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![]() A young Christian at an purity rally spreads the word.
September 27th, 2011
08:39 AM ET
Why young Christians aren't waiting anymoreBy John Blake, CNN (CNN) -True love doesn’t wait after all. That’s the implication in the upcoming October issue of an evangelical magazine that claims that young, unmarried Christians are having premarital sex almost as much as their non-Christian peers. The article in Relevant magazine, entitled “(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It,” cited several studies examining the sexual activity of single Christians. One of the biggest surprises was a December 2009 study, conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, which included information on sexual activity. While the study’s primary report did not explore religion, some additional analysis focusing on sexual activity and religious identification yielded this result: 80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults (18 to 29) said that they have had sex - slightly less than 88 percent of unmarried adults, according to the teen pregnancy prevention organization. The article highlights what challenges abstinence movements face. Movements such as “True Love Waits,” encourage teens to wear purity rings, sign virginity pledges and pledge chastity during public ceremonies. Yet many of these Christian youths eventually abandon their purity pledges, Relevant’s Tyler Charles concludes in the article. Tyler talked to people like “Maria,” an evangelical woman who said she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. CNN's Belief Blog – all the faith angles to the day's top stories But she said she started having sex with her college boyfriend when she turned 20 because nearly everyone, even most of her Christian friends, were having sex. Maria:
Relevant theorizes about why it’s so hard for so many young Christians to wait, including the saturation of sex in popular culture, the prevalence of pornography and a popular “do what feels good philosophy.” Yet the article also asks a question that rarely comes up in discussions about abstinence movement. Relevant notes that in biblical times, people married earlier. The average age for marriage has been increasing in the U.S for the last 40 years. Today, it’s not unusual to meet a Christian who is single at 30 - or 40 or 50, for that matter. So what do you tell them? Keep waiting? Scot McKnight, author of “The Jesus Creed,” and "One.Faith: Jesus Calls, We Follow," acknowledges that young, single Christians face temptations that their counterparts in the biblical age didn’t face. He tells Relevant:
So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying? |
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team. |
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kz: "It's not about the act, it's about control. ... of the church over their flock – if they can control some important things then they can control much more of an individual"
Nah. It's about controlling yourself, your desires, and achieving "excellence" in human virtue by being more than just an animal whose only focus is on bodily wants. It's very Aristotelian, really.
Glad you've shown you know nothing about history or philosophy though. Kudos?
Um, humans are animals, anyone who thinks we're not, needs some biology classes.
Christianity is the belief that an immortal, all-knowing being, powerful enouh to create the entire Universe and its billions of galaxies, simultaneously watches the $ex lives of 6 billion ho.mo sapeins on planet Earth, so he can punish those who don't "do it" the way he wishes them to.
Atheism is the belief that the above belief is a direct derivative of the human $ex drive and those who have problems or insecurities with it.
omg. I couldn't have put it more anymore nicely. right on.
colin: "Atheism is the belief that the above belief is a direct derivative of the human $ex drive and those who have problems or insecurities with it."
Nah. Atheism is the belief that there is no god.
"Christianity is the belief that an immortal, all-knowing being, powerful enouh to create the entire Universe and its billions of galaxies, simultaneously watches the $ex lives of 6 billion ho.mo sapeins on planet Earth, so he can punish those who don't "do it" the way he wishes them to."
Brilliant fallacy.
It has more to do with the Christian belief in achieving virtue. Since all Christians believe that you will be rewarded (by going to heaven) for leading a good life, it stands to reason that - given that belief - if being promiscuous is "not good", then once you've died, you will be judged accordingly. Hence, whether there are "billions" of galaxies or not is irrelevant to whether a god judges each person for their own character and moral development.
But keep up the strawmen. They make you look intelligent.
🙂
what makes me so sad about christians is that they do good things so that they can get into heaven. If you need the promise of paradise to be nice and live an honest life, that is such a sad reality. People who don't believe in god, choose to live an honest life anyway and don't expect any reward in return. this is the biggest hypocrisy of all christians.
Nah, so, your sky-god does or does not simultaneously watch the 6 billion human beings on this planet 24 hours a day and judge them based, in part, on their $exual conduct?
Christianity is the belief that an immortal, all-knowing being, powerful enouh to create the entire Universe and its billions of galaxies, simultaneously watches the $ex lives of 6 billion ho.mo sapeins on planet Earth, so he can punish those who don't "do it" the way he wishes them to....and also the same immortal, all-knowing being sees EVERY hurt, every tear and knows when a child cries and a heart breaks and His immortal heart breaks too....why do you not see his greatness?
colin: "Nah, so, your sky-god does or does not simultaneously watch the 6 billion human beings on this planet 24 hours a day and judge them based, in part, on their $exual conduct?"
Brilliant comeback.
Instead of refuting the argument, or answering the questions, make assumptions about your opposition and call them names instead.
Good job?
nah, what question of yours did I fail to answer? Now, an answer to mine, please.
james: "If you need the promise of paradise to be nice and live an honest life, that is such a sad reality. People who don't believe in god, choose to live an honest life anyway and don't expect any reward in return."
Atheists who live an honest life and expect nothing in return must be pretty stupid then, eh?
After all, if there is no god - and so no threat of punishment for doing "wrong" - then you have no reason to do right or wrong, except insofar as doing right or wrong may bring you some pleasure or gain.
Brilliant philosophy.
colin: "nah, what question of yours did I fail to answer? Now, an answer to mine, please."
I'm sorry you're not intelligent enough to see it.
Implicit in the rebuttal to your (fallacious) assertions was a request that you either show how and why you're right, or how and why the objections to your assertions were wrong.
I think Nah is just a kid who found a few words and now thinks he's a world-class debater. LOL
bob: "I think Nah is just a kid who found a few words and now thinks he's a world-class debater. LOL"
Hmm..good one?
It's probably that apologist Cabane the Cristian from YouTube.
Nah, um again $ex is the most natural of human (adult) experances. To deny that is to beed insecurity, and ignorance. I hope all the good little christians know that there book condems them to an eternity of pain and suffering, for what comes most natural to them, so sad.
CRIS, it is not wounderous, because if what you say is true, then he sees the pain suffering and hate, and does nothing about it, that is not the mark of an all loveing god.
Jesus Christ, the Creator of us and our universe, came to earth as a man out of love for us to save us from our sin and rebellion against God. He willingly gave up his life, God in the flesh suffering for our sakes, to free us to live as God intended from the beginning. His resurrection proved his victory over sin and death and he offers everyone who will turn from their sin and trust in him forgiveness and eternal life. History, and all nature with its amazing complexity and beauty, declare the existence of God and of Jesus Christ. Read the Scriptures and come to know him for yourself.
Or, y'know, none of that ever happened and your bible is a work of fiction. What if it was just someone's early attempt at a novel, like "The Lord of the Rings"? Heck, it even suffers from a lot of "The Lord of the Rings" problems, like poor pacing and a rambling narrative.
So the supposedly omnipotent god Jesus couldn't think of any way to forgive his creatures other than committing suicide?
Think about that for a little bit, and realize how absurd it is.
Mythological Jesus killed himself to save us from himself from the very mess he started himself in the first place. So much from a paradoxical all-knowing omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent being.
So amazingsteve, i take it you have never seen a blind man healed, or a deaf woman being able to hear again all through the name of jesus christ. Nor have you heard that demons flee at the sound of Jesus. or my favorite one, a man cured from AIDS (a disease that has found no cure) through the Lord Jesus Christ. Atheists and those who refuse the bible/jesus disregard it because you dont know whether or not it is true. I had the same doubts, but after seeing the works of God. What other God can do that? none. Jesus is the Way, whether you like it or not. If you want to live and doubt and believe there is no God or that Jesus isnt the way and risk the chance of missing out in heaven then that is your choice, but God gives no mercy or grace to those that deny him. I would hate to miss out on something great, because of the stubborness of myself. just sayin
gupsphoo,
Jesus didn't commit suicide, He gave up HIs life–died–in your place and mine and everyone else's, to reconcile us to God the Father. Why? Solely out of love for us. He loves you intensely–He cherishes you–and He wants you to come to Him, to receive what He's done for you.
Aaron – provide the people (the living proof) in your stated opinion. For it is your opinion. Sputtering crap will get you nowhere.
Which of the following groups believes that an invisible being in the sky is watching them every time they have $ex and will punish them if they are bad:
(a) Women with sever mental issues about $ex
(b) Delusional schizophrenics
(c) Evangelical Christians; or
(d) All of the above
You will believe when you see him return in the clouds. And you will be trembling, because you already know your judgement.
Sheila's admonition brings up another, even sillier, aspect of Christian supersti.tion. Non-believers will burn for eternity in hell.
Think this throug for five secondsh. You don’t have to kill, you don’t have to rob, hell, you don’t even have to litter. All you have to do is not believe in the Christian god and he will inflict a punishment upon you an infinite times worse than the death penalty….and he loves you.
Dark Ages nonsense.
Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that He is LORD. Some joyfully, some not so much...
Christians really seem to love that bowing thing. Too bad their conviction is not grounded in any evidentiary fact.
You people and your revolting ratlike drooling over nonbelievers' suffering when your magic super-jew flies down from the stratosphere is a truly ludicrous and sadistic fantasy, the never-to-be-fulfilled fantasy of a cowardly, retarded, sniveling sewer rat.
What is with this obsession towards submitting to an irrational mythological god named Yahweh/Jesus/Jehovah?
It is simply that they feel that they are right.
The more they can punish others with their words of spite – the more content they will be when their brains assure themselves that they are now better off for having condemning their enemies. For they do want us to be their enemies and if not they will make us their enemies so they can continue condemning. Twisted minds..
It's not about the act, it's about control. Control reproduction. Control behavior. Control the mind. Control other aspects of lifestyle. It's about control of the church over their flock – if they can control some important things then they can control much more of an individual, little different than control of a totalitarian government over it's people.
It is almost exactly like a totalitarian govt. Just imagine a govt that operated with a perfect Mentor and could actually punish people who break the laws.
kz: "It's not about the act, it's about control. ... It's about control of the church over their flock – if they can control some important things then they can control much more of an individual"
Nah. It's about controlling yourself, your desires, and achieving "excellence" in human virtue by being more than just an animal whose only focus is on bodily wants. It's very Aristotelian, really.
Glad you've shown you know nothing about history or philosophy though. Kudos?
I do not welcome any dictator, and judging from the contradictions and brutality found in the bible, which is the only "evidence" of existence, the christian god is far from perfect.
Chlamydia.
Mkay this one will obviously run+run, it's hardly a new discussion. Personally I'm not out to convert anyone either way; you enjoy what makes you happy.
However, I'll leave you with a quote I always enjoyed;
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
Douglas Adams
...by the way I do believe the garden is beautiful. For some reason {religious folk of whatever persuasion) seem to think that those "without god" are without humor, optimism, appreciation of beauty, kindness for their fellow beings.
\All I can say is that I don't discriminate; happy kind productive people – however they get their kicks – are OK with me.
What's not OK with me is being told what's "Sinful" and what isn't (and it seems that almost any conduct – with the notable exception of giving money to a religious organization – is sinful in somebody's eyes)
Mkay then have it your own way; \
Matthew 18:24
".. it is easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into the kingdom of God."
Convenient that. So, give all your money to the church before you die or you're in trouble.
Not to be cynical, but even Bernie Maddoff had to promise he'd pay interest. 😉
I thought so.
Personal relationships are more important than politics.
Or your Crusade To Reform Islam.
The animals at CNN obviously don't get it.
You can't 'raise' a Christian. You can train them to do things, but eventually they will have to have a direct relationship with God based on their own choice.
Meds for schizophrenia do wonders.
By reform islam, do you mean invade and bomb brown people?
To quote Greg Giraldo..."What would Jesus do? NOT get married. That's lesson #1."
Well, now honestly, who could read about all those "begats" without feeling a certain stirring in the loins, eh? Song of Solomon is pretty good for a one-handed read, if you get my drift.
@gerald: see buddy, I was talking to saychoss in that last post, and he/she/it seemed to imply that us heathens were the cause of some of this. Perhaps I misread. As for the children, my point is that in a world minus religion, there would be fewer broken families (from, for example, divorce) Broken families = bad for children, yes? So, for this and many other reasons, religion = bad for the children.
This who topic is irreverent and irrelevent. There is nothing new here. Teenagers and pre-martials were doing "it" long before I was born back in the 1940's.
Just because everyone was doing it, doesn't mean it's suddenly ok.
Bill: Doesn't mean it's wrong, either
well said.
Yeah what Bill wants is to say "it is wrong, so accept it! It is wrong. If I can not tell you it's wrong then that is wrong also! It must be wrong because I want it to be wrong." God said it to me" – the usual blah blah blah – you can see the froth in religious people's mouth.
These abstinence movements are fighting biology. It's not culture or temptation. It's a simple fact that humans are supposed to reproduce when they are at their physical healthiest, which is about 15 – 25. All this waiting or forcing people into marriage before they're ready / with the right one is devastating to individuals.
Young Christians are the same as everyone else. Human beings. Why can't we just live as one? Love is the one and only eternal thing.
Good comment, wildcatwest, and I assume this charity extends to your gay and transgender fellow citizens, right?
I love that excuse! We are only human! That saying helps me rationalize my failures as being someone else's fault.
bill: failures? to live up to bronze age mythology?
So much ignorance in one place. Very Sad.
I wish the media would stop using "Christian" and "evangelical" interchangably. It sends the false message that all Christians are part of this new ,radical evangelical movement. Many of us Christians have evolved far beyond any need for their primitive structures and would appreciate not being dragged down by association.
– Stone to death those who work on the sabbath.
– Rapists must pay in sliver and marry their victims.
– You can beat your slave and as long as he doesn't die in a couple days, you're accountable.
All of the above are in the Bible. So why should anyone follow what it says in the first place?
i like your way of proving your points. much respect .
* not accountable * 🙂
Sorry, I meant to say "not accountable" in my 3rd point. 🙂
You don't understand the bible, nor do you understand the old testament writings. So you should not criticize what you really need to learn.
I think you are mistaken in how justice is carried out. it's typical of those that don't actually know what the laws say and think it's all cut and dry in the texts.
You will probably find people will say Jesus fulfilled prophecy of the Torah (or Old Testament as some new sects call it) so it's irrelevant – all but the anti-gay part. They'll quote that line to no end because it justifies their bigotry today. People use this book to make- believe God is on their side. People used to quote the Old Testament to justify slavery. Mark Twain shreaded those fools in several of his writings.
Going by your reasoning:
-Rapists get about 7 years
-Murderers get life
-Perjurers get penalized
-Gotta even pay your parking tickets
Who comes up with these laws anyways? Doesn't make the least sense.
Yes, throw out the Old Testament!
But if you do, you would also have to throw out the 10 Commandments.
BTW, do you know there are multiple versions of the 10 Commandments in the Bible? One of them says "don't boil a goat in its mother's milk".
LOL!!!!
Sheila,
"You don't understand the bible, nor do you understand the old testament writings."
Explain how what the Bible said is not what the Bible said. This should be good.
Lol the good old "no kid in milk!"...
Seems more like something some crappy Food Nework chef would say than a majestic utterance of the creator of the universe...
Yep marrying them young ties them down... That's what most villagers do in my country to keep their young sons tied down to work in the field or to return back if they go out of the village or the country looking for education or work...
In the city they marry them young to protect them from getting lost immorally...the boy would be at the age of 18 and above while girl would be 16 years more or less.... But these habits are becoming less now a days...
Glad to see those traditions are dying, muneef. Very destructive to the individuals. No freedom of choice.
babore.
Well not all say the same thing, some said was good and some regretted at later future stage...! But now I see that the issue here the youth will not await their parents and would rather merry early even with out consent or knowledge of their families which is far more dangerous than ours although was at youth freedom of choice...!! As to my personal view I see legitimate marriage is fine even at earlier age but the thing that is not fine is having children at that young age when you are young and not well prepared or responsible to take a good care of their children or will consider same as a set back to their future professional life...and such thing as not giving birth now a days could be made by a minor operation that can be resumed at later stage when the parents are ready for having children...guess that will resolve the standing abortion issues and the multiplication of parentless children...!!!
both my husband and I waited until we got married (in our thirties)...we are both so glad we did...we've been married for many years and are as happy as we were at the beginning. We gave each other the ultimate gift and our marriage is solid and very fulfilling. We don't know what else is out there, so we don't have to compare and it's wonderful. We both agree that we would do it all over again. It's worth it. The temptations were always there for both of us, but we were determined to follow through with our desire to offer ourselves only to our spouse and it paid off. We only knew each other for a couple years before we got married, so it's not like we were able to rely on each other.
If you think the "ultimate gift" is your virginity I really feel sorry for your marriage.
You waited until your 30s?! so sad. I bet you two are really bad in bed.
I get to enjoy a very happy home life, so there is nothing to be sorry about. I feel sorry for those who don't get to experience a peaceful home like the one that I have been enjoying and will for many years to come.
Ah. Virginity for leisure. I think they have a name for that transaction.
He must've only lasted 7 seconds. I don't see how that can be pleasurable for you.
Don't know what happened to my post, but the gist of it is that you actually did miss out on a whole lot by waiting so long. There is bliss in ignorance, but many people have happy home lives in their 30s and onward without sacrificing the wonderful experiences of youth. If you think some biological act done by every mammal on the planet is the greatest gift you can give your husband, then I simply feel sorry for both of you. That gift is on a deeper, more spiritual level, not the superficial level at which you're currently operating. Keep seeking. God bless.
Good for you, for choosing your path. But just because something worked for you does not mean it works for everyone else. In fact, history has proven that it doesn't work for most people. I know that I would rather be with someone who knows what else is out there, but chooses me.
The obsession people have with virginity is ridiculous and pathetic. Most people obsessed with it use it as an excuse to chase young girls.
liz: I'm genuinely glad you have a long-term happy, loving relationship; me too. It brings me great joy and satisfaction and my life would be a poorer thing without it. I am hugely appreciative of what I have; I greet every day with joy.
I don't thank God, but I am extremely happy and I know that many people don't manage to find this.,
My wife and I are atheists; quite possibly our beautiful 10-month old girl will be too. I would thank God, but to me that would be pointless and silly. I thank my wife for being such a sweet, loving human being, and we both thank our parents for their hard work and love in making us the individuals we are. That's it.
I believe in love, happiness, kindness and treating others as you would wish to be treated; I just don't believe in God.
Kill your dad and marry your mom. Everybody's doing it.
Somebody may be mentally impaired enough to believe that.
I'd marry your mom