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 Don Lemon with his grandmother on his third birthday.
May 22nd, 2011
01:00 AM ET
My Faith: How I learned to stop 'praying away the gay'Editor's Note: Don Lemon is a CNN anchor and author of Transparent, a memoir . By Don Lemon, CNN "School day, time to get up, sleepy head. School day." Although she's been gone since 1998, my grandmother's words ring in my head just about every morning of my life. That's how MaMe, as I called her, got me out of bed and off to my Catholic school when I was growing up and in her care. But before I shuffled my way to the bathroom to begin my morning routine, I had to hit the floor on my knees to pray, just as I had the night before. It was usually The Lord's Prayer ("Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...") followed by asking God to watch and guide me through my day until I returned to the safety of my home that evening. But MaMe (pronounced MAH-me) didn't know that at a very early age her favorite grandson had begun to pray, silently, that God would change him from being different, from having crushes on boys, from being more curious about boys than girls. By age four or five, I was too young to sexualize my infatuations but I knew that everyone else, including my family and friends, would think it was wrong. Perhaps it was the conversations I overheard from adults around my hometown of Port Allen, Louisiana, who'd mimic gay people, calling them "funny" or "sissy" or "fagots." Perhaps it was Sunday mornings at our Baptist church, where preachers taught that liking someone of the same sex was a direct and swift path to hell. And that if that person would just turn to the Lord and confess his sin, then God would change him back into the person He wanted him to be - a person who only had crushes on the opposite sex. All of which meant that, from a very early age, I began to think I was dirty and that I was going to hell. Can you imagine what that feels like for a kid who was just learning to read and perform basic arithmetic? It was awful. And talk about guilt - I was a Baptist attending Catholic school! I prayed the silent prayer for God to change me every chance I got until I started attending college in New York. That's when common sense began to take hold and I realized that no amount of prayer would change me into something that wasn't natural to me. With my religious upbringing, I'd had the opportunity to study religious doctrine. But I learned from different perspectives, from Catholic Mass on Fridays to Baptist services on Sundays to vacation Bible school in the summer to Bible study with a Jehovah's Witness as a teenager. As I got older I began to realize that all these people and institutions interpreted the Bible somewhat differently. I had a sort of epiphany: the Bible was about the lessons you learned, not about the events or words. When I became old enough, intelligent enough and logical enough to discern the difference between metaphor and reality, everything changed. I realized that Jonah living in the belly of a whale was a parable written in the same vein as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saying that he had "been to the mountaintop." Neither Jonah nor King had actually been to those places. They were metaphors for lessons for those of us who cared to absorb them. So many of us, especially in the black community and in churches, tend to think that religious teachings happened word for word as they were written in Scripture. I think that's naïve, even dangerous. That type of thinking - or non-thinking - keeps many religious people enslaved to beliefs that they haven't truly stepped back from and examined. That type of thinking causes people who are otherwise good to shun and ostracize young gay people. It causes people to want to control and change people who aren't like them. And who wants to be like someone else? Imagine if we had allowed Christian doctrines and teachings that supported slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women to pervade our society all the way up until the current moment. What kind of world would that be? Instead, we got on our knees, just as I did as a little boy, and prayed that slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women would end. In the United States, at least, those prayers have largely been realized. I'm no longer the member of any church but I do believe in a higher power. It's time for us, especially black people, to stop trying to pray the gay away and to get on our knees and start praying that the discrimination of gay people ends. What we're doing to our young gay people now is child abuse. It's plain old bigotry and hatred. And if African-Americans don't know what that feels like in America, I don't know who does. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Don Lemon. soundoff (4,733 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 Next »
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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Read Romans 1:21 to the end of the chapter, you will see what god thinks of gay people. You are right, praying will not take away the feelings that you have, you have to give some to. Do what the bible says and look intently at its contents and choose a religion that you believe to be the one that has the best 'fruits' and that mimics the bible (this is important because the bible says that we should meet together and Jesus spoke of a "good and faithful servant" that would "give the food at the proper time." I am not guaranteeing you that you will not have feelings for the rest of your life but if you keep telling yourself that what your flesh is telling you to do is bad and filthy you will bear through till the end of this world!
Lo-rd Al-mighty.
I would humbly submit that text may only tell you what Saul, (Paul), of Tarsus, thought, a product of his contemporary cu-ltural environment. If he had uttered even one thing that was exceptional to his time/place worldview, I might have to wonder about his inspiration, but he never did. He thought he was writing letters about his own opinions, the concept of a NT did not arise until many years later.
You know of course that there are a number of scripture scholars who think his proverbial "thorn in the flesh" that he was always complaining about was a same s-ex attraction, which he never resolved for himself.
G-d doesn't "think". G-d, if he exists, exists outside space-time, and "thinking" is a time dependent process.
Why don't people ever think about the meanings of the words they use ?
Stop this – this is not news. You are gay and thats fine. Some people have a problem with it, and yes that is a problem but again – is this news?????
Its a blog posting that just happens to be hosted within CNN server. Chances are it only made it to the front page by some automated means....its generated 21 pages of comments which was probably the trigger.
Over a thousand posts in response? Seems like a story to me.
sorry but being gay is not only a sin is an aberration.is unnatural and people should be ashamed to be gay.trying to change the way nature works is disgusting,too tale will they find out how wrong it is.so no it's not ok to be gay.
Forcing gay people to try to act straight is going against how nature works. Have you seen nature? It's messy.
And shame on you for trying to your beat people down with your dehumanizing words. Jesus came to admonish people like you.
I once saw a news story where two penguins were sinning in an unnatural way.
It *is* okay to be Gay!
Not everyone's faith has the same rules...live and let live. My faith has no problem with gays. Its a little insulting (and concerning) when another faith is trying to impose their moral stance on others. Doesn't that scare anyone else?
Wht is your faith? Cause my faith doesn't support this kind of EVIL...
If I told you, you'd just attack it. Christian denomination, and there are quite a few. Can you name even 5 of the biggies? Your post was already full of judgement and condemnation. Leave the judgement to the only one qualified to judge.
I am of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Don, the bible allows me to teach a rebuke. That is exactly what I am doing. When someone twists the word of God, I feel it is imperative that I teach the truth. I cannot tell you where you will spend eternity, even though I care where you spend it, it is between you and God.
Thank you for a thought, intelligent article.
There's no point in arguing with people that condemn and judge others. They obviously have not gotten it yet. Let them hate and condemn and look down on people, so that one day they can realize their mistake and how they got it all wrong. Judge not and thou shall not be judged.
God is a God of Love and forgiveness.
Well said, John. There was a time when I would have been boiling mad afer reading a lot of these posts. It is so nice not to get so wrapped up in the ignorance of others anymore.
Arguing will produce the opposite effect; it will take them farther from the truth. Only in the purest, 100% non-judgemental, unconditional love; can God's truth be told and understood. The moment a judgement is passed on another human being, all wisdom evaporates.
I thank God for His mercy, for Christ–our Lord and Savior; and for not being hateful to us gays, like some of these people seem to demand.
Peace.
Hey John wake up!! This isn't a dream...God judged Sodom and Gomorrah. Just as he will judge you!
Don, I think you ROCK! You are handsome, smart, hard working, you got it all. I'm proud of you. If you dont have a lover, hey I'm 41 GWM and I'd go out with you. I'm a big old bible thumper, love me some Jesus, and I know what the bible really says. I've prayed, read for true understanding, and me and Jesus are tight. Wanna go out sometime??
if you knew what the bible REALLY says, you would know that living a life in willful sin, be it lying, adutry, lust, blasphemy.. name your broken commandment.. then Jesus will say to you.. "depart from me, I never knew you" on that day. Look.. I agree Don is an awesome reporter, he looks like a really cool guy, but what matters is the state of your soul. If you really care for someone, you would want them to be saved from Gods judgement.. for them to repent.. turn from their lifestyle of willfull sin.. a life that is planned by sin.. and turn to God... not in perfection, but in direction.... cool peole dont have to be fleshy, unrepentant, spirrters in the face of Gid because they feel they are right.. i know my feelings have led me astray many times.. feelings can and will be wrong, but Gods word is true. Im praying for his heart and mind to be softend to the things of God... so I can see him in heaven one day..
seriously;
hey, re-read romans. its pretty clear, what was a sin isnt a sin anymore through grace.
I am a 77 year old great grandmother Don, and I think you are terrific. I always look forward to watching you on CNN and I find that part of your charm in your reporting is that you "wear your heart on your sleeve." Best wishes to you.
It's amazing how many people in this country judge and hate others instead of living and let live!
I just wish that people would realized that the end of the world as we know it will come..but the bible says that No ONE knows the hour or the day that the rapture happens. The person who said it was gonna happen yesterday is NOT a true Christian, the bible talks about these things..and the gay issue has always been talked/argued about but IT IS an abomination to GOD. It's not that I'm judging anyone who is gay its just a biblical fact. No one is born gay..Come on people..all u gotta do is read God's holy word..The bible.
Could you please point out the scripture in the Bible where it says it is a sin to be a lesbian?
The biblical fact is that we are under grace not the law of moses. Because of Jesus, and my faith in him, my g a yness is not a sin.
Sin is sin, whether you are under grace or not. Jesus calls us to be HOLY, separate from the world and tells us not to give into our sinful nature.
Gina, you did get the first thing right about the end of the world; but you have missed out on the whole point of the Bible and of Christ's sacrifice for mankind.
The Bible verse is Leviticus 18:22
To 'Gina' – it's astounding. Based on your screen-name I assume you're a woman... are you truly ignorant of how scripture was once used to keep women from voting, holding office, owning property, etc. etc. etc? And here you are, guilty of the same bias 'in God's name' that men a century ago were guilty of.
There are also numerous new test. verses as well just in case someone says we are under a new covenant.
mosquito...yes we are under a new covenant, and you can eat all the pork you want, not be cirucmzd, divorce and re-marry, wear polyester, kiss boys and work on the sabath.
I feel sorry for you. I knew I was gay since I was 5 yrs old, although I didn't know that was the word for it. I just knew I was different and the object of attraction was boys not girls. My dad is a pastor, and I was a Sunday School teacher until I was in my 20's but I didn't come out until my 40's because of the shame. It's people like you that makes gays feel shamed and inadequate, when we should instead respond to your ignorance by standing up for who we are with pride and confidence. What a waste of a human being you are.
welladjusted, show me scripture that teaches me that.. No need to look because it isnt there. The Bible teaches to be HOLY, separate from the world, and to not give into our fleshly desires. It doesnt teach, go a head and sin because I died so you can keep it up.
CNN needs to stop promoting its gay agenda...If you wonder why you stink in the ratings this is why
You know what the gay agenda is? Tolerance, love, acceptance. We want only what straight people have. No more, and no less.
Deal. We are not going away.
Perhaps you should pay attention. This is one gay article writtine by one anchor. How many stories have they done on "Black in America" or the many religious stories they have promoted – many of them actually in good light. But, yes, CNN has a gay adgenda. Sure. Get out of your head and pay attention to something other than what you WANT to see.
Are you really a pimp? If so, are you the apple or the orange?
So sad that you are so full of self hatred and fear that you close your heart to ALL humanity. Not a very good Jesus-lesson-follower are 'ya? Your alleged savior that you purport to worship loved ALL people. Face your fears and stop hating.
if you don't like it, then don't watch it or read it. really easy. check out family radio network, i hear they've got some good ideas on the "gay agenda".
Don't like it? Then don't read it. Simple.
God said it and HE does not change His mind. It is an ABOMINATION for aman to lie with another man and an ABOMINATION for a woman to lie with another woman. All the intellects in the world cannot change what God has said. There is no other truth...He believe it is an abomination so marriage will only, in the eyes of GAYS, be an attempt to legitimize their deviant behavior...what else???? Marriage....two men...disgusting!!!!
James,
Shellfish is also an abomination. Ever had any?
Read the Golden Rule and don't be so foolish.
Trouble is, he never said that. Man said he said that, because it made him feel good to set up a convoluted belief system, to keep the male priests employed, by getting the sheep to think they held the "keys to the kingdom". You need to get out more.
Did he use caps too?
Sorry I meant
Did HE use caps too?
James. Good for you! You have read some of the bible. You havnt finished yet. Let me clarify. It WAS an abomination for the priests in Israel at that time. We who are saved by Jesus Christ are NOT under the law. If we are believers it is NOT a sin.
James, you are an abomination. GTFO noob.
Ignorant! This is why we can't have honest debates about things like gay marriage. No gay couple pushing for the legality of gay marriage are certainly not pushing for it because they want it to "get out of the sin" that is silly. They want legal rights for their loved ones. What if you weren't allowed to be with your wife on her death bed? What if you weren't allowed to file joinly with her? What if you adopted a child and only one of you had legal rights to the child? (I could go on and on). Don't ask people to open their eyes to YOUR truth unless you are willing to do the same for someone elses.
James, its ok to be gay. Come down, you can come out of the closet, and people will still love you.
You are excatly right James! Don Lemon s trying to stir from the Bible. No everything is not literal but the part about not lying down with a man is. He is inteligent enough to know the truth. He's fooling hiself and everyone else to believe a lie!
you know what else is disgusting? abuse of power by church figures, like all of the priests who have molested and abused children. see ya at church sunday, james!! 🙂
@ Observer X
I am so glad there is someone here who does know which parts of the bible are meant to be taken literally and which ones are metaphorical so can you clear some things up for me?
I once ate shellfish. I didn't like it but am I damned or is that a metaphor?
I once (OK many times) have had a female teacher. Do I need to ask forgiveness?
I am currently wearing a shirt that is linen and pants that are cotton. Am I going to hell?
I once hugged my girlfriend when she was 'unclean. Am I doomed?
Can I get away with shaving every other day or is it a strict rule?
It is an abomination for a woman to lie with another woman? What are you gay?
Welladjusted, can you show me where sin is not a sin if you are a believer?
Welladjusted, can you show me where sin is not a sin if you are a believer? You must have a different bible.
@Brandon No I do not have all your anwsers,but I assure you if God says its an ABOMINATON it is. I am certain about the gay issue. Have you ever heard the story aout Sodom and Gomorrah?
@Observor X
Well at least you are the flawless truth on that issue. BTW does God speak to you through a disembodied voice or the neighbor's dog?
@James "ABOMINATION for a woman to lie with another woman." actually that isn't in the bible at all. So this makes you a bearer of false witness against your neighbors and a sinner.
Luke, thanks for your response, but I think Jesus was talking about when he returns on Judgment day. I could be wrong. But, in general there are many many passages where Jesus time and time again speaks of loving your brother. Oh forget about the passages, what about the 10 commandments? Love God, thyself, your neighbor...Unlike a lot of Christians...JESUS WAS NOT TRYING TO CONFUSE US.
Your story is sad but so true...
I watched my young brother-in-law grow up trying to hide the fact that he was gay. He grew up to be a fine young man who was brilliant and had so much potential. Unfortunately, he died when he was in his 30's, and his Baptist Aunt & Uncle told all the family that the reason he died was because he was gay. And that he would go to hell. His mother is still living in a horrid sadness some 20 years later. This same Aunt and Uncle (who controlled the family money) made sure that this poor old woman lives in poverty, all because her son was gay.
Sounds like the woman should have cut herself off from her family. Not an easy task, but the alternative was far worse.
Don Lemon, I would love to hear from TJ Holmes on this, because I am sure many people think yall are the same person. All the CNN black dudes have the same look. I wonder if people are mixing you guys up and making comments to the non-Lemon black dudes.
Joy,
The Bible also says “For if a woman does not cover her head (while praying), let her also have her hair cut off”
“If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and forces himself on her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.”
and "If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death;”
So what was your point?
There are so many more of these. They seem to get forgotten because those ones don't fit as well into today's church. HUH!
Notice that posters like 'Joy' never respond to posts like these, but will just willfully ignore them?
You have to read more than one book impress me. Marx said that religon was the opiate of the people, Orwell said it was mind control. Why not belive those writings. Hey joy how about you read some other books and then come back and talk with the adults. If you are a real beliver that the bible is the word of god then read Mark 16: 17-18 and grab a rattlesnake and drink some poison.
People have been using their idea of God for centuries to inflict pain, suffering, and hurt (Crusades, Inquisition, Salem Witch Hunts). What unique concept to use God for loving instead of judging others.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people have been brainwashed into believing there is an invisible man that they can talk to in their head.
...that oddly enough tells them to hate exactly who they already want to hate.
Brian: is love invisible to you? When you talk about love do yo talk with your head ? God is Love. no a man in your head, not an abusive priest or a brainwashed person. Love lives in you if you want it, if you alow it.
Please do not confuse Christian belief with false prophesy. What this man shared is not Biblical truth. The Bible clearly states only God he father knows when the world will end. I am a Christian. I believe Jesus died for my sins and conquered death. I believe he is coming again. And I believe his grace is extended to us all. I hate no one and feel I am not better than any man. I sin, I make mistakes, I make poor decisions, bad things sometimes happen to me. I just believe that one day I will live for eternity in Heaven. I encourage you to get to know Jesus not Christians.
pls read Leviticus 18:22,Leviticus 20;13,1:18-32,1st Corinthians 6:9-11,1Timothy 1:9-11.May God grant you understanding and help you.
I've read those books, now you re-read romans. We are not under the law, I'd think a Christian would know that.
only those ones? are those your handpicked verses that support YOUR views?
Quiet please. God is watching all sinners.
"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." 1 Timothy 2:12
Nice to use a "cafeteria" style of Scripture readings to support your views.
Don't ready any of that crap this loser is suggesting. Just believe in whatever you are. Be yourself because everyone else is already taken!
That's the problem with cherry-picking: youcut out the bits that convict yourself. You spit in the face of the Jews and Christians who wrote the Bible when you presume to take things out of context. Dispense with your modern (mis)translation and explore the Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek of the true Bible.
Romans 2:1-2 – "Therefore, you are without excuse, every one of you who passes judgment. For by the standard by which you judge another you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the very same things."
@Joy: Please read Leviticus 19:28,Leviticus 11:9,Romans 2:1,1st Corinthians 6:1, and 1Timothy 2:9 and explain why you think your verses apply but these verses in the same books you cite (against tattoos, eating shellfish, against putting oneself in a position to judge others, against Christians using civil courts, and against women wearing jewelry) do not...
Excellent responses by all that 'Joy' will no doubt simply ignore because 'Joy' simply refuses to look at them.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."