Your Take: Rethinking the hookup culture
June 1st, 2011
01:02 PM ET

Your Take: Rethinking the hookup culture

On Tuesday we featured a guest My Take from Christian author Dannah Gresh: There’s nothing brief about a hookup.

Gresh encourages young people to abstain from sex because of her religious values but also presented a neuroscientific case against casual sex:

Casual sex is happening. We shouldn’t ignore it. That’s especially true of the faith community. But when we talk about it, we should use science. There’s nothing biologically brief about a hookup.

There was plenty of discussion about the post, which has fetched more than 600 comments so far. Here's a sampling:

Dannah, thank you for posting this. This is the kind of stuff that needs to be discussed by Christians and non-Christians alike because it is true regardless of your religion.

I think she really overreaches with her conclusions, and it's her faith that leads her to do it. The idea that you will have difficulty forming a bond with your eventual life partner because you are actively addicted to a number of previous partners at the same time is utterly ridiculous. I had about 10-12 partners before I met my wife and we have been happily married for 21 years. I have fond memories of my life before I met my wife and wouldn't change anything (except for a few mistakes on my part). My wife and I have had no problem "bonding" emotionally or otherwise.

Excellent article. The more we look the more we find that science and actual life experience reinforces the plan that God set in motion.

I appreciate the author's honest "full disclosure" and while I'm sure that causes the article to be biased, I do not feel that it discredits it.

This is a your mileage may vary thing, from my experience and observation.

I'm at the point where I'm not looking for random hookups, but I do love each of my partners. Yes, partners.

I can't be with each one all the time, based on our different life situations. But I do want to talk each one of them, chat with each one of them about their day, their hobbies, political views, etc. I want to hold hands with each one of them, spend quiet time with each, and be with each one whenever it's possible. And they want the same things with me.

I also know people for whom there is "the one" that they've found and they're happy.

So what do you do when it's too late to be abstinent?? I agree that some people are able to have random hookups and not feel attached, I know many people that have. I am not one of those people. I have had some random hook ups too but I always felt guilty or just regretted it after, either because I was hoping it would lead to at least dating for a while or just because I wish I hadn't done it to begin with. What are people like me supposed to do now that it's too late???

I don't see anything wrong with two consenting people engaging in some fun with "no strings attached". Unfortunately, most college kids are woefully unprepared for what the college environment is like. We don't prepare them for the level of freedom and indulgence they experience. I've had my own phase of random hookups and the sad reality is that someone always ends up getting hurt, either me or my partner. I wish I could communicate to younger people that ultimately, it really isn't worth the heartache.

Thanks for the comments. Feel free to keep the conversation going here or in the original post.

- CNN Belief Blog Co-Editor

Filed under: Belief • Christianity • Faith & Health • Sex • Teens • Trends • United States

soundoff (149 Responses)
  1. frank

    The supersti.tious guilt and confusion the barbaric emotionally stunted baby jesus cult poisons its children with is all bad. Dirty $ex is all good. More dirty $ex, less cannibalism, zombies, misogyny, child sacrifice, blood curses on the innocent, racism, ludicrous ghost stories, and incoherent prophesies that will never EVER come true.

    June 1, 2011 at 6:11 pm |
    • John Richardson

      Um, ok, we'll get right on that ...

      June 1, 2011 at 8:40 pm |
  2. Ed

    Bottom line what 2 consenting adults do in private is between them and God. It none of anyone else's business. It may be a moral subject but its still not your business unless your directly involved so live and let live.

    June 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm |
    • Timetraveler

      Correction: what two consenting adults do in private is between them, god, the easter bunny, santa claus, the tooth fairy, big foot, ra, shiva, allah, the flying spaghetti monster, the invisible pink unicorn, thor, zeus, apollo, hercules, hermes, athena and about 1800 other made up characters. Get your facts right.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:06 pm |
    • Ed

      and you wonder why most christians just condemn this type of behavior on the blogs. If one of us say live and let llive but has the nerve to mention god we get hit by a troll.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm |
    • No One Is Safe

      correction: what 2 consenting adults do in private is between them. period. end of statement, paragraph, and story. i don't want anyone who's not participating hanging out in my bedroom, watching what i do with my grilf... not the "moral majority" halfwits, not sarah "brainless tart" palin, not even god. it's no-one else's business what we do together.

      June 3, 2011 at 11:22 am |
  3. Pat

    The term "casual s3x" is intrinsically judgmental at best and cultural-fascism at worst.
    An observer declares it "casual" because it did not meet his/her cultural expectations about social ceremony.
    To participants who do not share those culturally-derived ceremonial norms, it is not 'causal'. They are operate exclusively under the ceremonial norms that govern their cultural context. For them, other norm-systems are abusive and bankrupt.

    June 1, 2011 at 5:44 pm |
    • Frogist

      Good point, Pat.

      June 2, 2011 at 12:22 pm |
  4. blake

    Very sad that Christ followers are behaving no differently than the lost. Not really following are they?

    June 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm |
    • Timetraveler

      Weren't you supposed to get raptured a week and a half ago? I guess you weren't chosen. Oh well, tough beans. But I'm sure satan will have a nice comfy special spot reserved for you.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:10 pm |
  5. Sao


    June 1, 2011 at 5:31 pm |
    • David, CA

      Sanctimonious much?

      June 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm |
  6. jason

    nothing new here.....atheists hate and will attack anything they mentions morality or God. I've met my fair share of them in life (and my roommate is currently one) and have no desire for that. Tbh it's rather sad bc most of them can't figure out why all the se_x/bo0z/drugs etc doesn't fulfill them

    PS Im not trying to persuade anyone of believing or disbelieving here bc thats futile is only that individual has the choice to honestly search their heart or not, certainly a comment post from a Christian won't do that.

    June 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm |
    • Dan

      Don't worry, no one is changed by your terrible straw man.

      June 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm |
    • His...whatever

      jason why must you accuse atheists of attacking anything moral?
      they can be more moral than you are
      the italian mafia were and are some of the largest donors to the catholic church ~ certianily no morality there
      all the "christian" preachers who sodomize young men, cavort with wh0res, steal all the manna ~ high morals because they are forgiven ~ again and again and again and again ...........ad naseumn...............
      outside of the mormons, which the mainstream christians do not really believe are christians, you are a member of one of the smallest religions on earth ~ and you smugly condem 9.9/10ths of the world to burn in hell forever.
      are you a mean spirited person?
      do you hate the devil or pray for him?

      June 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm |
    • prgmr6

      hypocrisy at its finest, christians are calling other ppl out for being "non" moral, rofl. Im atheist and more "moral" than my neighbors who go to church every Sunday or synagogue on Sat. Thats the problem with plenty of religious ppl, they go to a building on Sundays with well dressed ppl and think they are magically moral for the rest of the week. I'm a humanist 7 days a week, try that sometime.

      June 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm |
    • Nonimus

      So you felt it necessary to come on this blog and denigrate Atheists for their alleged hate, immorality, blasphemy, se.x, bo0z, drugs, and lack of fullfillment in their lives.

      Since I know you wouldn't just be expressing your own hatred, thank you for such an insightful comment. We rarely get such reasoned, thoughtful, and well-researched theses on the nature of naturalistic existence and it is very much appreciated.

      June 1, 2011 at 5:57 pm |
    • Ed


      I have to agree with the atheist here I didn't see anything in the article says atheist were the only ones doing this yet you felt the need to attack atheist is your comment . Whose the one acting hateful here you or the atheist?

      June 1, 2011 at 6:03 pm |
    • oussu

      Sadly, atheists tend to be more morally grounded than religious folks in my experience.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm |
    • John Richardson

      Ed! You da man! Fair mindedness is not to be found in abundance on either "side" around here, but it CAN be found. Your an example!

      June 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm |
    • Jon

      Nothing new here - a christian just misinterpreting atheists expressing their opinions as a form of hate instead of actually taking what they have to say seriously.

      June 2, 2011 at 10:55 am |
    • Jon

      The statement "Atheists will hate any ..." is a prejudiced statement, because it (falsely) asserts that all in a particular group do the same bad thing. Guess what, prejudice is a form of hate, bro - look in the mirror.

      June 2, 2011 at 10:58 am |
  7. teepee

    I wish the powers that be over CNN could get this message: You need to stop calling yourself a news network...you are more like a peeping tom network...this is not news but gossip. America is SO MUCH MORE than what you choose to report People helping people. advise on how to survive this recession. ect ect...you can't stop talking about Palin...and tried your best to dirty up Obama 3 years ago...you start things you can't finish...like bringing out all the people haters in the land with topics that don't even matter...shame shame CNN for shame...

    June 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm |
    • Neeneko

      Peeping tom?
      More like new-themed-entertainment-product.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm |
    • Peter

      Even NPR is like this a lot now. It's inevitable between the internet and television. It only makes sense to appeal to the lowest common denominator. I'd hate to see the person who ONLY gets their news from CNN. The age of independent research in America is long gone.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm |
    • John Richardson

      All media outlets figure out some balance between "hard" news and "human interest" stories. As for NPR, well, I can remember a 1st person and thoroughly insipidly self-absorbed account of some woman's first naturist experience at least as far back as the early 90s that was parading as "news" on one of their news programs (I believe All Things Considered, but don't recall exactly). It's a legit topic handled in an interesting, informative and dignified manner in all manner of relevant media, but this was an idiotic giggle piece. NPR is far from the worst news outlet, but it's hardly the bastion of high minded sophistication some of its toadier fand have made it out to be over the years.

      June 1, 2011 at 8:53 pm |
    • Eric

      I saw the Shill(er) interview and i thought it sets a new standard for toadyness. Too bad NPR had to vet the donation first. The luncheon had gone so well.

      June 1, 2011 at 10:59 pm |
  8. nobucks bill

    And who's idea of god do we use when reaching these "scientific" conclusions? Oh, stupid me, the ones who know who the real god is.

    June 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm |
    • ScottK

      The real God is obviously the one that the most people believe in right? Like a democracy...

      So the score is...
      2.1 billion Christians
      1.6 billion Muslims
      1.1 billion Atheists/secular/nonreligious
      900 million Hindu

      So I guess Christians win at electing their God as the true God.

      Of course that would also mean that the world was flat at one time...since the majority of people believed it. And the black plague was caused by sin, and the world was created in six days...

      June 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm |
    • Really?

      no way, you read and learn for yourself......The scripture say to keep testing that what you are hearing is the truth. There is a lot of NON truth is religions.

      June 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm |
    • ScottK

      I was of course being sarcastic. Of course there is a lot of "NON truth" in religions, they are brimming with it.

      June 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm |
  9. Celeste

    While I'm not particularly religious, I did think it was a good article. I think there is some truth to a lot of what she said, even though she was motivated to do so because of religious reasons. I think there is a middle ground between the two sides. You don't have to be a virgin until you are married, yet on the other hand, it is not a good idea to hookup with random strangers – for a whole host of reasons.

    I recently graduated from college, and I think the hookup culture is kind of disturbing. I had roommates who slept with people who they didn't even know their name. I also saw numerous 'friends with benefits' arrangements turn into nightmares. While, I don't subscribe to the 'must wait for marriage' idea, I am definitely glad that I didn't hookup with every drunk frat boy that handed me a cup of jungle juice.

    I think its a good thing that there is a trend of college students that are rethinking hookups, and at least waiting for a more substantial relationship to have $ex. Whether it is waiting for marriage, a serious relationship or at least waiting for until after a few dates with a guy/girl – it is an improvement and a sign of maturity.

    June 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm |
  10. His...whatever

    I get totally fogged up when people use "science" and "god" in the same sentence.

    What if the christians are wrong and the cannibals of new guinea are right?

    All you people are going to hell for not eating your next door neighbor!

    June 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm |
    • What....ever

      Believe it or not, we are all going to h e l l. It is Jesus who saves us from H e l l.

      Put all arguments aside, Christianity boils down to Faith. Faith in God. If you don't want to believe, then don't -it is your choice and no one is forcing you to believe. But just remember, if we Christians are right, be prepared to give an account to God himself someday explaining why you are wrong.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm |
    • His...whatever

      ~ i know ~
      your loving good is going to send us all to burn forever in hell

      sounds like serious abondement issues ` simple short term therapy could make god a more civil person
      and let go of some of this hostility

      June 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm |
    • Peter

      I'm always just a little embarassed by this argument when it's used. Faith, even lack of it, is such a personal thing. To understand anothers' beliefs, you have to live in their shoes. Illogical or logical, there is no mathematical equation to describe how everyone feels, thinks, believes, because that's all our life boils down to. And I refuse to be some dick's equation on why I'm an atheist, just as much as I'm sure Christians do.

      I believe fully that there is no God or gods. It bothers me naught to know I'm the only one in my family who believes so. From a scientific standpoint, I know that, with our current level of technology and with our rather stable position on Earth, it will be a long time coming before God can be proven or disproven. Science does not seek to disprove God, but simply to prove reality. I am 99.9999999% sure that there is no God, but as someone who likes to use logic and rationality in all facets of life, I know that he is still one of many outcomes that could possibly happen. After all, magic is only science we haven't figured out yet.

      The problem with the argument "well, these people could be right so eat your neighbor now!" is that you're arguing from the standpoint of exclusive premises. You assume that one may be wrong or false, and therefore this other one which is similar (a faith) is also false, and that your conclusion is right. Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't make it false, and doesn't make yours true. It's ludicrous and illogical. A certain amount of confidence is good for your position, but without a hint of doubt you lack credibility.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm |
    • His...whatever

      peter........................logic in a discussion about god?
      one hopes that you pick up a definition of sarcasm while aquiring your knowledge of logic.
      i am not arguing my point.
      where god is involved i have no point i am neutral
      i was mocking christians ~ they are such a smug group, all the other major religions eventually let non-believers into "heaven" ~ but not the christians ~ everyone else burns forever.
      as i said ~ simple abondement issues ~ stems from all those eons of being alone before making the earth~remember~the earliest bibles had god only making the earth ~ once the solar system and the universe were discovered then they were added to the creation myths that abound.
      did you know baby jesus had immaculate po00p - it did not smell !

      June 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm |
    • John Richardson

      Wrong, Peter. It is the religious who seem to think that the exclusive possibilities are no god or THEIR specific god. Not true.

      June 1, 2011 at 9:03 pm |
    • Really?


      June 3, 2011 at 3:21 pm |
  11. David

    I guess that means that human neurology changes across cultures.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm |
    • His...whatever

      god changes it...

      June 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm |
  12. TOM

    Guys are in full copulation mode at this age and women are in full baby factory mode at this age so hook ups just kinda make sense from a genetic perspective which means that guys will almost always think with their trowsers first.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:44 pm |
    • Ian

      Sounds like women are too, by your logic.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm |
    • ScottK

      Here's some interesting biblical stuff to think about:

      The bible claims Adam was created by God and would not have died had he not sinned. So that means Adam would have had plenty of time to get married and have children.
      And yet...
      The average age males reach puberty – 12
      The average age women become fertile – 12.5
      The average lifespan for people living over 2500 years ago – males 33 / women 29

      It would make far more sense to put two and two together and understand that evolving an early starting age for procreating would help continue our species, esspecially when facing lifespans as short at 30 years. You would barely be able to see your son or daughter married before you were kicking the bucket. We have developed all these wonderful mechanisms to increase the survivability of humans and yet religion has constantly fought our "human nature" with guilt, shame, lie's and abuse.

      June 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm |
  13. P

    This is old news. They should be covering the Elementary School hook-up culture.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm |
  14. HOOKED

    For those who disagree with her findings I mean read into it yourself. There is a great book written by 2 NON christians on the emotional roller coaster of "hooking" up Our brain has more to do with it than anything. All the chemicals that are released such as dopamine "feel good" chemical making us want more and more not even taking into consideration the consequences. I know it is hard to keep it in your pants but you need read about the harm you might be causing maybe not to yourself but the partner you only plan on having for one more good time and leaving them to deal with the emotions of losing that special bond.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm |
    • His...whatever

      any "real" scinetist will tell you that they are unable to really even measure the amounts of all the neuro transmitters let alone state for a fact that the do this or that
      people bandy about words like dopamine as if they exist in a vacuun.
      science does not even know YET how dopamine, serotonin, gaba,glutamate, epinephrine, norepinrphrine, and hundreds of otheres even interact for sure.

      one thing is for sure ~ we are not waiting for god to tell us.
      god people are so fully polluted in their beliefs that all their "science" is checkered with the conclusions being foregone conclusions as to what god did and did not do
      did you know mary and joseph were not even married?

      June 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm |
    • ScottK

      "All the chemicals that are released such as dopamine "feel good" chemical making us want more and more not even taking into consideration the consequences." Sounds like an additction to me.

      So you are saying, don't do it because it might make you feel good and make you want to do it again without considering the consequences.

      Let's look at those for someone who is being safe and using protection which eliminates 99% of the physical risks and leave you with just the emotional stuff like depression. Where does a lot of the stress and depression come from? Hmmm, let's see, being told by your family your going to h e l l never feels good, neither does having people call you a sl u t, dirty, sinner and failure, often by people who are just jealous because you hooked up with someone they wanted to hook up with. I think I see a trend on where m a s sive amounts of the problem with hooking up comes from... yep thats right!! Judgemental A $ $ holes who attempt to force their own version of morality on others.

      June 1, 2011 at 7:58 pm |
  15. Mark Sloman

    The funny thing is that these Christians only turn to science when it suits them. It makes me kinda sick.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm |
    • P

      Praise Jebus! Science is sooo stupid. Me and my sunday school teacher were talkin about how dumb those "scientists" are the other day while I was charging my Chevy Volt. Then we looked up an online bible on the interwebz and broke some bread that I made in the microwave. Man science is dumb!

      June 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm |
    • ISITME?

      Its funny that atheist only turn to themselves and others for the "desires", never once acknowledging the creator of all things. I will continue to say this...Atheist only have a problem with "certain" aspects of the bible, and usually it is about "fornication". The silly wabbits want to fornicate and they dont want anyone to criticize them, while they constantly keep their pants down like undisciplined children. HOWEVER, when it comes to atheists believing God is the Creator and bigger than they are, that deflates their egos and they cant handle it. The silly wabbits want all the attention for themselves and their "followers". The real issue with all of this is that these same silly wabbits have no problem with commands of the bible that tell us Christians not to kill, steal, etc. The silly wabbits want to be covered by THOSE particular laws and dont have a problem with Christian values when it comes to those, but anything perverted, well, you can say they just tuck in their ears and hop away, the silly wabbits.

      June 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm |
    • David, CA

      @ ISITME- lot of assumptions you're making there. Lots of untrue ones at that. You are part of the problem.

      June 1, 2011 at 5:59 pm |
    • Nonimus

      This is the basic egotistical blinders that Theists seem to wear all the time. If the Bible were not used as justification for infringing on other people rights, e.g. science education, gay marriage, stem cell research, etc., then Atheists wouldn't care what the Bible says about s.ex. But Christians many times think it is all about rebellion against God.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:25 pm |
    • tallulah13

      ISITME? Are you that ignorant or just that rude? Do you actually know any atheists, or are you making nasty and baseless claims about strangers just because you don't agree with their personal beliefs (or lack thereof)? You've certainly said more about your own character than you have about anyone else's.

      June 2, 2011 at 1:22 am |
    • PRISM 1234

      ISITME? is not really ignorant , nor rude, but in his/her own peculiar way has spelled it out, just about the way it is! LOL! ....
      Those people which ISITME? describes have hard times with someone sticking it to them... yet, they never refrain themselves from doing it to others in bluntly rude and derogatory ways!

      Way to go, ISITME, tell it as it is, because even to those who are steeped in the bliss of their ignorance, thinking they are liberated in it, the truth can reveal to them what real liberty is!!

      June 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm |
    • Artist

      ISITME?, put down the jesus juice and get help

      Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses, and to behave normally in social situations.
      As the illness continues, psychotic symptoms develop:
      • False beliefs or thoughts that are not based in reality (delusions)
      • Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)

      June 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm |
    • Stevie7

      " when it comes to atheists believing God is the Creator and bigger than they are, that deflates their egos and they cant handle it. "
      Actually, I find the exact opposite. Religion keeps telling us how special we are. Until science stepped in and told us otherwise, religion told us we were the center of the universe. Many religions tells us that the entire universe was created just for us. This is the height of egoism! The atheists that I know, however, need only look up at the sky to see not only things which are far bigger than us, but to also realize and appreciate our truly insignificant nature within the universe.

      June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm |
    • PRISM 1234

      @ "artist"
      How would YOU know what's normal and what's not?! There is only half of you alive, since by your own doings you have denied your own soul and caused it to flee from you! And then you think you can tell someone what is real, and what's not, and what;'s normal and what's not?!
      You and others like yourself are NOT CAPABLE of knowing, understanding or discerning what is real true and normal!

      June 3, 2011 at 1:30 pm |
  16. Melanie

    So appreciate a scientific backing from the faith community! It seems common sense that these actions have consequences, however we're not always sure what those consequences look like.
    Thanks so much for sharing your views and your research, I support you!

    June 1, 2011 at 3:32 pm |
  17. J.

    College kids need to be cautioned that what they do in their 20's can come back to bite them. Just ask all the girls who ever did girls gone wild...I bet they regret the entire world being able to see them in their birthday suite or engaging in activities with them selves or other people. With camera phones, web cams and the many sites that are willing to pay these women to film themselves hooking up,
    they really need to understand what it could do to their futures.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:27 pm |
    • artemis

      What is girls gone wild?

      June 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm |
    • P

      I know some girls that were in Girls Gone Wild – and they are always bragging about it. One even showed it to her kids.

      June 2, 2011 at 10:13 am |
    • Frogist

      Why is it that these discussions about se-x always come down to "girls" should be careful about what they do cuz it will come back to bite them? How many men are cautioned about "Guys Gone Wild" or doing pr0n or sleeping around because it will harm their future? None. Because it's the women who are looked down on because of some ridiculous old-fashioned double standard about a woman being a wh0re if she isn't perceived as perfectly chaste. Isn't it time we get past this?

      June 2, 2011 at 12:42 pm |
  18. Brian

    College students are adults. Let them live freely. If they make mistakes, that's life. We have no standing to be paternalistic, providing our own moral or life prescriptions. Let go of the marionette.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm |
    • carizzo

      @ Brian
      "College students are adults. Let them live freely. If they make mistakes, that's life. We have no standing to be paternalistic, providing our own moral or life prescriptions. Let go of the marionette."

      There's a big difference between offering wisdom/advice and throwing a young person into a bad situation and expecting them to make good decisions. "That's life" is not a good enough answer for me. If college students are receptive to being educated by professors, mentored by employers during internships or influenced by friends, why should other adults (even parents) not be permitted to offer up valuable information to help that person make decisions that will impact the rest of their lives (for good or for bad)? With this being such a personal area of one's life, I'm very thankful that I had influences who encouraged me to protect my dignity, safety & confidence instead of learning life's hard lessons simply because I was "old enough" to make my own mistakes and be forced to then learn from them. Thank God you weren't my parent! Who knows what you would have let me learn the hard way!

      June 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm |
    • Reality

      Tis not free when we our insurance rates increase because of accidents caused by binge drinking, anti-biotics for curing casual hookup se-x/STDs, abortions and/or kids born out of wedlock.

      Time to rethink a college education and what parents and taxpayers end up paying for. For example, do we need liberal art colleges? These colleges can easily be replaced by on-line colleges for a lot less money. And are co-ed dorms really such a good idea? Just too da-mn easy for casual hookups and the potential damages from such activities?

      June 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm |
    • Nonimus

      "Tis not free when we our insurance rates increase because of accidents caused by binge drinking, anti-biotics for curing casual hookup se-x/STDs, abortions and/or kids born out of wedlock."
      This type of thinking scares me. Forgoing the protection of rights due to the supposed cost/damage to the greater society. "... that way madness lies..."

      June 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm |
  19. Reality

    The dangers of casual/hookup se-x or non-casual se-x/marriage if you do not practice safe s-ex: PREGNANCIES/ ABORTIONS AND/OR ST-Ds

    For those who partake some science and statistics of epidemic proportions:

    from the CDC-2006

    "Se-xually transmitted diseases (S-TDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. While substantial progress has been made in preventing, diagnosing, and treating certain S-TDs in recent years, CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.1 In addition to the physical and psychological consequences of S-TDs, these diseases also exact a tremendous economic toll. Direct medical costs as-sociated with S-TDs in the United States are estimated at up to $14.7 billion annually in 2006 dollars."

    And from: http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2011/02/20/yes-o-ral-se-x-is-se-x-and-it-can-boost-cancer-risk/?npt=NP1

    "Yes, o-ral se-x is se-x, and it can boost cancer risk-

    Here's a crucial message for teens: O-ral se-x carries many of the same risks as v-a-ginal s-ex, including human papilloma virus, or HPV. And HPV may now be overtaking tobacco as the leading cause of o-ral cancers in America in people under age 50.

    "Adolescents don’t think or-al se-x is something to worry about," said Bonnie Halpern-Felsher professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco. "They view it as a way to have intimacy without having 'se-x.'"

    And this: "CON-TRACEPTIVE METHOD CHOICE (Guttmacher Insti-tute data)

    Cont-raceptive method use among U.S. women who practice con-traception, 2002

    Method........ No. of users (in 000s)........ % of users
    Pill ..................11,661 .................. 30.6
    Male condom ...6,841................... 18.0 "

    The pill fails to protect women 8.7% during the first year of use (

    i.e. 0.087 (failure rate)
    x 62 million (# child bearing women)
    x 0.62 ( % of these women using contraception )
    x 0.306 ( % of these using the pill) =

    1,020,000 unplanned pregnancies
    during the first year of pill use.

    (And the abortion rate in the US is? 1,000,000/year)

    For male condoms (failure rate of 17.4 and 18% use level)

    1,200,000 unplanned pregnancies during the first year of male condom use.

    The Gut-tmacher Inst-itute notes also that the perfect use of the pill should result in a 0.3% failure rate
    (35,000 unplanned pregnancies) and for the male condom, a 2% failure rate (138,000 unplanned pregnancies).

    o Conclusion: The failures of the widely used birth "control" methods i.e. the Pill and male con-dom have led to the large rate of abortions and S-TDs in the USA. Men and women must either recognize their responsibilities by using the Pill or con-doms properly and/or use other safer methods in order to reduce the epidemics of abortion

    June 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm |
  20. Alfred Knight

    Even if someone will not use religion as reason to justify that its just gonna be a past time, hookup by itself is synonymous to indecency. Some may deem it as acceptable for two consenting adults for fun but in the end, someone gets hurt, someone gets the guilt and someone gets wasted !!! I do not tend to imbue celibacy but there's always the right and proper time for everything.

    June 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm |
    • Artist

      "I do not tend to imbue celibacy but there's always the right and proper time for everything."
      Correct, generally you want to have a few drinks before you throw the idea of ho ok ing up out there. General rule of thu mb, talk to her for at least an hour over 2-3 drinks. Note this does not include the time seperating her from the "pa ck". They always have a protective bull d y ke type/ heavy friend in the "pa ck".

      June 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm |
    • Ian

      "there's always the right and proper time for everything"

      Yep. And the time and place for hooking up is called "college".

      June 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm |
    • Sy2502

      And we should all follow your personal idea of "decency"? Why?

      June 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm |
    • hehe101

      and if I'm right, college is where we go to get started discovering ourselves, what are limits are, and where we want to go in life. If it means having a hookup or two along the way, that's fine with me. Though personally there is no way I'm sleeping with a stranger. Maybe after the second week of dating, maybe.

      June 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm |
    • Jim Strathmeyer

      Wow, Alfred! Not everyone has the same bad experience you do! If I crash a car, it's not a reason for everyone to stop driving. You're just displaying the crazed mindset of the religious loon.

      June 1, 2011 at 6:46 pm |
1 2 3
About this blog

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.