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'God' speaks on upcoming memoir
December 20th, 2010
10:46 AM ET

'God' speaks on upcoming memoir

Editor's Note: This report comes to us from CNN's Marquee Blog about all things entertainment.

According to Entertainment Weekly, the reason God inked a recent book deal with Simon & Schuster is because he’s “tired of being misinterpreted.”

The higher power recently spoke with EW about his upcoming memoir – as told to former "Daily Show" exec David Javerbaum – his Twitter account and (but of course!) Justin Bieber.

(It turns out that Javerbaum and God are represented by the same literary agency, according to a release from Simon & Schuster. He's also co-authored "America: The Book" and "Earth: The Book," as well as "What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters.")

Read the full story about the new book by "God."

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Belief • Books • Culture & Science • United States

soundoff (18 Responses)
  1. Muneef

    GSA.
    You talk wise..

    December 21, 2010 at 9:11 pm |
    • Reality

      Saving Muslims is quite easy!!!

      The Five Steps To Deprogram 1400 Years of Islamic Myths:

      ( –The Steps take less than two minutes to finish- simply amazing, two minutes to bring peace and rationality to over one billion lost souls- Priceless!!!)

      Muneef are you ready?

      Using "The 77 Branches of Islamic "faith" a collection compiled by Imam Bayhaqi as a starting point. In it, he explains the essential virtues that reflect true "faith" (iman) through related Qur’anic verses and Prophetic sayings." i.e. a nice summary of the Koran and Islamic beliefs.

      "1. Belief in Allah"

      aka as God, Yahweh, Zeus, Jehovah, Mother Nature, etc. should be added to your cleansing neurons.

      "2. To believe that everything other than Allah was non-existent. Thereafter, Allah Most High created these things and subsequently they came into existence."

      Evolution and the Big Bang or the "Gi-b G-nab" (when the universe starts to recycle) are more plausible and the "akas" for Allah should be included if you continue to be a "crea-tionist".

      "3. To believe in the existence of angels."

      A major item for neuron cleansing. Angels/de-vils are the mythical creations of ancient civilizations, e.g. Hitt-ites, to explain/define natural events, contacts with their gods, big birds, sudden winds, protectors during the dark nights, etc. No "pretty/ug-ly wingy thingies" ever visited or talked to Mohammed, Jesus, Mary or Joseph or Joe Smith. Today we would classify angels as f–airies and "tin–ker be-lls". Modern de-vils are classified as the de-mons of the de-mented.

      "4. To believe that all the heavenly books that were sent to the different prophets are true. However, apart from the Quran, all other books are not valid anymore."

      Another major item to delete. There are no books written in the spirit state of Heaven (if there is one) just as there are no angels to write/publish/distribute them. The Koran, OT, NT etc. are simply books written by humans for humans.

      Prophets were invented by ancient scribes typically to keep the un-educated masses in line. Today we call them for-tune tellers.

      Prophecies are also invali-dated by the natural/God/Allah gifts of Free Will and Future.

      "5. To believe that all the prophets are true. However, we are commanded to follow the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) alone."

      Mohammed spent thirty days "fasting" (the Ramadan legend) in a hot cave before his first contact with Allah aka God etc. via a "pretty wingy thingy". Common sense demands a neuron deletion of #5. #5 is also the major source of Islamic vi-olence i.e. turning Mohammed's "fast, hunger-driven" hallu-cinations into horrible reality for unbelievers.

      Walk these Five Steps and we guarantee a complete recovery from your Islamic ways!!!!

      December 21, 2010 at 11:48 pm |
    • Muneef

      Reality.
      So sweet you are and your words are like pearls to me.

      December 22, 2010 at 5:55 am |
    • Muneef

      Al-Fatiha
      In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful (1) 
      Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds (2) Most Gracious, Most Merciful (3) Master of the, Day of Judgment. (4) Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek. (5) Show us the straight way. (6) The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, Those whose (portion) is not wrath and who go not astray. (7).
      Al-Ikhlas
      In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
      Say: He is Allah the One and Only; (1) Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; (2) He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; (3) And there is none like unto Him. (4)..

      December 22, 2010 at 9:19 pm |
  2. JohnQuest

    Sounds like a pretty good (read funny, satirical) book (pun intended). For all that will undoubtedly be offend by it, screwyou if you can't take a joke. I think if there was a God, he/she/it would be able to take a joke, just look at the world he/she/it created.

    December 21, 2010 at 10:48 am |
  3. GSA

    @JPopNC – actually the Koran does not promise that at all but you read it on google so it must be true right? I don't learn about Christianity or any other religion from the news or radicals or anyone with an agenda. You should try the same when learning or speaking on Islam. Get ou and get educated otherwise sit back and join the majority of ignorant bigots in the world.
    Why would you eliminate ppl as Christians if they act out evil deeds and they say it is in the name of Christianity? Answer that question for yourself and take that same theory and apply it to Muslims, pretty easy.

    December 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm |
  4. Reality

    (Ex-Catholic, now atheist) Julia Sweeney's monologue "Letting Go Of God" is the better view and will be the final nail in the coffin of religious belief/faith and is and will continue to be more effective than any money-generating book or blog on religion.

    Buy the DVD or watch it on Showtime. Check your cable listings.

    from http://www.amazon.com

    "Letting Go of God ~ Julia Sweeney (DVD – 2008)

    Five Star Rating

    December 20, 2010 at 3:20 pm |
    • JPopNC

      "Ex-Catholic, now atheist"....that seems to be a pattern.

      December 20, 2010 at 4:05 pm |
  5. GSA

    Same goes for those who claim Islam and then blow someone up right.

    December 20, 2010 at 2:38 pm |
    • JPopNC

      Not really, because the Quran promises heaven/reward for those who do that, right?

      December 20, 2010 at 4:04 pm |
    • Muneef

      No not right Quran says fight but does not say go and blow up your selves with others..

      December 24, 2010 at 6:41 am |
  6. JPopNC

    well, you can eliminate those who "claim" to be Christians if they're going against the teachings of Christ. Those who falsely connect themselves to Christ (christian militia, KKK, etc) apparently miss the whole point of the Bible, so they would be more under the 'anti-Christ" category. You know....false prophets.

    Here's an easy measuring guide: if the person or group claims to be a Christian, but their goals or actions are clearly against the teachings of Christ....then they are definitely NOT Christians. Like these evangelicals on TV who merely are out there for monetary benefit....NOT CHRISTIAN!

    People who murder and claim it's from God....well, it's not from God.

    December 20, 2010 at 2:16 pm |
    • Nonimus

      "People who murder and claim it's from God....well, it's not from God."
      Except when it is apparently... just ask Abraham and all the others in the OT that God ordered to kill.
      Oh... wait... if God orders it, it's not murder, right.
      So, how do you tell if God ordered a killing or not?

      December 21, 2010 at 10:14 am |
  7. GSA

    @JPopNC – yeah, Muslims are never targeted for anything right? Both Christians and Muslims are the easiest targets and there are reasons for this. Christians have reciprocated (ie abortion clinic bombings, christian militia, KKK using christianity and that is only what is going on in the modern day) but the media will spend a lot more time focusing on the Muslims terrorists but you won't complain about that, only what hurts your beliefs.

    December 20, 2010 at 1:36 pm |
  8. JPopNC

    No, anybody can write things on God as long as they have a basis of fact. The "memoirs" above are a total misrepresentation and are totally blasphemous. But authors like this see the Christians as easy targets because we aren't prone to reciprocate in anyway, but don't see you even hinting at mocking the Muslims any. Why's that? Don't have the stones to step up to that plate do ya? Aren't you glad Christians don't follow that same path? If they did, you'd go hungry because you'd be too scared to write about anyone.

    December 20, 2010 at 1:11 pm |
    • civilioutside

      Given that their target audience is American, Muslims make up only about 1% of the American population, and the culture of Islam isn't so embedded in American society that nearly everyone in the country (Muslim or not) will understand the references, there are plenty of commercial reasons not to write the same sort of thing about Allah (though, technically, he's the same god anyway so mocking one is mocking the other).

      December 20, 2010 at 2:37 pm |
    • HotAirAce

      @JPopNC

      If you accept that god spoke to/thru men 2000+ years ago to create the bible, why can't you accept that he is speaking again to/thru other men? How did you determine that one or any "words-of-god" are authentic? What if this new word of god is the real thing and you don't listen to it? Wouldn't your behaviour, and possible future salvation, be the same as atheists who do not listen to the current word of god? What will it take for you to accept the new word of god?

      December 20, 2010 at 7:13 pm |
  9. Bob

    You can't write random things about God!

    The only people that can write random things about God are people thousands of years ago who were clearly more in touch with God then you!

    December 20, 2010 at 10:55 am |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.