as are the teachings he presumes are taught throughout Christiandom. How ridiculous! I am a married Christian and my wife and I enjoy a very vibrant sex life. Even moreso, I have yet to hear a message from the podium that condemns sexual activity, with the exception of sex outside of marriage.

    People, be careful that you do not read this author's material and presume it to be true across the board. I highly doubt that his generalizations would hold water if you talk to many Christians (leadership AND non-leadership).

    September 4, 2010 at 2:05 pm |
  10. priorities

    Maybe you all should spend less time picking apart every aspect of articles such as this one, and more time having better sex...

    September 4, 2010 at 2:04 pm |
  11. simmon

    CNN don't you have any other news ? there are lot of news happening outside US. focus on that . do not interfere with Christians

    September 4, 2010 at 1:59 pm |
  12. anne

    Love it! There is so much to say on this topic. It is so important for people to know how much they are missing when it comes to intimacy and sex when acting outside of the boundaries God has established. I know it never crossed my mind growing up that God created and intended sex to be so much more than what I had known, desired or had experienced. Abstinance until marriage and commitment to a single partner plays so much into the enjoyment and pleasure, intimacy of sex.

    September 4, 2010 at 1:56 pm |
  13. Steve

    I am and have been a christian all my life. My sex life couldn't be better! Do not believe the hype that christians have boring sex lives. Having God in my life enriches and enhances my relation with my wife. Christianity makes a sex life more complete. Amen

    September 4, 2010 at 1:55 pm |
  14. Joel

    I disagree with this article I am a christian, while sex feels good yes its overemphasized in todays culture theres nothing wrong with waiting until marriage. theres nothing guilt like about sex in marriage.

    September 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm |
  15. Charlotte

    As a christian wife this article makes me laugh at how generic and made up it is. Just went to our Christian Fellowship and our pastor was emphasizing the importance of a lot of sex after marriage. Most important, my husband has needs that I don't have. So when the kids are a mess and I don't feel like it, I do it like crazy. That's what us "Christians" are taught. We have plenty of hot sex and we also love the Lord. So don't label us because you couldn't be farther from the truth.

    September 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm |
  16. rh

    Obviously this author doesnt know what they are talking about.... reserarch has shown time and time again that Christians have a better sex life than non Christians... look it up, in fact I think I read an article showing that just lat year on CNN website... their writers need to communicate and not contradict

    September 4, 2010 at 1:43 pm |
  17. RingoStarryNight

    What utter utter nonsense. Why is this on a "news" site? The author has the tenacity to be critical of so-called Christian sex and how Christians are not "doing it"right – based on what research? This is some sort of humour – right? Am I just not getting it? The joke – not the sex part!! LOL

    September 4, 2010 at 1:41 pm |
  18. royk

    This article is only focusing on certain christian groups, such as the more conservative ones. Not all christians separate sex and God. A lot of Christians do focus on the beauty of sex within marriage and how your body is no longer your own. I know plenty of married Christian couples, myself included, who have great sex, everyday. So please don't generalize this article to all Christians.

    September 4, 2010 at 1:33 pm |
  19. Sharideth Smith

    my favorite part of all of these comments is those who are accusing acuff of generalizing all christians by generalizing his statements. irony is a hoot.

    September 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm |
  20. Joe Crenshaw

    Awesome article by John Acuff. I am glad someone is not ashamed to tell the truth about sex and Christians

    September 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.