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April 28th, 2012
09:52 PM ET

My Faith: What does God sound like?

Editor's note: Listen to the CNN podcast of this piece: Karen Spears Zacharias is author of A Silence of Mockingbirds: The Memoir of a Murder (MacAdam/Cage, 2012) and is on Twitter at @karenzach.

By Karen Spears Zacharias, Special to CNN

I hear the audible voice of God. No, not in the same way that the Bible’s Eve did when God asked her outright and out loud: “Woman, what in my name have you done now?”

Scriptures don’t tell us specifically, but I suspect at that particular moment in eternity God must have sounded a lot like Perry Mason: “C’mon, tell the truth. You know I’m a specialist on getting people out of trouble.”

Bestselling author Patti Callahan Henry is a pastor’s daughter in Alabama. You’d think if God spoke to anybody, it would be a pastor’s child, but Patti swears she has never heard the voice of God. The only time God speaks to her is through the written word.

I find that odd since God talks to me all the time.


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Certainly God knows I’m an auditory learner, so if he wants my attention he has to talk to me. When God speaks to me, he sounds a lot like Garrison Keillor, host of the radio show “A Prairie Home Companion." In other words, he’s engaging, often very funny, and almost always an absolute joy to be around. Even when God’s mad with me (more often that I care to admit), he’s fairly good-natured about it.

Theologians who study this sort of thing say that our image of God is formed by our relationships with our fathers. That image is formed in part by how our fathers speak to us. If they bark orders at us all the time, we might hear God as a crank. But if our fathers speak to us in instructive, encouraging tones, we may hear God as our best coach. My father died when I was young, so I don’t remember his voice, but I’ve listened to Garrison Keillor pretty regularly for 25 years.

When my husband and I were raising our children, we banned television from our household. "A Prairie Home Companion" was our primary form of entertainment on Sunday afternoons. With Sundays as our Sabbath, I suppose it is natural for me to associate God with Garrison.

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Many people don’t even speak to God, much less listen to what he has to say. I imagine for some the thought of a God as Garrison Keillor would be pure hell, what with all that Guy Noir Private Eye nonsense and those saccharin sweet ketchup commercials. Perhaps like a good mother, though, God resorts to a variety of different voices to reach all of her children. Do you identify any of the following?

- Spock, from “Star Trek,” is the defining voice of God. Spock is half-mother (human) and half-father (Vulcan). Who could be more egalitarian, more Godlike than that? Anyone who thinks of God as arbitrary and capricious needs to have a chat with Mr. Spock, who once so rightly noted, “Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.” Amen. Amen.

- James Earl Jones. If I heard that baritone voice calling to me from a burning bush, it would stop me in my tracks. Who cares that Jones couldn’t cut the muster at Fort Benning’s legendary Ranger school? That’s nothing more than boot camp for a bunch of hellions anyway. There is something about the thundering power of Jones’ voice that naturally evokes trust from us. And if we can’t have a God in whom we can trust, what’s the point?

- Surely, Jeff Bridges is the voice of God for all the remnant of Jesus Freaks now seeking refuge as Episcopalians. “I am not Mr. Lebowski,” Bridge’s says in Coen Brothers’ “Big Lewoski,” in one of the oft-quoted lines in that cult classic. “You’re Mr. Lebowski. I am The Dude, so that’s what you call me. That or His Dudeness or uh, Duder, or, El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.” Of course, aging Jesus Freaks and Episcopalians alike are all about that brevity thing, so they happily go along with “the Dude abides,” another classic line from the film.

- Yoda, of “Star Wars,” is the voice of God for Zen-seeking, yoga-loving Emergent Christians. Emergents are the melting pot of Christianity, the place where hipsters who want to be spiritual but not religious go for community - typically a local brewery or Starbucks. “Luminous beings are we,” says Yoda. “Not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere!”

- Writer C. Terry Cline Jr. says when God speaks to him, it is in the scolding voice of Pee-Wee Herman - “What did I tell you?” In Cline’s latest book, "The Return of Edgar Caycee," Cline claims he was channeled by the previously deceased reincarnation guru, whose fan club has rivaled that of God’s. Is it any wonder God is miffed with Cline for conjuring up Caycee again?

- Your momma. Sonny Brewer, a Navy veteran and my editor at San Francisco’s publishing house MacAdam/Cage, says that the only voice he’s ever associated with God was his mother’s. Sonny’s mom has been nearly mute for nearly 20 years, the result of a stroke. “She can sing hymns but she can’t talk,” Sonny says. “When I think of God speaking to me, I think of my momma. Like God, she always loves me, even when I’m a bad boy.”

Whatever the cause, nobody enjoys getting the silent treatment. It is a particularly troubling matter when God goes silent on us, when we can’t hear his voice at all, whether it’s a tender whisper of encouragement, raucous laughter, or a thundering rebuke, it is then that we are most keenly aware of God.

Silence stills us. We pause and listen, ear pressed, waiting, anticipating, hoping for just a word of assurance that we have not been abandoned.

We all have had days when we feel like we’ve failed God. If in such moments we would listen to the wind in the trees, the waves curling on the beach, feet crunching in sand, and the song of the mockingbird as the evening sun sets, we would surely hear creator God singing hymns over us, his creation.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Karen Spears Zacharias.

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Movies

soundoff (3,288 Responses)
  1. Pablo Disney

    Isn't it interesting that Jesus became a blond-haired blue-eyed aryan in all the art work, and James Earl Jones became white in the picture above as the voice of God? That seems like proof to me. Unless Michael Jackson was god – he really became white!

    April 30, 2012 at 3:37 am |
  2. imo

    imo the voice of god is the voice of Morgan Freeman and I am not the only one.

    Case in point, I couldn't remember his name of the top of my head, and asked my friend "who is the guy that is god?" and she answered "morgan freeman."

    If there is a god, then have his voice and I will never doubt and love you forever... in the biblical sense 😉

    April 30, 2012 at 3:33 am |
    • Mirosal

      No, "god" is not Moragn Freeman. "God" would have to be George Burns. After all, no make-up was required. George really was old enough to be "god" lol

      April 30, 2012 at 3:45 am |
  3. JW

    These posts are really too much. Just because YOU have never heard God speak doesn't mean He doesn't speak to people. In fact the Bible is full of examples where He talks to individuals, especially the prophets. It is not impossible to hear His voice. You have to be spiritually alive first, meaning you have a relationship with Him and are close to Him. He tells me my future, and it comes to pass just like He told me. I HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, obey Him and love Him. That's why I hear His loving, kind voice. That is what He offers everyone. Believe in Jesus, and repent of your sins to have a relationship with God.

    April 30, 2012 at 3:32 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      you don't really hear a voice. and if you do you're crazy. grow up and put your imaginary friends to bed.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:34 am |
    • HellBent

      So who's to say that Andrea Yates didn't hear his voice?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:34 am |
    • Daniel Orozco

      You are about the 140th Christian here who has claimed to actually have heard God talking.

      Let me give you a hint – if you want people to think you are sane, keep that to yourself. Even other Christians don't believe you.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:40 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      tell it to mother teresa

      April 30, 2012 at 3:45 am |
    • PILLOW PANTS

      Personal relationship with your hand maybe

      April 30, 2012 at 4:07 am |
    • sam stone

      god talked to me. through a handful of magic mushrooms

      April 30, 2012 at 4:33 am |
  4. 1nd3p3nd3nt

    if god could talk, you'd at least think he'd say something like "hey guys, thought i should tell you my priests are molesting your children"

    April 30, 2012 at 3:23 am |
    • Pere Ubu

      The interesting thing is that the pedo priests and the clergy who covered it up implicitly cannot believe in the God they claim, for they would be far too scared of him to ever do such things in the first place if they believed. Indeed, the Catholics who make excuses for it and blame the victims would be far too afraid of hell to do such a monsterous bit of apologetics if they actually believed.

      People like Nii and just saying would be terrified of God's vengeance for the way they talk on this blog, so on a subconscious level, they cannot truly believe either.

      If people truly believed in God, they would not act the way they do.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:30 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      this is the same god that punished the pharaoh of egypt by murdering all their first born males?

      yeah, how could anyone who believes in a god that murders children do something bad like abuse children?

      derp.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:36 am |
    • Nii

      PERE UBU
      1John4:18 says perfect love overcomes fear. It is for this reason I strive to love God with all my life n love my neighbor as myself. I don't fear Hell. I wish u knew such love and practised it. Thanks but your judgement is not God's. The priest may repent yet or face God's judgement.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:41 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      booty, i can tell you're a kid by your use of 'derp.'
      there's a difference between the old testament and the new testament.
      fire and brimstone god is the old testament, the new testament is 'love thy neighbor' and 'turn the other cheek.'

      i'm not saying it makes sense, i'm just telling you what it is. Don't get mad at me, i didn't write either one.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:42 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      who cares about the priest nii!
      what about the children!?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:43 am |
    • Daniel Orozco

      God doesn't care about the victims. They are ignored unless they become sycophants. He only cares about vengeance.

      Nii does not care about the victims either.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:46 am |
    • Mirosal

      But, didn't jesus say that the scrptures STILL apply? By that he meant that what we call the Old Testament is still in effect. So, do we live like it says to in that, or do we advance as a society and leave the mythology in the past where it belongs? And if you don't live according to the Old Testament, isn't that hypocritical? After all, it's STILL part of your bible.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:49 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      derp!

      "fire and brimstone god is the old testament, the new testament is 'love thy neighbor' and 'turn the other cheek.'"
      yes, there is a difference between the OT and NT. God is less of a disgusting jerk in the NT, but a loving God? wrong. he's still a jerk, just not as bad. here's some "loving" passages from the mouth of jesus himself in the NT:

      jesus kills children:
      Revelation 2:22-23
      22 Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their[a] deeds. 23 I will kill her children with death, and all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.

      jesus supports slavery:
      Luke 12:37-38
      37 "Blessed are those slaves whom the master will find on the alert when he comes; truly I say to you, that he will gird himself to serve, and have them recline at the table, and will come up and wait on them.
      38 "Whether he comes in the second watch, or even in the third, and finds them so, blessed are those slaves.”

      so explain those. sounds like you're the one that needs to read the bible. most christians, like you, have not. you're ignorant of what your own religious handbook says. LOL.

      For a long, LONG list of NT cruelties, go to this site:
      http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/nt_list.html

      April 30, 2012 at 3:54 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      good question mirosal!
      there's something called the new covenant, where the 'old' rules and regulations got traded in for 'new' ones. Some people see that as meaning jesus and 'turn the other cheek' overrules the older fire and brimstone version. Others say that since christianity is built on the jewish faith, denying the one will invalidate the other.

      imo, i see it as a power-grab that was easier to pull off when people couldn't read and didn't have access to information like we do nowadays. it is nearly impossible to argue with someone about what they believe, what their faith and religion are. It's much easier to co-opt their religion and influence them that way, the enemy within and all that jazz.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:58 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      and don't forget Revelation. much like with the great flood, God murders almost everyone on earth. he brings his cult followers up to heaven, and then releases plagues, famine, war, etc. on everyone left and kills them. and there are a LOT more people on earth now. so just by the math, God is actually worse than the OT - he is destined to murder billions at the end times.

      sounds pretty loving, eh?

      April 30, 2012 at 4:00 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      booty, there's so much room for interpretation in the bible it is ridiculous. To claim the jesus supported slavery because he said if you were a good slave, your master would serve you as a reward, is less about slavery and more about respecting each other, regardless if you are a slave or a slave owner.

      how do you kill someone with death? it sounds like it could be dangerous, i better quote it and post it on cnn chat rooms!

      you are confusing inferring with implying.

      and don't get mad for someone making fun of you for using the world 'derp.' you want to look like an 1diot, that's all on you.

      April 30, 2012 at 4:04 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      yes, Mirosal, christians often try to move away from the OT by saying it doesn't apply anymore since the NT. that's because they're embarrassed at the open cruelty done by God in the OT. they forget that in the NT, God murders almost everyone on the planet, babies included, at the End Times. they try to separate themselves from the OT.

      1nd3p3nd3nt wrote:
      "there's something called the new covenant, where the 'old' rules and regulations got traded in for 'new' ones. "

      but just as Mirosal pointed out, Jesus himself says you cannot drop a letter from the old laws (old testament). he says they are eternally binding:
      "Do not think that I [Jesus] have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. (Matthew 5:17-18)"

      April 30, 2012 at 4:12 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      ah yes, the end times of revelations. Such well written work there. if someone wrote it for english class they'd get an F.
      so because in revelations it's prophecy that the world will end and people will die, that makes the new testament 'worse' than the old testament, and this is all deduced by you due to body count?

      so when the world does end, because it will eventually end, do you think it will be peaceful? no one will die at the end of the world, really?

      when did jesus kill the first born of an entire culture?
      when did jesus flood the earth killing every living thing except what noah managed to fit on his boat?
      when did jesus ask his followers to kill their own children, and then take it back right before they did it?
      when did jesus send his followers to smite opponents by circling their city and blowing their horn seven times?
      when did jesus split up the races of mankind and force them to speak in different tongues because they built a tower that was too tall?

      where do you get the sayings "turn the other cheek" and "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?

      you want to debate 2000 year old religious script, fine, be my guest. If you can't understand some basic, general distinctions between the two testaments, that's your problem, not mine.

      April 30, 2012 at 4:13 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      are you kidding me? come on, face facts: jesus supported slavery.

      "To claim the jesus supported slavery because he said if you were a good slave, your master would serve you as a reward, is less about slavery and more about respecting each other, regardless if you are a slave or a slave owner. "

      ridiculous. you are making excuses for your messiah. slavery, arguably the most evil inst.itution ever inflicted on man, and you think a slave should have respect for his owner? are you insane or entirely lacking of humanity? jesus telling slaves to obey doesn't count as approval? lol. are you joking? make more excuses please.

      and for the record, no one's mad. you going on about a slang word makes sound like a grandma. lol. you show a complete lack of logic and reasoning skills and call someone else an idiot? haha.

      April 30, 2012 at 4:18 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      "how do you kill someone with death? it sounds like it could be dangerous, i better quote it and post it on cnn chat rooms!"
      ummm... what are you talking about?

      you are confusing inferring with implying. "
      umm.... what are you even saying here?

      April 30, 2012 at 4:20 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      look booty, im tired of arguing with you. Google the words if you don't know what they mean.
      google new covenant and read about that too. it is ALL i am trying to get in your head. Not debating stup1d passages in the bible and what they 'could' mean, but what is believed by religious organizations and communities in their own words, their reasoning for why they believe what they believe.

      and get a clue genius. I'm as much of a christian as jesus was.
      seriously, google new covenant and read, stop wasting people's time online

      April 30, 2012 at 4:28 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      google the words? lol. you just fail at trying to sounds smart.

      "and get a clue genius. I'm as much of a christian as jesus was.
      seriously, google new covenant and read, stop wasting people's time online"

      i like how you get out of answering my questions. that's a great strategy. instead of coming up with valid counterpoints, you tell me to go look up why you're right somewhere else? i have an idea, why don't you just answer the questions i put to you? i answer any you put to me.

      people who don't know what they're talking about and get debated into a corner often get frustrated and say "you just don't know what you're talking about." it means they don't know how to debate the points put to them.

      April 30, 2012 at 4:35 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      if i have to explain the difference between 'imply' and 'infer' to you, you are stup1d

      April 30, 2012 at 4:40 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      here's a question for you booty:
      what do christians mean when they talk about the new covenant?

      April 30, 2012 at 4:48 am |
    • Bootyfunk

      you don't. i understand perfectly. i just don't understand what you're saying there. how am i guilty of your charge?

      April 30, 2012 at 4:48 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      you are "inferring" what the bible means, yet you are attributing the authors 'implied' it.
      this is basic english 101 stuff.

      Is there some evidence for your point of view, sure. But in context and in comparison, it doesn't hold as much water as you evidently think it does. Not sure why you're harping on me for explaining to you what christians say they believe.

      What I don't understand is why you use quotes from the same scripture in an attempt in invalidate what these people believe. I prefer arguments like 'why did jesus have to die to save us from our sins?" and 'how did the magicians turn their staffs into serpents?" or better yet, 'why did god create us with free will and then punish us for it by kicking us out of eden?" and one of my favorites, 'why didn't jesus defend himself when questioned by the pharisees?"

      April 30, 2012 at 4:55 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      what you are doing is similar to picking a fight with a mentally ill person. They spit out gibberish and nonsense, and you quote some of their words back to them in an attempt to win an argument with them!

      quoting the bible in an argument with some devote christian type who sees the bible as the word of god and holy and infallible, then yeah, that might work. to most anyone else with basic critical thinking skills though, it's like debating who would win a fight between a unicorn and a manticore : (

      April 30, 2012 at 5:01 am |
    • Jeanine

      Ah...tactics, strategy, logistics, resources, terrain, all the old familar ways of war.

      I just got done going a few rounds on a different site about tactics in how to debate/argue/whatever with the religious, how we characterize our words, the things we attack and why, and the difficulties in forming a consensus on any of it.
      In the end, we made nice because we are all pretty much for many of the same things in most respects, but in application our personal habits, the way we like to argue, our knowledge of things, including English, fallacies, forms of bias, etc. really make these sorts of blogs a free-for-all.

      Some scripture-quoting religious people might respond better to quoting stuff back, as they started it – perhaps they adopt a legalistic stance and will refuse to listen to anything unless it is returned in a similar way.
      But in the end, it depends on the persons involved. I don't bother worrying about de-programming the "faithful" because it's a crapshoot and simply reading something in a blog is not likely to make a huge difference to the ones who need it the most before they go postal and kill innocent people.

      I have my own tactics. They suit me. If I have a problem with some other atheist, I often have to look quite closely to determine why this is so because it is so easy to jump to the wrong conclusion. I make mistakes. Others make mistakes.
      We have to do what we can as best we can, but jumping to conclusions really makes me feel stupid because it IS stupid.
      We don't need to present a solid front as regards tactics, positions, personal ideals or anything. We just have to keep from falling into these traps that come with any dialogue, any communication.
      For me, I like quoting scripture if I've tried other things without result first. But then, if they are quoting scripture, their mix of indoctrinated delusion falls into certain categories of application and expression and it may not even be worth talking to them with a view towards getting them to see a bit of sense or logic. They may be too far gone for that. I move on.

      April 30, 2012 at 7:53 am |
  5. Nii

    OBSERVER
    I have told u once before that the Moral laws of the Mosaic Law forbids certain se.xual practises. Even if u r gay beyond measure n r celibate then u don't fall foul of the law. Also Christians r not allowed to judge those outside their communities but if asked will have to tell u its bad.

    April 30, 2012 at 3:18 am |
    • sam stone

      What makes you think that the supposed laws of an iron age, middle eastern agrarian society apply to modern man?

      Also, you still are a bigot for wanting to deny people's civil rights

      April 30, 2012 at 3:41 am |
  6. 1nd3p3nd3nt

    if i was the all-powerful creator of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, I'd choose an imperfect form of communication, one that is easily misunderstood and needs constant attention to defining terms.

    more importantly, i'd tell everyone else that i refuse to make myself known so as to give you all a 'choice' in whether to believe in me or go to hell, but i will secretly only communicate with you, in your head, so no one else can hear, because they're all trying to get you, they all talk bad about you behind your back, the microwaves are giving the angel's cancer! stop american idol before they open the hell mouth! park benches rain yellow pudding jumping closets!

    April 30, 2012 at 3:13 am |
  7. Man created God in his image

    Answer: Nothing

    April 30, 2012 at 3:05 am |
  8. 1nd3p3nd3nt

    you think god is telling you jokes, and chatting with you in english, sounding like spock, while there are children dying from starvation at the same time?

    the power of faith is only eclipsed by the power of stupidity : (

    April 30, 2012 at 3:01 am |
    • Nii

      1nd3
      Analogy just isn't logical. what has someone's conversation got to do with starvation?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:10 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      how can god be laughing with you while his other children are dying horribly?
      are you saying this isn't logical because you believe god is a sociopath?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:14 am |
    • Nii

      It seems you have never ever had to be in a situation where you have to keep people happy as something bad happens. Besides your analogy isn't logical. look at it again.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:25 am |
    • Nii

      Even in the pain of an imperfect world I thought you knew that the victims told on the priests but devout parents either ignored them for telling lies or the authorities felt there wasn't enough evidence or covered it up. God allows us freewill. Even when He came he was and still is doubted.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:30 am |
    • HellBent

      @Nii,

      Why doesn't your god get off his arse to help people who are suffering instead of making small talk?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:33 am |
    • Pablo Disney

      Nii is indeed the walking talking oxygen-wasting example of the power of stupidity

      April 30, 2012 at 3:34 am |
    • 1nd3p3nd3nt

      let me see if i can get this straight, nii. you're saying there's a perfect god who created an imperfect world?

      April 30, 2012 at 3:39 am |
    • Nii

      BOOTYFUNK
      After all that bombast you now sit down to ask a sensible question? Basically de ancients had a tendency to mythicise creatures. According to de history books the rhino was mythicised to such a great deal that when it was rediscovered it needed a new name. De Guinea fowl was once a Turkey.

      April 30, 2012 at 4:50 am |
    • Nii

      SAM STONE
      We all have equal protection under the Law but does that mean we all ride in the Beast with Secret Service bodyguards? Or fly in Air Force One? A privilege is a privilege. If that makes me a bigot may it be so. i hope u r not bigot like me though.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm |
    • Nii

      SAM STONE
      We all have equal protection under the Law but does that mean we all ride in the Beast with Secret Service bodyguards? Or fly in Air Force One? A pri.vi.lege is a pri.vi.lege. If that makes me a bigot may it be so. i hope u r not bigot like me though.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:22 pm |
    • Nii

      SAM STONE
      Since you say he is the President note also that everyone in fact gets Secret service protection but in varying degrees which is against your equal protection under law. Bigotry is not what I'm doing here. As a christian for me an unbeliever can do what he wants.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:50 pm |
    • Nii

      1ONE
      There is no reason y it has 2 b taken literally to work. The Bible's teachings work even if they r downright false. Therefore looking 4 de moral is more important than looking 4 de "truth" in de literal sense. Christ says de chief moral is charitable love. When read in this way it makes sense.

      May 1, 2012 at 1:08 am |
  9. John

    This is what god sounds like:

    ........

    Yea he's fake.

    April 30, 2012 at 2:18 am |
  10. bluemax77

    Sounds like a fake..!!

    April 30, 2012 at 2:13 am |
    • Nii

      Keep inventing the blognames! You are so faaaakkkeee!!!

      April 30, 2012 at 3:11 am |
  11. Jim P>

    Generally, if you listen to the voices in your head, you start tying your kid to a rock and planning to slit his throat or deciding that village in the next valley is full of evil doers who must be slain (all except their virgin daughters of course, you get to keep them for your own use.)

    You hear what you think you want to hear when you start indulging in auditory hallucinations and whether it sounds like Darth Vader or Elmer Fudd is the least of your problems.

    April 30, 2012 at 2:09 am |
  12. Jimi

    To hear God speak... plug a Fender Stratocaster into a Marshall amp and hand it to me.

    April 30, 2012 at 2:09 am |
    • toadears

      Well there must be a god if you are the resurrected Jimi Hendrix.

      April 30, 2012 at 2:58 am |
  13. b4bigbang

    Gotta go home now, but I wil look at your reply in a couple hours.
    G'nite!
    I leave my part of this board to the fake bigbang.....

    April 30, 2012 at 1:54 am |
    • Observer

      Don't bother replying. We've gone about as far as we can go on this. Just remember the trees the next time you might be inclined to pick on gays or try to pretend that anyone ever talked about abortion while in the forest. Good night.

      April 30, 2012 at 3:09 am |
  14. Bill W

    All those who will hear God,shall hear God.All those who listen for the songs of the birds,the rustling of the leaves,the cries
    of a newborn child,have heard God.Even the deaf,will be comforted by the sound of God,in a way that those of us blessed
    with hearing,can only imagine.Those who listen for God,will always be comforted and reassured.God's voice you see,is
    carried in the sound,of life itself.

    April 30, 2012 at 1:45 am |
    • Orange Papers

      Go back to your AA cult, Bill

      April 30, 2012 at 2:35 am |
  15. Just me

    I don't know about God's voice, but if we are talking about what the Godess looks like, I say it is a toss up between Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek.

    April 30, 2012 at 1:33 am |
    • b4bigbang

      God isn't a stinking mexican.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:35 am |
    • Just me

      Nope. God is Canadian. Proven.

      Bodes poorly for you, my racist friend.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:42 am |
  16. The R.O.T.P.

    wouldn't they like to know, by the way god does not exist.....

    April 30, 2012 at 1:22 am |
  17. James

    "Yoda, also of Star Trek"??? Did he really make a cameo in Star Trek???

    April 30, 2012 at 1:18 am |
    • Mr. Scott

      Yes, he was a Red Shirt in Episode 13, "Plan 9 From Outer Detroit." Died before the opening credits. Killed by a green Antarean sex kitten played by Christine O'Donnell.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:24 am |
  18. b4bigbang

    Observer: "My ancestors didn't make God discriminate against the handicapped. My ancestors didn't tell God he doesn't want men with crushed testicles in his church."

    Your ancestors were running men, women and children through with spears – just like everyone else's were.....

    April 30, 2012 at 1:17 am |
    • b4bigbang

      Oh, and btw, thank you for supplying more evidence for my point when you said "My ancestors didn't make God discriminate against the handicapped. My ancestors didn't tell God he doesn't want men with crushed testicles in his church."
      "Church"?
      Fact is that the old covenant with one small culture, primitive Hebrews BC, God had all those rules, and a millenium or so later God says ALL are welcome to be elders in his Church.
      Sounds like social evolution to me.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:22 am |
    • Observer

      b4bigbang,

      Let me get this straight. You are saying that God who is perfect and unchangeable might have been convinced by my ancestors to change his mind and discriminate against the handicapped?

      Are you really claiming my ancestors could have convinced God that his non-discrimination policy about handicapped people was wrong and that he should change to discriminate against them?

      Have you thought this through at all?

      April 30, 2012 at 1:23 am |
    • PILLOW PANTS

      How do you know what his ancestors did? Were you there? Believers really need to stop speaking in absolutes when it is they who have the least amount of evidence for anything they say, ever.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:37 am |
    • The Four Fluffy Kittens of the Apocalypse

      That's a really cool name, Pillow Pants! Nice surreaalist angle.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:45 am |
    • b4bigbang

      Observer, s l o w l y re-read my previous posts re social evolution and God working with cultures on their own level.
      My 'tot' analogy? The other stuff i said?
      Also, i still challenge you to quit looking at just one [discrimination] tree and missing the forest.
      You've still refused to criticize God for not giving primitive Man future technology such as clean energy, etc.

      April 30, 2012 at 1:52 am |
    • Observer

      b4bigbang,

      The Bible supports slavery; discriminates against women; and discriminates against the handicapped and you really think we should ignor those "trees in a forest". Wow! So the forest isn't perfect and we shouldn't look at every tree. Some faulty workmanship there. Wasn't the forest SUPPOSED to be perfect?

      It's all pick-and-choose from the Bible anyway.

      April 30, 2012 at 2:08 am |
  19. toadears

    What a dumb question. You've outdone yourselves! congrats!

    April 30, 2012 at 1:13 am |
  20. Daws

    If you seriously are having auditory hallucinations like this, something beyond the usual feelings and gut impulses most of us deal with, you should seriously get yourself checked out.

    April 30, 2012 at 1:12 am |
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About this blog

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.