April 30th, 2012
09:44 AM ET

What's Joel Osteen's secret?

- CNN Belief Blog

Filed under: Christianity • TV

soundoff (68 Responses)
  1. Cynthia Googe

    Sorry for the typos..I have never commented before : That's : In the words of Rodney King, " Can't We All Just Get Along?" Roddy is one of my Heros . Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors too. This is a viscious place. I'm going to take my marbles and go home now.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:00 pm |
  2. Cynthia Googe

    Dear Chris I am a " cradle Episcopian" Our Church is dying..because we don't have enough " players" Pastor Olsteen has created a place with open try outs. You can't participate in something you don't know about. Or maybe you knew about it but
    thought you weren't good enough to make the team. But you can watch and learn. My Church is gasping for air. Pastor Osteen's is what is it? 40,000 strong. Are we striving for the same goal? Over course!! Imagine where America could be with
    nonpartisan politics. Is it his method that disturb so many? I have to agree with Machiavelli on this one. The ends do justify the means. In the inimitable Rodney King, " can we all just get along?

    April 30, 2012 at 9:23 pm |
  3. What's wrong with you

    I can't believe the dark content of so many human hearts, as revealed in this and millions of "comments" sections online every day. It confirms the Bible's diagnosis of the sinful, fallen nature of man. Joel is speaking nothing but uplifting statements, rapid-fire positive and inspiring speech and it is utterly beyond the comprehension of most people. You can watch him for free; he doesn't make anything from that. How does such faultless positivity elicit such shameless negativity? that should be the real question asked here.

    April 30, 2012 at 8:38 pm |
  4. Welled

    Why its his southern accent and his mint julip recipie. Hey a Hebrew or semtie or whatever he is with a southern accent can be the 9th wonder of the world to someone from NY that hasn't heard it before. Oh lawdy daisy the yankees are invadin texas. Go see about that now will ya. I think he talks about southern manners or southern matters and outer space theory. How to stay positive when your all in debt. After all he borrows a ton of cash and keeps going why can't everyone else.

    April 30, 2012 at 7:39 pm |
    • afe


      April 30, 2012 at 8:19 pm |

    It's Victoria's Secret. He's got some mormon lingerie under that expensive suit of his.

    April 30, 2012 at 6:55 pm |
  6. Todd E

    He is a fraud. How can he call himself a Christian if he will not even stand and say that Christ is the only way to heaven? It is unfortunate that so many people have bought into his empty, feel-good version of spirituality. For a Christian to say that the only way to the Father is through Christ is not a judgment, it is a statement of belief in a principle that is very, very clear in the Bible. yet Osteen would have you believe that it is judgement. He is lukewarm and the Lord will spit him out.

    April 30, 2012 at 5:45 pm |

      ALL christians are frauds. This guy is no different.

      April 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm |
  7. Atheism is not healthy for children and other living things

    Prayer changes things

    April 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm |
    • Jesus

      Prayer doesn’t not; you are such a LIAR. You have NO proof it changes anything! A great example of prayer proven not to work is the Christians in jail because prayer didn't work and their children died. For example: Susan Grady, who relied on prayer to heal her son. Nine-year-old Aaron Grady died and Susan Grady was arrested.

      An article in the Journal of Pediatrics examined the deaths of 172 children from families who relied upon faith healing from 1975 to 1995. They concluded that four out of five ill children, who died under the care of faith healers or being left to prayer only, would most likely have survived if they had received medical care.

      The statistical studies from the nineteenth century and the three CCU studies on prayer are quite consistent with the fact that humanity is wasting a huge amount of time on a procedure that simply doesn’t work. Nonetheless, faith in prayer is so pervasive and deeply rooted, you can be sure believers will continue to devise future studies in a desperate effort to confirm their beliefs!*

      April 30, 2012 at 5:09 pm |
    • danielwalldammit

      Has Allah answered your prayer yet?

      April 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm |
    • Hitchens

      allah is an idol

      April 30, 2012 at 8:27 pm |
  8. danielwalldammit

    He knows that Christianity is not about Jesus, it is about the American middle class. Osteen cuts to the core of the faith. The man is a true purist!

    April 30, 2012 at 4:14 pm |
    • just sayin

      Yep, it is business and him and his plastic wife are laughing all the way to the bank. She really needs to get a more current hairstyle.

      May 1, 2012 at 5:38 pm |
  9. Tom's brother Perry

    Dang, I knew that the angry bitter people would come out in numbers on this one. But dang, Mondays are not good for religious haters.

    April 30, 2012 at 1:21 pm |
  10. tribecagal

    Joel Osteen's secret. To quote P.T. Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute."

    April 30, 2012 at 1:06 pm |
  11. fred

    His secret? It's the PLASTIC HAIR. Joel puts it on his face and lips too. Vaseline will do it, or In a pinch, epoxy – the 5 minute stuff. That and the cheap looking super-cheesy suit. Gotta be cheesy. The stinkier the better.

    Stupid sheeple fall for that shit. What a joke.

    April 30, 2012 at 12:45 pm |
  12. timmy t

    'Joel Osteen' nailed it. Comment section now closed.

    April 30, 2012 at 12:15 pm |
  13. Reality

    Calling upon history and rational thought via a prayer–


    The Apostles' Creed 2011: (updated by yours truly based on the studies of NT historians and theologians of the past 200 years)

    Should I believe in a god whose existence cannot be proven
    and said god if he/she/it exists resides in an unproven,
    human-created, spirit state of bliss called heaven?????

    I believe there was a 1st century CE, Jewish, simple,
    preacher-man who was conceived by a Jewish carpenter
    named Joseph living in Nazareth and born of a young Jewish
    girl named Mary. (Some say he was a mamzer.)

    Jesus was summarily crucified for being a temple rabble-rouser by
    the Roman troops in Jerusalem serving under Pontius Pilate,

    He was buried in an unmarked grave and still lies
    a-mouldering in the ground somewhere outside of

    Said Jesus' story was embellished and "mythicized" by
    many semi-fiction writers. A bodily resurrection and
    ascension stories were promulgated to compete with the
    Caesar myths. Said stories were so popular that they
    grew into a religion known today as Catholicism/Christianity
    and featuring dark-age, daily wine to blood and bread to body rituals
    called the eucharistic sacrifice of the non-atoning Jesus.

    (References used are available upon request.)

    April 30, 2012 at 12:09 pm |
  14. Joel Osteen

    Well, the secret is actually a number of secrets.

    First, get yourself a big greasy hair helmet – it's a televangelist trademark. Wear very expensive clothes, because the flock will assume God loves you extra much if you are in an Armani.

    Second, always smile. Practice it in front of a miror, do it when you are taking a dump, keep that thing on your face even if you are suffering a nasty scorching case of the clap again and the tranny hooker used his/her teeth again, just like in Reno and Memphis last year. It's a particular smile, smug, like you are not just happy but are brimming full of God's personal favor, so it has to be big, self-satisfied and condescending. It cannot be too phony looking for the believers – only the non-believers will spot the obvious insincerity. But we already know how to deal with them and keep the rubes docile.

    Third, don't go to any religious school, for that just restricts all of the things you can say. Much better to be able to say whatever the moment takes to crack those wallets open and get the cash flow flowing. It's a disadvantage to know what you are talking about, and the yokels don't know the Bible anyway. You can say anything.

    Fourth, and most important, inherit the whole thing from daddy.

    April 30, 2012 at 11:30 am |
    • just sayin

      I am sure he took notes from another con called Benny Hinn.

      May 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm |
  15. Bo

    “His biggest secret is that he is one of the Knights Who Say Ni.”

    “Parasites always have the same secret."

    “They leach off unsuspecting victims."

    “I hope one of them wise up and take him out."

    “Whatever secrets that sleazeball has are almost sure to be illegal."

    “And in case anyone missed it, I don't like him, don't trust him, and would love to see him go to prison for fraud, for starters."

    All this hateful negativity and he has done nothing to hurt you any one of you.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:42 am |
    • Nice try

      All this negativity towards Hitler when he never did anything against you.

      April 30, 2012 at 11:07 am |
    • Trinka

      Nice cut and paste job there, Bo.
      If you don't understand what the Knights of Ni are, admit it and go on with your life...there wasn't one ounce of negativity in my comment.

      April 30, 2012 at 11:19 am |
    • Trinka

      Although I *am* honored that I took the #1 spot.

      April 30, 2012 at 11:21 am |
    • TruthPrevails :-)

      His support of Kirk Cameron is reason enough to think the man is bat sh!t crazy! Anyone who supports ho.mo.phobia is not to be trusted in the world.

      April 30, 2012 at 11:55 am |
    • Bo

      @ Nice Try. Very poor try. You would compare Joel Osteen to Hitler? Has he don something to hurt you? Look, I’m not a fan of Olsteen, I don’t subscribe to his theology, but I think he is a good man, and I’d never ever compare him to Hitler. How can you compare him to Hitler?

      @ Trinka, You are right, I did copy and paste the posts, but if you didn’t mean Knights of Ni as a negative remark, how do you make it a compliment? (BTW, I do most all my posts off line then copy and paste.)

      @Truthprevails, I’m sorry, I don’t really follow celibs, and I don’t know anything about Kirk Camron and his support of ho.mo.phobia. The one thing that I see about Olsteen, is he does not want to offend any one, whether or not that is good or bad I don’t know, I won’t judge.

      April 30, 2012 at 12:17 pm |
    • Jeanine

      Bo: "I won't judge"


      April 30, 2012 at 12:59 pm |
  16. momoya

    He's an ear-tickler.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:37 am |
  17. Trinka

    His biggest secret is that he is one of the Knights Who Say Ni.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:20 am |
  18. MarcTTF

    That he's a charlatan?

    April 30, 2012 at 10:16 am |
  19. William Demuth

    Parasites always have the same secret.

    They leach off unsuspecting victims.

    I hope one of them wise up and take him out.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:15 am |
  20. Jeanine

    Whatever secrets that sleazeball has are almost sure to be illegal.

    April 30, 2012 at 10:08 am |
    • Jeanine

      And in case anyone missed it, I don't like him, don't trust him, and would love to see him go to prison for fraud, for starters.

      April 30, 2012 at 10:09 am |
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