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 Don Lemon with his grandmother on his third birthday.
May 22nd, 2011
01:00 AM ET
My Faith: How I learned to stop 'praying away the gay'Editor's Note: Don Lemon is a CNN anchor and author of Transparent, a memoir . By Don Lemon, CNN "School day, time to get up, sleepy head. School day." Although she's been gone since 1998, my grandmother's words ring in my head just about every morning of my life. That's how MaMe, as I called her, got me out of bed and off to my Catholic school when I was growing up and in her care. But before I shuffled my way to the bathroom to begin my morning routine, I had to hit the floor on my knees to pray, just as I had the night before. It was usually The Lord's Prayer ("Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...") followed by asking God to watch and guide me through my day until I returned to the safety of my home that evening. But MaMe (pronounced MAH-me) didn't know that at a very early age her favorite grandson had begun to pray, silently, that God would change him from being different, from having crushes on boys, from being more curious about boys than girls. By age four or five, I was too young to sexualize my infatuations but I knew that everyone else, including my family and friends, would think it was wrong. Perhaps it was the conversations I overheard from adults around my hometown of Port Allen, Louisiana, who'd mimic gay people, calling them "funny" or "sissy" or "fagots." Perhaps it was Sunday mornings at our Baptist church, where preachers taught that liking someone of the same sex was a direct and swift path to hell. And that if that person would just turn to the Lord and confess his sin, then God would change him back into the person He wanted him to be - a person who only had crushes on the opposite sex. All of which meant that, from a very early age, I began to think I was dirty and that I was going to hell. Can you imagine what that feels like for a kid who was just learning to read and perform basic arithmetic? It was awful. And talk about guilt - I was a Baptist attending Catholic school! I prayed the silent prayer for God to change me every chance I got until I started attending college in New York. That's when common sense began to take hold and I realized that no amount of prayer would change me into something that wasn't natural to me. With my religious upbringing, I'd had the opportunity to study religious doctrine. But I learned from different perspectives, from Catholic Mass on Fridays to Baptist services on Sundays to vacation Bible school in the summer to Bible study with a Jehovah's Witness as a teenager. As I got older I began to realize that all these people and institutions interpreted the Bible somewhat differently. I had a sort of epiphany: the Bible was about the lessons you learned, not about the events or words. When I became old enough, intelligent enough and logical enough to discern the difference between metaphor and reality, everything changed. I realized that Jonah living in the belly of a whale was a parable written in the same vein as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saying that he had "been to the mountaintop." Neither Jonah nor King had actually been to those places. They were metaphors for lessons for those of us who cared to absorb them. So many of us, especially in the black community and in churches, tend to think that religious teachings happened word for word as they were written in Scripture. I think that's naïve, even dangerous. That type of thinking - or non-thinking - keeps many religious people enslaved to beliefs that they haven't truly stepped back from and examined. That type of thinking causes people who are otherwise good to shun and ostracize young gay people. It causes people to want to control and change people who aren't like them. And who wants to be like someone else? Imagine if we had allowed Christian doctrines and teachings that supported slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women to pervade our society all the way up until the current moment. What kind of world would that be? Instead, we got on our knees, just as I did as a little boy, and prayed that slavery, segregation and the subjugation of women would end. In the United States, at least, those prayers have largely been realized. I'm no longer the member of any church but I do believe in a higher power. It's time for us, especially black people, to stop trying to pray the gay away and to get on our knees and start praying that the discrimination of gay people ends. What we're doing to our young gay people now is child abuse. It's plain old bigotry and hatred. And if African-Americans don't know what that feels like in America, I don't know who does. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Don Lemon. soundoff (4,733 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 Next »
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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@ Karl,
Love it....Does it make you feel good to call people names? The problem with this lifestyle is God NEVER meant for this to be.
This lifestyle Its wrong....you can't change the Bible to make it fit what you want or make your lifestyle seem like its okay.
Its a choice...period...Follow God...Ask God to work on changing you as a person...Turn from all sins...live your life as best as you can and not sin. You have to "die to self"...in other words you have to stop living this way and live for God.
Peace
Oh, please. You of all people claiming to know what God intends? God gave you a brain to use, and you're wasting it by remaining ignorant.
That's a bigger sin than being gay by a long shot. Get back to school, CW. You're an embarrassment to God and to this country.
the problem CW is that the bible is fool of fables. Do you believe that Alice actually existed or that she tumbled down the rabbit hole? If so then I believe Jesus existed and walked on water.
Please, Please stop the madness. This is so sad, Can you not just say, that I don't understand someone that is gay, rather than.pouring out your poisoned words. If you are not walking in another persons shoes then you have no right to tell another one of GOD'S children what is right for there life. We serve a great big GOD, that can handel anything... The scripture says that we are alll working out our OWN soul salvation. If and I am saying if a person is wrong leave it to the power of GOD's Holy Spirit to do what he need to do in thier life and not you or what you belive... Michael Jackson said it best "Start your change with the man in the mirror" Jesus said it greater" How can you even see to pull the splenter out of your brothers eye, when you have a plank in yours?" Learn to LOVE what you don't understand. It will help you Love yourself. Don, I celebrate you.. Do You!!! And Love you!
Therefore, a person could have many demons inside of them, and those demons are so powerful, a person could start to believe that they was born that way. Don, or anyone in his position has lost his battle with those demons for now
It is so choice, just like when you choose to eat chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Hello! visually, you can see he was born black, just like he was also born a human being. What you do with your body is indeed a choice.
I admire your courage to come out Don, but being GAY is a personal choice. I don't have any problem with gay people, but I will never support gay marriage.
It's not a choice. I guess Don decided to be black too. Moron
@Karl you need to shut up, He can be gay if he wants its his choice not ours or gods
Matt 12: 43-45
When and unclean spirit comes out of a man (woman, man, child, etc) it passes through parched places in search of a resting-place, and finds none. (when a demon is removed) 44. Then it says, ' I will go back to my house out of which I moved' (or was expelled) and on arriving it finds it unoccupied but swept clean and adorned..
This is what many see as faith; a religious upbringing. So, while he knew something about God, Don has never known God.
Since Bible precepts are inconvenient for Don, he simply dismisses them.
The truth is that Don has never trusted God, perhaps never had the opportunity to see God as anything more than a far off rule maker.
Don was simply putting the cart before the horse.
If a person does not first understand their need for salvation, their need to connect with their Creator, then everything else is going through the motions.
Jesus said that we must be born again, and Don has never experienced this.
Because he has no understanding of the Living God, he dismisses and discounts God,and His power.
Truly, nothing is impossible with God.
Don's struggle with sin is certainly not original, we have all sinned.
God certainly can change Don, but it starts with being born again, not reciting a mantra. No one can defeat sin without being born again, and being filled with the Holy Spirit. It is His power in us that allows us to defeat sin in our lives. As always, it is our choice. Don is free to choose, but he cannot change God.
Your words are true.... good for your reply~ these things you share needed to be said to this writer~
Please, Please stop the madness. This is so sad, Can you not just say, that I don't understand someone that is gay, rather than.pouring out your poisoned words. If you are not walking in another persons shoes then you have no right to tell another one of GOD'S children what is right for there life. We serve a great big GOD, that can handel anything... The scripture says that we are alll working out our OWN soul salvation. If and I am saying if a person is wrong leave it to the power of GOD's Holy Spirit to do what he need to do in thier life and not you or what you belive... Michael Jackson said it best "Start your change with the man in the mirror" Jesus said it greater" How can you even see to pull the splenter out of your brothers eye, when you have a plank in yours?" Learn to LOVE what you don't understand. It will help you Love yourself. Don, I celebrate you.. Do You!!
The Bible contains six admonishments to gays and 362 admonishments to str8s. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love str8 people. It's just that they need more supervision.
When the Bible (or any other book) is HAND PENNED by God himself (herself) then I will follow it to the letter. Until then, I will read it just as any other book written by man. And edited by man.
Sin is man-made to make people feel guilty into behaving a certain way.
Guess you skipped the part of the bible regarding the 10 commandments and Moses.
Teddy – still written by a MAN!
@Teddy
"Guess you skipped the part of the bible regarding the 10 commandments and Moses."
I guess you skipped the part where the 10 commandments were borrowed from the Egyptian book of the dead and the lack evidence of Moses every existing.
Thanks Lone! 🙂
Still the word of the lord.
Really Teddy? You're missing my point entirely... Its all still penned by a human being. Still under the influence of HUMAN THOUGHT, and human actions.
My point, should you need clarification, is that NO HOLY BOOK, be it Bible, Koran, Conversations with God, etc... is truly GOD's word, because it was physically written by man, and edited by MAN. And that MAN carries with it a pre-conceived set of ideas.
@ Karl
@ Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son
@ Guest
See my comments to you on page 38
Why are you still here? weren't you supposed to be taken up into the heavens on the 21of May? LOL
I'd like to know why I should care about your comments, you putz. You are a hypocrite. You're stupid. You are uneducated and moronic.
Lookitup – sure I believe in evil and good – By your reasoning if the Devil can corrupt and he does, does that mean God is too impotent to communicate he nature, law, and grace. I believe He has and too many prefer a God of their own making rather than letting Him speak for himself. Tell me the scriptures from one cover to the other do not call men to repent of this behavior? God has spoken, take it up with Him.
WOW, after all this time, I actually thought CNN was fair when it come to posting a your comments. CNN has pulled the "Comment awaiting Moderation" response on me. Way to go CNN, you have just proven to me that "FAUX NEWS" is right sometimes.
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? ~Ernest Gaines
For years I prayed that I would be delivered from my drunken letcherous life style. I found that until I could see my Jesus for who He is and what He did dying for me on a cross and the suffering He endured, then my heart began to change. I still have a inner longing at times for drink and women other than my wife but I look to the cross. I had to put feet to my faith and surround myself with loving brothers in Christ who support me and yes, pray with me. I can't change you or myself but through the power of the Holy Spirit 1 Peter 5:10 says, "The God of all grace who has called you through the tender mercies of Christ, after you have suffered for a while, will perfect, strengthen, establish and confirm you." This is foolishness to those who are perishing but the word of salvation to those who have ears and a heart to recieve. It is a faith thing. There is no sin greater than another, sin is sin but the only sin that leads to eternal seperation from God is denying Jesus as your personal Lord and saviour. Once you trully see Him as God in the flesh then with all your heart you allow Him to conform you to His image and abandon the sin we are all born with. Then you can bless those who are suffering from what burdened you. God bless you all.
Great post and I commend you on your sobriety. Your post is a great example of accepting your sins and letting God guide you to a better life and an open gate to eternity
He knew he was gay at 4-5?!?! What a load of bs! Kids that age don't even know the real meaning of the term... especially during the time when he was that age. Even today, the term is thrown around by kids as an insult whether you're really gay or not. Why does CNN think people actually care reading about people problems in life. We all have our demons... work them out on your own!
didn't know that being Gay was having a Demon, Thanks for the heads up, moron
Derek, I knew that I liked girls by age 3. I don't think it had anything to do with demons either. Just saying.
WOW, a lot of hate out there. Didn't God and Jesus teach LOVE ONE ANOTHER, and Judge lest ye be judged!??!?!
I believe its love the sinner, hate the sin.
To Guest, why do you assume its not?
It's sad that so many people have gone through so much due to the ignorance of others but a time is coming.It may not be 5 or 10 or even 20yrs from now but it's coming.More and more people are are learning and teaching that being gay is not only not a choice but that it's ok.
@Jenny, why bother posting such blasphemy on here? Even if you don't believe in the God of the Bible, and have no respect for Jesus, wisdom would keep you from typing those blasphemous words. Obviously you lack wisdom. I'm praying for your lost soul.
Please, Please stop the madness. This is so sad, Can you not just say, that I don't understand someone that is gay, rather than.pouring out your poisoned words. If you are not walking in another persons shoes then you have no right to tell another one of GOD'S children what is right for there life. We serve a great big GOD, that can handel anything... The scripture says that we are alll working out our OWN soul salvation. If and I am saying if a person is wrong leave it to the power of GOD's Holy Spirit to do what he need to do in thier life and not you or what you belive... Michael Jackson said it best "Start your change with the man in the mirror" Jesus said it greater" How can you even see to pull the splenter out of your brothers eye, when you have a plank in yours?" Learn to LOVE what you don't understand. It will help you Love yourself. Don, I celebrate you.. Do You!!
So sad that the morals in this country have gone...
Yea, but who really cares about this whole article anyway though?
Apparently, you do.
BINGO!!!!
This article resambles article from Soviet magazines in the 20-s and 30-s. Soviet periodic in that time was full of stories about people who dinied their past, their family, and faith in the name of Communist future.
Epic Fail
And gay men were criminals, and gay women simply didn't exist. Lots of things changed...