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 Don Lemon with his grandmother on his third birthday.
May 22nd, 2011
01:00 AM ET
My Faith: How I learned to stop 'praying away the gay'Editor's Note: Don Lemon is a CNN anchor and author of Transparent, a memoir . By Don Lemon, CNN "School day, time to get up, sleepy head. School day." Although she's been gone since 1998, my grandmother's words ring in my head just about every morning of my life. That's how MaMe, as I called her, got me out of bed and off to my Catholic school when I was growing up and in her care. But before I shuffled my way to the bathroom to begin my morning routine, I had to hit the floor on my knees to pray, just as I had the night before. It was usually The Lord's Prayer ("Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...") followed by asking God to watch and guide me through my day until I returned to the safety of my home that evening. But MaMe (pronounced MAH-me) didn't know that at a very early age her favorite grandson had begun to pray, silently, that God would change him from being different, from having crushes on boys, from being more curious about boys than girls. By age four or five, I was too young to sexualize my infatuations but I knew that everyone else, including my family and friends, would think it was wrong. Perhaps it was the conversations I overheard from adults around my hometown of Port Allen, Louisiana, who'd mimic gay people, calling them "funny" or "sissy" or "fagots." Perhaps it was Sunday mornings at our Baptist church, where preachers taught that liking someone of the same sex was a direct and swift path to hell. And that if that person would just turn to the Lord and confess his sin, then God would change him back into the person He wanted him to be - a person who only had crushes on the opposite sex. All of which meant that, from a very early age, I began to think I was dirty and that I was going to hell. Can you imagine what that feels like for a kid who was just learning to read and perform basic arithmetic? It was awful. And talk about guilt - I was a Baptist attending Catholic school! I prayed the silent prayer for God to change me every chance I got until I started attending college in New York. That's when common sense began to take hold and I realized that no amount of prayer would change me into something that wasn't natural to me. With my religious upbringing, I'd had the opportunity to study religious doctrine. But I learned from different perspectives, from Catholic Mass on Fridays to Baptist services on Sundays to vacation Bible school in the summer to Bible study with a Jehovah's Witness as a teenager. As I got older I began to realize that all these people and institutions interpreted the Bible somewhat differently. I had a sort of epiphany: the Bible was about the lessons you learned, not about the events or words. When I became old enough, intelligent enough and logical enough to discern the difference between metaphor and reality, everything changed. I realized that Jonah living in the belly of a whale was a parable written in the same vein as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saying that he had "been to the mountaintop." Neither Jonah nor King had actually been to those places. They were metaphors for lessons for those of us who cared to absorb them. So many of us, especially in the black community and in churches, tend to think that religious teachings happened word for word as they were written in Scripture. I think that's naïve, even dangerous. That type of thinking - or non-thinking - keeps many religious people enslaved to beliefs that they haven't truly stepped back from and examined. That type of thinking causes people who are otherwise good to shun and ostracize young gay people. It causes people to want to control and change people who aren't like them. And who wants to be like someone else? Imagine if we had allowed Christian doctrines and teachings that supported slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women to pervade our society all the way up until the current moment. What kind of world would that be? Instead, we got on our knees, just as I did as a little boy, and prayed that slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women would end. In the United States, at least, those prayers have largely been realized. I'm no longer the member of any church but I do believe in a higher power. It's time for us, especially black people, to stop trying to pray the gay away and to get on our knees and start praying that the discrimination of gay people ends. What we're doing to our young gay people now is child abuse. It's plain old bigotry and hatred. And if African-Americans don't know what that feels like in America, I don't know who does. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Don Lemon. soundoff (4,733 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 Next »
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  About this blog
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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I will pray for you tonight.
I absolutely love this article – Go Don Go!
Don is a beautiful soul, a great person.
soysauce
Well, at least I made you think about it. The work of conviction. Are you angry? Sorry, I just try to enlighthen with the Word not judge. and no – you are not right. and you know you are not.
You're the angry one, cuz you keep posting in all capitals about your hellfire and brimstone. Seems I struck a little chord there when I told you that I know that you know I'm right, since you addressed that.
You know that I am 100% right about you and your evil beliefs. I know that you know that you are 100% wrong and you simply like belonging to a little paranoid group of extremely angry and paranoid people.
Info
@Geraldine Coleman
Then are you a penguin. because humans have souls- animals do not.
As far as the fairy tale goes. It was written by different writers by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Some books as much as hundreds of years apart. All the scrolls were brought together as one book the Bible. and yet it is consistent and True.
We can continue to ignore. But it is still True. and How did we become animals of different races and languages?
Animals and humans are descended from a common ancestor (anthropology/biology 101). Sooo sharing similar biology, it wouldnt make sense that animals don't have souls. But if animals dont have souls, and dont go to heaven when they die, then theres no point in going to heaven anyway, cuz i wouldnt want to be anywhere where your pets didnt also follow.
You're making it seem like humans are more important than other life forms. We're not, we just think we are, cause we can create grand illusions like organized religion. It's pretty self-righteous if you ask me. It's like saying alcohol is a better drug than marijuana because it's legal.
@Geraldine Coleman
"As far as the fairy tale goes. It was written by different writers by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Some books as much as hundreds of years apart. All the scrolls were brought together as one book the Bible. and yet it is consistent and True.We can continue to ignore. But it is still True"
The Bible was written for men by men to be used by men with seal of the word of God to enforce their views. The Bible is full of inconsistencies, inaccuracies, and flat out impossibilities, it's more fiction then fact. The more we learn about archeology and history in biblical times the more we realize that most of the stuff in the bible is fiction, mythical story telling nothing more. The fact that we books not in the bible that are considered canon, sacred book just not in the bible, these "different writers" formed a committee decided what to put in and what to take out which does work with the message they want to give to the masses labeling it as the word of God and inspired by the Holy Spirit.
race are factors such as heritable phenotypical characteristics or geographic ancestry, but also often influenced by and correlated with traits such as appearance, culture, ethnicity, and socio-economic status.
There are many theories about the origins of language, our earliest ancestors, perhaps the first who had whatever genetic and physiological properties needed to make complex sounds and organize them into strings is called monogenesis
Many of the first humans lived in different parts of the world when languages arose. What would be the chances of them all developing the exact same language? Very slim. The bible was written in one language originally. People translated it.
The English language has elements of Latin, German, and French, languages from areas that were once in the Roman Empire all have similarities to Latin. similar to race right?
I can tell you we are not decedents from an ark or language through a tower.
wrong wrong and wrong again. First off, if everyone turned gay, society would keep on going just fine, because we already know how to make a baby. Science has taught us all the ins and outs of that. All you need are the gametes of the male and female. I know a lesbian who just gave birth to a daughter...how? Through a sperm donation. If the whole world were gay, we would continue to procreate through either artificial insemination or people volunteering to become parents and engaging in the mating ritual. Secondly, there is nothing sinful at all about two people who love eachother regardless of whether or not they are the same or opposite gender. You are a liar, because you say that you're not being judgmental, but all you are doing is JUDGING JUDGING JUDGING without being in someone elses shoes.
It's obvious that you go through life paranoid and angry that people have different beliefs than you. Face it, you just like being part of a group, nothing more. Stop telling other people what to believe, because you are no more right than anyone else. Get a life. And i know that you know that I'm right.
You are the one calling people liars for expressing opinions you don't share. You are the one throwing around insults and calling people paranoid, angry, and judgmental. Seems like you are displaying anger and judging people yourself. Get a grip.
He who is without sin may throw the first stone.
Angry little bird aren't you. I will pray for you too.
joe
Ah yes, the classic defense "it was for a different time" which religious people love to use when they don't want to follow a particular verse. Why not apply that to verses regarding gay behavior too?
the one before it? "a woman should learn in quietness and full submission" not sure how that demonstrates we dont need to follow the next verse.....
all im saying is, if we can dismiss verses which are no longer suitable – like 1 timothy 2:12, why not dismiss ones that condemn don too?
who condemned don, I didn't. Must be conviction.. remeber at this time this was a letter to one person who had questions to come up in his church. there were no fax machines, no copiers or other means of technologies to make copies. and these were scrolls, the Bible was not put together as a book.
allfaith
Geraldine,
I respect your beliefs, but are any of us wise enough to speak for everyone? Wouldn't it be better to share our beliefs and attempt to come to some kind of understanding of our own motivations?
Yes, its your choice. Just like being gay is a choice.
I don't think Geraldine thinks any of us have anything to offer.
Do you belong to a church that preaches that being gay is a sin? Do you feel a need to prove that you belong by attacking Don Lemon? Could you please be an individual for a moment. Do you think Don Lemon is hurting someone by being himself? If you said yes, then why?
Well, no it's not a choice at all...but even if it were a choice, why is it any of your business? It's called live and let live, something that people like you have a VERY difficult time with.
Info
@Geraldine Coleman
HUMANS ARE ANIMALS? EVER SEEN TO MALE DOGS HOOKING UP? PLEASE. GAY IS A CHOICE HONEY. WE CAN TRY TO SUGAR COAT IT, COMPROMISE WITH IT, OVER LOOK IT, FIX IT UP, IT IS NOT NATURAL AND IT IS ALSO INCLUDED IN THE LIST OF SINS. THIS SIN IS AGAINST NATURE. IF EVERYONE WAS GAY. THEN SOCIETY WOULD CEASE TO EXIST. I DON'T HATE ANY SOUL OF GOD. WE ARE ALL IN THIS FIGHT (SPIRITUAL WARFARE) TOGETHER AS MANKIND. WE HAVE ONE ENEMY THAT MAKES US CHOOSE INTENTIONAL, CONTINOUS SINS AND THAT IS SATAN. MY FIGHT IS NOT AGAINST DON, OR ANY OTHER GAY PERSON, OR MURDERER, OR ADULTER. I WANT US ALL TO WIN. BUT THERE IS A FALSE LIE THAT SATAN IS PLANTING IN THE MIND OF SOCIETY AND THAT IS, he IS NOT REAL TO SOME, AND GOD IS NOT REAL TO SOME. HE WANTS US TO NOT BELIEVE AND KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ACTUAL SPIRITUAL WAR FOR SOULS. I DONT MEAN TO SOUND ERRATIC BUT IT IS URGENT THAT EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, I AM SORRY IF I OFFEND ANYONE, THIS IS FOR KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM NOT TO CONDEMN AND JUDGE. HOSEA 4:6
Ur kidding me? If dogs have nuts they will hump anything. Even inanimate objects. No i have never in my life seen two male dogs actually doing it. Either way, i hate to put it this way but humans are pretty much the most intelligent species on the planet. Dogs are pretty stupid which is why they hump anything they can prop up on. Im a male of a different species and i dont spend my day scanning my living room looking for something to get off on. Why would you want to compare us to dogs anyway?
soysauce
so what is the truth of god then? Is god loving or is god angry and vengeful? And which god are you referring to? Because there are tonnes to choose from.
I will not type in all caps again. because offending others is not my motive here. the only GOD that I will ever refer to is the CREATOR of the heavens, the ONE and True only Living GOD. I don't know about the other tons of them.
geraldine, if you are using windows you can press ctrl+mousewheel up (or maybe alt+mousewheel up) to make all the letters larger.
Info
@Geraldine Coleman
HUMANS ARE ANIMALS? EVER SEEN TO MALE DOGS HOOKING UP? PLEASE. GAY IS A CHOICE HONEY. WE CAN TRY TO SUGAR COAT IT, COMPROMISE WITH IT, OVER LOOK IT, FIX IT UP, IT IS NOT NATURAL AND IT IS ALSO INCLUDED IN THE LIST OF SINS. THIS SIN IS AGAINST NATURE. IF EVERYONE WAS GAY. THEN SOCIETY WOULD CEASE TO EXIST. I DON'T HATE ANY SOUL OF GOD. WE ARE ALL IN THIS FIGHT (SPIRITUAL WARFARE) TOGETHER AS MANKIND. WE HAVE ONE ENEMY THAT MAKES US CHOOSE INTENTIONAL, CONTINOUS SINS AND THAT IS SATAN. MY FIGHT IS NOT AGAINST DON, OR ANY OTHER GAY PERSON, OR MURDERER, OR ADULTER. I WANT US ALL TO WIN. BUT THERE IS A FALSE LIE THAT SATAN IS PLANTING IN THE MIND OF SOCIETY AND THAT IS, he IS NOT REAL TO SOME, AND GOD IS NOT REAL TO SOME. HE WANTS US TO NOT BELIEVE AND KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ACTUAL SPIRITUAL WAR FOR SOULS. I DONT MEAN TO SOUND ERRATIC BUT IT IS URGENT THAT EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, I AM SORRY IF I OFFEND ANYONE, THIS IS FOR KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM NOT TO CONDEMN AND JUDGE. HOSEA 4:6
EPHESIANS 6:12
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
(NEW LIVING TRANSLATIONS)
Step into the light. You're walking in the shadows. Peace is in all things.
@Geraldine Coleman
That same tired excuse "IF EVERYONE WAS GAY. THEN SOCIETY WOULD CEASE TO EXIST" The fact is not everyone is gay only a few are so that excuse is moot, invalid, and unreasonable. It's not a choice, it's genetic.
according to National Geographic "Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York's Central Park Zoo have been inseparable for six years now. They display classic pair-bonding behavior—entwining of necks, mutual preening, flipper flapping, and the rest. They also have s-ex, while ignoring potential female mates." it's a natural thing in the wild so yes animals hook up your wrong again.
Humans are animals, it explains the remnants of your tail bone your sitting on to type your judgement which is a no no in your holy book and the goosebumps on your skin that was originally use to raise hair all over our bodies when our ancestors who were a lot hairier so yes we are animals not from dust.
Try reading other books other then a 2000 year old fairy tale.
@Geraldine Coleman
being gay isn't a choice. just like being straight isn't. my opinion is that it's natural and a normal aspect of human se-xu-ality. the American Psychological As-sociation in 1975 removed it from it's list of mental diseases. s-ex is a more greater subject with not just reproductive characteristics, but psychological and social too. When your in love the se-xual organs don't matter. Ho-mose-xual behavior occurs very frequently in nature, so it is by definition natural. Humans ARE animals.
Scientific researchers specializing in human se-xuality have repeatedly shown that ho-mose-xuality is genetic, and have shown genetic research using family and twin methodologies has produced consistent evidence that genes influence se-xual orientation and The survival of a human predisposition for ho-mose-xuality can be explained by se-xual orientation being a polygenetic trait that is influenced by a number of genes.
It's easy to hate, bash, and be ignorant to the people you know nothing about.
Why would anyone willfully choose to be gay? Knowing the only thing that awaits them in our society is discrimination, Hate, loneliness, isolation, and injustice from people like you.
Why is it okay to pick and choose what to follow and what to ignore as the word in God? The Old Testament Book of Leviticus, we're told it is wrong for a man to be with another man, In the very next chapter we are told to stone to death are disobedient children. Why is okay to condemn people for who they are but ignore other words of God that affect you so you refuse to acknowledge it? Picking and choose what you agree with is inconsistent or fair
Do you enforce your church to apply the same rules to their adulterous remarried members as they apply to ho-mose-xuals?
adultery is in a list of sins that will keep a person out of Heaven.
Obviously it is wrong to beat your children and obviously the adulterers are wrong. That only leaves one other thing and what do you think i would say about it?
Thank-you Info.
Southern Baptist
Geraldine, you embarrass me. Sometimes I think people literally get on here and post stupid things to make Christians look bad. Posts like these make me cringe.
YOU ARE NOT CRINGING AT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU ARE CRINGING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO COMPROMISE THE TRUTH OF GOD. I AM NOT SORRY FOR BEING BOLD. IF YOU WANT TO BE A WEAK WATERED DOWN SAINT THEN DO THAT. I HAVE A BOLDNESS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH. ITS CHRISITIANS LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON WHY THE WORLD DOES NOT KNOW THE TRUTH OF GOD.
so what is the truth of god then? Is god loving or is god angry and vengeful? And which god are you referring to? Because there are tonnes to choose from.
Geraldine,
I respect your beliefs, but are any of us wise enough to speak for everyone? Wouldn't it be better to share our beliefs and attempt to come to some kind of understanding of our own motivations?
JOE,
YES, I AM A FEMALE. THANKS FOR THE RECOMMENDATION BUT THAT SCRIPTURE WAS WRITTEN IN ANSWER TO A QUESTION THAT TIMOTHY WAS PASTORING AT THE TIME. READ THE SCRIPTUERS ABOVE IT AND THEN I RECOMMEND YOU TO MY TEACHER AT II TIMOTHY 3:15( SECOND TIMOTHY)
Ah yes, the classic defense "it was for a different time" which religious people love to use when they don't want to follow a particular verse. Why not apply that to verses regarding gay behavior too?
the one before it? "a woman should learn in quietness and full submission" not sure how that demonstrates we dont need to follow the next verse.....
all im saying is, if we can dismiss verses which are no longer suitable – like 1 timothy 2:12, why not dismiss ones that condemn don too?
Religious extremism is bad mmmk?
Geraldine, Please turn off the all caps. You're yelling at people and that's rude.
soysauce
The crazies can spit hellfire and brimstone all they want but nothing changes the fact that gays are here to stay and there's nothing they can do about it.
SO IS THE BRIMSTONE FOR ALL OF US WHO DIE ARE CAUGHT IN SINFUL BEHAVIORS THAT ARE INTENTIONAL AND CONTINOUS,
Yeah, no idea what the hell you are rambling on about there. Proofreading is your friend.
TO EVERYONE. I AM ACTUALLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS SO THAT I CAN SEE BETTER. THE SCREEN HURTS MY EYES. I AM NOT WRITING THIS FOR VOICE TONE AS I SAID EARLIER. SORRY FOR THE MISCOMMUNICATION.
Does your web browser have a zoom function or can you set the text to a larger size?
The crazies can spit hellfire and brimstone all they want but nothing changes the fact that gays are here to stay and there's nothing they can do about it.
joe
actually yes. I would like to see him. I literally looked in that place you mentioned, but I did not find him. Perhaps an address or phone number?
ACTUALLY HE WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE SCRIPTURE. IF YOU CONFESS HIM AND BELIEVE THAT GOD RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD. YOU SHALL BE SAVED. THIS IS HOW YOU FIND HIM BY ACCEPTING HIM. THE ADDRESS IS IN YOUR OWN HEART. IF YOU ACCEPT HIM HE WILL COME IN TO LIVE WITHIN YOU. THANKS LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE.
wyldesolos
You need mental therapy
YOU ARE RIGHT AND I HAVE A VERY GOOD THERAPIST VERY ROOTED AND GROUNDED IN HIS WORD. HIS NAME IS DR. JESUS IF YOU WANT TO SEE HIM MAKE AN APPOINTMENT AT ROMANS 10:9. LET ME KNOW IF HE HEALS YOUR MIND.
BTW it seems as though you are just quoting direct scriptures. You do know that a lot of the bible is a lot of analogies and metaphors. They are not always meant to be so literal. I think the general belief is that people in those times wrote in this way to make it easier to remember and relay stories and teachings to others. My point is maybe for your sake it would be more effective to tell people what you want to say and then maybe post the scripture that you think supports it. Not in reply to me though. That would just be annoying because i am not a believer.
Give me a break. Jesus was a profoundly good and kind man, and you and the others who twist his words into some of the most hateful speech the world has ever heard are shameful, spiteful beings. I trust that one day, if the time comes as you believe it will, you will stand before God, and be judged weak, imperfect, and a sinner in equal measure.
Your hateful hyperbole is just one more example of the bigotry of those who think they are above reproach. And why? Wasn't it DR. JESUS who commanded that he is without sin should throw the first stone? Perhaps you need a "prescription" to take a good look in the mirror before you judge again, lest you be judged in kind.
Don you are a hero! The world needs more like you.