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May 22nd, 2013
08:34 AM ET
My take: Keep bad theology out of Oklahoma
By Ian Punnett, Special to CNN (CNN) - “God never gives us more than we can handle.” God, have I learned to hate that cliche. As a clergy person, as a hospital chaplain intern and as a father, I have come to believe that, at best, that platitude is a classic example of meaningless bumper-sticker theology. It's easily said and only makes sense when it goes by you so fast you don’t have time to think about it. At worst, however, claiming that God scales a tragedy up or down depending on our ability to handle loss is as heartless as it is thoughtless. In the deadly aftermath of the tornado that destroyed so much of Moore, Oklahoma, pain is only compounded by the implication that somehow the survivors are complicit in the death of a loved one because of their strength as a person. In this view, if God is only giving me what I can handle, then it would seem my boys would be a lot safer if I were weak. Follow the CNN Belief Blog on Twitter Anybody who has stood in the reception line at a child’s funeral likely has suffered through the repetition of this dubious claim and its equally insidious cousin, “God must have needed a new quarterback (or ballerina) up in heaven,” another expression that has hurt more people than it has healed. Instead of simply saying, “I am so sorry this has happened” or “I am heartsick over what you are going through” or “This is just so wrong,” some mourners attempt to explain the unexplainable by forcing the world into the “Everything happens for a reason” paradigm. Bumper-sticker theology of this type reorders the universe less for the benefit of the grief-stricken and more for the benefit of the person offering it. Because what could be reasonable about the death of a child? Deadly tornadoes can be understood scientifically, to be sure, but there is nothing reasonable about a tornado wiping out a school full of frightened children. CNN Belief: Who hears #PrayersForOklahoma? A tornado is not the finger of God squashing us like bugs on a sidewalk. If weather were God’s instrument of justice and tornado victims were singled out to reward the good or punish the bad, then meteorologists would be theologians. In researching my book "How to Pray When You’re Pissed at God (Or Anyone Else For That Matter)," I spoke with dozens of people who told me that they lost their ability to pray - at a time when they needed it most - when family and friends pressured them into believing that God took their loved one on purpose, and that they were supposed to feel good about it. In Oklahoma the death toll is 24, and it's expected to rise. I believe that God stands innocently with all the victims. The difference between those who lived and those who died is not the difference between those who had more or less faith, but the random difference between those who turned left and those who turned right. In our hearts, we might crave the order of a world where God never gives us more than we can handle, but ultimately platitudes are placebos. They only work some of the time and their effectiveness requires the buy-in of the recipient. CNN’s Belief Blog: The faith angles behind the biggest stories If a bereaved parent finds peace in believing that God needed a little quarterback in heaven, far be it from me to challenge that perspective. That said, in the face of tragedy, I believe that the faithful can best serve victims with sympathetic ears and warm hugs in what is called “a ministry of presence.” If they want to cry, cry with them. If they want to laugh and tell stories, smile through the pain, and if they want to yell “Why, God, why?” at heaven, then shake your fist too and leave the question unanswered for now. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ian Punnett.
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The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.  |
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Editor's Note: The Rev. Ian Punnett is the author of 
As I see it, the old cosmology in which every event is interpreted as God's judgment, good and bad, is just dead. It no longer makes sense to anyone, yet many hold on to it out of fear. As a group, humans will make no more progress until we stop looking to the Bible for authority on such things. The Bible actually holds us back because it tells of a world in which God picks winners and losers. My struggle is finding a place where I can grow spiritually without having to cave to this nonsense. For today, my answer is to give to those helping out in OK since I am unable to go myself right now.
The good news is, no one believes in God anymore.
CNN puts this on the front page? Now?
when would you prefer?
Those who trust in God and in Jesus Christ, God's only Son will not Panic. All others will panic.
Fear is not a sin and serves a purpose.
Panic drives the emotionally driven and stress hinders those spiritually blinded on both sides of the fences.
That is the kind of bad theology the author is addressing. My grandfather is currently dying, and I can do nothing about it. I have found that it is hard, really hard, to pray, yet I take solace in knowing that the Holy Spirit is praying with me and for me with "groanings too deep for words" (Rom. 8:26). When I don't know how or what to pray, my God does. Just because I might panic when things like death happen doesn't mean my faith is bad. It means that I am weak and I need to rely upon God. These kinds of things reveal to me my weakness, but I rest, as best I can, in God's strength.
That is just not true. Panic and calm is found in equal measure among believers and non-believers.
Oklahoma's Senators voted to not support Federal support for Sandy Hook. Oklahoma deserves no support from us. Sorry your kids are dead. Sorry your house is blown away. You're not part of America because you choose to be a Red state who selfishly do not want to support others. Sorry, so sad, no prayers or money
you go to hell
Get the facts before spewing your hate. Red state senators voted no to Sandy aid for the same reason conservatives always vote against excessive spending measures...waste. They were voting against all of the non-Sandy related spending that was added to the spending bill by Democrats. The real question is "why did the democrats add all of this spending to the Sandy measure?" The answer...they could spend more pork because they could villify republicans who opposed it to the sheeple and thought it would be easy money. Republicans never question the Feds role in natural disasters...its one of the few roles they should assume. I hate when good responsible people are maligned by you guys and your cult of personality. Get the facts
We don't punish people for the acts of two Senators.
Surely to god you are not suggesting there could be hypocracy in a christian state!
@SabraMonkey
Get the facts before spewing your hate. Red state senators voted no to Sandy aid for the same reason conservatives always vote against excessive spending measures...waste. They were voting against all of the non-Sandy related spending that was added to the spending bill by Democrats.
======================
You may want to get your own fact straight. 😉
States that benefited from Sandy Relief included Alaska, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas and Louisiana. Red states.
Thank you SabraMonkey for your response. I tell that to all the ignorant and uneducated. The reason why the GOP denies funding is because the Dems ALWAYS put fluff that has no business in the aid package sent forth. I remember a time when the Dems pointed fingers at the GOP when the GOP refused to sign a Defense budget because they had non-military junk in there, pointing fingers saying "see, the GOP isn't for our military." The Dems actually put Hate Crime funding, as well as other aid in the Defense Budgetin 2009 when the Dems controlled the House and Senate. This was an abuse of the legislative process and made U.S. troops "political pawns" in an unrelated social debate. Now what does Hate Crime have to do with the military?
People elect the representatives....so if they vote in reps who deny others aid, they should expect to not receive any when they need it....or to be called out as hypocrites.....which they are.
As a former Christian Minister I can appreciate this to a point. Ameri-christianity runs right back to preschool in these natural events that show such great, natural, power. "God protected US but not THEM. . .aren't WE special!" They don't say this, but the belief is their storm shelter. One reason, but not the only reason, I left the tornado of faith, is the appalling lack of that "miinistry of presence" the author mentions. The un-natural disaster of irrational faith continues to leave its path of destruction across so many communities. Sad really, when it doesn't make me angry.
HUH?? You are or were a pretend Christian?? Or got booted fer being nutso??
It was not God's Fault. It was Obama's Fault by Not Implementing The Lessons Leraned from Tornados in Tuscaloosa and Joplin both under his watch and not providing Tornado Bunkers in every school of Tornado Alley States. Instead Obama gave money for Arab Springs.
Yeah, Darn Obama. Hey, wait a minute... who writes the budget bills? Oh yeah, congress. Why didn't Sen.Coburn ask for federal money to fund the construction of such things... Wait, why is he now declining federal relief unless it comes with a budget cut???? I wonder if the people in Moore are as "principled" as their Senator?
You're wrong. Obama breathed, and the tornado started.
not breathed...farted
As if Obama could get the money from the Tea Baggers to do as you suggest. Another thing Oklahoma's Senators voted to not support Federal support for Sandy Hook. Oklahoma deserves no support from us. Sorry your kids are dead. sorry your house is blown away. You're not part of America because you choose to be a Red state who selfishly do not want to support others. Sorry so sad no prayers or money
Right. And 911 was his fault as well. And the Iraq war and Watergate and The King Slayer losing his hand.....
Obama is also to blame for the Irish Potato Famine. Just so we're clear on the facts..
Stop right there!
The King Slayer's hand IS Obama's fault!
If it weren't for all those entitlement programs,
the pesants would have been poorer,
and a Lanister could have bought his way out of trouble!
Not bad... for a preacher.
“God never gives us more than we can handle.”
Tell that to those who died. (oh right you can't)
Did you even read the article??
For those with no hope, death is tragic...for those of us with hope...death is just the beginning...death is not some punishment, that we should fear....this life is nothing like what eternity will be for believers.
@Bbac
"Did you even read the article??"
Yes. Those were two separate comments, actually. Sorry, if I wasn't clear. I thought the article was rather good, for a preacher. And also, in a similar vein as the article, that particular statement is not very good for the reason I indicated.
@Thomas,
For those without belief in your particular fantasy, death is simply the ending of a natural process and nothing to fear. As someone said, death will be exactly like before being born and I was fine with that for billions of years.
(... dying on the other hand can be very painful.)
@Thomas
For those with no hope, death is tragic...for those of us with hope...death is just the beginning...death is not some punishment, that we should fear....this life is nothing like what eternity will be for believers.
If you truly felt that way, you wouldn't be here talking about it.
I don't need hugs from con-men who like to have their hands in my pockets as well.
The is very nicely phrased "the faithful can best serve victims with sympathetic ears and warm hugs in what is called “a ministry of presence.” If they want to cry, cry with them. If they want to laugh and tell stories, smile through the pain, and if they want to yell “Why, God, why?” at heaven, then shake your fist too and leave the question unanswered for now.". At time like this make it about the people that suffered the loss not about your personal beliefs or non beliefs,removing or adding religion to the process should be their choice.
I know that belief in god brings hope to those in hopeless situations. I know that it brings comfort to those who have been beset with some terrible personal tragedy. I know these things, yet, I also know that believing them does not make the claims of a supernatural god true. No more true than a child who feels good because he believes Santa will bring him presents on Christmas morning.
"That said, in the face of tragedy, I believe that the faithful can best serve victims with sympathetic ears and warm hugs in what is called “a ministry of presence.” "
Darn right. Whether you are religious or not. Finding the will power to just "be" with someone and not try to fix their problem can be more important to that person than anything else.
When I lost my father four years ago this June, it was enough for friends and other family members just to hang out with me. I didn't require or want their solutions. I just needed time and the knoweldge that I wasn't alone.
God never promised a stress free life, a life w/out problems or pain. What he did promise was salvation through his Son – Jesus Christ.
Leprechauns never promised me unicorns, but hey, here is my invisible pink unicorn.
Go figure.
Silly humans
I cannot prove there is no god, but I can disprove every single god known.
@EdwardTr...o.k. disprove God exists. (Which God? You ask. O.k., for the sake of argument, the God understood to exist by Christians.)
no, JS....man promised salvation....a promise they are in no position to honor
Well said.
The bible is losing.
I didn't know the Bible was trying to win anything.
Excellent post! I also am offended, annoyed (sometimes amused when it doesn't involve something like kids dying) by the bumbling attempts of people who would do better to be quiet. If the only time a person thinks about weightier issues is at a periodic funeral, it may be they are not the person to offer perspective. And the days after a tragedy certainly aren't the time. It demonizes God, hurts the recipient, and makes the offerer look like a fool. As Rabbi Kushner has it "Show up and shut up." Thank you for your thoughts.
FOS
God does a fine job of demonizing himself.
Ironically, CNN brings in a few atheists to blame God for the tornado and those who survived the tornado thank God for being alive. The only reason I even watch CNN anymore is to see how much lower they will go. Their political bias is off the charts to the left and to print a story by an atheist at a time like this takes them to a new low.
"...a few atheists to blame God..."
Rediculous. If they're blaming a God, they aren't atheists. Atheists don't believe there's a God to blame. What you probably saw were lapsed or angry Christians railing against the God they feel betrayed them.
Ironically, you have no clue what an atheist is or you wouldn't have made this dumb comment
Atheists are blaming God? Really?? Think about that a second... times up! ZAP!
"Ironically, CNN brings in a few atheists to blame God for the tornado"
as someone else pointed out, atheists cannot blame something in which they do not believe
if you were to find the posts of Topher (Gopher), he is saying that man caused the storms because they "sinned", whatever the fvck that means
Of course atheists blame God. That's what their default father taught em.
Saved or lost is the choice. It's amazing the practi*tioners of their beloved dialectic don't acknowledge this.
you cannot blame something in which you do not believe, despite lol??'s blathering
There is no God, only nature and we can not fight her, only respect her. Get better protection and we will not need empty words of solace. My heart goes out to everyone touched by the disaster, but there is no God or Devil, only people, and this was not brought on by some misplaced evil. The world is not flat and religion is very antiquated and serves no usefullness in this society. Yeah, bring it on, guess you think I'm a heathen or something. Keep paying your hard earned money to some phoney minastry. Good luck with that!
"Bring it on"? You read an article in a section of the CNN site called "Belief blog" and then criticize (badly and stupidly...it's m-i-n-i-s-t-r-y by the way) those who *gasp* BELIEVE! And then you expect no backlash? lol
He's schmarter than you and probably more humble. Humbled by science.
There is a scripture that has been twisted to that "Bumper Sticker" cliche: I Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
See here, it's not about anything more than temptation. Not tornadoes or getting mugged or losing a child...but about being tempted.
If God only gave us only what we could handle, then we'd all be lazy crybabies. Hard things make us better and stronger...sometimes they break us. Sometimes it's too hard and we doubt God. Sometimes we turn to Him. God has to allow for this because we have to choose to follow Him or not. Otherwise we'd be robots.
Sad when I see this.
If god is all-knowing as christians claim he is, then "robots" are exactly what we all are.
poser, u a poser.
Has anyone noticed that the 4 stories on CNN.com regarding faith and the OK tornado express overtly atheistic views? Also, not one of the Christian writers mentioned referrenced God's Word directly. It is sad that CNN and agnostic/atheists are using the trajedy in OK to attack Jesus Christ and His followers. The Holy Bible addresses issues deeply involved in and surrounded by the OK trajedy. If we would all just read and understand His Word on such matters, we would have a clear understanding of events. God is in control. We live in a fallen, lost, and dying world full of pain and trajedy. Faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior is the only true comfort while we trod along on this side of eternity.
and christians use tragedy to attack atheists....what is your point, willy?
what was gods word on this???????
William, I can see your point. But right after a tragedy is a tough time. There certainly are times to make sure all the theological points are in a row, but when someone has just been destroyed by the loss of a child, how would it feel to them at that moment? I know the perspective offered would be done so in good faith, but the timing would be way off. And that's the point, I think, of this article: Reflecting the types of things you should say (or not say) IMMEDIATELY after a tragedy. Give it a few days (weeks, months?), whenever is appropriate, and then this article would probably be addressing the things you thought were missing. It doesn't mean someone is veering from their faith, or that they're an atheist, just because they don't address their theology point by point, in detail, at times like this. It could just be they are taking seriously the proverb that says 'there is a time for everything.'
And you Sam sound like my 10 year old boy thinking its justified that because his little sister did it to him its OK for a little "payback"...grow up and let it go.
trevor: i wonder how wee willy feels that atheists or agnostics can attack a being in which they do not believe
trevor: the belief blog is full of both sides attacking each other.
No, what I notice is that you seem to think that a Christian who doesn't express his faith the way you wish he would is an Atheist. I thought it was a wonderful post. I too prefer a thoughtful faith rather than bumper sticker theology, but that doesn't make me an atheist.
A&A's attack every word of scripture and pay university professors to do the same. They be schmart.
Don't be late fer ur appointment.
I hope someday you all find the peace you're looking for. It obviously isn't going to be found here amongst these comments.
A tornado hit. some people pray, some don't. Who cares!!! Mind your own business. There are other things to work on right now, like recovery. Help out! don't be so lame.
Fail.