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July 16th, 2011
04:00 PM ET
My Take: Casey Anthony and the challenge of forgiveness
By Patrick Wanis, Special to CNN The justice system is designed to prevent, punish and rehabilitate. But with Casey Anthony being acquitted of murdering her 2-year old daughter Caylee, many people are still full of rage and anger toward her, seeking revenge and claiming they want justice for what they continue to believe is her guilt. But does the anger, revenge and bitterness help bring back Caylee? What positive purpose might it serve? Does Casey Anthony’s case cry out for forgiveness, even if the court found her not guilty of murder?
When we feel injured we respond or react automatically with anger. When someone hurts us, we automatically want to hurt that person back. Because of the constant media coverage the Anthony trial garnered, many people - particularly mothers and women - felt a personal connection to the case. Their original motivation for justice for Caylee has turned into a desire for revenge. Casey Anthony's secret release Anger is not always a negative emotion. When someone is being attacked, you need anger to push you to action to protect the victim. It was anger and frustration that led to revolution in Egypt and that is fueling other uprisings in the Arab world. In fact, some people have used their anger to lead a petition for “Caylee’s Law,” which would make it a felony to wait more than 48 hours to report a missing child and a felony not to report the death of a child within two hours (though different versions have been proposed in different states). Casey did not report her missing daughter for 30 days. Such laws may represent a positive use of anger. But staying stuck in anger, bitterness, vindictiveness or a desire for revenge does not bring about positive results. As a human behavior expert and therapist, the most common denominator of the pain, mental and emotional affliction that I see people suffer is the lack of forgiveness - the anger and pursuit of revenge against mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle or self for something that someone did or didn’t do. There are surely limits to forgiveness, some say. Is Casey Anthony beyond the limit? The secret life of Casey Anthony It was the spring of 1944 when 10-year-old Eva Kor, her twin sister Miriam and her mother arrived in the concentration camp Auschwitz-Birkenau. Immediately, guards ripped both girls from their mother and they were never again to see her, their father or their older sisters. Shortly thereafter, in a sick bay, a doctor told Eva “You have just two weeks to live.” The doctor was Josef Mengele. He had just injected her with a lethal cocktail of bacteria as part of a barbaric experiment with twins. Eva had a strong immune system and survived but so, too, did the pain of her suffering. Her sister Miriam suffered an inexplicable disease from the injection of poison. Eva later tried to save her sister’s life by donating one of her own kidneys, but Miriam died in 1993. In January 1995, at the celebration of the 50th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, Kor brought along a doctor who worked alongside Josef Mengele. Eva read a confession of guilt from the doctor who accompanied her and then shocked the world press by saying “In my own name, I forgive all Nazis.” Casey Anthony appeals lying convictions Eva says forgiveness led to her to inner peace and healing and she has made speeches about forgiveness across the United States in front of school groups and organizations. She teaches that forgiveness freed her from victim status. “I felt as though an incredibly heavy weight of suffering had been lifted,” she has said. “I never thought I could be so strong… What the victims do does not change what happened. And the best thing about the remedy of forgiveness is that there are no side effects. And everybody can afford it.” Eva is featured in the Forgiveness Project, an effort that “encourages and empowers people to explore the nature of forgiveness and alternatives to revenge.” Most world religions promote forgiveness, an eventual end to demanding punishment or restitution. Love, forgiveness and compassion are primary teachings of Jesus. "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” Jesus said on the cross, asking God to forgive the people that were about to kill Him. Although there are many reasons we hold onto a lack of forgiveness, the pain, anger, revenge and rage only hurt us. But forgiveness sets us free. Even if Casey Anthony had been found guilty and were to be put to death, would that help Caylee or other living children? Would it truly free us in our hearts? Would our energy not be put to better use if we were to choose to help other children who are at this moment starving, homeless, at risk or in danger? What if the thousands of angry people devoted that energy to helping mothers and children who have been abused or battered? Look in your heart and ask yourself what effect the poison of anger and revenge have on you and your life. We have all wronged and we are all imperfect. Of course, murder is not the same as the wrongs that most of us commit. But if Jesus could ask God to forgive the people that were about to murder him and if a Holocaust survivor could forgive the people that poisoned her and tried to exterminate her family, then what holds you and I back from forgiving anyone? The next time you commit a wrongdoing, won’t you be saying “Please forgive me?” The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Patrick Wanis. soundoff (2,071 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 Next »
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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Editor's Note: Patrick Wanis, Ph.D. is a human behavior and relationship expert and therapist and author of 
Forgiving someone who can no longer inflict torture is entirely different from forgiving someone who will roam free to murder innocents again. Duh! PS This guy looks smarmy.
Let us all forgive and move on in our lives....AMEN!
Forgiveness is just another facet of 'belief'. And believing in something that has no foundation in truth or fact is the way that many deal with the complex world that we live in. However, both of these things are mitigated by 'THE TRUTH'. The truth was not found during those trials. A loophole was found and they jumped right through it. When the truth is found, then I may forgive her. But right now she seems to be reveling in the miscarriage of justice that occurred at the trial. If you don't want it to rent space in your head anymore, then forgive her. But if you want justice and truth, then you must abide with the thoughts that are provoked by this evil person, Casey Anthony.
how dare you compare casey anthony to those who suffered at the hands of the nazi's
I hope know one has have hurt your feelings because it looks like you would prefer them to suffer rather than being above it all and forgiving them.
Forgiveness is usually ask for after contriction, admission of guilt, apology and so forth; Casey Anthony has done none of these things.
Exactly the point.
Another one evaporated...
Casey will have to first forgive herself for what she did to Caylee. She has destroyed and severed all relationships within her own family. If her father/brother truly molested her, she should forgive them but have no relationship with them and try and find her own life, healing and establish new customs and healthy relationships. Her family appears to be more dysfunctional than most with dishonesty being dictated as the norm by her Mother. If Casey witnessed that growing up, it is no wonder that she lives in fantasy land and weaves tales to cover her own deficiencies and abberant behaviors. I hope that this girl gets help to deal with this. We cannot bring back Caylee but hopefully her Mother will be rehabilitated and have a somewhat normal life. I hope that she does not venture into motherhood for a long, long time. Perhaps best if she never ventures into Motherhood. Most girls cannot be teenage Mothers, they are still children themselves.
Please....stop repeating the fantasies that were conjured by her defense team during trial.....Casey was not abused.....she is on tape from the prison saying what a great Dad and Grandfather George Anthony is. There was no drowning, there was no abuse, just a lying, manipulative killer who walks free this evening.
Forgiving yourself is a manner of playing God. She better play human for a while and change her proven behavior, constant lying, if nothing else. Think the problems that would have been avoided if somewhere about three years ago she had said. "My beloved child drown and I panicked. Notice that there was evidence that this lying extended to her whole life pattern.
Finally, a sane post!
I think people need to be outraged. Who's getting mad to protect children? Who's going to SHOUT to be heart that things need to change. Our outrage is sparking the review of Caylee's law making it a crime not to report your children missing. So my anger will persist until laws are changed to protect our children. I could care less if her mother will be haunted for the rest of her life. Maybe then she'll have a small idea of the fear and suffering her daughter went through while Mommy decided to go party and not look for her. Yes I'm mad until things change!
there was a trial
RightTurnClyde....yes, there was a trial.....unfortunately with a Jury of Morons and so a killer walks free.
Your message here falls on deff ears to most of the people leaving their comments, I bet they never stood up for people in there own familys when something went wrong. but they are quick to judge someone they don't even know. Clean up your own back yards before throwing stones at others.
Doesn't this author believe in justice?
Forgiveness is a spiritual principal that I learned about outside of organized religion. When I forgive it is for me not for the offender and it is a process of working through the feelings of extreme anger, grief, etc. It sometimes take years or even decades to forgive-especially childhood wounds. That being said, I think the blogger is asking too much too soon. We have to allow ourselves to be where we are in the process of forgiving Casey Anthony and it is possible we may never forgive her. I'm actually having a harder time forgiving the jurors because in my opinion they did not use the brains god gave them. I'm going to go back and read "the shack" book again!
But–just a thought–what if she's really not guilty?
She IS not guilty IF the jury decided she is not guilty .. understand?
Doesn't matter what the jury of morons thinks....child is killed, duct tape over mouth and nose, dumped in swamp, mom parties, sleeps with boyfriend, and gets tattoo over 31 day period while grandparents desperately search for child, all while Casey lies and misleads everyone, including the police. Casey has car that smells of decomposition....said car is abandoned, is discovered with traces of chloroform and Caylee's hair in the trunk....and BTW, Casey was performing searches for chloroform on the internet (even though grandma tried to take the fall for that one, it was proven that Casey had to be performing those searches)...Casey, not one time, shows any pain over the loss of Caylee...she lies, manipulates, blames everyone but herself (including her parents), the prosecution presents a mountain of evidence (over 400 unique pieces of evidence) all pointing to ONE person.....and this jury says innocent? From what planet are they?
So like I said....doesn't matter what a jury of morons says....the rest of the thinking planet (those with brains evidently) all know that a cold-blooded killer walks free this evening. Do I wish her ill? No. Do I care about her safety....absolutely not.
She is guilty of lying and costing volunteers, police, the taxpayer hundreds of thousands. That was proven and she has not repented it. Repentance is not merely regretting you were caught either.
Many people are full of rage and anger period. Full of murderous anger and ignorance.
Sure glad you had no say in the verdict. Your the one with no brains. get a life and tend to your own business. Children should stay away from your vial mouth.
He's asking us to forgive an innocent person. I'm confused. Any soul that wraps their life around Casey's in the coming days and weeks, needs to get a life. She's a free woman, convicted of nothing more than lying to the police. Get over it, accept it, move on and concentrate on living your own precious lives, folks. What, you want to pin a Scarlet Letter on her? Move on, unlike Nancy Dis-Grace and her ilk.
He's asking us to forgive this monster because any thinking person KNOWS her guillt.
Nothing more than a lifetime of lying and putting other people to great cost and effort with her lies. She has not shown repentance of that. That is the point, true repentance leads to a behavior change, and only those two things deserve forgiveness. These nuts who want to hurt the for what is not quite proven are just that nuts. But she is a nasty piece of work in any case.
We forgive those who can redeem themselves. This is a woman who has breached the constructs of humanity. There is no forgiveness. One does not kill their children....
you do not know .. you were not at the trial ....
Clyde...don't need to be at a trial to know the truth....look at the evidence why don't you.
Well said.
no good today - cannot post anything .. I must be thin_king 2 much
they must have evap_or_ated 25 or 30 posts .. nothing passes
this BLOG is a mess
I just can't c-um in here.
Personally, I think Casey has other issues to worry about other than "god's" forgiveness or some such nonsense. I continue to be amazed by the ignorance of supposedly educated men and women who cling so dogmatically to the Christian god. I'm so tired of the whole religion nonsense that is constantly being shoved on the American People. I would hope that some day, perhaps, instead of running to the Religious Right for commentary, perhaps the media should run to me, an atheist, to give my thoughts on Casey and her future. Just a thought.
I love how atheists always get their knickers in a knot anytime someone mentions "god". Well Mr. atheist I have news for you, there is no definitive proof of a god, many gods or no gods. So until you whip out your unequivocal evidence that there is no god, leave people to believe what they wish. Nobody is raining on your parade because you choose to live the way you do so why go around pis sing in others cheerios?
Martin...the Christian God you choose to mock will decide all our fates...even yours, so, no offense if I turn to His will and not yours.
xXAnonXx
The typical atheist is so miserable knowing that they have no hope that they want to drag everyone down with them. Frankly, looking at the amazing universe around us, I think it takes more faith to believe there is no God then to believe there is. Me, I am an educated man with a 6 figure job and the signs of God are obvious EVERYWHERE. I pity the atheist that ignores the obvious....kind of like the jury in this case I suppose....ignoring the obvious.
@ Jury- you said it man. I personally have a hard time believing this was all (the universe) happenstance. But that is merely my opinion on the matter. I know I waste my time posting to anti-faith posters, but I hear them decry religion for being so intolerant when most of the time the opposite holds true.
If she died tomorrow I'd dance on her grave.
be specific .. cha-cha? mambo? samba? reel? 2 step?
Accept me into your life and you'll understand. Peace upon you.
I guess if it was YOUR or someones you know and they did NOT REPORT ANYTHING for THIRTY FREAKING DAYS while partying and having fun, you'd be OK with that? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is an asinine article. Forgiveness can only be given when regret/repentance is shown. Casey has shown zero regret. She's actually shown smug happiness at getting away with murder. There is no reason to forgive this woman. Yes, hating her will not bring Caylee back....neither will loving or forgiving her. In my 45 years on this planet, this is the first time I will honestly approve of mob-violence. If a group of people drag her out to a tree and string her up, I won't shed a tear. Caylee won't be brought back, but this evil woman won't get to celebrate her daughter's death every day. Win win.
We should replace the entire judicial system with you, being judge jury and executioner. You are absolutely flawless and you KNOW she did it, and as a result, you wish harm upon her.
What in the name of god is wrong with you and your ridiculous feelings of infallibility? Can't you just admit that you don't know she did it and be a half-decent human being?
She was found not guilty .. what part of that can't U accept?
HERE HERE....
LAGOS, the last person to see her alive is Casey. Proof or no proof, she is responsible for her child and lied over and over and over and over again. There is no doubt in ANYONE's mind she is guilty. She simply does not meet the legal requirement for guilty, that does not mean she did not kill Caylee. As I said, I have never in my life supported mob justice, even in the OJ case, but in this case, there is NO REASONABLE DOUBT that this evil little psychopath knows exactly what happened to her daughter. If a mob strung her up tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear, and I would probably sleep better knowing this child didn't die in vain.
I have been a fair and honest man my whole life. I have believed in our justice system. It has failed here and shook my faith in the availability of a fair trial for victims because of the dregs we get on jury duty. We need to fix the jury system. People this stupid, that believe you have to have everything wrapped up like a CSI episode are really too stupid to be considered "peers" as required by law. There is no doubt in my mind Casey Anthony knows exactly what happened to her daughter. She STILL hasn't told the truth. She probably never will. That does not make her innocent, just a good liar.
No, not true at all. Forgiveness is the choice of the person who has been wronged. I do not need to wait for an apology to forgive somebody. You have to understand that forgiveness is actually good for the victim. If people always waited for an apology first, they would not get the benefit of forgiving others.
Karamgeddon starts in just under 3 hours.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
unless they belong to that other religion. In that case, hunt em down.
@Wrong turn, you only hunt down the others if you are a follower of Muhammad the Non-Profit. Read the news and you will see it evidenced everywhere.
RightTurnClyde...you must be referring to muslims I take it? They are the only "religion" I know of that hunts down anyone.
Inquisition, anyone? Anyone?