February 7th, 2011
07:39 AM ET

Gay parenting takes off in the Bible Belt

By Rich Phillips, Senior Producer

Jacksonville, Florida (CNN) – Latisha Bines and Misty Gray cheered like any other parents at a recent middle school soccer game.

They're the two soccer moms in 13-year-old Darion Bines’ life. The women and all three of Latisha’s children operate as a family. And they've turned to their church for support, suggesting a changing face of the Bible Belt.

Data from the most recent U.S. Census shows that the South has the largest share of gay parents in the country.

“There are more of us coming out,” Bines said. “We’re feeling more comfortable about who we are. I guess it gives us more of a chance than back in the '80s, when you had to stay in the closet because you were ridiculed.”

Bines came out after having three children. She and Misty were joined as life partners in 2010 commitment ceremony. They live in part of the conservative Deep South, where many communities have not been receptive to so-called gay families.

“Gay and lesbian people tend to come out later in life, in those areas, which means they are more likely to have children from a previous relationship earlier in their lives,” said Gary Gates, a demographer with the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, School of Law.

Gates analyzed the data from the American Community Survey from 2005-09, which is administered by the Census Bureau. His analysis also showed that across the country, gay parents are more likely to be black or Hispanic than they are to be white.

According to the survey, San Antonio, Texas, leads the country in gay parenting, with 34% of same-sex couples raising children. That's followed by Jacksonville, Florida at 32%.

Read more about gay adoption in Florida.

Bines and Gray have lived in Jacksonville all their lives.

They say they’ve found that their sexual orientation and spirituality can come together and be welcomed in gay-friendly Jacksonville area churches that were once off limits.

“It was welcome. It was comfortable,” Bines said. “We’re lesbian, but our God still loves us, no matter what.”

Bines sings in the choir at the nondenominational St. Luke’s Community Church, which was firebombed three times in the 1980s, apparently because of its policy of welcoming lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender congregants.

The church's pastor, Valerie Williams, is a gay activist. She says church policy all about family acceptance, especially for children.

The goal is “acceptance of their parents and being able to be around other children who have the same makeup of families that they have,” she said. "God is love and that’s the God that we serve here.”

Some local congregations challenge Williams' approach. When word of Jacksonville’s gay parent ranking in the census began to spread, one pastor asked for everyone to pray.

Pastor Vaughn McLaughlin, of the Potter’s House Christian Fellowship, told CNN that the Bible does not teach or encourage gay relationships, which he says confuse children.

“A lifestyle of open, same-sex relationships, that can’t regenerate, that can’t produce, that can’t do anything,"  said McLaughlin, who leads a megachurch. "I find it to be over and against what I actually have found the truth of the Bible to be.”

“Marriage is between a man and a woman," he continued. "That’s the biblical premise for what we believe, for what we teach, and we’re gonna hold on to that.”

But at St. Luke’s, Williams defended the rights of gay people and their families to worship.

“The children are able to serve God , with their families, and not being judged by the person sitting in the pew in front of them… snickering, like, ‘Why do they have kids? Why are they here?’”

Williams has started a support group for the children of gay parents. There, kids can talk about problems they're dealing with, including discrimination, over a hot dog or spaghetti dinner and review their report cards with Williams, who is known by congregants as Pastor Val.

And for Bines and Gray, the church has been a welcome addition to their lives.

“It’s brought us together, structurally as a family,” Gray said. “And because of the recent death rates, the suicide rates for kids being bullied, it’s extremely strong for the church to be a factor in the kids lives.”

Gates, the demographer, and Williams said they believe a cultural or religious support system might allow people to be more honest about their sexual orientation on a government survey.

“People are more willing to indicate on these government surveys that they are part of a same-sex couple, even in the more conservative parts of the country,” said Gates. “It’s a sign of progress.”

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Christianity • Florida • Gay marriage • Homosexuality • Houses of worship • United States

soundoff (1,055 Responses)
  1. derp rage comics

    Someone necessarily lend a hand to make severely articles I'd state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now? I amazed with the analysis you made to create this actual put up amazing. Wonderful activity!

    July 8, 2012 at 7:11 am |
  2. Sara Volk

    “We’re lesbian, but our God still loves us, no matter what.”

    This is so wrong. It should read "We're lesbian, AND our God loves us no matter what." There are no "buts" about it.

    March 19, 2011 at 2:20 am |
  3. mens belts

    I live in Memphis and we see gay people attend church here regularly in midtown. Its about as progressive as you will find in Memphis, all other parts are much more traditionally southern.

    March 19, 2011 at 2:09 am |
  4. Yeaux

    Check out the movie: Anderson's Cross; it's a family, coming of age movie about a gay teen; seriously, it has a strong family message, though a few scenes are slightly risque, stuff you would see on cable. And actually, I think it's message of love and acceptance is truly Christian, so it may be the first family, gay Cristian movie too; andersonscross.com peace

    February 20, 2011 at 9:30 pm |
  5. Ituri

    Uh huh, not buying it. I'm from the Bible Belt, and I know towns where black people are still run out of town. Forbid your child end up being gay, because that child ceases to exist. Black marrying white? Fugidabudit.

    When I can go home and have an intelligent conversation, and bring up the general fact I'm an atheist, without feeling some redneck breathing down my throat and salivating over the image of me dragging behind his F150, let me know. Then we'll call it "progress."

    February 19, 2011 at 2:41 am |
  6. derp

    I am going to laugh my rear end off when all of the righteous dopes are standing in front of god and the conversation goes like this.

    God: "You're kidding me right?"

    Righteous: "No, seriously, we thought it was your word"

    God: " What on my green earth would make you think I would write something that justifies hating other people. I'm god for christ's sake?"

    Righteous: "But it seemed so believeable!"

    God: "Yeah well, you just spent your entire life doing the other guys work, have fun down there"

    February 14, 2011 at 2:00 pm |
    • cea

      Now THAT is funny stuff. I heard someone say, that when we look back at this, it will like the civil rights movement and politicians will be forever linked with the side they took during these discussions ( and votes).

      February 20, 2011 at 7:58 am |
    • Cupcake

      Um.. that's really so immature and not cute. First of all, you wouldn't know what God would say about this whole mix up so it isn't right for you to speak your opinion about what God would say. Seriously, you need to find another strategy of how to get your point across!!

      June 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm |
  7. derp

    Ah hatez homersectuals cuz da bibul telz ma two.

    Herp derp!!!!

    February 14, 2011 at 1:51 pm |
  8. bisorioco

    There's no progress in sin, the devil is a liar!!!!!!!!!!

    February 11, 2011 at 10:55 pm |
    • Todd

      Did you just say the devil is a tea bagger? How do you know?

      February 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm |
    • Devin

      But all men (and women) are born in sin, and thus we are all sinners. I just think it's funny that so many people delude themselves into thinking their own habits (sins) are less important than those of others. Get real people, Jesus Christ himself, when asked by his disciples answered quite distinctly. The most important thing to do, to ensure your way into Heaven is to put your faith in me, to love your neighbors and not to judge. That's it, pretty simple really, Believe in Christ, put your faith in him and don't judge. 3 little things, and it seems that no matter what, somebody has to be a judge.... or false Prophet, which of course will be cast into the pit of fire where the worm dyeth not. If you truely live for GOD show it by loving and helping your neighbors. It's not helpful to criticize and point out others faults... Only people who are afraid of their own short comings do that, in hopes that others will not notice the plank in their eye, by pointing out the smote (splinter) in anothers. The bible talked about all these things, but alas I digress...Believe, Love, do not judge. Very simple

      February 17, 2011 at 11:57 pm |

    I strongly believe, support and defend the statements made by my pastor, Bishop Vaughn McLughlin, Founder and Senior Pastor of The Potter's House Christian Fellowship in Jacksonville, Florida, society has lost the fear for the power of sin, lost respect of sin and the wages of sin is death. The true and legit preaching of the gospel, the teachings of our Savior Jesus should and will convict anyone to get right with God and turn away from sin. God does not hate the gays and lesbians, He hates their sin.

    February 11, 2011 at 7:15 pm |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.