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September 1st, 2013
03:26 AM ET
Do Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God?Opinion by Jeffrey Weiss, Special to CNN (CNN) - Pope Francis surprised Israeli and Palestinian leaders last month when he invited them to a special prayer ceremony at the Vatican this Sunday - not least because religion has often been the source, not the salve, of the region's conflicts. Still, Pope Francis offered his "home" - the Vatican - as the perfect place to plea for some divine assistance, and Israeli President Shimon Peres and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas dutifully agreed to attend. "The Pope has placed it in this perspective: Prayer is like a force for peace,” Vatican Secretary of State Archbishop Pietro Parolin told Vatican Radio. "We hope that there, where human efforts have so far failed, the Lord offers to all the wisdom and fortitude to carry out a real peace plan." But Sunday's special ceremony at the Vatican raises an interesting question: When Francis, Peres and Abbas bow their heads in prayer, will they be talking to the same God? After all, Jews, Christians and Muslims all trace their faiths back to a fellow named Abraham, whom they all claim was chosen for special treatment by the Almighty. Not academic The “same God” question is one theologians have hammered at for as long as there have been enough religions for the query to make sense. The question is hardly academic, though. In fact, a number of politicians, religious leaders and scholars have expressed hope in recent years that a convincing answer on the God question might dampen the violence committed in His name. Yale Divinity School theologian Miroslav Volf recently edited a book titled “Do We Worship the Same God? Jews, Christians, and Muslims in Dialogue.” In the introduction, Volf explained why the title question matters:
On the other hand, there’s CNN Belief Blog contributor and Boston University religion professor Stephen Prothero. His book on this subject is titled “God Is Not One: The Eight Rival Religions That Run The World.” Prothero writes:
In the world of politics, President George W. Bush asserted the unity side of the argument more than once in the years after the 9/11 attacks - often as a way to deflect accusations that America was at war with Islam. Bush told Al Arabiya television, “I believe there is a universal God. I believe the God that the Muslim prays to is the same God that I pray to. After all, we all came from Abraham. I believe in that universality.” Pope Francis invites Israeli, Palestinian leaders to Vatican peace talks Pope John Paul II drew from the same rhetorical well several times. “We believe in the same God, the one God, the living God, the God who created the world and brings his creatures to their perfection,” he first said in a speech to Muslims in Morocco in 1985. Looking for a more recent example? Consider the plight of Vatican envoy to Malaysia. Shortly after he arrived there last year, Archbishop Joseph Marino said that is was fine by him that Christian translations of the Bible into Malay use the word “Allah” for “God.” “Allah” is, of course, the Arabic word for God and is found in the Quran. The Christian translators explained that since most Malaysians are Muslim, it’s the word they’re most comfortable with and therefore the best choice for the translation. But many Muslim authorities in Malaysia were furious. They say Christians are slipping in the familiar word as a way to convert Muslims. And conversion of Muslims is all but illegal in Malaysia. There’s a lawsuit ongoing about the translations. Marino had to apologize for pushing into Malaysian politics. Points of disagreement So what do the “Abrahamic” religions disagree about? Among other things: the purpose of humanity, the relationship of God and humanity, sin, forgiveness, salvation, the afterlife, Jesus, Muhammad, the calendar, and the religious importance of Abraham himself. Plus the nature of God. Any summary will leave out enormous nuance. Internal divisions within religions have fueled some of the worst examples of human violence. Consider the long and frequently bloody history of troubles between Catholics and Protestants or the growing death toll of Muslim-on-Muslim attacks. But there are common elements about God widely accepted in each tradition. Judaism Start with Judaism, since it came first and established roots that carried into the other two. Jewish tradition teaches that there is one and only one God, creator of everything, and He established physical and moral laws. As Judaism’s preeminent prayer says: “The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” This God walks and talks directly with His creations – for a while. Eventually, He chooses one particular nomad (Abraham) to father a mighty nation that God sets up as an example to other nations. This God likes the smell of burning meat and demands other extremely specific physical offerings as evidence of obedience and repentance. And He gives His chosen people a particular set of laws – but doesn’t mind discussion and even argument about those laws. A famous rabbinic saying implies that every word in Judaism’s sacred texts can be understood in 70 correct (but related) ways. And human reasoning can even trump divine intention. (No kidding. It’s in the Talmud) This God judges His people every year. Tradition says he’s willing to accept imperfection, as long as it comes with repentance. He’s big on obedience, not so much on faith. He’s not nearly as attentive to the behaviors of non-Jews. (There’s a famous Jewish joke with the punch line “Would you mind choosing somebody else once in a while?”) Tradition holds that there’s a World To Come after death where moral accounts will somehow be settled. But this God is vague on details. Christianity The most obvious differences in the Christian God are the traditional teachings about the Trinity and Jesus. God is three separate persons who are also one. How? Christianity says the Trinity is a “mystery” of faith. According to Christian tradition, God begets a son who is somehow also Him but not Him to atone for Original Sin. He sacrifices that son though a brutal death and thus achieves humanity's salvation. But the son, who also is God, rises from the dead. And that sacrifice redeems eternally all who accept and believe in it. Faith, not behavior, is the essential measure of salvation. This God is willing to vastly expand what it means to be among His “chosen people.” He’s also willing to cancel many of the laws that had applied to that chosen group for this expanded membership. Orthodox Jews say that God prohibits them from eating a cheeseburger; Christians say God has no problem with them wolfing down Big Macs. Unlike the Jewish God, whose instructions are almost all about this world, the Christian God is focused more on eternal salvation: heaven and hell. Finally, for this God, much of the Jewish scriptures (which are all God’s word) are actually about foreshadowing Jesus. Including Abraham. Islam The Muslim God is a bit more like the Jewish God. There is no Trinity in Muslim tradition. Jesus was a prophet, but no more divine than other prophets. God has never has had anything like physical attributes and has no gender. (Some Muslim commentators say that the noun “Allah” is masculine, but only in the way that all nouns in some languages include gender.) Muslim tradition holds that God wants one thing from humans: Submission. The word “Islam” is defined as “submission to the will of God.” For Muslims, all true prophets in Jewish and Christian traditions were actually Muslim because they knew to submit correctly to God. Differences between Muslim, Jewish and Christian interpretations of God are due to errors that crept into the other two faiths, Islam teaches. The Muslim God, like the other two, initially demanded that Abraham sacrifice a son. But the Muslim God wanted Abraham’s son Ishmael, not Isaac, who Jewish tradition holds was offered as a the sacrifice. The Muslim God also designated, from before the world began, a perfect man to be his final prophet: Muhammad. God’s perfect truths are found only in the Quran and in the sayings of Muhammad, the hadiths. And the Muslim God, like the Christian God but unlike the Jewish God, will welcome believers to paradise and condemn many non-Muslims - exactly which ones is a matter of much discussion - to eternal torment. Final answer So do Christians Muslims, and Jews, really all worship the same God? In two major volumes on the subject recently published by scholars from various faiths and traditions, including Volf’s, the most inclusive response from these scholars is basically: Yes, and it’s our God. This is not a new way of answering the question. In 1076, Pope Gregory VII wrote this to a Muslim leader: “We believe in and confess one God, admittedly, in a different way…” But like many other religious leaders on all sides of the argument, Gregory insisted that his version of the Almighty is the one whom the others are unknowingly and incompletely worshiping. A less exclusivist set of religions might shrug off the differences. But all three claim to have the only “True Faith.” So do all three faiths actually worship the same deity, whether they call him God or Allah or Adonai? God only knows. Jeffrey Weiss is an award-winning religion reporter in Dallas.The views expressed in this column belong to Weiss. A version of this story first ran in September 2013. CNN's Daniel Burke contributed to this article. |
![]() ![]() About this blog
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team. |
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@awanderingscot
Why are you so negative? Bad day?
For the record, I am against throwing in an old article like this.
no one cares about your opinion and it didn't get recorded.
it certainly looks like it was recorded. Perhaps you need to adjust your blinders.
My aren't you friendly. What didn't get recorded? My opinion? You just replied to it.
So the opinion you repsoneded to didn't get recorded?
Wow we are either in some very deep waters here or about to crack our skulls diving into the shallow end of the pool...
The total value of the universe is necessarily zero. Therefore we came from nothing and we will return to nothing. Simple math.
Sorry, operator error.
your opinion about the origin of man means nothing.
Where did he offer anything about the origin of man?
I never mentioned the origin of man.
Error, the total value is 1
Nothing does not exist just as there is no such thing as non existence. That is the basis of proof offered by Spinoza that God exists.
You are incorrect. All things must balance, that is a law of nature. Nothingness is predicted by simple mathematics and the beginning of the universe came from absolutely nothing, like a proton popping into existence.
you're wrong
wandering scotty, you would argue that the laws of nature are wrong??
Your error demands a closed system or set limited by our universe which is not possible without discarding general relativity.
The set (universe in our example with given time and space relationships) cannot be closed or the Lagrangian becomes invariant
You're wrong again. God created the laws of nature. you need to grow up and think more maturely.
scotty, if there is no god (and there can't be) then you have to be wrong. If you have to be wrong, you are.
fred
Nothing Spinoza ever did was proof of "god. For that matter, no one has ever proved any gods.
Here is your proof God exists:
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/spinoza-modal/
fred, That is not proof of a god; even presuming that it were – it doesn't specify which god. And we know that the creation myths describing the various personal gods are incorrect.
Santa
It is God absent all the theological and anthropomorphic attributes. All those attributes from the Bible were rejected by Einstein yet Spinoza's God was not. There is some misunderstanding because Spinoza would capitalize God simply because God is not because of the attributes.
fred
That is not proof of any gods. Spinoza got no closer than anyone else.
Like I said, no one has ever proved any gods exist, let alone yours.
The total value of the universe is necessarily zero. Therefore we came from nothing and we will return to nothing. Simple math.
Oops.
mindless drivel from an unregenerate.
What is your opinion on the matter?
The total value of the universe is necessarily zero. Therefore we came from nothing and we will return to nothing. Simple math.
That may be true. However this is a discussion forum so it is therefore the appropriate place to express my opinions. Do you agree with the opinion I expressed or disagree?
Sorry wrong place. Meant for that big meany the wandering scotty.
the three religions may have all started in Genesis with Abraham, but they don't end up in the same place....if you want the study the differences in the religions, look to the book of Revelation on one side and islamic end-times/last day studies on the other hand....the big difference between Islam and Christianity is the mirror image of the end time personalities mentioned in Revelation....
Christianity........................Islam
Beast.................................the Ummah
Anti-christ...........................the coming restored Caliph who is the Mahdi
False Prophet.....................Prophet Issa (Jesus) who comes to help the Mahdi & works miracles
King Jesus who returns.......False Prophet of the Jews who makes war on Islam
Armageddon the final battle.....The Mother of all Battles (Triumph of Islam)
so do you see the symmetry here? no disrespect intended to anyone here, I just find this interesting)
any comments?
The seed doesn't fall far from the tree.
You incorrectly assume that John's revelation is referring to modern events, it wasn't. He was referring to events that were supposed to (as Jesus promised) happen in their lifetime. So in that respect, your theory kind of fall flat.
Not sure I would call that a theory...
sorry bud, but it's your preterism falls flat....in one place in Rev it says satan was chained and thrown into hell....I asked a preterist believing fellow about that since there is such incredible evil in the world, and he had the nerve to explain, "well, ya gotta understand, satan is on a looo–onng chain!"
I doubt the preterist in question believed in satan.
No I am not a preterist. That still assumes that the events of prophecies have ocurred. I contend that he was speaking to the very near future of his own time and the events he predicted DIDN'T happen. Completely different thing.
hello G.... how many dots have to line up before you see a pattern?
bible prophecy........................................fulfilled (or potential to be fulfilled)
return of israel to the land......................1948 founding of israel
time of gentiles at an end........................1967 Jerusalem returns to Israel & Jewish people
alignment of enemies against israel (turkey, syria, iran, iraq, libya, sudan, etc)........present day
return of jews from north south & all over to israel.............................present days, especially since 1990
last days conversion of so many jews to christianity..........................present days
spread of gospel to whole world thru internet, satellite tv, cell phones.....present days
all literally fulfilled or in the process of fulfillment....nope, God is not a preterist either
Nope – I still don't think you understand what I'm trying to say: Revelation of John = about Rome in his time.
It is only the later followers who had to explain why the Kingdom of God had not already arrived (as Jesus and Paul promised). Just as the earlier prophets were speaking to their time. You should read up on the rabbinical traditions a bit.
hey G, I am acquainted with your theory there...it is called Preterism...it is the standard interpretation of Revelation given by liberals...I walked away from that belief and the church I was raised in when I found out what they are teaching...Nope, the book of revelation is not a "code" for the events of the day at the time of the fall of Jerusalem. Someone said a long time ago "if the plain sense makes the best sense, seek no other sense." The bible doesn't have any other book written in coded figures and names, so why revelation? The better way to read it is that it speaks of things past, things present, and things future. It is very prophetic and speaks to today. Prophecies are being presently fulfilled leading up to the rapture, the tribulation, and the second coming. Get Ready!
I think you're still off on the definition, but whatever.
Ever heard of the Apocalypse of Peter? My point is that John was working in a known genre of the time. And ever since his writing, people have tried to shoe-horn current events to line up with that belief.
Re-founding of Israel – here's a great example. Who refounded Israel? Was it the Jews? No. It was created by Christian that believe Israel would have to be re-founded because of their interpretation of the prophecy. Did you know that Madagascar was offered to be the new Jewish homeland but it was turned down? Again, not by the Jews, but by Christians. It was turned down because it wouldn't have fulfilled their interpretaion of the prophecy.
the apoc. of peter almost made it into the canon. it has a lot of similarities to Rev. It did not get in because they were not sure who wrote it. Rev got in because Eusubias, disciple of Polycarp, disciple of John, strongly affirmed that John wrote it. Say something intelligent, or I am signing off. you are not saying anything. Ask Jesus who wrote the Apoc. of Peter after he comes back. Who knows, Peter may have actually written the thing. (???)
"it has a lot of similarities to Rev"
That's a bit of stretch if you've ever read it. Dante's inferno might be a closer fit IMO. Ah Polycarp – now remind me again – what did he write? Or do we just have the word of Irenaeus?
The CNN Belief Blog is in summer reruns.
hello rabbis out there....will somebody give me a better reference or article or something on the 70 Correct Ways to Understand the Law mentioned in the article up there???....the bablyonian talmud is unintelligible to anyone without a decades-long immersion and an extensive background studying it....
so how about a little help here for an intrigued gentile?
What is your question?
no question, I am just asking for a gentile friendly article on the 70 Correct Ways....is there a summation somewhere? or is there a book on this? perhaps something online?
??????
I've never heard of it, so I'm unfamiliar. Sorry. I could only talk about it from the Biblical perspective.
Why this old article suddenly popped up from the grave?
It was ressurected perhaps?
Caleb Boone.
June 8, 2014 at 9:13 am | Reply
(page 75)
Maybe he ran across a link to it somewhere...
He restarted the discussion. It's ok, I guess, but I hate that the new post links don't work on these old articles.
CNN brought it back because of this update:
(CNN) – Pope Francis surprised Israeli and Palestinian leaders last month when he invited them to a special prayer ceremony at the Vatican this Sunday – not least because religion has often been the source, not the salve, of the region's conflicts.
Still, Pope Francis offered his "home" – the Vatican – as the perfect place to plea for some divine assistance, and Israeli President Shimon Peres and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas dutifully agreed to attend.
-------
This just happened recently.
Agree with the recent comment links not working; I guess it's because of things being deleted from the comments section originally. If they're going to being back an old article, one would think they would fix this glitch.
Christians and Muslims just pay more heed to the sequels than the original and make war over mythological minutiae.
The basis of all three is the same ancient middle eastern text.
Even Mormons, with their Part III: American Jesus, are of the same tradition.
It's kind of like the Highlander movies (for those who don't like the previous Zombie analogy)
The first one was a good story, full of action, mystery and suspense and it wrapped up nicely at the end.
The second one blatantly contradicted the first, tossing in some head scratching plot twists and plenty more magic.
The third effectively ignores the second, but still manages to contradict the original in many ways.
In the end, there can be only one.
Unregenerat3 opinion alert.
Idiot alert.
@ Doc: while enjoying the Highlander reference, i'm left wondering what you wouldn't label "minutia".
is there any larger point of divide in theology (the "study of God") than disagreeing on who God fundamentally is?
just in regard to Jesus...
Judaism: Jesus was a false prophet, definitely not God
Christians: Jesus is God in the flesh
Muslims: Jesus was a true prophet but is not God – his teaching was corrupted by his disciples
Mormons: Jesus is one god among many (henotheism)
Regardless of how you stack it, each is making a radically different statement about who God is.
It's not minutia or peripheral – it's the CENTRAL, DEFINING point of the debate.
Refusing to acknowledge that is refusing to listen.
Which really shows that none have evidence just myth.
@ Santa: as I've posted many times before, here's one of the most prominent myth experts of the last century debunking your claim in regard to the Gospel accounts...
"I have been reading poems, romances, vision-literature, legends, myths all my life. I know what they are like. I know that not one of them is like this. Of this text there are only two possible views. Either this is reportage – though it may no doubt contain errors – pretty close up to the facts; nearly as close as Boswell. Or else, some unknown writer in the second century, without known predecessors, or successors, suddenly anticipated the whole technique of modern, novelistic, realistic narrative. If it is untrue, it must be narrative of that kind. The reader who doesn't see this has simply not learned to read. I would recommend him to read Auerbach."
here's the essay in its entirety (given to Cambridge & Oxford scholars):
http://orthodox-web.tripod.com/papers/fern_seed.html
Firstly this post was about how the different Abrahamic religions perceive Jesus.
Secondly, C. S. Lewis does not bebunk anything about the gospels – they do differ in detail, significantly on some topics, and very little of what is in them has been verified as correct.
@ Santa:
1) you're the one who invoked myth as a category.
2) you clearly didn't read the essay.
Russ, If there were any truth behind the stories of personal gods, there would only be one religion and 7 billion believers. That's why I called it a myth.
russ
"is there any larger point of divide in theology (the "study of God") than disagreeing on who God fundamentally is?"
Since you will not be able to find any two people who agree 100% what god is or does, the definition for god is in the imagination of whomever is defining god. Because of this, you will never have concensus. As far as any can show, "god" exists only in the imagination, and if there is a god or gods, it likely would not fit fully into anyone's definition.
@ igaftr:
1) you would be hard pressed to find ANYONE who agrees 100% on ANYTHING. does it thus follow that EVERYTHING is imaginary?
your logic is self-refuting.
2) the question of "defining God" – if it is an entirely anthropocentric project (as you seem to assume) – defeats the whole discussion for a transcendent being.
simply put: God defines himself – regardless of what we want to say about him.
Why did posters start posting under this old article?
It's CNN's contribution to the recycling effort.
I noticed scot getting his butt kicked pretty good, so he just started posting cut and post bible verses all over the place.
When you have nothing to say of value, remember your brainwashing.
Name, rank and Bible verse number is all you're getting out of him.
doc.
Since he posts all over the internet, he actually gives you a huge amount of his personal info. Just a quick google search by his name will give you his full name, email address, physical address ( actually found last five physical addresses), and he gets mad that he isn't anonymous. He wasn't smart enough to be anonymous. All that was found in about 20 seconds... he could have created a different name by now so he prefers to remain identified.
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
scot,
Your comments *are* being logged, however, and they tell us a lot about your puerility - and that no god could in any way be guiding you.
Comment not logged. Not all those who wander are lost...
scot
Calling everyone unregenerate is pretty childish, since you also are unregebnerate, and cannot show you were ever born again or regenerate. That is simply belief with nothing verifying that you were ever born again. It is like calling every one a poopy head, but you are no stranger to name calling. It seems all you do is name call, and cut and paste your book of myths.
scot is the current king of the ad hominem. He's just angry that he's been consistently hammered here. No big deal.
scot is just having a tantrum here - stomping his feet, closing his eyes, fingers in his ears, saying "la, la, la, la, I don't hear you...".
17 times just on this page alone, scot has said "i'm sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling LALALALALA" by claiming people who don't believe as he does are "unregenerate" and implies you have to believe to see god...standard believer nonsense, but 17 times on one page alone shows the immaturity level.
I'm guessing that not having your comment "logged" by Snotty Scotty is akin to being put on the list of ?original HeavenSent? of people s/he supposedly wouldn't respond to beyond that. – lol.
To be fair, my carnal bones are pretty dry.
"According to Christian tradition, God begets a son who is somehow also Him but not Him to atone for Original Sin. He sacrifices that son though a brutal death and thus achieves humanity's salvation. But the son, who also is God, rises from the dead. And that sacrifice redeems eternally all who accept and believe in it."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Who comes up with this stuff?!?!
Has to be the most asinine plot line ever written and yet when you indoctrinate children young enough, the BS test is never applied.
even as a child getting indoctrinated at church and at sunday school I kept looking around puzzled, wondering if all the other children actually believed this nonsense they were telling us. I figured it was something we pretended to believe to keep the adults happy. Sort of an inverse santa claus.
And the kings of the earth, the great men, the rich men, the commanders, the mighty men, every slave and every free man, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains, and said to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of Him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of His wrath has come, and who is able to stand?” – Revelation 6:15-17 – get ready, it's coming.
BEWARE!
Soon you shall face MONSTERS GALORE
Fear the WAR GRASSHOPPERS
War Grasshoppers (Revelation 9)
Minions of the Angel Abaddon, these golden crowned insects won't kill you, but they will make you long for death. Unlike earthly locusts, these beasties have human faces, a woman's hair and the powerful teeth of a lion – which ups the creepy factor significantly. Swatting them away seems unlikely as their carapace is as strong as iron, plus they travel in swarms that are louder than a herd of stampeding horses.
Not only are they nigh indestructible, they also carry a venom in their scorpion-like tails that causes excruciating agony for 5 months.
Tremble before the might of the BEAST!
A gigantic, amphibious, 7 headed, 10 horned, bear pawed, fang toothed monster that will emerge from the ocean and go on a Godzilla-esque rampage!
Beware! DOOM! The End is nigh! REPENT!
Doom doom doom doom!
Also, doom.
(This message brought to you by John of Patmos and the Book of Reveleation)
Doom di doo doo, da dum de doom, la dee dee doom de dom doom, sha-boom boom doom.
thank you for your story book quote Scot. You just proved my point. LOL
Comment not logged. Copy/paste from book of fantasy and myths.
awanderingscot,
Your comments were far more entertaining when you tried to put some of your own logic in. So far, you are just proving that you might be a 5-year-old doing cut and paste. Well done.
And the kings of the earth, the great men, the rich men, the commanders, the mighty men, every slave and every free man, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains, and said to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of Him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of His wrath has come, and who is able to stand?” – Revelation 6:15-17 – get ready, it's coming.
Revelation (example of writings from early substance abuser)...
the wrath of the Lamb!
--–
In general, lambs seem fairly harmless.
Comment not logged. Copy/paste from book of fantasy and myths.
Same God, different prophets.
It's kind of like the old zombie movies.
Consider the Old Testament as the 1st Night of the Living Dead.
There then came various sequels, Dawn of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Night of Living Dead II, each based (at least loosely) on the original, but still different.
Now there are countless variations on zombies – sequels to sequels, remakes, re-interpretations, parodies, and crackpot extremists that are preparing for the inevitable zompocalypse.
Now the great city was divided into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell. And great Babylon was remembered before God, to give her the cup of the wine of the fierceness of His wrath. – Revelation 16:19, NKJV
Obviously, even Edgar Allen Poe couldn't hold a candle to John of Patmos in terms of substance abuse.
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
...are ignorant about the things of God
----
Exceptionally high irony alert.
awanderingscot,
Your repeated copy-and-paste response appears to be a non-thinking robotic reaction.
Of course, observer. I wonder how long it took those trainers to teach that parrot "regenerate"...
As I sat in prayerful meditation last night, a great, deafening blast from a heavenly horn heralded the arrival of a ghostly being of terrible power.
A blinding flash of purest white light overtook the room and I fell to my knees before the mighty sprectre. And it spake.
"Lo! I am the archangel Dimmbulbi and I come unto you, Vestibular Doctor, with tidings of things not yet come to pass. And ye shall share these warnings with all thine people so that a terrible doom may be avoided."
For an unknown length of time, my very brain was flooded with a torrent of images, terrible to behold.
And so, just as John did in the book of Revelation, so shall I share with you these heavenly images of doom doom doom!
In a desert scape far to the east where black gold does lay beneath the sand, I saw the mind of a despotic leader.
Mahmoud was his name and great evil does he plan. Stones that emit an aura poison to man and filled with explosive energy were being sown as seeds in the earth amongst the insects of the desert. And yea there came forth scorpions of brobdignagian proportions who breathed atomic fire and stung with poison like acid!
When asked by his allies and enemies alike as to their purpose, president Ahmadinejad did say that they were "purely decorative."
And then the archangel Dimmbulbi revelaed images of my own homeland's closest ally and the failing health of its people. All across the New World, the people grew ever more fat and slothful and knowing this in themselves, saught an easy answer.
A great wizard by the name of Popeil did ponder the issue and upon reflection, did seek to use poison as medicine. "As botulism has cured wrinkling, so too shall salmonella cure obesity! But wait, there's more! Across the land shall I raise booths in the common shopping malls to administer the greatest of my inventions to the people. Yea, for 3 easy payments of $24.99 my people shall be injected with Salmonex and they shall technicolourly hurl their girth into the toilet."
Many more images did I see – Paris Hilton toting an adopted african child in a handbag I saw. Suri Cruise named the second coming of L. Ron being adorned with fictional military decorations.
I saw in my mind the Four Swedish Disco Bands of The Apocalypse – Abba, Ace of Bass, Aqua and an unnamed fourth group – exploding the ears and good sense of crowds of drunkards wiht their funky, butt wiggling DOOM!
I saw these things and wept, my brothers.But as the archangel commanded, I must share these tidings with you all.
Before He departed, Dimmbulbi did tell me that these things may be averted if only the world would heed my call.
So now, my brothers, waste not any time! Send me your money in cash (small, unmarked bills only) so that I might avert these things for you.
I also accept certified cheques and money orders. No personal cheques.
I heard a story about a group in LA who was trying to raise a million dollars to kick start Armageddon.
"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth."
– Dawn of the Dead, 1978
The Zompocalypse is prophesied throughout the Bible.
"Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise. You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy! For your dew is a dew of light, and the earth will give birth to the dead. Come, my people, enter your chambers, and shut your doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until the fury has passed by. "
– Isaiah 26:19
"And as I prophesied, there was a sound, and behold, a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone. And I looked, and behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them. But there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army. "
– Ezekiel 37:7
"The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended. This is the first resurrection. "
– Revelation 20:5
"The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many."
– Matthew 27:52
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
Dufus (Snotty Scotty) translator: "I've got my blinders on and I don't see or hear you."
Reading articles like this is so painful because it is so obvious the author knows nothing about any of the religions he's writing on.
Since you seem to know where he went wrong, why don't you back your comment with some facts?
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
Comment not logged. Trix are kids...
TOT: Do you know what broken-record-syndrome is? Do you comprehend how pathetic it is?
Daniel Burke: Please take care of this troll. We've noticed that since you warned thefinisher, he has calmed down.
Re : thefinisher1
There was no finisher and fake finisher. There was only A.B.
Islam serves a different God from Judaism and Christianity.....the Muslim God believes Jesus was a prophet only..nothing more...Christianity and Judaism (Messianic Jews for example..and the first converts were Jews) say Jesus is God...plus...the Muslim God is not Just..he forgives on a whim...not based on justice....and Muslim God also says you earn your way to heaven by deeds..maybe....(they are very undecisive) there is too many dismilarities to be the same God
Yet all of you believe you have the right god and not one of you can prove the god exists.
Your god is very divisive also-believe or else; LGBT are sinning; etc. Your god sets forth many reasons for which it wouldn't accept people in to heaven and the gullible believers do their best to keep the ancient fairy tales alive-creating divisions where none should be had. It is arrogance to think you're right and the others are wrong.
There is one main requirement for your heaven-believe in this god or suffer for eternity (don't try to twist it...it is what it is and you are not the god whisperer to know).
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
Dufus translator: "I've got my blinders on and I don't see or hear you."
There's a major shock TOT!!! Not too much registers with you!!
Comment not logged. Trix are kids...
Kermit, Kermit, Kermit,
We still await for you to educate yourself. Some starting references concerning the real Jesus were previously provided. You obviously have not read them making any commentary you make about your Jesus, moot.
Comment not logged. Unregenerates are ignorant about the things of God.
Comment not logged. Trix are kids...
Aw, scotty. Are you taking your ball and going home?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeedE8vH1FQ
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I wonder if the moderators will every do anything about this spam-bot.
No, they do not.
Yes they do.
They don't? How would you think you know that for certain?
Of course they do. it's the same petty, vicious, hateful imaginary "loving" father.
Well, for starters the attributes each gives to God are different. Second, each group would tell you they aren't the same. And also historically that's the position that's been held.
the attributes each gives to God are different.
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Indeed. Quite common when the notions are constructed by human beings. Humans have differing ideas and ways of seeing things.