On Tuesday we featured a guest My Take from Christian author Dannah Gresh: There’s nothing brief about a hookup.
Gresh encourages young people to abstain from sex because of her religious values but also presented a neuroscientific case against casual sex:
Casual sex is happening. We shouldn’t ignore it. That’s especially true of the faith community. But when we talk about it, we should use science. There’s nothing biologically brief about a hookup.
There was plenty of discussion about the post, which has fetched more than 600 comments so far. Here's a sampling:
Dannah, thank you for posting this. This is the kind of stuff that needs to be discussed by Christians and non-Christians alike because it is true regardless of your religion.
I think she really overreaches with her conclusions, and it's her faith that leads her to do it. The idea that you will have difficulty forming a bond with your eventual life partner because you are actively addicted to a number of previous partners at the same time is utterly ridiculous. I had about 10-12 partners before I met my wife and we have been happily married for 21 years. I have fond memories of my life before I met my wife and wouldn't change anything (except for a few mistakes on my part). My wife and I have had no problem "bonding" emotionally or otherwise.
Excellent article. The more we look the more we find that science and actual life experience reinforces the plan that God set in motion.
I appreciate the author's honest "full disclosure" and while I'm sure that causes the article to be biased, I do not feel that it discredits it.
This is a your mileage may vary thing, from my experience and observation.
I'm at the point where I'm not looking for random hookups, but I do love each of my partners. Yes, partners.
I can't be with each one all the time, based on our different life situations. But I do want to talk each one of them, chat with each one of them about their day, their hobbies, political views, etc. I want to hold hands with each one of them, spend quiet time with each, and be with each one whenever it's possible. And they want the same things with me.
I also know people for whom there is "the one" that they've found and they're happy.
So what do you do when it's too late to be abstinent?? I agree that some people are able to have random hookups and not feel attached, I know many people that have. I am not one of those people. I have had some random hook ups too but I always felt guilty or just regretted it after, either because I was hoping it would lead to at least dating for a while or just because I wish I hadn't done it to begin with. What are people like me supposed to do now that it's too late???
I don't see anything wrong with two consenting people engaging in some fun with "no strings attached". Unfortunately, most college kids are woefully unprepared for what the college environment is like. We don't prepare them for the level of freedom and indulgence they experience. I've had my own phase of random hookups and the sad reality is that someone always ends up getting hurt, either me or my partner. I wish I could communicate to younger people that ultimately, it really isn't worth the heartache.
Thanks for the comments. Feel free to keep the conversation going here or in the original post.