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February 22nd, 2011
06:00 AM ET
What porn did to a marriageThe blog begins with a startling confession:
Church leaders have long struggled talking about sex, much less pornography. But Relevant magazine made a daring move this month when it printed a blogger’s confession about how his addiction to pornography affected his marriage. The blogger is John Buckingham, and he is an English teacher, Relevant says. Buckingham said in the story that his addiction to pornography started when he was 12. He thought it would end after his girlfriend accepted his marriage proposal in early 2010. Yet four months after getting married, Buckingham says he succumbed. He started watching pornography again. Burdened by guilt, Buckingham said he told his wife what he had done.
She didn’t, and as Buckingham suggests later in his article, he didn’t give up either. He says he talked with other Christian men about their struggles but felt that they were using “softening rhetoric” (“I messed up;’ “I stumbled”) to minimize what they were doing. He writes:
Rachel Buckingham, John's wife, writes a follow-up blog explaining how she felt after hearing her husband's confession.
Buckingham writes more about his struggle. I’ll leave it to readers to decide if they think he has overcome his addiction. But his confession left me with two questions: Is pornography now such a pervasive problem in the church that leaders need to talk more openly about? And can people of faith like Buckingham actually learn how to overcome their struggles while living in a sexually-charged culture where lurid images are just a mouse-click away?
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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Get out with this article. Are these people kidding and is CNN kidding with even posting it? Sorry to paint the stereotype but I imagine this guy speaking in a Jerry Springer style hillbilly accent while confessing all of his sins to his wife...wait what sins? These people should be sent to crazy camp.
Willard, you are hilarious. Where do you get your ideas from? "And so the wonderful christians wage war on non christians and enslave people of color, destroying cultures different from their own." Dude, did you get this from a comic book? Or did you really mean Nazis or something else? Think you live in a fantasy world.
Jay,
All other religions have been attacked or wiped out by Christians. How many other religions went on crusades, multiple times. Christians persecuted and even enslaved other non-christians which can be found in history books from England, Europe, and Asia. Nazis were a Christian group who believed in God so dont bring them up. Fantasy world is someone who stil thinks Santa Claus delivers presents and that for some mysterious reason a God that looks like man created all the Cosmos. Dude, you need more schooling.
the problem is NOT the po rn, the problem is this idiotic church telling them se xualtiy is a bad thing, is there negative po rn, sure, like everything else(books, movies, music etc), can you watch too much po rn, sure, you can also eat too much ice cream and get fat and unhealthy, doesn't make ice cream bad does it? why not share the po rn with your wife? or realize that even if you need to get off more than she does it in no way effects your love, your married, you don't OWN each other and if a religion is making you feel bad for no good reason.... it is a false religion
Two troubling sentences from that article; "The sin of lust." and "I no longer felt safe..."
Without lust humans would not be able to reproduce. Humans lot in life is to reproduce insuring the future expansion of our race. We like to think that we are all individuals, but in reality we all contribute to the one human race. The era of missionary style only has ended for the good.
It wouldn't be as appealing to watch if it weren't viewed as such a forbidden fruit. In my experience, moderately religious or secular people don't get themselves addicted to drugs or behaviors. Living an ascetic life and holding yourself to that expectation will only lead to failures, spectacular ones at that.
This is absolutel insanity. Religion is at the center of all the problems in the world today and throughout our history. For all you Christian nut jobs, how about them crusades? All religions, as others have commented, are built to control the masses. Question authority, think for yourself and you might realize that what you spew is nothing but religion's lies to keep you under "their" control.
I dont know any other religion that has made itself fat with wealth throughout the centuries from others sufferings. Humans do not need some made up God to be good people. Its all in our hearts spiritually, not religiously.
Religion is the only hope for a world gone insane. To blame the worlds problems on Religion instead of human error, greed and corruption, and warmongering, is indeed naive.
God loves you and we should love our fellow man
with whats written, how could we not want to pray for each other. I you don't believe I'm happy to pray for you
None of your hocus pocus on me. Just give me an ordinary American apple pie my friend.
Pronographyharms.com
This article should had been called "What religion did to our marriage"
bravo!
Best response, EVER!
or, what did religions do to this world!!!!!
OcTears, try harder.
God loves you despite your lack of humor, tact, and timing.
Will not one of you actually go to a website and learn??? http://www.pronharms.com
I bet if he had shown his wife what he was watching, she would like it also. Maybe even try it.
She was devestated? Nice support for your husband, lady. For better or for worse, right?
So he's looking at dirty pictures? Oh My! Are we all 12 again. Its no biggie – unless he spends 12 hours a day at it! Whats wrong with looking? I'm sorry but all you born agains need to start using your brains. If this is the worst we face, then we ar ein one helluva good shape! These church nuts are the biggest purveyors of hate and prejudice. Mind your own business people!
GOD is a concept, by which we measure our pain
You STOLE that quote.....LOL! Quote Stealer!!!!!
add one more 'b' to bible and it becomes exactly what it its....
BIBBLE
I agree "Christianity" does not own marriage. However, It was ordained by God when he created man and woman in the beginning. It is man whom has corrupted the marriage. Marriage is a covenant between a man and a women not easily broken. the papers do not make you married. the law does not make you married. Marriage is when man and women become one flesh. Jesus told the samaritan woman at the well she had five husbands and she was never "married by law". Before one should condemn the Christian's view of marriage, one should read the bible and find out how God and Christ instructed us on marriage. don't take some ones word for it. Read if for yourself.
Yeah, so why did and do people get married without the god of abraham (or zoroaster I should say)? How small minded could a person be?
Funny how people still believe in an ancient religion that stole all of its rituals from older religions. Man and women were not made in the Garden of Eden period, facts are facts just like the world is not round unlike what christians use to think back then. Maybe opening your minds to the real world and reading other material instead of the bible which has been rewritten over and over again by who knows will give you a better idea of our world and universe. "Religion is the opium of the masses" Marx.
LOL!
Disclaimer: The grace of God approves of this message.
Yep, Christ and God wrote the Bible AND they wrote it through all of their prophets and apostles so a church of THEIR appointed followers could literally rewrite, reorder, and "translate" Christ and God's Bible.
What the hell, bible thumpers...What the hell...
If man corrupted marriage, what else has man corrupted that is Christian? The Commandments? The Seven Deadly Sins? The Bible itself? Humans can corrupt just about anything, so how is it possible that a book that spans over 2000 years has not been corrupted in some form or fashion?
You plebs. I'm praying for all of your souls as I write this. And I want you to know that even through your harsh words, I still love you all and that God still loves you all. For what is Christianity, if not forgiving.
These poor people, this poor marriage. Sin corrupts even the most holy of promises. She is a strong woman of God to stand by her husband amidst all of his transgressions and abuses. Like Jonah and the whale, adversity is a fruit of challlenge. As was Jonah, life is not always what it seems and we are oh so constantly challenged.
I pray for the Buckkinghams.
So, you still have immaginary friends, believe in talking snakes that walk upright, wizards with staves that part seas, etc...
You need to see a neurologist as you may have Christophrenia. This is a very serious, intellectually stagnating condition.
And you have no sense of humor or power of observation
Wait, you only started building trust and intimacy after you got married? I think I've found your problem, you're emotionally stunted.
lol That is an excellent point Rizzo.
These two wimps sound like a real-life Ned and Maude Flanders.
carl lafong... he's a railroad man, gets up early in the morning...
LOL...perfect.
Nice going, Sparky. Nice to see that someone recognized the reference.
Femminism hit like 50 years ago... I think its time women grew up enough to understand "guys like to look at girls", if you're so insecure that you can't handle that... there is NO hope you'll ever be able to pick up your big girl panties and make a marriage work.
if i could like this comment just like on facebook you would have a lot of "likes" right now.
Insecure? Because a married woman who does ALL the dirty work is hurt by her HUSBAND ogling OTHER women that supposedly makes her insecure??? You MUST be joking! Hahahaaaaaaaaaa...............men shouldn't talk AT ALL! NOTHING is more fragile than a MAN'S EGO, and YOU know it! LMAO! Men are just lucky women are more sensitive to feelings, because most of us could have you crybabies cowering in a corner in about two seconds. Believe it.
If women were not concerned about their looks so much they would not spend so much time in front of the mirror. Face it, women are good for only a few things and none of them include making money that MAN makes.
Oh Really? is a woman. You can tell by the grammar and the use of "LOL" and "hahahahaha" and many periods. Let's get pac-man in there to clean those up. Get back into the kitchen and make a sandwich before I tell everyone about your moles down there.
I'll believe every word of what you chauvanists have to ssay when you say it to your mother's face. Till then you're just punk ass repressed mama's boys. BTW good luck finding any woman who will put up with your crap.
Ya – Just as guns harm and knives harm and harsh words harm. I think I need to go to http://www.anything can harmyou.com to find more awareness on how to cope with our world. Life is about learning how to deal with the world and trying to fix the world instead of ourselves, in relation to the world is misguided at best