My Take: I don't know if Jesus was married (and I don't care)
September 21st, 2012
09:28 AM ET

My Take: I don't know if Jesus was married (and I don't care)

Editor's Note: Stephen Prothero, a Boston University religion scholar and author of "The American Bible: How Our Words Unite, Divide, and Define a Nation," is a regular CNN Belief Blog contributor.

By Stephen Prothero, Special to CNN

A few years ago I wrote a book about Jesus in the American imagination. What I learned along the way is that the American Jesus is a Gumby-like figure who can twist and turn in almost any direction.

Our Jesus has been black and white, gay and straight, a socialist and a capitalist, a pacifist and a warrior, a civil rights activist and a Ku Klux Klansman. Over the American centuries, he has stood not on some unchanging rock of ages but on the shifting sands of economic circumstances, political calculations and cultural trends.

Part Proteus, part Paul (who called himself "all things to all men"), he became during the Victorian period a sentimental Savior. During the Progressive era of Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Riders, he flexed his muscles and carried a big stick. During the counterculture of the 1960s and 1970s, he grew his hair long and strummed his guitar for peace.

Now, in an era in which Americans are debating who can marry and have sex with whom, we are given a Jesus who has given his body and soul in marriage, at least if we are to believe the scrap of ancient papyrus soon coming, via Harvard Divinity School professor Karen King and the Smithsonian Channel, to a television set near you.

“Jesus said, ‘My wife,'” this Coptic papyrus reads, and since King announced her finding at a Coptic studies conference in Rome on Tuesday, the world is trying to imagine not only what manner of man (and god) this might be, but what sort of woman he might have taken into his marriage bed.

As for the question everyone is asking — was Jesus married? — the only correct answer is that we do not know.

There are all sorts of reasons to be skeptical about this find. First, according to King it is owned by an anonymous dealer who is willing to give the fragment to Harvard, but only if it buys other parts of his collection.

Second, we don’t yet know anything about where this fragment was supposedly found or by whom, and the world of ancient Jewish and Christian manuscripts is replete with fakes and fakers.

Third, even if the papyrus is genuine, it points only to one author quoting Jesus as referring to his wife. Perhaps that author was simply trying to push the early Christian tradition away from a preference for celibacy over marriage.

Or perhaps the reference is to some symbolic or spiritual “wife,” rather than one of the flesh-and-blood type. (In the New Testament Jesus already refers to himself as the bridegroom.)

In the end, what intrigues me about this tiny fragment (it measures roughly 1.5-by-3 inches) is the huge hype. The original Belief Blog piece on this story has over 4,000 comments and counting. And a Smithsonian documentary is in the works for September 30.

Jesus may be one of the best attested figures in the ancient world, but we still know hardly anything about him. And because he is the key figure in the largest religion in the world, we are keen to fill in the blanks.

The Jewish tradition has a name for this: midrash, which refers to a way of storytelling that fills in the gaps. This is what Americans have been doing for centuries with Jesus. Not sure where he was during his “lost years” from the end of his childhood to the beginning of his ministry? Send him off to India. Not sure how he looked? Draw a painting or carve a statue.

What is going on here, as I see it, is a reluctance to say, “I don’t know.”

The truth of the matter is that we don’t know what Jesus looked like. We don’t know where he was or what he was doing when he turned 18. And we don’t know if he was ever married or divorced.

What we do know is that we live in a country besotted with Jesus and in an age obsessed with marriage and sexuality and the body, which is why this tiny papyrus is making such big waves.

As for me, I don’t much care what Jesus thought about marriage, or whether he engaged in it. I think we as a society tend to collapse religion far too readily into bedroom questions, as if Jesus came into the world to tell us with whom we should be having sex, and how.

I’m more interested in what Jesus has to say about wealth and poverty, the rich and the poor. And there is plenty in the available record to read and heed, "if only we have ears to hear."

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Stephen Prothero.

- CNN Belief Blog contributor

Filed under: Belief • Christianity • Coptic • Jesus • Sexuality • United States

soundoff (2,026 Responses)
  1. AvdBerg

    Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6) and neither is there salvation in any other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved (Acts 4:12).

    The Jesus figure portrayed by Stephen Prothero is not the true Christ. His books and articles are all heresies. He might be a so-called scholar at Boston University but he is spiritually blind and unless he repents he is unable to understand the Word of God as it is spiritually discerned (1 Cor. 2:14). Please read the article ‘Repent’, listed on our website http://www.aworlddeceived.ca and learn what it means to repent. It means a lot more than what by nature you have been made to believe.

    For a better understanding we invite you to read the articles ‘Boston University – School of Theology and Stonehill College’ and ‘Can Christianity or Any Other Religion Save You?, listed on our website.

    Also, are those that are referred to as ‘Christians’ by the media really the followers of Jesus Christ or do they follow after a false Christ (Matthew 24:24) and why is there so much division amongst religions? Please read on.

    The above mentioned article by Stephen Prothero is a good example how distorted things have become in society with the media industry as the main culprit.

    The local media, including CNN, Fox and your local TV stations and newspapers are a very important element of social and political behavior, as society is shaped by what it sees, hears and reads and it is conditioned by the events that influence the mind of every person. You reap what you sow.

    To allow anyone to be directed by public opinion is dangerous because most public opinion is the view of the media. If the media does not like something, their bias taints information getting to the public, and this forms public opinion. Public opinion is never based on research and facts. The public uses the media for its sole source of information and for this reason social behavior will continue to deteriorate and wax worse and worse (2 Timothy 3:13).

    For a better understanding of the role of the media we invite you to read the articles ‘Influence of the Media’ and ‘CNN Belief Blog – Sign of the Times’, listed on our website http://www.aworlddeceived.ca

    The media does not provide accurate information on ‘Religion’ as it continues to ignore the truth and the history of deceptions (John 14:17). They only report how they want you to hear things. They have created the big chasm that now exists without offering any solutions.

    Consider the truth about Catholicism, Islam, Mormonism, Judaism, Evangelicals and Christianity and all other religions and ask yourself the following question.

    Are so-called Catholics, Muslims, Mormons, Israelites and Evangelicals and all those that call themselves ‘Christians’ followers of the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ and the Word of God, or do they follow after an image of a false god and a false Christ (Matthew 24:24; 2 Cor. 11:13-15; Gal. 4:8)?

    For a better understanding of the history of Catholicism, Islam, Mormonism, Christianity, and Judaism and its spread throughout the world, we invite you to read the articles ‘The Mystery Babylon’, ‘Can Christianity or Any Other Religion Save You?’, ‘World History and Developments in the Middle East’ and ‘Clash of Civilizations’, listed on our website http://www.aworlddeceived.ca

    Mitt Romney’s and Barack Obama’s faith does not stand in the teachings of Christ but rather in an image of the spirit and the god of this world and a false Christ (Matthew 24:24; 2 Cor. 11:13-15; Gal. 4:8).

    For a better understanding of the history of the Mormon Church and Mitt Romney’s quest for the Presidency of the USA, we invite you to read the articles ‘Mormon Church – Cult and Spiritual Harlot’ and ‘Barack Obama – President of the United States of America’, listed on our website.

    All of the other pages and articles listed on our website explain how and by whom this whole world has been deceived as confirmed in Revelation 12:9.

    September 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm |
    • Sony Bozo & Chair

      wow I finally don't understand all the BullChit 😉

      September 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
    • AvdBerg

      Sony Bozo & Chair

      But the natural man (like yourself) receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him, neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned (1 Cor. 2:15).

      For this reason our message remains the same: Ye must repent and turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan (whose spirit you are of) unto God (Acts 26:18).

      But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man (1 Cor 2:15).

      September 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm |
    • Athy

      Man, what a pile of crap! Why, in this day and age, do people believe this bullshit?

      September 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm |
    • Steve

      Where there is integrity, there is no need of bibles.
      I'm afraid your a blind man reading books.....

      September 22, 2012 at 4:28 pm |

      This poster is a TROLL on this site so when you see them post, just ignore it. They are proven liars and only want to sell their book to support their cult plus their website also full of lies. Don't bother visiting their site, click the report abuse link to get rid of this TROLL!!!

      September 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm |
  2. Steve

    Stephen; the Catholic church has cared deeply about his marital state. Believing him to be unmarried, they have said that, following his example, women cannot be priests (i.e. spiritual leaders).....a very convenient mechanism for suppressing and oppressing half the population. If it turns out that he was married, and that there may have been a female disciple, then they will have to invent a new story. When people turn off their brains and blindly belive the stories of priests, we have (now) a world of inequality and suffering.

    September 22, 2012 at 3:27 pm |
    • AvdBerg


      Please read the first item 'Celibacy is a man-made doctrine' on the Current Events page of our website http://www.aworlddeceived.ca

      September 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm |
    • Steve

      I have a couple of small problems with your website's ideas, AvdBerg.
      First, I claim, with equal validity, the the bible is Not unequivocally the word of a god.
      And secondly, religions have been interpreting the bible for centuries, for their own (sometimes nefarious) ends.
      Bottom line is, we'd have been much better without it. There are plenty of moral guidelines that a thoughtful person can embrace from many religions and philosophies; without being forced to be a zealot about any particular one.
      Where there is integrity, there is no need of bibles.

      September 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm |
  3. 200 TON HAMMER

    Again True christians know About URIM THUMIM
    fact check that

    September 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      Spewing hinduism, absurdity like he knew word Church, dungeon of hinduism, illegality. he had nothing to do with hinduism, pagan ism GAWD Jesus, skunk, go hang your filthy a ss.

      September 22, 2012 at 6:47 pm |
  4. Marine57

    The Church is the bride of Christ, period.

    September 22, 2012 at 3:13 pm |
    • sally

      Churches are going away angry. I guess they are on their period.

      September 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      Spewing hinduism, absurdity like he knew word Church, dungeon of hinduism, illegality. he had nothing to do with hinduism, pagan ism.

      September 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm |
    • Athy

      Which church? Is it the one just down the street from my favorite bar?

      September 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
    • End Religion

      aren't marines supposed to be courageous? you're wandering through life fooled by religion because you're too afraid to accept the fact they're a farce. wimp. be brave. think it through and rely on fact. your drill sergeant might yell at you to use your head for something other than a hat rack.

      September 22, 2012 at 5:20 pm |
  5. hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

    Truth absolute hold power over every thing in existence, none other but truth absolute is the God, only a hindu, dumb, deaf and blind will deny power of truth absolute.

    September 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm |
  6. niknak

    My take;
    I don't know if jesus existed, nor do I care.

    September 22, 2012 at 2:50 pm |
    • Marine57

      The day will come that you WILL care – and regretfully.

      September 22, 2012 at 3:11 pm |
    • sally

      Nah – regret is for not living you life to the fullest and wasting it away on fairy tale fable.

      September 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm |
    • What IF

      "The day will come that you WILL care – and regretfully."

      Do you have verified evidence for this happening?

      September 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm |
    • Marine57

      @ What If – "Do you have verified evidence for this happening?"

      September 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm |
    • sally

      Marine57sauced: "Yes"

      Oh that was enlightening. NOT!

      September 22, 2012 at 3:50 pm |
    • End Religion

      don't be too hard on Marine57. Religion survives via ignorance. Military organizations can only function within that same realm of "do not think, only do as your told." Its natural for Marine to take the word of pedophile priests and barking sergeants, who are basically one and the same. The big difference I see is that I respect his blind allegiance while protecting our country, but I despise his blind allegiance to a god for which there is no need or use. So he's not all bad...

      September 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm |
    • niknak

      Yeah Marine, and won't you be so happy to be standing there watching me being cast into the enternal fire.
      You get to waive your lily white finger in may face as I am cast out.
      Won't that be a great day!
      Hurry up and die so you can get there before me. I don't think they have Tivo in heaven to record my fate.

      September 22, 2012 at 5:33 pm |
  7. Freddo

    Someone scratches a story on a strip of papyrus ... and now it's being held up as authoritative?

    If this is what passes for analysis at Harvard Divinity ... wow. Pathetic.

    September 22, 2012 at 2:47 pm |
    • niknak

      2000 years ago some scribes wrote down the fables of some goat herders and it is not supposed to be authoritative?!?
      How pathetic are you fundies!

      September 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm |
  8. john2012

    I am fascinated withn the various theories we mortals have about Jesus. Unfortunately we are blinded from knowing the reality of the "other side," beyond mortality (however, there is some revelation as to that reality). Unless we are inspired by known revelation, we who survive have to learn from our invisible celestial friends who Jesus was and who He is as the Creator Son of our universe.

    September 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm |
    • Freddo

      "there is some revelation as to that reality" ... really?

      Don't you mean there are stories people tell, but zero evidence... same as there is behind all religion .. stories, but zero evidence.

      Seems to me if "God" had a fraction of the "power" people attribute to him, the world would be a very different place.

      Instead, all we have are a bunch of stories.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:50 pm |
    • niknak

      That is true Freddo.
      And it is also true the the believers of those stories will kill you unless you also claim to believe in them.
      Nothing shows how much you love your god(s) then killing others who don't believe.....

      September 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm |
  9. CielExpédié

    Vous athées croient aux mensonges du Talmud. Quand allez-vous croire à la vérité, qui nous est donnée par Dieu à son don pour nous la Sainte Bible? Mon camel-toe avalé la remorque voisins. Il est temps pour vous de commencer votre marche avec Jésus ou brûler brûler brûler.


    September 22, 2012 at 2:26 pm |
    • niknak

      Je crois pas en jeebus, et les otres dieus aussi.
      Peut-etre tu marche avec les amis imaginaire, c'est ton problem.
      Moi, je mon fiche pour les dieus, parsce-que ils n'existent pas.

      September 22, 2012 at 3:00 pm |
    • old ben

      Qu'est-ce qui est avec Jébus et la chose de pied ? Était il toujours à la gym ?

      September 22, 2012 at 3:06 pm |
    • rio 2016

      Um pau, uma pedra, até não temos um bocado do seu osso...

      September 22, 2012 at 3:13 pm |
    • CielExpédié

      Il est temps pour vous de commencer votre marche avec Jésus, notre Seigneur et Sauveur. Tout dans la Bible est vrai à 100%. Je garde les puces et les tiques shamp.o.oing dans ma d..o.u.che. J'espère que vous apprécierez votre ver personnelle manger vos graisses qui s'égouttent pendant toute l'éternité.


      September 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm |
    • la vérité est dite

      sortez de ma nation! sortez de mon parc de caravane!

      September 22, 2012 at 4:04 pm |
  10. hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

    Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

    September 22, 2012 at 2:21 pm |
  11. hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

    What does word " GOD" represent? any one ? no noun please, just the purpose. Know the meanings of word, before speak the word. Do not be a hindu, ignorant.

    September 22, 2012 at 1:54 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      pls enlighten us. you tell us what it means.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:56 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      Word God represents truth absolute, foundation of existence and proven by quantum Physics, foundation of American consti tution without any label in hinduism divination of from truth absolute by any argument.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:07 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      But still – NO DOGS – please.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:15 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      No hindu rabid dogs please, conversation is between human.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm |
    • End Religion

      god means "loving hindus"

      September 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm |
  12. hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

    Answer: Only by hindu absurdity of a hindu, hindu and pagan. Filthy Christian Captain Crunch dog. Filthy pagan hindu pig dog. Filthy Randy Jackson dog. Filthy hebrew national beef dog. Filthy Ron Jeremy foot-long dog.

    NO DOGS!! Who let them be out? Quran means nothing else but path of triple abdullah absolute quantified. please visit ahmadinebinpaid.com/blog.html and click on word Choice to open file. But turn virus protection off before.

    September 22, 2012 at 1:24 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      A fine display of hinduism, absurdity of a hindu, ignorant, use your own ID, hindu, ID thief.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:27 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      are you absolutely insane?

      September 22, 2012 at 1:29 pm |
    • FDromm

      Bootyfunk, that is a poe troll. It appears to be CS/UD, but it might be someone else.
      Whoever they are, it's all fake stuff. Don't bother responding to this nonsense.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm |
    • hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

      The one asking question is real and other one is hindu, fake, what are you afraid of, your hindism, ignorance?

      September 22, 2012 at 2:17 pm |
    • End Religion

      those opposed to hindus are pig-dog-man-bears with bad skin

      September 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm |
  13. Bootyfunk

    if jesus existed (and there's no proof that he did), he was just crazy cult leader, telling everyone he was the son of god, telling everyone to get on their knees and worship him. if jesus did exist, he never did anything magic - only children believe someone can turn water into wine (and alcohol is a drug btw, so kinda makes jesus a drug dealer). grow up, realize jesus is as real as santa claus and the easter bunny.

    September 22, 2012 at 1:23 pm |
    • Leo

      Booty, May I suggest you read some of what Jesus taught!!

      Matthew 5

      5 When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. 2 He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

      3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

      4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

      5 “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

      6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

      7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

      8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

      9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

      10 “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

      11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.

      12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm |
    • sally

      Evidently, Matthew was a hunk, but other than that, sorry "Leo/truth be told/whoever/whatever" – just an ordinary guy who had to make some quick cash so he had to buy into the whole sell-jesus thing. It was quite popular at the time, kind of like Amway.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      here's more teachings from jesus. here's where jesus tells slaves to obey their masters if they want any chance of getting into heaven:

      Luke 12:37-38 (New American Standard Bible)
      37 "Blessed are those slaves whom the master will find on the alert when he comes; truly I say to you, that he will gird himself to serve, and have them recline at the table, and will come up and wait on them.
      38 "Whether he comes in the second watch, or even in the third, and finds them so, blessed are those slaves.”

      jesus supported slavery, arguably the most evil inst.itution ever inflicted by one man on another. you would think he would have gotten that one right. you'd think he'd tell slaves NOT to obey. you'd think he'd especially tell masters to release their slaves, that no human should ever be owned. but he didn't. he tells slaves to obey. i don't think jesus is the best example of good ethics.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm |
    • Leo

      Thanks Sally for prooving the scriptures right! “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me."

      September 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm |
    • truth be trolled

      Leo: "Thanks Sally for prooving the scriptures right! “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me."

      Now Leo – what you wrote is a perfect example of why they let you go from the:
      Evangelical Fortune Cookie Co..

      September 22, 2012 at 1:52 pm |
    • Leo

      Booty, You don't even understand what you are writing about, do you?

      The Slaves you are quoting are Christian Servants, who are awaiting the return of the Lord.

      31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

      32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

      33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

      34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

      35 Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning;

      36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.

      37 Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.

      38 And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants.

      39 And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through.

      40 Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:53 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      here's another goodie from jesus:

      Mathew 10:34-36
      34 "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
      35 "For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
      36 and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household."

      yikes, doesn't sound like love and compassion to me...

      September 22, 2012 at 1:55 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      yes, jesus is uses a slavery analogy - which means he believes in slaves. you don't use an analogy like that unless you do. he's saying be like slaves, subservient to their masters, as you should be to god. obviously he believes in slavery...

      don't try to sugar coat it. i know you don't like it, but that's what it says. he also says about slaves:

      47 And that servant, who knew his lord's will, and made not ready, nor did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes;

      he's talking about beating people here.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:59 pm |
  14. hinduism source of hindufilthyracism.

    What does word " GOD" represent? any one ? no noun please, just the purpose.

    September 22, 2012 at 1:20 pm |
  15. FDromm

    I see someone doesn't like what I say here. Well, that's just too bad, isn't it?

    September 22, 2012 at 1:19 pm |
    • truth be trolled

      Hmm – I wonder who that "someone" is – could it possibly be:

      the idiot who degenerates to:
      "Atheism in not . ." degenerates to his other name:
      "Ronald Regonzo" degenerates to his other name:
      "captain america" degenerates to his other name:
      "truth be told" degenerates to his other name:
      "just sayin" degenerates to his other name:
      "TGIS" degenerates to his other name:
      "WOW" generates to his other name:
      "pervert alert" amongst many others, of course.
      Such a pitiful little troll.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm |
    • FDromm

      Oh, you mean Chad / Rachel? Yes, I would bet that is who keeps pressing the abuse button. Anyone who hates Canadians that much is clearly insane anyway. Don't worry, I don't take it personal. It's just sad that some people hate our American freedoms as much as this person does.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:14 pm |
    • tallulah13

      Hey, Dromm, I accidentally hit the abuse button on your comment about all the fictional characters. I'm sorry. I thought it was the reply button (because I wasn't paying attention). I have no problem with what you write. I rather enjoy it.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm |
    • FDromm

      Tallulah13, from what I understand, it takes more than one hit on the button to do anything. Something like 4-10 hits. I'm not sure of the number. Don't worry about it. I'm quite used to it from others.
      And thanks for the kind words. You're not too bad yourself. 😉

      September 22, 2012 at 2:35 pm |
  16. Bootyfunk

    was jesus married? how about hercules? king arthur? these are all compelling questions. which mythological figures were married and which weren't?!?

    September 22, 2012 at 1:14 pm |
    • FDromm

      Santa Claus = married
      Harry Potter = married
      Frodo Baggins = single
      Adam = single
      Jason Bourne = single
      Batman = single
      Superman = single
      Jesus = unknown
      Mickey Mouse = single
      Buddha = single
      Mohammad = married
      King Arthur = married
      Ariel the Mermaid = married
      Tooth Fairy = single
      Boogieman = single
      Rumplestiltskin = single
      Pinocchio = single
      Oh who cares anyway

      September 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm |
    • tallulah13

      Wait! Didn't Superman marry Lois Lane? At least in one of his incarnations?

      September 22, 2012 at 2:20 pm |
    • FDromm

      You might be right. I haven't kept up with all the different Superman stories at all.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm |
    • End Religion

      today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins birthday. Coincidentally, its mine as well! I'm celebrating by doing my favorite thing: berating religious nuts.

      September 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm |
    • What IF

      Happy Birthday, @End Religion!

      .... and many more.

      September 22, 2012 at 5:58 pm |
  17. old ben

    OK, so it turns out that Jesus was married to keep up appearances, but really had a foot-fetish thing and really liked spending most of his time with that disciple that he loved so much – could have been a dude or possibly a hermaphrodite. And he didn't say much about his wife because she was, well let's say sort of a Michele Bachmann type – you know, very reptilian. OK big deal – sounds like he still was a pretty decent dude – although if he was real, we all really know he was just an ordinary man.

    September 22, 2012 at 1:01 pm |
    • Bootyfunk

      washboard abs, long hair and hung out with 12 dudes.... jesus was G.A.Y.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:20 pm |
    • FDromm

      It's entirely possible that Paul made the whole thing up. Whoever wrote these things was clearly gay, though.
      Jesus takes off his towel and proceeds to use it to clean the feet of the 12 other guys wearing towels? Gay.
      Paul's "thorn in the flesh" is about being ho.rny. 12 guys were picked out of crowds? They had "the look".
      Putting their manly head on Jesus' chest? Gay. Jesus weeping for his "beloved" Lazarus? Gay.
      Loaves and fishes? Communism.
      And every Jew of those times, no matter how gay they were, were required to get married...just like all those Republicans who get caught every year. All married, with kids, and gay. The GOP is still in the closet.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:22 pm |
    • old ben

      Now FDromm – please – between your words and this rubbery wrist rest thing, I'm getting a woody. But what makes things even more ludicrous is how shaky the support is for Paul being anything special. As many have pointed out, there is not much more credibility for Paul than there is for Joseph Smith. It is so sad to see all that weird crap hinged on things that so desperately lack foundation.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm |
    • old ben

      And when I say weird cra p – I mean most of the weird tenets of the Catholic church, for instance. But obviously any
      bible-thu mping religion to me is without foundation as well.

      September 22, 2012 at 2:38 pm |
  18. truth be told

    That's part of what makes it hell.

    September 22, 2012 at 12:57 pm |
    • sally

      What is "that"? And why do you think you are an authority on hell?

      September 22, 2012 at 1:14 pm |
    • Mo Hawk

      @truth be told

      Given and opportunity to explain your beliefs, you have done naught be make up things not even in the bible. Who do you think you are talking to?

      September 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm |
    • truth be told

      check previous page.

      September 22, 2012 at 1:59 pm |
    • tallulah13

      If you are responding to a comment on the previous page, shouldn't you have just hit the "Reply" button?

      September 22, 2012 at 2:21 pm |
    • FDromm

      There is no "Hell". Without a body, who can feel anything? Without a brain, who can realize anything or think?
      There is no "god" who cares what my pen1s looks like. If there was, it would not need mutilating unless the "god" was weak and psychotic.
      Your "god" wants you to be as stupid and dumb as an animal. That is the whole point of the Garden of Eden story.
      Your "sin" is that your brain is more complicated than most others in the animal kingdom. Go get a lobotomy and maybe your "god" will see you as "sinless". LOL

      September 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm |
  19. FDromm

    A scrap of paper is proof of nothing but that the paper was made.
    Written words are not proof of anything but that the words were written.
    There is no magic. There are no "gods".
    If Jesus existed he is long dead and good riddance.

    September 22, 2012 at 12:55 pm |
  20. save the world and slap some sense into a christard today!

    Who needs a married Jeebzus when you can have a king??


    September 22, 2012 at 12:49 pm |
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About this blog

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.